Confided In Me Was Your Heart
by CaigeCollect
Summary: Zacky V/OC story. I've been working on this thing for a while now...it's my favorite thing I've ever written...I can't even explain it. You just have to read it! It's super long...and in one chapter here. Sorry about that. XD


Detta POV-

"Hey Vendetta...you gotta visitor," my boss Lou said, sticking his had in the door of the dressing room. I rolled my eyes. It was more than likely one of my regular customers, one of the more obsessed ones, like Joe, or Daniel. Their wives had probably given them shit and-or they'd had a rough day at the office and needed a little distraction. A hundred dollar bill, fifteen minutes, and a lap dance later, they'd leave with a hard-on and I'd have the rest of the my rent money. "Let 'em in." I said, putting down my eyeshadow brush. I looked in the mirror to make sure I looked okay. I took my thumbs and smudged the red shadow below my eyes a bit and pulled the clip out of my hair. My long straight black and purple hair cascaded down my back as a knock came at the door. "Come in." I called, picking up a brush and running it through my hair. "Now, what if I had been some assassin, coming in here to take you away and never return? What would my nephew do without his mama?" a familiar voice asked from the doorway. My head snapped up and I could see her reflection in the mirror."Piper!" I said, springing up and running over to her. She grabbed me in a hug and we broke apart, both of us grinning. "It's so good to see you." I said. "It's good to see you too! Hey, I've got a job for you, if you get past the audition, which I'm sure you will." Piper said. "Piper, I appreciate it, but I have a job here...and I can't afford to take a chance." I said. "Okay...well if you change your mind, we're staying to watch you perform." she said, her hand on the door. I smiled at her and nodded. "I'll do your song tonight then." I told her. Piper threw her head back and laughed. "Alright. I'll see ya out there, just don't fall this time," she said. "Oh ha ha." I replied, sticking my tongue out at her. "You love meeeee," she replied in a sing-song voice. "Yes I do." I answered. Piper gave me a hug and let herself out of the dressing room and I finished dressing for work. I pulled on my black skirt and fishnet stockings, black rhinestone bra, white button up, bowtie, and black Converse-style platform boots. I put on my glasses and piled my hair on top of my head, putting my hat on over it, and grabbed my guitar to use as a prop, as I always did when I performed to "Scream". It _was_ the strip-club anthem, and my outfit _was_ inspired by one of my idols, Zacky Vengeance. My heels tapped on the floor as I walked out to the curtain. "Scream tonight?" Kevin, our sound and light guy asked. I nodded and smiled warmly at him. Kevin was a sweetheart, and one of my favorite people in the world. He was a single father to a little girl and this was his second job. He worked for us on the weekends to make a better life for his daughter, who was the same age as my son. "Kill 'em, Detta." he said, dimming the lights on the stage.

Zacky POV-

The lights dimmed on the stage and my song started playing. Well, our song. Our being the band I'm in, Avenged Sevenfold. Then the lights flashed purple, then white, then purple again. Piper, Matt, and I were all sitting at a table right next to the stage and Piper was smiling. I guessed this was the girl she had told us about, the one she had hand picked for us to take out on tour with us when Uproar Tour began the next week. The lights dimmed a bit and the curtain pulled back to reveal a girl with my guitar on her back. Well, it wasn't really _my_ guitar, but it looked just like it. She was wearing a black skirt and a white button up as far as I could tell, and had high heeled platform boots on. Something told me she wasn't your typical stripper. I looked to Matt, who was staring at Piper, who was staring at the stage. I turned my attention back to the stage to see the female version of me standing less than three feet away from me. She was dressed exactly like me, except she had a skirt on. She had on a bowtie, a hat, the glasses like mine, everything. I was mesmerized, I literally could not take my eyes off of her. She had a beautiful face, beautiful skin, beautiful everything. I looked to Piper and tapped her on the arm. "Yes, Zacky?" she said. "I like her. She's really pretty. I pick her." I said, leaning in so she could hear me. She laughed and patted my hand. "What makes you say that, Zacky?" she replied. I shrugged and looked back to the stage. The girl had thrown off her hat and her hair was black and purple and touched the small of her back. I zoned out, lost in thought as she collected her money and clothes and put the guitar strap over her naked torso. All she had left on was fishnets, boots, and her underwear. I looked back to Piper and Matt. "Well?" Matt said. "Well, I'm biased. What do you boys think?" Piper replied. "I vote yes. She's good, she's pretty, she's a fan, and she's your friend...and from what you've told me, she's a great person. Tell her she's got the job." Matt told her. Piper looked to me. "Zacky..." she said. "I already told you my answer." I said, taking a drink of my beer and sitting it down.

Detta POV-

I wiped my face with a baby wipe and pulled my jeans and t-shirt back on. A knock came at the door as I grabbed my purse and headed to leave. "Yeah?" I called. Piper walked in with two guys behind her, who I immediately recognized. Why I hadn't noticed them when I was on stage, I still have no idea. M. Shadows was holding her hand, which didn't surprise me, they had been dating for a few months, and behind them, Zacky Vengeance. My jaw dropped and I still stand by the statement that my heart stopped beating. He was even more gorgeous in person than I could have ever dreamed. "Detta...I have someone I want you to meet." Piper said, letting go of M's hand. "This is Matt...and Zacky." she said, the guys standing side by side, a foot in front of me. I held my shaking hand out, trying not to gape at them. Matt shook my hand gently and said something, but I'm not completely sure what it was, exactly. I was definitely staring at Zacky, and I was definitely blushing. "So, you know that audition I was telling you about?" Piper said. I didn't take my eyes off of Zacky's as I nodded in reply. "It's to tour with us...to be one of our dancers...you'd be making three times as much you do here, and it's at least a six month gig." she said. I looked away from Zacky and back at Piper. "Piper, you know I can't leave." I told her. "Why not?" Zacky asked. I looked back at him and smiled. "I have a son and no one to take care of him...or else I'd say yes." I told him. "So bring him with you." he suggested. "Bring him with me?" I replied. He nodded. "Why not?" Piper said. I looked back and forth between the three of them. They were all staring at me, waiting on an answer. "Do I have to answer now?" I asked. "Well, no, but we do leave in two weeks. I don't want you to feel pressured though...I know it's last minute, but we need dancers, and we'll pay you...and you can definitely bring your son, that's not a problem." Matt told me. I looked up at him and smiled warmly. "You are really sweet. I see why Piper loves you so much." I told him. He smiled and put an arm around her shoulders. "I'll let you know something tomorrow. For now, I need to go home and let Kayla go for the night...and get my ass in the bed. I'm exhausted." I said. "I am too, and I don't feel so hot." Piper said. "You okay?" Matt asked, looking down at her. She nodded and wrapped an arm across her stomach. "I'm just really nauseated. I think it was that Mexican we ate earlier." she told him. "You wanna go home?" he asked. She nodded in reply once more, leaning her head on his chest. They really were cute together, and I was happy for her. I could tell by the way he looked at her, touched her, cared for her, they would last a really long time. Piper deserved the best and it was completely obvious Matt wanted to give her nothing less than that. I smiled at them as they waved goodbye and left, Zacky still standing in the dressing room. "They're really cute together." I said. "Yeah they are...Piper's a sweet girl. She's good for Matt." Zacky answered. I nodded and switched my purse to the other shoulder. "Aren't you gonna get left behind?" I asked. "No, I drove myself here." he replied, holding the door open for me. "Oh...well. At least you're not gonna get stranded. I mean, that would totally suck, getting stranded at a twenty-four hour strip joint." I said, walking down the hallway. Zacky was walking next to me, but several feet away. "Yeah..." he said, readjusting his hat. "I wonder if anyone else is off." I said, looking around. "Do you need a ride home or something?" he asked me. I looked around again. Was Zacky Vengeance really offering me a ride home from work? I was really protective of myself, especially since I'd been permanently emotionally scarred and affected by taking a ride from a complete stranger before. "Um...that's really, really sweet...but I'm kinda weird about taking rides from strangers. I don't even ride in cabs." I told him. "That's cool, I understand." he said, throwing his hands up. Kevin walked down the hallway toward us. "You okay, Detta?" he asked. "Mhm...are you off? I need a ride home." I replied. "Yeah, I got you. Just give me about ten minutes, okay?" he said. "Okay, Kev." I replied, leaning against the wall. "I'm really sorry if I freaked you out by offering you a ride." Zacky said. "It's okay, Zacky..." I said. He was beyond beautiful, he was something I can't describe. He was definitely sweet. Vengeance didn't suit him. Zacky Sweetheart just didn't sound very metal.

Zacky POV-

I really made myself look like a jackass those last ten minutes with Detta, of that I am almost positive. I stumbled over my words, rambled, and stared at her a lot. That wasn't like me at all. Normally, I was confindent, on the edge of cocky, joking around and making everyone laugh. Not with her. I noticed she had snakebites, a septum piercing, and quite a few tattoos, including one on her wrist that said 6661, and something on her other wrist that I swore to myself said Zacky. I could've been imagining things, though. I probably was. She obscured my vision like no one else on earth ever had before-and I've seen a lot of pretty ladies in my twenty-nine years of living. There was something about her...about this girl named Vendetta, that just drew me in. Maybe, I thought, it was the fact that, in a lot of ways, she was the female me. That and the fact that I felt like she was the piece of metal and I was the magnet. I got in my car and watched her get in the truck with the guy named Kevin and as soon as they were gone, I drove home to Huntington Beach. My big house was lonely, now that my wife had left me for a multi-billion dollar something or another who lived in the Hollywood hills. I guess Zacky wasn't the man for her. When I got in the house, I immediately pulled my phone out to call Matt, Piper was my best friend. I knew if I couldn't talk to Matt, I could talk to Piper. Syn, Matt and Johnny were my bandmates, they're my bros, but I can't talk to them in the way I talk to Piper, especially not about this. I scrolled through my contacts and hit send on the only P in the phonebook. "Hello?" Piper answered. "Hey." I replied, sitting down on the couch. "Hey, Zacky." she answered. She sounded like she felt a bit better than she had earlier. "You feelin' better?" I asked, just to be sure. "I am, Zacky...and how are you? How did things go with Detta? Was she nice to you? Because she can be kinda...I dunno...mean, sometimes." Piper asked. "Vendetta? Mean? I doubt that. She was really nice...and funny, and talkative. She's gorgeous." I said, taking off my hat and tossing it onto the table. "Awww. Did you tell her that?" she replied. "No...I wanted to, but I was already making an ass out of myself. I dunno what it was, Piper, she did things to me. I really, really like her. I hope she goes on tour with us. I want to get to know her better." I said. "That's sweet, Zacky. It really is...maybe if I tell her that, it'll convince her to take the job."

I shook my head, not that Piper could see. "No, don't tell her that. She can't know I like her, she'll think I'm a creep. Wait and tell her later. Not tonight." I said. "Zacky, you sound like such a girl. Do you want her to come out on tour with us or not?" Piper asked. "Well yeah, but what if you tell her I like her, and it creeps her out? She'll say no and I'll never get to know her better. Just tell her I think she's pretty. That should do it. Right?" I asked. "Yeah...she's always been crazy over you, so I'm sure that'll do just fine." Piper told me. We talked for a few more minutes before she let me go. Detta was calling her; probably to tell her what a nerd I was and that she had no desire whatsoever to tour with us.

Detta POV-

"So, I know you're gonna say 'I knew you would' or something like that, but I accept the job." I told Piper as I looked into my four year old son's bedroom, watching him sleep. Once again, he had fallen asleep with his Guitar Hero guitar, black and white 6661 stickers on it, covered with his Avenged blanket, the LBC DVD menu on his TV screen. I wondered how he would react being around the guys. I knew he'd recognize them, how could he not? After all, they were my favorite band, and his too, for that matter. He knew who each member was, and what they did in the band. His favorite member was, naturally, Zacky Vengeance. I heard M in the background asking Piper a question. "I am on the phone, Matthew...but yes, it is Detta, and yes, she is taking the job. I didn't even have to tell her what Zacky said about her to convince her." she told him. "What did he say about me?" I asked. "That you're really pretty." Piper replied simply. I felt my heart flutter. Zacky Vengeance thought I was really pretty. Wow. I hated the thought of going to sleep. I feared that when I woke, this would all be a dream. I'd still be stuck right where I was, stripping to make a living for my son and I. All I wanted was for my son to grow up safe, protected, educated, and for him to have the things I didn't have. The job Piper had for me would allow me to do that; I could start college classes, I could move into a better place. I was starting to fall asleep when Piper and I finally hung up the phone.

Zacky POV-

I was settled into bed, almost asleep when my phone rang. "What the fuck..." I said, rolling over, picking it up. Piper. I had better answer that. "Hello?" I answered. "Come over here," Piper said. I rubbed my eyes and looked over at the clock. "Why?" I asked. "Cause I said so. Don't be a pussy. What do you have to worry about?" she replied. "I don't know...I'm just wondering why you want me to come over at 2AM..." I told her. "Zachary...quit asking your stupid ass questions. The quicker you get over here the quicker we can all go to bed."

I rolled my eyes. "I'm already in bed," I said. "So, I care why? Get your ass in your car and get over here," she demanded. "Can't this wait?" I asked her. I really didn't want to get out of bed at all, especially not if it could wait until morning. "No," she replied simply. I could tell I wasn't going to win this fight. I sighed and threw the covers off of me, picked up my glasses and put them on. "Damn it, Piper. Fine. I'll see you in a few minutes," I replied. Her voice perked up. "See you soon!" I groaned and grabbed a pair of shorts and put them on, dug in my drawer for a shirt and put on the first one I could find, slipped on a pair of sandals, and grabbed my hat off my dresser. I locked up the house and got in the car, made the short drive to Matt's house, and knocked on the door. Matt opened the door, laughing. I grimaced. "I see nothing funny. I was comfortable," I said, stepping inside the door. "It's fucking hilarious," Matt replied. "What is?" I replied. "You actually did it. You start giving her her way now, and you'll never disobey again," he said. I shrugged and sat down on the couch. Piper appeared out of the kitchen, holding two beers. "Piper..." I said. "Hiya! I didnt wake you up did I?" she asked. I glared at her before replying, "Actually you did."

"Oops...here," she said, handing me a beer. I took it and twisted the top off, taking a drink. "You may need this, too," Matt said, laying a folded up shirt on my chest. "Why?" I asked, unfolding it. It had a stripper on a pole on it, with writing that said "I support single moms". I didn't get it, probably because I was half asleep. "What's the point of all of this?" I asked. "Your girl agreed to go on tour with us," Piper said, smiling hugely. "My...girl...Detta?" I asked. I was now fully awake. "How many other strippers do you know that are also single mothers...that Piper also knows?" Matt replied. "Are you fucking with me?" I asked Piper. "At 2 AM, I don't fuck around," she replied, still smiling. "She already decided she'd go...you didn't tell her what I said about her, did you?" I asked.

"Vaguely, yes, but not until after she decided she was going," she answered. "Oh God...why did you tell her that? She's gonna think I'm some creepy ass motherfucker now," I said, sitting my beer down. "Aren't you?" Matt asked. "I don't know. I definitely don't want her to think that about me. Piper, please tell me she doesn't think I'm some creepy motherfucker..." I said, drinking the rest of my beer. "Zack, she doesnt think you're creepy. The exact opposite actually," Piper assured me. "Good to know...wait, did she say anything about me?" I replied, sitting up. Piper took Matt's beer and took a drink of it. "Nope. Even if she did it's against the girls code," Piper replied. I looked at Matt, puzzled. "That means she did, doesn't it?" I asked him.

"I'm not at liberty to discuss it. She'll kill me," he replied, pointing at Piper. I nodded and stood up. "Fair enough. I'm going home and going to bed...I'm fucking exhausted...but uh...thanks..." I said. "See you later..." Matt replied. "Oh hell no. Stop right there. You're blushing!" Piper said. I turned around. "I am not..." I said. "Yes you are! I'm the blush queen, I know blushing, and you, Zacky Baker, are blushing!" she said. "Am I? Am I even capable of blushing? I don't think I've ever blushed before..." I answered. "That is so cute!" Piper said, giggling. "What is?" I replied, finishing off the beer she had given me. "That my best friend is the first girl to ever make you blush," she answered.

"Oh...Detta...yeah...um...I'm gonna go...I'll see you guys later..." I said, waving to them. "Be careful," Matt said. I nodded, rattling my keys. "I'll try," I replied. "She said as she walked away...which reminds me, Unholy Confessions is her favorite song," Piper called after me. I stopped and turned around once more. "Really? Why?" I asked. She shrugged and smiled. "Always has been. You'll have to ask her yourself...you know, when you see her...on tour with us," she said. I felt my cheeks get hot again. "Right, goodnight guys..." I said, opening the front door and letting myself out.

Detta POV-

I woke up to Unholy Confessions blasting near my ear. "Holy fucking..." I said, picking it up. It was a text from Piper. I opened it and squinted, trying to make out what it said. "You should have seen Zack a few minutes ago," it said. I rubbed my eyes and hit reply. "Zacky? Are you with him?" I asked, my heart fluttering. "Was. Had to tell him you were going on tour. It was so cute! He was blushing!" she replied. Blushing? Zacky Vengeance? Really? "He blushed?" I asked her. "Swears it was the first time it had ever happened. O_o right," she told me. "That is cute...what did he say about me this time?" I replied, sitting up. I pulled my deathbat blanket down off the back of the couch and wrapped it around me. "Nothing...he just blushed."

I smiled and hit reply once more. "That's adorable...I can't wait to see him again, Piper...he's so...I don't even know. Amazing..." I replied. My heart fluttered again, my stomach too. He gave me butterflies. No one had done that in years. " It's good to see you say that. He needs a good woman," she told me. "Ha, like anything will happen between us. Besides, isn't he married? :(" I sent. "Soon to be divorced," she said. My heart jumped. What? He was divorcing Gena? Really? "Don't play, Piper...my heart is in my throat right now," I told her. "Not lying. You've gotta chance," she said. Oh God. Oh God. The fan girl in me was flipping her shit. "If I weren't half asleep right now, I'd be fangirling. And you said he said I'm pretty right?"

"Fucking gorgeous was the terms he used, but yeah pretty works too, ;-)" she replied. My eyes grew wide. Fucking gorgeous? That is not what she'd told me earlier. She'd said he told her he thought I was really pretty. "YOU SAID EARLIER HE SAID PRETTY WHY DID YOU NOT TELL ME HE SAID FUCKING GORGEOUS? LJKDASJKJAD OH MY GOD," I sent. I didn't wait for a reply before sending another. "Okay, I'm done fangirling now..." I said. My breathing and heart rate were still erratic. "Don't fangirl too loud, you'll wake the baby!" she said. I snorted and hit reply. "Girl please, he is k-o in his bed...LBC DVD blaring, guitar in the bed, deathbat blanket...you know how he is. My beautiful baby boy...gah, girl, he is getting so big," I said. My son was my world, and he loved me, but he loved his Aunt Piper more than anything in the entire universe.

"I remember when he was born. Who you telling he's getting big? I wonder how Matt'll take to him? Been thinking about kids a bit ya know," she replied. I smiled and hit reply once again. "Aww, have you? You'll make an amazing mommy, Piper. You and Matt will have gorgeous kids!" I told her. "Thanks. I'm not so sure about me, but he, i think will be great. I'm hoping little man can prove that. We're not trying or nothing...trust me. Just thinking..." she said. "Lol, I love you...and you'll make a beautiful, amazing mom, trust me. I've seen you with my baby...I told him I saw you tonight. He was so jealous. He misses his Aunt Piper," I said. ":-) Did you tell him that he'll get to see me all the time soon?" she asked. 

"No, not yet. In the morning, though. He was up when I got in and I told him I saw you while I was tucking him in and all," I told her. "I can't wait to see him again! It's been too damn long," she said. "I know it...you'll see him soon, though. Girl, you wanna know something scary? I swear to God he looks like ZV..." I said. He really did look like Zacky. He had the same face shape, bright green eyes, and thick, dark hair. He didn't look like me at all in my opinion, though other people said he did. I just thought he looked like Zacky. "Your imagi-nation is fucked up again Detta again. You need to go to sleep," she told me. "Well you did wake me up...but it's okay. Totally worth it to know ZV thinks I'm fucking gorgeous. God...I'll send you a picture of Monkey so you can see for yourself. I swear he looks like Zack! I'll talk to you later though. Goodnight Piper. Love you. Tell M I said goodnight and that it was really nice to finally meet him..." I said. "Night girl, I love you too. And I'll tell him, :-)" she said.

I hit reply one last time and picked a picture of my son to send to Piper. I was almost asleep when my phone went off again. "Okay, maybe he does look a little like him...I miss that little monkey! Give him kisses for me in the morning. Night. 3" she said.

I drifted off once again into a quick, peaceful sleep that was dominated by jumbled dreams about Zacky, tour, and work. I dreamed that when I told Lou I was leaving, he threw a tantrum and said he was taking my lollipops away. Funny, I know, but I swear that's what he said in the dream. I was awaken the next morning by two little hands on my face. "Mommy...Mommy...it's time to wake up." my son said. I smiled and opened my eyes to see him standing there, bright green eyes smiling back at me. "Morning buddy." I said, scooting over so he could climb on the couch with me. "Morning Mommy. Did you sleep good?" he asked. "Hmm, it was okay. I liked how I woke up much better." I replied. "Did you meet any famous people last night? Did you get their autographs for me?" he asked. Being that my strip club was in Long Beach, sometimes celebrities popped in. When they did, I generally tried to get him a picture or autograph. "Oh yeah, there was a couple...but uh...I didn't get you an autograph. I'm sorry. I'll see them again next week though." I told him. "Okay. Who was it?" he asked. "Just a couple of people from a band." I told him, getting up off the couch. "Oh okay. Mommy...can we have candy for breakfast?" he asked. "I don't think so. How about I make us eggs and toast?" I suggested. "Okay. Can I help?" he asked, dragging his deathbat blanket behind him. "Yes, you can. Take out four pieces of bread for the toast." I said, handing him the bag of bread. He counted out four slices and stuck them in the toaster, pushed the button down and watched me make our eggs. We sat down at the coffee table to eat. "Oh, guess what. Mommy got a new job, and I have to travel a lot for it. You get to go with me. We're going to ride on a bus, and we'll be gone for a while." I told him. "What kind of bus? A school bus?" he asked. "Um, no, not a school bus. It's a tour bus." I explained. "Oh. Like Avenged Sevenfold rides on?" he asked. "Yes, just like that." I said. "Are we going on tour?" he replied. "Actually, we are."

Zacky POV-

I had a new kind of pre-tour butterflies as I loaded my luggage into the bus. "Welcome back to the Batmobile." Matt said, taking one of my guitar cases from me as I climbed the steps. "Oh Batmobile, how I have missed thee...sike." I said, sitting on the couch next to Piper. She had an acoustic guitar across her lap, strumming, looking off into space. "Hey Zacky," she said, still staring off. "Hey Piper. So, where's the stripper bus?" I asked. "If you're asking when you're going to get to see Detta, the answer is at the show. They've got my old bus, and the last I heard, they had just gotten there...so, I'd say probably forty minutes or so, depending on traffic." she told me. I couldn't help but smile. It had been two weeks, and Detta hadn't left my mind. She was with me every waking hour, she was even in my dreams. I hoped seeing her again would help. I spent the forty minute ride to Long Beach in silence, staring out the window at the road. It would be weeks before we came back home, six weeks to be exact. The tour dates for Uproar seemed to be on a random shuffle. When we finally got to the venue, I stepped off the bus for a bit of fresh air...and to look for Detta. I knew she was around somewhere. "Zacky!" I heard. My head snapped up to see Detta standing by the girls' bus, her long hair was curled, the sun hitting the purple streaks so that they really stood out. She had on a black Vengeance University shirt and ripped jeans. I couldn't help but smile at the fact that my name was across her chest. "ZACKY! Get over here. RIGHT. NOW." she said. I was a bit taken aback, but nonetheless, walked toward her, hands in pockets as I stared at my feet while I walked. A smaller set of feet rushed past me. It was probably Johnny running to either catering or the stripper bus to scope out the girls. "Short ass motherfucker," I thought to myself. "What did I tell you?" Detta's voice said as I got closer to her. I looked up at her, stung. I had no idea what the hell I'd done to piss her off. "I..." I started to reply, but stopped. She wasn't talking to me. The smaller set of feet hadn't belonged to Johnny. There was a little boy standing in front of Vendetta, holding a pen and paper. "Sorry, Mommy." he said. "Just don't be running around here like that, okay? You could get hurt or lost. Mommy would be really sad if something happened to you. Stay on our bus or right around it, okay? Don't go running off," she said to him. Seeing her with her son made me like her even more. He looked to be probably three or four, with dark brown hair. He came up to about her waist, and he had her hat from a few nights before on his head. "Hey Detta," I said, taking another step toward her. She looked up from her son and smiled at me. "Hey. How are you?" she asked. "Oh I'm good. You?" I replied. She nodded and smiled. "Good. Trying to keep lil' man here from getting ran over by a tour bus. He's just really excited. With my taste in music, he's into all the bands that are playing, so he wants to go bus to bus and meet everyone. I told him to wait, but he just couldn't contain himself," she said. "I see. I can help him meet some people." I told her, kneeling down beside him, "Hey lil man." The boy turned to face me and his eyes lit up. "You're Zacky Vengeance!" he said. I couldn't help but laugh. "Yes I am. What's your name?" I asked him. "Zacky." he replied. "Zacky what?" I asked, pulling off my sunglasses so I could see him better. His eyes were the same shade of green as mine. "Zachary Michael Holmes...but my mommy calls me Zacky." he told me. I looked up to Vendetta, who nodded. "He speaks the truth." she said. "That's cool, we have the same name. Do you wanna go meet M. Shadows?" I asked him. He nodded, grinning. "And Synyster Gates and Johnny Christ?" he asked me. "Yeah, little buddy. Come on," I said, reaching for his hand. "Just...don't take him too far, okay?" Detta said. "Don't worry, I'm just gonna take him to our bus. I'll bring him right back. Promise. He's safe with me."

I took Little Zacky by the hand and led him to the Batmobile.

Detta POV-

I watched Zacky walk hand in hand with my son toward the Avenged bus. Matt and Piper had just stepped off, and met the two Zackys halfway. M picked him up and talked to him, and I couldn't help but smile. I wished I had my camera to take pictures, but I was certain there would be more opportunities for photos. M put my son down and Zacky took him onto the bus. Matt and Piper walked toward me, hand in hand, both smiling. I could tell by the way Matt interacted with my son that someday he would be a great father. Matt had on a black and white plaid button up shirt, black Dickies, and his trademark Aviator shades, bandana, and backwards cap. He let go of her hand and wrapped an arm around her shoulders, pulling her closer to him and kissing her cheek. "Hey girl." Piper said, pulling away from Matt and giving me a hug. "Hey...hey M." I said, waving. "Hey." he replied, smiling. "I saw Zack met Zacky. Was he excited?" Piper asked. "Hmm? Oh...yeah, he was...and Zacky was really sweet with lil' man..." I replied, staring past their shoulders, waiting for them to come off the Avenged bus. It wasn't that I didn't trust Zacky, I was just really protective over my son. "If you need anything you let us know. Are the other girls bitching about you having Little Zacky with you?" Piper asked. I shook my head. "No, they've been really nice," I replied, sitting down on the picnic table. "Good. If anyone gives you a problem, like Piper said, let us know, okay?" Matt said. I nodded and smiled up at him. He was great looking, really sweet, and he loved Piper. As far as I was concerned, he had my official stamp of approval. I looked past them and saw Zacky and Zacky walking off the Avenged bus, still hand in hand. "It's gonna get confusing with two Zacky's around here." I said. "Should've thought about that whenever you named your kid ZACKY!" Piper retorted. "Oh shut up, Piper." I said, sticking my tongue out at her. "You love me." she answered. "Mhm. Shut up." I said, giving her the finger. "You could just call Zacky...big Zacky...Zack. I do. It'd be less confusing that way." Matt suggested. "Good idea." I said, taking a drag from my cigarette before tossing it to the ground and sliding off the table, stomping the cigarette out as my son let go of Zack's hand and ran toward me. I knelt down and held my arms out to him. He ran to me and hugged me, placing a kiss on my cheek. "Mommy, Zacky took me to meet Syn, and Johnny, and I saw Abe." he told me. "Really? Were they nice?" I asked him. He nodded and smiled. "Yep, Syn said he's gonna teach me how to play guitar, but I told him I already knew how to play Guitar Hero on hard. He didn't believe me. So later, we're gonna have a battle." Zacky said. I laughed and kissed his forehead. "I love you, baby." I replied. "I love you too, Mommy. I'm gonna go practice." he said, skipping off toward the bus. "He's cute." Zacky said. I stood up and smiled at him. Even through the tint of my sunglasses, I could see the brightness of his eyes. "Thanks...and thank you for taking him to meet the guys. That was really sweet of you." I said. "Oh it's no problem...none at all." he answered. I hadn't even noticed Matt and Piper walk away, leaving Zack and I alone.

"So, have you ever seen us live?" Zack asked me. I couldn't help but laugh. Chris had tried to take me to see them once. I was nine months pregnant with Zacky when he did. Fifteen minutes before they hit the stage, my water broke and we had to leave, despite the fact that I begged Chris to stay just long enough that I could see them actually walk out. I resented him for a while after he literally dragged me out of the arena. "No, unfortunately...I almost did once, but uh...I kinda went into labor at the show," I replied, laughing. His eyes went wide and he laughed a bit. "No shit?" he asked. I shook my head and smiled. "None at all, I was actually really close, too...away from the pit, but I was still close enough that had we been there when you guys walked out on stage, I would've been within like...reaching distance of you," I told him. "Yeah?" he replied. I nodded and leaned back on the picnic table.

"We were so close...I was so excited. Then, the thing came on the screen and you were on there...and you were saying you guys would be out there in fifteen minutes, and my water broke. I was so upset. Everyone jokes around still that you sent me into labor," I told him, laughing. "Oh fuck, I'm sorry," he said. I shook my head. "I should be thanking you. I was so ready to have him," I said.

Zacky POV-

Vendetta and I sat on that picnic table for nearly three hours, talking. I found out that she was raised just outside of Long Beach, if you could call it being raised. Her mom and dad never really cared about her and she moved out when she was eighteen and after she finished high school, started working in a club as a waitress. She eventually saved up enough money to move out, and when she was twenty-two, she had her son, Zachary, named after me. That's when she started stripping, so she would make more money so that she could support herself and her baby. We were her favorite band, and for some reason, she said, she had always found herself most attracted to me. She said she 'just felt like we would get along', and at this point, it seemed like she was right. "Zacky! We got soundcheck! Come on, motherfucker!" Syn called, leaning out of the bus. "Well, I gotta go. I'll talk to you later though, I'm sure." I said. "Shit, I've gotta get ready, too. We've gotta do a run through of 'Scream' with you guys." Detta said, hopping down off the table. "Alright girl well I'll see you out there." I said, holding my arm out to her. She hesitated, but leaned into me and hugged me anyway. I smiled to myself and walked back to the bus, my hands in my pockets. "What the fuck are you cheesing about, Zack?" Syn asked me. "Nothin', man. Let's go." I replied. Johnny followed us and we went to the sound check stage where Matt, Piper, and Abe were waiting. We ran through the first round of soundcheck before the five strippers came in. Well, I suppose there were five of them. I, of course, couldn't keep my eyes off of Detta. She was dressed just like she had been the other night; just like me. "You girls ready?" Matt asked them. They all nodded and Detta smiled at me. I waved back at her as Abe counted us in and we started the song. The girls wound up on the floor behind us dancing. On our actual set, they'd have poles, but for now, they just had to pretend. We wrapped up after that and started walking back to the bus to get changed for the actual show. "Zacky!" a female voice came from behind me. Detta was running as fast as she possibly could in her platform boots toward me. "Hey." I said, stopping to wait for her. "Hey, I have an idea for tonight...just go with it, okay? Just...follow my lead." she told me. I nodded. "Alright, cool." I replied, falling into step with her. We walked back toward the buses together, silent. "I'll see you on stage." she told me, smiling. I waved goodbye to her and climbed the steps of the Batmobile to get ready for the show. "Zacky...can you come here for a second?" Piper called from the back of the bus. "Yeah." I replied, walking past the other guys and standing in the doorway of the back bedroom. "So...you and Detta talked a while." she said. "Yeah..." I replied, leaning against the doorframe, crossing my arms. "Don't hurt her, Zacky."

Detta POV-

I was shaking like it was my first time dancing ever. I had been doing this for years, but never in front of this many people. There were at least thirty thousand people out there, all chanting A7X. Scream was the encore song, and it was next. The band was wrapping up their 'last' song, and I was absolutely petrified. Part of me wanted to chicken out with the thing I'd told Zacky to just go with earlier, but I was certain that once I got it over with the first time, I wouldn't be so nervous and it'd get easier as the tour went on. "I feel like I'm gonna throw up," Cassidy said. She was the dancer that was supposed to dance with Matt. "Don't do that," I said. "I'm going to. Here. Hold this," she instructed, taking off her hat, glasses, and bandana. She ran off and disappeared around the corner as the guys and Piper stood on the steps, waiting for the crowd to start chanting. "Piper!" I hissed. She turned around and looked at me. "What?" she asked. "Come here. Hurry!" I said. She jumped down the steps and walked over to me. "What's up?" she replied. "Cassidy bailed. She got sick. We need a fifth dancer." I told her, holding out the hat, bandana, and glasses. She smiled and took them from me and stood back at the bottom of the steps. The guys climbed up and walked back out on stage to the deafening roar of the crowd. I plugged my ears in preparation for Piper's scream. She always had the loudest scream I had ever heard. The guitar riffs began and we all rushed up the steps, taking our places on stage. I don't think Matt had even realized that Piper wasn't in her usual spot. She was on stage, standing in the center of the rest of us, dancing on the pole like she'd been doing it all her life.

Zacky POV-

It wasn't long after the song started when I felt her hand on my shoulder. I looked to the side and smiled when I saw Vendetta, dressed like me once again, smiling at me. My brain had been racing all night, trying to figure out what the fuck it was she was going to do. This was it, whatever she had in mind and I was almost positive I wasn't prepared. She danced around me once and then dropped to her knees in front of me. _Oh fuck,_ I thought. Nope, definitely not prepared. Thoughts were now crossing my mind that shouldn't be. Really vulgar, lewd, pornographic, sexual thoughts about Vendetta. Her hands on my belt didn't help at all. In fact, they made the thoughts much stronger. So strong that I could envision things. I was thankful that this was the last song of the night. After this, I wouldn't be able to go on. I needed a cold shower. Before I knew it, I was on my knees, Vendetta beneath me, her hands on my thighs. I looked to the left, biting down on my lip. Syn laughed at me and continued playing. He was no help, none at all. Matt's dancer was way up on him, I expected her to be gone after tonight, or for Piper to beat her ass. I looked back down and Vendetta as the song ended and finally took a breath. Nothing could have prepared me for that. I stood back up and we waved goodbye to the crowd. I handed my guitar to the roadie and took off for the shower. I grabbed a beer from catering on the way and popped the top off, drinking about half of it in one swallow. "Zacky!" a voice came from behind me. I turned around to see Vendetta, holding her shoes, running up to me. "Are you okay? Did I do something wrong? Your wife isn't going to be pissed is she?" she asked. I laughed and shook my head. "No, nothing's wrong. I'm actually in the process of a divorce right now. I was just headed to the shower." I told her. "Oh. Okay...well, afterward, if you wanna come hang out, that's cool. The other girls were gonna go out with some of the guys from some of the other bands...so it's just me and Little Zacky on the bus." she offered. I nodded and took a drink of my beer. "Sounds cool. I'll see you in a bit." I replied. She was smiling when she walked away. That one look alone could've brought me to my knees again. She was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen.

Detta POV-

I climbed the bus, my face hurting from smiling. Little Zacky was sitting on the couch, watching cartoons, wide awake. The rest of the girls were grabbing clothes and heading into the back room...my room, to change. "Hi Mommy." Zacky said, popping a Cheeto into his mouth. "Hey buddy!" I said, sitting next to him. "Where are they all going?" he asked me. "They're going out. It's just gonna be me and you. Zacky may stop by and see us, and maybe Aunt Piper and Matt...but other than that, it's just a Mommy and Zacky kind of night...you still have a couple of hours until bedtime," I told him. "Zacky's coming over?" he asked, his eyes wide. "Yep!" I replied, wrapping an arm around him. "I hope he does...I like him." he said, nodding. I sighed and smiled. I did, too, a lot more than I realized before. The girls slowly filed out of the bus, scantidly clad and wearing entirely too much perfume. "I'm gonna go change clothes. If anyone comes in, come get me..." I told my son. He nodded, his eyes still glued to the screen. I dug in my suitcase for something comfortable to change into. I finally settled on my Avenged Sevenfold tank top and a pair of black pajama pants. I took them into the tiny bathroom with me and began peeling off my costume. I washed all the makeup off my face and brushed my hair back into a long ponytail. A tiny knock came at the door just as I was pulling my pants on. Little Zacky opened the door before I was ready. "Zachary!" I said, hurriedly covering my breasts. "Mommy, Zacky's here." he said, walking away. I looked up to see Zacky standing in the bus, smiling down at little Zacky. "Oh hey, Zack...just give me a second, okay? Sorry." I said, grabbing my tank top off the sink. I pulled it over my head and walked out of the bathroom. "Sorry." I apologized once more. "It's cool. Little man let me in. He said you were getting changed." he said, taking a drink of water. "Yeah, I had to get out of those clothes. They're not exactly comfortable." I explained. "I can sympathize." he replied. He had changed as well; he was now in a pair of jeans and a plaid shirt, halfway unbuttoned, revealing the green deathbat on his chest, which made his eyes seem even brighter than usual. "I was gonna order us a pizza...do you want some?" I offered. "Yeah, that's cool." he replied, sitting on the couch next to Little Zacky. My heart skipped a beat as my son climbed up into his lap.

Zacky POV-

Two hours later, Little Zacky was asleep in my lap and his mom and I were still talking. Talking about everything, about nothing. The pizza had gotten cold, but it didn't matter. I could care less about eating at that time. I was more focused on keeping that beautiful smile on Vendetta's face. "So your name really is Vendetta?" I asked her. "Yep, Vendetta...my grandparents were from Italy...all four of them. So I'm FBI." she replied. "Full blooded Italian?" I asked. She laughed and nodded. "Yep, full blooded Italian. It shows, too. I have a short temper and whenever I get mad, I start talking like a Soprano." she said, reaching out, rubbing her son's arm. "What was his dad?" I asked. She stopped rubbing his arm and her smile faded. I damned myself. I had obviously struck a bad chord within her. "I'm not really sure," she replied, staring out the window. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have asked," I said. She turned and looked back at me, her brown eyes sparkling. "It's okay, Zacky...don't worry about it," I nodded and looked down at her son. His head was on my chest, he was sound asleep. "He never takes to strangers like he has with you." she told me. "Really?" I asked. "Never...it amazes me. You're really good with him." she said. "He's a sweet kid." I told her. "He really is. He's so funny. Some nights, I'll catch him in his room, watching the LBC DVD, holding his little guitar, trying to imitate you. It's adorable." she said. "That's something I'd love to see." I replied, moving my arm so I would be a bit more comfortable. "Oh God, I'm sorry. Do you want me to put him in his bed? I'm sorry." she apologized. "If you want to, yeah. He's okay, though." I replied. "No, no, I am so sorry. He can get really heavy when he's sleeping. I'll be right back." she told me, picking him up off my lap. He stirred a bit, wrapping his arms around his mom's neck, legs around her waist. I stood up to stretch and watched her as she carried him into the back room, laid him on the bed, and placed a kiss on his forehead. He woke up when she did, and I could hear him talking softly to her. I walked slowly toward the open door to get a better look. I couldn't resist. She was telling him goodnight when I got to the door.

Detta POV-

I turned around from putting my son to bed and walked into a human wall. "Sorry," he whispered. I swallowed and shook my head, my hands still on his chest. "It's okay," I whispered back. His lips on mine left me absolutely breathless. My knees nearly buckled. I grabbed onto his shirt to keep from falling. He pulled back and turned away. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done that," he said. I pulled on his shirt, pulling him closer to me, reached up, and gently pulled his face to mine, locking lips with him once more. I wrapped my hands around his neck, interlacing my fingers, deepening, intensifying our kiss. I hadn't been kissed like that in years. The bus doors opened, causing us to pull apart once more. "Knock knock..." Piper's voice came. I didn't let go of Zacky. I didn't want to. "Zack, what are you doing over here, man?" Matt asked. Zacky smiled and reached up, pulling my hands away from his neck. "Nothin' man, just hanging out with Detta and her little man. What's up?" he said, turning away from me. "Well, we gotta go do this radio interview dude. Come on." Matt said. "Alright...I'm coming. Go on, I'll catch up," Zacky told Matt. "I'll be right back, Piper," I said. She smiled and nodded, changing the channel on the TV. "If you want you can come back after you're done." I told him. The night air was cool, the sky clear, stars littering the sky like diamonds. "I'll see you in a little bit then." he replied, kissing my cheek. I held onto his hand for a moment before allowing him to walk away. I watched him run to catch up to Matt, who was way ahead by that time. I climbed the steps to the bus and sat down on the couch next to Piper, grabbing the pillow Zacky had been leaning on and holding it my lap. It was a habit I'd had for as long as I could remember. "You still hold a pillow when you sit on the couch..." Piper commented. "Yep." I replied, my eyes on the TV. I hoped she hadn't noticed anything when she got onto the bus earlier. It wasn't that I wanted to hide anything from her, but I just didn't want to be lectured. She knew Zacky way better than I did, and as my protective best friend, I feared her finding a reason for us to not be together. "Is that my shirt?" she asked. "No, this one's mine. Yours is in my bag, I'll give it to you." I replied. "How was that kiss?" I closed my eyes, feeling myself blush. "Um...what kiss?" I asked. "Oh come on, Detta. Don't play dumb. You kissed Zacky, I saw it." she said, pushing on my arm playfully. I looked at her, blushing. "I was hoping you wouldn't see that," I confessed. "Why?" she asked. "I don't know. Because of this. It's not that I want to hide it...I just don't want it getting out and around yet, you know? I'm scared, Piper. I like him, a lot, and I'm just so scared to get hurt. Little Zacky's already attached to him. You should have seen them." I told her. Piper turned off the TV and turned to face me. "Detta, Zacky is one of the best guys I know. I love him to death. He won't hurt you...it's okay. You've been crazy about him for years, and now you have a chance to get to know him. You'll love him even more, Detta. I promise." she told me. I wanted to believe her, I really did, but I was afraid to. "Mommy...where's Zacky?" my son's voice came from the hallway. "He had to go do an interview, Baby. Come here." I said. He climbed up in my lap and snuggled up to me. I looked to Piper helplessly. "Just take the chance you've been given, Vendetta...you won't regret it."

Zacky POV-

Matt and I walked silently back to the dancers' bus in the dark. I climbed aboard first and found Piper and Vendetta, with her son on her lap, in a deep conversation that came to a halt when Matt and I walked in. "You don't have to stop talking just because we're here." Matt said, kissing Piper. "It's okay. It was just girl talk. I need to get him back into bed, anyway." Vendetta said, pointing to the sleeping child. "I'll put him in bed." I said. She smiled up at me and allowed me to lift him up out of her lap. "Thanks Zack..." she replied softly. I nodded and carried him back to the bedroom with ease. I laid him down gently, pulling the cover over him and headed for the door. "Goodnight, Zacky Vengeance," the little boy said. "Good night, little buddy," I replied, pulling the door nearly closed behind me. Matt and Piper were standing, hand in hand, getting ready to go. "We'll see you later girl. And just remember what I said, okay?" Piper said to Detta, who nodded. She was really, truly beautiful, with her olive skin and brown eyes. "Night you guys," Matt said, leading Piper off the bus. Detta and I both bade them goodnight. I stood, leaning against the wall in the hallway, my eyes locked on Vendetta. She turned to me as the bus door shut and smiled. "You can sit down, you know. I won't bite...and I doubt the other girls will be back any time soon. You can stay as long as you like," she said. I sat down next to her and laid my arm across the back of the couch. Detta leaned in and kissed my lips softly. "Sorry. I just wanted to finish what we started earlier," she whispered, her lips still centimeters from mine. "Why are you apologizing?" I asked her. "I have no idea, honestly," she replied. She pulled away, leaning against the arm of the couch. I took her hand in mine and pulled gently. "Come here," I coaxed. She leaned into me, her head on my chest, arms wrapped around my waist.

Detta POV-

I don't remember the rest of the girls coming in. I just remember Zacky waking me up and walking me to the bedroom door before kissing me goodnight. Why were things moving so fast with him? I wasn't sure, but I sure as hell didn't mind it. I crawled into bed with my son and drifted off into a dream-filled sleep. I woke up to the sound of four female voices that I was starting to despise, and I had only been around them for a day. I rolled out of bed and walked into the main part of the bus. The girls all grew silent, meaning they had been talking about me. "Oh don't stop. I'd love to know what you all have to say about me." I said, turning the coffee pot on. They were all silent before one of them spoke. "We just don't see how it's fair that you get to sleep in the big bed in the back. I mean, you and your kid could sleep in bunks. What makes you so special that you get the back room?" she asked. I gritted my teeth. It was too early in the morning for this bullshit. Luckily, I was saved by the opening of the bus door and the appearance of my best friend. "What's going on?" she asked. "The ladies and I were all discussing how unfair it is that she gets the back room. There are five of us, plus her son. There are eight bunks. Why should she get special treatment just because she knows you?" she said to Piper. Big mistake, I thought. "You wanna know why? Because it's her bus. She didn't have to let you girls ride with her. She could've made you all provide your own transportation, or ride in a van with no air-conditioning. How would you have liked that? I suggest you all quit bitching or start packing. There is no sense in childish drama. We're all adults here." Piper told them. I loved my best friend. I really, really did. The bus wasn't really mine, it was hers, but since we were so close, she naturally defended me. They all nodded and disbanded, filing off the bus to go get breakfast. "Thank you, Piper." I said quietly, taking a coffee mug out of the cabinet and the creamer out of the refrigerator. "No problem, honey. I love you. Don't let them get to you." she told me. "I'm not. I just woke up to their shit. Fucking bitches." I said, taking a sip of my hot coffee. I sat down at the table and took another drink. "So how was last night?" Piper asked, sitting across from me. "Good. We had a nice time, just talking...I don't even remember falling asleep. Zacky put little Zacky to bed and...wait a second. Where's Zacky? My Zacky. My son. Where is he?" I asked, jumping up, frantically searching the bus for him. "He's not here?" Piper asked, standing behind me. "No. God. Oh no. Zacky!" I called, pushing the bus door open, stepping out into the Arizona sun.

Zacky POV-

I saw Vendetta ahead, looking upset. "Look buddy. There's your mom." I told the toddler, holding tight to his hand. "Zacky!" Vendetta's voice called. She ran in our direction, visibly upset. "Shit." I muttered. I guessed she hadn't seen the note and Piper hadn't told her where we were yet, and neither had the girls that rode with her, though they seemed that they didn't like her much anyway. I couldn't understand why. "Morning, Mommy." the little boy said, smiling up at his mom. She wiped a tear from her face, kneeling down and hugging her son. "I'm sorry, Detta. I told Piper to tell you, and the girls on the bus..." I apologized to her as she stood up. She shook her head. "No, it's okay. Piper came on the bus and the girls were giving me shit, she probably forgot to tell me. It's okay. He was with you, I'm not worried. It just scared me, realizing he wasn't there," she said. I nodded. "I understand, and I am sorry. I woke up and he was climbing on the counter to look for cereal so I took him across the street to McDonalds and bought him something to eat," I explained. She smiled warmly at me, warmer than the sun that was beating down on my bare arms. "It's okay, Zacky. Did you sleep on our bus?" she asked. "Yeah, I guess we fell asleep on the couch...and by the time I woke up, we were already rolling...so I just slept on the couch." I answered, walking beside her, still holding to Little Zack's hand. "Oh...I'm sorry," she said. I put an arm around her shoulder and kissed her temple. "Don't be," I whispered. I sure as hell wasn't sorry. Things were moving quickly with her, but it was fine by me. I didn't want to scare her away, but she didn't seem to be afraid at all. She wrapped an arm around my waist as we walked up to her bus, Piper standing outside it, on the phone. "I'll be there in a minute. He's fine. He was with Zacky. I'm an idiot." she said, ending the call. "You forgot to tell her?" I asked. She ran her hands over her head. "I'm sorry, Zacky, I really am. I got on here and those bitches were giving her shit about sleeping in the back room...I really am sorry. I'm an idiot." Piper replied. I shook my head, smiling. "It's okay, Piper. I'm just fu-messing with you," I said. "Okay, well, once again, I apologize. Detta, I'm sorry. I was supposed to tell you that Zacky took Zacky to get food. He left you a note, just in case I wasn't around when you woke up.. forgive me, please. I love you all, but I have got to go get something to eat. I'm starving," Piper said, before running off to the band bus. "I guess I better get over there myself. We've got sound check in a bit. But I'll see you later," I said to Detta. She poked her bottom lip out at me. "But I don't want you to go. I kinda enjoy you being around." she said. I smiled and kissed her forehead. I didn't plan on leaving her for quite a while.

Detta POV-

I watched Zacky climb back onto his bus before boarding mine again. "Mommy, were you scared cause you didn't know where I was?" my son asked. I smiled, sitting down next to him. "Yeah, I was. It's okay, though, I know you were safe with Zacky." I replied. "Is he your boyfriend?" he asked me. "Um...well..." I started. How do you explain to a four year old that you don't really know what you are, not at that point, anyway. You were friends who kissed, hugged, and couldn't take your eyes off of one another? No, that wouldn't do. Luckily, I didn't have to say anything. A knock came at the door before it opened. Syn then appeared on the steps. "Hey...you ready for that Guitar Hero tournament, little man?" he asked. Zacky's eyes lit up, he sprang from his seat, and ran to the back room to get his guitar. "Let's do it," he replied, jumping into Syn's arms. "Alright. We'll bring him back in a little bit," Syn said. "I thought you guys had soundcheck?" I asked. "We do, but not yet. They're having some kind of difficulties," he explained, shrugging. I nodded and once they were gone, headed to the back room to change clothes. I tripped over a bag on the way, knocking it over, spilling its contents. "Fuck," I said aloud, bending down to clean up my mess. I put the contents back in the bag, stopping when I came to a bag of white powder. My jaw dropped and I immediately walked away from the rest of the mess, grabbing my phone from the table by the bed. With shaking hands, I dialed Piper's number. "Hello?" her voice came. "Piper, I need you to come over here. Bring Matt with you. We've got a problem."

I quickly changed clothes before Matt and Piper arrived. I hoped they would get back before the other girls did. I wasn't going to have this shit going on around my son, there was no way. I wanted whoever it was gone, if not them, I was leaving. I hated to do it, but something had to give. I stepped out into the hallway, over the mess, and into the lounge where Matt and Piper were standing. "What's going on?" Matt asked. "Come here," I replied, turning back to the hallway. I showed them both the bag. "Whose bag is it?" Matt asked. He was pissed, I could tell. Piper was, too. "I'm not sure...I just came across that and freaked," I answered. "Is there a wallet in the bag?" Matt asked. "Yeah, I think so," I said. "See whose it is. Whoever's bag that is needs to pack their fucking shit. They're gone." he replied, jaw clenched. I dug into the bag for the wallet, pulled it out and unfolded it. "Cassidy." I stated. "Where is she?" Matt asked. "She went to go get something to eat, I guess." I answered. "Well, we'll wait here for her. I'll let her know the deal when she gets back. Thanks for calling, Detta." he said. I nodded, not sure what to say. Matt and Piper sat down and waited for Cassidy to come back.

Zacky POV-

"You ready to go back to your mom?" I asked Little Zacky. We had finished playing Guitar Hero and I wanted to see Vendetta again. She was like a drug to me, a strong one at that. I couldn't get enough of her. It had only been two hours since I'd seen her and I was already needed another fix. I just simply couldn't stay away. She was already standing outside the bus when we walked up, smoking. "Hey," she said, a hand over her eyes. "Hi Mommy," Zacky said, hugging her around the waist. "Hey Monkey. Did you have fun?" she asked him. He nodded eagerly, smiling. "Where's Aunt Piper?" he asked. "She's on the bus. Don't go on yet, though, she's talking to one of the other girls. Stay out here," she instructed. "Okay," he replied, leaning against the bus between the two of us. We were all silent. The bickering from the inside of the bus was barely audible, but it was clear that Piper was ripping the stripper a new one. "Zacky...is my mommy your girlfriend?" Zacky asked me, pulling on my hand. I didn't really know what to say. Did I want her to be? Hell yes. Did she want to be my girlfriend? There was only one way to find out. "Well, that's up to your mom. I think it would be pretty sweet if she was. What do you think?" I replied, kneeling down to his level. "I think she should be," he said, nodding. "Is that so?" Detta asked, leaning down. He looked up at her, still smiling, and nodded once more. She looked to him and then back to me, a smile pulling at the corners of her mouth. She kissed my lips softly before kissing her son's forehead. What kind of answer was that? "Does that mean yes?" Little Zacky asked. Detta laughed, leaning back against the bus again. "I guess so," she replied. I stood back up and leaned against the bus next to her. "Then do boyfriend and girlfriend stuff," he told us. I laughed then, pushing my sunglasses back up my nose. "What do you mean?" I asked him. "Hold hands," he said, pushing our hands together. I took her hand into mine, interlacing our fingers. "Like that?" I asked him. "Yeah. Now kiss again," he said. "Kiss?" we both asked. "Yes. Then you will really be boyfriend and girlfriend in real life," he answered. I smirked and looked to Detta, who smiled back. I leaned over and kissed her full, soft lips. "Aww sookie...what's going on here?"

Detta POV-

I couldn't help but laugh beneath Zacky's kiss when Matt said "Aww sookie." It just amused me way too much. Zacky pulled away and licked his lips. Piper elbowed me and smiled...I blushed. "Told you so," she said. I stuck my tongue out at her and took Zacky's other hand into mine. I didn't want to let him go, not now, not ever. "What's that supposed to mean?" Matt asked Piper. "Nothing." we both replied. "That means something." Matt said, looking at Zacky. He nodded and pulled me closer to him, wrapping his arms around me. "You wanna go do something tonight?" he asked. I looked down at Little Zacky and back up at him. "I can't. I've got no one to watch him." I replied, jerking my head in his direction. "What about the lady that watches him while you're on stage?" he asked. I shook my head. "She says she only watches him when I'm on stage, that's it, otherwise she's busy. I have no one." I said. "Umm. Hello? Auntie Piper here." Piper said, waving her hand between Zacky's face and mine. I looked over at her, a smile pulling at the corners of my mouth. "Are you sure?" I asked. "Of course...you two should go do something. Spend a little time together. Alone." she said, smirking. "And just what are you suggesting by that?" I asked, pulling away from Zacky, my hands on my hips. "That you need to go somewhere, alone, without a child or anyone else tagging along. You two spend some time together. If it's too late when you get in, he can sleep on our bus and you can come get him in the morning. It's no big deal. Now...go get him some clothes and toys and whatever he needs. The show got postponed til tomorrow anyway because of all the audio problems...so go." she told me. I looked to Zacky, who shrugged, then to Matt, who was staring off into space. He knew better than to contradict Piper, as did I. I let go of Zacky's hands and walked up the steps to the bus.

Zacky POV-

I hadn't been on a date in years. I felt like a girl rummaging through my suitcase to find something to wear. I ended up in a pair of white jeans and a plain white button up, nothing too fancy, and not too casual. I was grateful for the audio fucking up that night, and I was looking forward to alone time with Vendetta. It wasn't that I minded her son being around all the time, I was falling in love with the kid as fast as I was falling for his mother, but I needed to get her alone, so I could read deeper into her and find out what she was really all about. We had talked for hours and hours, but I still didn't know enough about her. I grabbed my wallet and hat and jumped down the bus steps onto the pavement. I was positive Detta wasn't ready yet, but I didn't mind waiting for her. Matt was tossing a baseball to little Zacky outside of the girls' bus when I walked up. "She isn't ready yet is she?" I asked. "I doubt it man. She pulled Piper on there to help her find something to wear. What took you so long?" Matt asked. I shrugged, not wanting to explain that it took me half an hour to pick something to wear. I'd never hear the end of it that way.

Detta POV-

"I don't know which one to wear." I said, holding up two dresses. One was a black knee length satin and lace cocktail dress and one was a red plaid corset dress. "The plaid one." my best friend said after a moment of pondering. "Are you sure?" I asked. She looked out the bus window and back at me. "Definitely." she replied. "And shoes?" I asked, holding up two different pair, a pair of black flats and a pair of black stilettos. Piper looked back and forth between both pair of shoes and wrinkled her nose. "What about the ones you're wearing?" she asked. I looked down at my feet. I had on my old beat up black high top Converse. "With that dress?" I replied. She nodded. "You said you want to get away from your stripper look tonight, Detta. Wear the ones you're wearing." she told me. I stripped down out of my jeans and tank top and pulled my bra off. I stepped into the dress and pulled my shoes back on while still trying to hold the dress up. "Piper..." I said pleadingly. "Come here." I backed up and lifted my hair with one hand while trying to hold the dress up with the other. She zipped the dress up and I let my hair fall back down my back and turned around to face her. "I look okay?" I asked. "What are you doing with your hair?" she replied. "I don't know." I said. "Come here. Sit down." she instructed, pulling a chair out. I sat down and waited rather impatiently for her to return. She brushed the front section of my hair down into my face and began braiding and twisting the sides, pulling them up into a twisted ponytail, spiking up some of the shorter pieces. She pulled the front section across and twisted it, showing the purple streaks that laid beneath my naturally black locks, and pinned it back in true pin-up fashion. "There." she said, handing me a mirror. "You are amazing." I told her. "Thank you, my dear. Now...you are ready to go. You may want to take your ID in case you go to a club or a bar, though...other than that I think you're good to go. We'll have Zacky, but if we need you we'll call. I love you. Have fun." she said, hugging me. I grabbed my purse off the table and descended the steps, pushing the bus door open.

Zacky POV-

I couldn't help but to smile when I saw Detta's long, dark legs stepping down off the bus. She was all legs...well, not all legs. She had a great rack on her too. Of course she did, she was a stripper. I hadn't noticed that until quite recently. Shut up, Zack, I told myself. "You look amazing." I told her as she walked closer to me. She smiled and blushed, allowing me to take her hands into mine. I kissed her cheek and we said goodbye to Matt, Piper, and Little Zacky before we headed to the gate where a cab was waiting for us. "I'm sorry...if I had a way to drive us around I would, but all we have is the bus." I told her. "It's fine, " she laughed, getting in and sliding across the seat as I held the door open for her. I got in behind her and shut the door. "Where to?" the cabbie asked. "Um...do you know somewhere nice I could take the lady?" I asked, leaning up. I felt like an idiot. I should've found somewhere to take her before I called the cab. Dumbass, I thought to myself. The cabbie nodded and drove ahead, toward downtown Phoenix, and I sat back next to Detta, trying to relax. She squeezed my hand and leaned her head on my arm. "You really do look gorgeous, Detta." I told her. "Thank you..." she replied, running a hand up and down my arm. I turned my head and kissed her temple, breathing in her scent. She smelled like warm sugar cookies, soft, sweet, and inviting. "This is nice...just being out with you, alone..." I told her. She nodded, not speaking, a soft smile across her lips. "You okay?" I asked. Once again, she simply nodded.

Detta POV-

It was probably forty degrees outside that night, but I didn't care. I was with one of a handful of men I trusted, and who I happened to completely be falling for. He took me out to a nice dinner and we took a walk through a nice park as the sun sank completely below the desert horizon. By the end of the night, I felt like a house, with my doors and windows wide open, and a "Welcome Zacky" banner hanging across me. There was just one tiny room full of secrets that I wasn't quite ready to hand him the key to, but I had a feeling it wouldn't be too long before he picked the lock and I was completely open and exposed, my every flaw, scar, and secret revealed. The question ravaging my mind and heart was whether or not he'd stay once that door was opened. We took a cab back to the ampitheater and walked slowly, hand in hand, back to my bus. I pulled on the handle and it opened with ease. It was dark and quiet inside, meaning one of two things-everyone was asleep or gone. "You wanna come in?" I asked Zacky, stepping up onto the bottom step of the bus. "Are you sure? It's kind of late..." he said, not letting go of my left hand. "Come on..." I said, pulling him up the steps. We snuck past the bunks so we wouldn't wake anyone who may be sleeping and shut the door. I sat on the bed and pulled my shoes off, tossing them in the corner. "I hate wearing shoes. I'd much rather be barefoot all the time." I told him, crawling on the bed toward him. He was still standing by the door, hands in his pockets, staring me down.

Zacky POV-

Detta really shouldn't have crawled on that bed the way she did. It made me want her, simply put. She was now sitting on her knees in front of me on the bed, hands folded on her lap, her eyes locked on mine. "What?" she asked. I shook myself from the vivid fantasies playing in my mind. "Nothing...sorry. I zoned out for a second." I replied, sitting down next to her. She wasted no time before locking her lips on the tattoo behind my ear. Another mistake on her part, but I didn't mind. I liked it, a little too much, but I told myself if things got heated and she said no, I'd stop. I didn't want to push her past her comfort zone. She was pushing my limits, but if she broke past them, I wouldn't complain. "Can I ask you something? It's kind of...uh...intrusive..." I asked her, my eyes closed. She pulled away from kissing my neck, breathing across the warm, wet spots where her mouth had been. "Go for it." she replied. I swallowed, my heart racing. "Are your...I know you're a stripper...so...I wondered...if...are your boobs real? Or..." I asked, staring straight ahead at the door knob. I probably sounded like an asshole right then, a really big one. Detta giggled and grabbed my hand, pulling it from my knee to her chest. "I don't know, what do you think?" she asked. "Um...I don't know..." I replied, pulling my hand away. "Zacky...don't be scared to touch me." she said, grabbing my hand again, placing it back on her chest. I turned to face her, my hand still on her chest. "I'm not afraid to touch you." I told her. "They're real. Big boobs just run in my family." she said. "I just wondered. My wife had fake tits...I mean...I shouldn't have said that." I said, moving my hand from her chest, hiding my face. How stupid could I be? "You didn't say anything wrong." she whispered in my ear. I looked up at her, forcing a half smile. "Sorry. I haven't done this in a while." I admitted. She shook her head, a piece of hair falling down, softly brushing her face. "It's okay. Neither have I." she replied. I leaned in and took her face gently in mine, pulling her in for a kiss.

Detta POV-

Zacky's tongue brushed across my lips, goosebumps rising all over my body, sending a shiver down my spine. His hands slowly moved from the sides of my face down to my bare shoulders, down my arms, pulling my trembling hands from his shirt tail, interlacing my fingers with his. I laid back, never breaking our kiss, pulling him down on top of me. He pulled away, wrapping my arms around his neck, breathless. He trailed hot kisses from my mouth down my arms, across my chest. I was becoming more and more uncomfortable. It had been a long time since a man had touched me intimately. I trusted Zacky almost completely, and there was no denying my attraction to him, but I was afraid. His fingers brushed down my arms, hips, and down my bare thighs. I twitched beneath his touch, closing my eyes, trying to block out the old memories that I hated so much. "You okay?" he asked, his eyes meeting mine. I forced a smile and nodded. "I'm fine." I replied, kissing his lips. He kissed me back gently, then his hands found my breasts again, something I had encouraged a few moments before. He kissed down my throat and down my chest once more, his hands still on my chest. I wasn't going to say no to him, partially out of fear it would drive him away, and partially out of fear of re-living my past. I closed my eyes and bit down on my bottom lip as the top of my dress slipped down. I'm sure my heartbeat was audible through my chest. It was beating erratically, my entire body now trembling with fear. Zack's touch was gentle, almost loving, and yet I was still absolutely terrified. Zacky's hands moved from my breasts down my body once more, down my thighs, and up, beneath my dress, resting on my hips, his thumbs beneath the waistband of my underwear. He gently pulled my body closer to him, my pelvis now resting against his. I kissed his neck to distract myself as he pulled my underwear off and tossed them to the side somewhere. His hands moved back up my thighs, resting them on my hips again. "You alright?" he asked, kissing me between my breasts. I nodded, unable to muster a reply. Zacky crawled backward, moving his hands down my legs as he did, his lips brushing against the inside of my left thigh. I let out a slight whimper. It felt good, but it didn't erase my fear.

Zacky POV-

Though Vendetta had said she was fine, I still felt like something was wrong about what we were doing. I just couldn't keep my hands off of her. The dirty visions that had danced across my mind earlier were coming to life, and I'd be lying if I said I wasn't enjoying it. Detta twitched beneath my touch, and something about the fact that I was turning her on turned me on. I pulled on her dress, but it wouldn't come the rest of the way down. "Come here." I said, pulling her up. She sat up and I unzipped the back of the dress with one hand while with the other, pulled her face to mine to kiss her again. She scooted back on the bed, pulling me down on top of her again. I was sure by then she had realized that I was fully aroused. My pants weren't that tight and the way I was straddling her, my crotch was grazing her stomach. "Zack...just..." she whispered. "What? What's wrong?" I asked her. If she wanted me to stop I would, I could understand why she may not be ready. She shook her head. "Nothing." she replied. I kissed her lips once more, then slid back down the bed, pushing her legs apart with my hands.

Detta POV-

I whimpered when I felt Zacky's breath against my thighs. He was ready, that was obvious. His fingers ran down my outer thigh down to my knees, back up, and up my stomach as he placed soft kisses on my hipbones, my legs sprawled to the side, leaving my entire body exposed to him. His kisses trailed from my hips onto my pelvis. I twitched and squirmed as his fingers parted the skin and slipped inside of me. "Jesus Christ..." he whispered. I knew what that was for. I had caught him off guard. I'm sure he had pinned me as your typical Long Beach stripper, loose and trashy. That wasn't the case at all. After all, it had been years since I had sex, and Little Zacky had been born by C-section. Zacky's tongue grazed my thigh and I squealed, squirming. I was relaxing a little, he wasn't going to hurt me. "That good?" he asked, pulling his fingers out. "Don't stop." I whispered. He sat up on his knees, unbuttoning his shirt, tossing it to the ground. His tattoos were distractingly beautiful, I couldn't take my eyes off of his deathbat. He resumed his previous position and I was nearly at climax, my hands tangled in his hair just as the phone rang. "Fuck." he said. "Don't stop. It's just Piper." I said, throwing the phone to the floor after checking the caller ID. She could wait. He nipped my inner thigh, kissed it, and slipped two fingers inside of me again, beckoning me from within. I grabbed two handfuls of sheet, biting my inner lip so as not to make too much noise. The other girls were asleep in their bunks and they'd hear me. "Fuck. Damn it. Zachary James. Jesus Christ." I said, my legs shaking, my breath gone as I came. Zacky kissed the scar across my stomach, crawling up toward me once more and laying a kiss on my lips. I pushed him over onto his back, straddling him, never breaking our kiss as the phone in his pocket began vibrating. "It's probably Piper." he said, pulling away. I rolled over onto my back and pushed the hair that had fallen into my face away. "Hello?" Zacky answered. "Is it Piper?" I asked. He nodded, looking at me. I rolled my eyes and sat up, opening the drawer beside the bed that held my pajamas. _Thanks Piper..._I thought, pulling on a pair of clean underwear. 

Zacky POV-

I won't lie, Piper's phone call came at the wrong time. Detta's hands were on my belt when the phone vibrated. "Are you two on the bus? Because we didn't see you come back and the lights are on in the back..." Piper said. "Yes, Piper. We are." I huffed. "Did I call at a bad time?" she asked. "No. Everything's fine. Is everything okay there? Little man alright?" I replied. "Yeah, we just wanted to make sure no one had broken into you guys' bus...or something like that." she said. "Uh huh. I'll be back over there soon. Just let me say goodnight to Detta..." I said, hanging up the phone. "Talk about a mood killer." I said, rolling out of the bed. Detta had already re-dressed, and was pulling the sheets off the bed, tossing them in the corner. "I guess I'll see you soon..." I said, walking over to her. "Tomorrow?" she asked. "Definitely. Goodnight, beautiful." I said, kissing her forehead. She grabbed me by the hand and pulled me back to her, wrapping her arms around my neck. "What's the rush?" she asked. "I uh...need to take care of something before I head back. I'll see you in the morning though." I replied, kissing her lips. "Let me get your number before you leave. I'll text you. I'm not gonna sleep for a while...I'm sure of that. Too riled up..." she said. I smirked and picked her phone up off the floor, entering my number into it before handing it back to her. "I'll see you tomorrow." she said, hugging me. "Alright. Love you." I said. I left the room before she could answer.

Detta POV-

I stood in shock, staring at the door after Zacky left. He loved me? After knowing me for two and a half weeks, he loved me? I shook my head, maybe I was hearing things. I picked up my phone and texted Piper. "Is Zacky asleep?" I asked her, putting new sheets onto the bed. It was four AM, I surely hoped Zacky was asleep. The phone vibrated, causing me to jump. "Yeah. Do you want me to wake him and bring him back or do you want to just get him later?" she replied. I was going to have a rough night, I could feel it. I was on the brink of a panic attack as it was. "Just leave him there...I'll get up before one and come get him." I texted back, crawling into the bed and laying down. "Alright girl. Big Zacky leave already?" she answered. "Yeah. About ten minutes ago. Why? Is he not back yet?"

Zacky POV-

I quietly shut the bathroom door behind me and tiptoed out of Detta's bus, making sure to lock the door before stepping out into the cool night air. The desert breeze felt good against my hot, sweaty skin. I smiled to myself when I walked past Detta's room and the light went out. Our bus was parked right behind hers, so my walk in the dark wasn't too long. I pulled open the door of our bus and ascended the steps. The front area was lit up, so someone was awake. None of those fuckers had the courtesy to leave the light on. In the words of Syn, the bus was no fucking Motel 6. "Where have you been?" Matt asked, causing me to jump. "Jesus Christ. Why does it matter? I'm grown." I replied, tossing my hat onto the table. "It's four o'clock in the fucking morning, Zack..." Matt said. "Isn't that a line from a song by The Used?" I replied. "Stop avoiding the question." he told me. "Dude I'm twenty-nine..." I said. "Matt, leave him alone." Piper's voice came from the hallway. "Thank you." I said, walking toward the hall to get into my bunk. I pulled back the curtain and saw Little Zacky laying there, knocked out, covered in his deathbat blanket. I closed the curtain back and climbed into the empty bunk above my regular one. I was so tired at that point it didn't matter where I slept. I had just dozed off when the curtain opened. "Did you have a good time?" Piper asked. "I did. Now, I'm tired. Can I please go to sleep now?" I asked, covering my face with the pillow. The curtain closed and I heard Piper giggle. "Goodnight Zacky." she said. "Goodnight Piper." I replied, closing my eyes. I didn't sleep though. My mind was running a million miles per hour. My phone vibrated against my leg, lighting up my pocket. I reached in and pulled it out, an unfamiliar number across the screen. "I enjoyed tonight." was all it said. I smiled to myself and hit reply. "Me too. Let's do it again sometime?" I sent back. "Do it?" Haha. Okay. All of it or just the date?" I blinked, I wasn't really sure how to answer that one. I rolled over and pulled open the curtain. "Matt?" I called. "What?" he replied, walking out of the bathroom, shaving cream on his face. "Come here. How the fuck am I supposed to answer this?" I asked, showing him the text. He squinted, reading. "What happened?" he asked. "I'll just ask Piper." I said, shutting the curtain back. "Oh fuck no. What happened? You know you don't want to tell Piper what happened...you leave that to Detta...you tell me..." he replied. I rolled my eyes and slid out of the bunk. This was gonna take a while.

Detta POV-

I fell asleep without a reply from Zacky. I slept really peacefully for once, without a toddler's feet in my side. I woke to the sound of a knock on the window. "Detta! Open up and let us in!" Piper's voice came. I looked over at the clock and saw that it was after noon. I hadn't planned on sleeping that late. I climbed out of bed and shuffled to the main room, opened the door, shielding my eyes against the bright sun. Little Zacky climbed the steps, bag in tow, Piper behind him. "I gotta head over to soundcheck...I'll see you on stage later." she said. I nodded and ushered my son back through the hallway and into the bedroom. "I'm gonna go change clothes and we'll get something to eat, okay?" I told him. He nodded, pulling his toys out of his bag. I grabbed a pair of ripped up jeans and a tank top out of my bag and headed to the bathroom to change. By the time we got back from eating, Zacky's tour nanny was waiting outside the bus on us. "Is it five already?" I asked her. "No, but I got told to tell you they're going on at half past three instead of five thirty." she replied dryly. I looked down at my watch. It was three-fifteen. Wonderful, that meant I had forty-five minutes to dress for the stage. I could do it, but I wouldn't have time to shower. I rolled my eyes and unlocked the bus, rushed to the back to back of the bus and grabbed my costume, quickly dressing and applying my makeup before running to the backstage area. "Sorry. Sorry. Sorry." I said to Matt and Piper. "It's okay. You're here and you haven't missed anything...where were you? Did you not get my voicemail?" Piper asked. "No..." I replied, shaking my head. "I called you like an hour ago..." she said. "I was eating with Zacky, I left my phone in my room to charge. Jesus. Well. I'm here now. Have you guys even gone on stage yet?" I asked. "Nah. Zack was worried about you though..." Matt replied. "Oh Jeez...where is he?" I pushed past them to look for Zacky. He had to be somewhere close by. I pushed past Syn, who was leaned against the wall talking to the three other girls. "Zacky." I called when I spotted him.

Zacky POV-

I heard Detta call my name and I couldn't help but smile. I turned around, pulling my sunglasses off so I could see her better. God, she was beautiful, and I was falling in love with her, faster than I had fallen in love with anyone, ever. I'd only been in love once, but still, I had never felt this way about a woman before. Detta had me from the moment we met. I couldn't keep my eyes off of her, and I didn't want to keep my hands off of her, either. It also didn't help that her son was absolutely adorable. "Hey." I replied, grabbing her hands and kissing her. "Hey. Sorry, I didn't mean to worry you...I took Zacky to get food and I came back to find out show time had been moved up. I'm sorry." she said, kissing me between sentences. "Babe...it's okay." I replied, rubbing her arms. "Let's go Zack." Matt said, nudging me as he walked past. "I'll see you in a few.' I told her, kissing her cheek before walking onto the stage.

Detta POV-

The show went by really fast that afternoon. Matt and Piper disappeared for some reason afterward, or so I heard. Zacky came back to the bus with me and we went to grab a pizza, then headed back to the venue to eat and prepare to head to the next town. We were walking around the parking lot, hand in hand, for the third time when we ran into Matt and Piper. "Hey you two. Where have ya'll been?" I asked. Piper gave me a look saying that she needed to talk to me. "Hey buddy...how about you go get on the bus and I'll be there in a few minutes after I talk to Auntie Piper...when I get back I'll start the water for your shower." I said, pushing my son toward our bus gently. "I'll go let him in." Zacky said. I followed Piper up the steps to the boys' bus and sat down, staring at her as she drank a half a bottle of water in one swallow. "What's wrong with you? And why does Matt look like the cat that ate the canary?" I asked. She shook her head, standing underneath the air vent. "He didn't eat anything. I was the one doing the eating..." she replied. I didn't get it. "Huh?" I asked, tilting my head to the side. She rolled her eyes and sat down. "I went down on Matt." she told me bluntly. A hand flew up to my mouth, eyes widening. "Oh my God. I cannot believe you did that!" I said. Piper was a virgin, and she had already given Matt a blowjob. "Why is that so hard to believe?" she asked me, sipping her water again. "Well I mean you two haven't even had sex yet and you are doing that..." I said. Piper's jaw dropped. Clearly I was missing something. "Wait...I...what? Zacky hasn't told you?" she asked. I was missing something, something very important. "Huh? You have? Why didn't you tell me?" I asked. "I just didn't think it was important for you to know." she said, shrugging. "Well of course it is! So was he good?" I asked, smiling. I was so happy for her. She blushed and nodded, walking down the steps of the bus. I got up and followed her out. Matt and Zacky had been joined by the lead singer of Bullet For My Valentine, Matt Tuck, who was telling them their bus had been broken into. I saw Piper's face go pale as she looked back and forth between the men as they chatted. I walked up behind Zacky and wrapped my arms around his waist, laying my head on his back. He placed his hands on top of mine, rubbing my fingers with his as Piper dropped her water bottle and bolted to the other side of the bus. Matt followed her, telling Tuck he'd catch him later. "I'm gonna go get Zacky ready for bed. I'll see you later." I said, letting go of the man I had named my son after, the man I was completely head over heels for, my boyfriend, my Zacky. "Alright...hey..." he said, pulling me back to him by the hand, kissing my lips softly. "I love you." he said. I smiled, kissing him back. "I love you too, Zack."

Zacky POV-

Hearing Detta say she loved me back was comforting. I had scared myself by telling her that morning, and surely had scared her, but it was the truth, I loved her. I really did. I watched her as she walked back to her bus to take care of the most precious thing in her life, her son. That kid meant the world to her, more than anyone or anything else, and they were both becoming a part of my life that I never wanted to lose.

Detta POV-

I started the water for Zacky's shower and turned on the TV in the front lounge, sitting down to finally relax. My son climbed up onto my lap a few minutes later, his pajamas on, deathbat blanket dragging behind him. While he watched TV, my mind wandered. I thought about Zacky, and how much he was beginning to mean to me. He adored my son, who absolutely loved him in return. He was sweet, and funny, and caring, and I just couldn't help but love him. He was beautiful, at least to me, and I hoped that this wouldn't be just some random romance to him. I hoped I wasn't just some girl he told that he loved to get into her pants. I was the girl who would believe him, let him in, give him every bit of me, and wind up hurt in the end. I wanted to believe that he was different. I yawned and looked up at the clock; it was only just after nine, but I was exhausted. Clearly, so was little Zacky. He had passed out, his head in my lap, one arm and one leg hanging off the couch. I got up carefully so I wouldn't wake him and repositioned him so he wouldn't fall off. He could sleep there until he woke up, whether that was the middle of the night or early in the morning. I was covering him up when Piper came in. She looked like she felt better. "Hey." I said, smiling warmly at her. "So I realize me and you haven't had much girl time in forever, so I'm going to stay hear tonight so we can, and so that Matt doesn't think he made me sick earlier, even though I am. What is there to eat on this bus?" she replied. I just stared at her. She opened the refrigerator and stared inside of it, wrinkling her nose. Yeah, that was my reaction, too. That's why I always went out to eat. Those bitches had packed the fridge with diet food. "Do these bitches eat anything with calories in it?" she asked. "No, I don't think so...but, I think there are some cookies up in the cabinet I got for me and Zacky." I told her. She opened the cabinet and pulled out the Chips Ahoy, followed by a can of Cheese Whiz. "Speaking of Zacky," she started, spraying cheese on a cookie and shoving it in her mouth, "How did yours and big Zacky's date go last night?" I stared at her, replulsed by the idea of a chocolate chip cookie coated in cheese. My best friend was fucking weird. "It looks disgusting I know, but you don't even know how great it tastes right now. Answer the question...wanna try?" she asked, offering me a cookie. I wrinkled my nose and shook my head. "Hell no. I only ate weird shit like that when I was pregnant." I told her. "What are you trying to say?" she asked. I shrugged. "That you eat like a pregnant chick. But you've always eaten weird shit. Remember that time you dipped your pizza in your chili?" I said. She nodded, eating another cookie. "That combo was the shit. You're not getting out of the question. How was your date?" she repeated. I couldn't help but blush at the thought of our date and how it had ended. "Well...see...what happened was..." I stuttered. "You didn't!" she said, gaping. "No...no, we didn't...but, we almost did." I said. I could feel that my face was the same shade of red as the Arizona sunset. "Okay, elaborate. What base did he get to?" she asked pushing her cookies aside and hopping onto the counter, staring me down. I couldn't even speak. I simply held up three fingers. Her eyes widened. "Oh my God. How the fuck did he pull that off? Did he pressure you?" she asked. I shook my head. "Oh no, it was...quite consentual." I replied, turning sideways and staring out the bus window. Zacky, Matt, and Matt Tuck were all still standing outside, talking. Zacky was so damn gorgeous. "That's code for you enjoyed it. A lot." Piper said. I smirked. I had enjoyed it a lot. More than Piper knew, more than Zacky knew, more than anyone needed to know. He was breaking down walls I had built five years before we ever met, walls I had never intended on letting anyone through. "Well…yeah. It was definitely something new…different…enjoyable." I replied, still blushing. "Which means you'll let it happen again. Speaking of which...where did this happen?" Piper asked. I looked around innocently. She'd figure it out in ten, nine, eight, seven, six... "Wait, what part of the bus, Detta?" she inquired. I pointed toward my bedroom. "The back room." I told her. She busted out laughing. "Why the fuck is that so funny?" I asked. She did her best to compose herself before responding. "Because that's where Matt and I slept together for the first time." I scrunched up my nose. So I had been sleeping in and had nearly had sex with my boyfriend in the same bed that Piper and Matt had fucked in. I loved my best friend, but that was a little...gross. "Ewww." I replied. "What? We have totally changed the sheets back there since then." she defended. "Still." I said, crossing my arms across my chest. It was awkard to think about. "Still what? It already happened now. You can't go back, there are no redos." she said, grabbing the package of cookies again. "Well what about you? I guess I can rule out romance if you lost your virginity in the back of a bus..." I conquered. Piper smiled, biting her lip. "Not exactly." she said quietly. "Okay. Dish." I demanded, leaning forward, elbows on my knees. Piper hopped down off the counter, smiling like I had never seen before.

"It was storming, and you know how much I've always been scared of storms, and how so many different people have tried to make me not afraid of them. Well, he actually did it." she smiled and blushed. "He told me to think of the thunder as Rev and Chris teaching God how to play the drums. He told me from here on out whenever it storms, to listen for the thunder and think of Rev and my brother." I reached up and wiped a tear from my eye. Okay, so that was really sweet and romantic. "Yeah so I wouldn't call it un romantic. It was romantic to me." I smiled and nodded. "Okay. That was definitely romantic." Piper sat down next to me. "I love him, Detta...I really, really do. I can see myself with him for a long time, maybe forever...there's just something about him." she said. I smiled. I knew the feeling. "I know what you mean." I said quietly, staring out the window at Zacky. He was leaned up against the bus, smoking. "You love him...don't you?" she asked me, almost in a whisper. I smiled and nodded. "I think I do, Piper...I really think I do. I mean I know it's only been two weeks...do you think it's possible to fall in love that fast?" I asked her. "Detta, you've been in love with Zacky for a long time...you're finally just getting to act on it is all...just be careful moving so fast, okay? I don't want you to get hurt. I don't think he'll hurt you intentionally...but there's always that chance. Just be careful, Detta." Piper and I fell asleep talking about the boys and woke up with Zacky between us.

The next two days passed by uneventfully. It was becoming obvious that tour was constantly the same, not much changed, except for the fact that my heart didn't even belong to me anymore. It belonged to the left-handed guitarist in the bus ahead of mine, at least for the most part. My son held a pretty big chunk of it himself. We were laying on the bed in the back of the bus coloring, listening to music, trying to drown out the squawking whores that I had to share a bus with when Piper had an emergency.

"DETTA!" she screamed. I jumped, caught off guard. "Jeez." I mumbled, rolling off the bed and getting to my feet. "AUNT PIPER!" Zacky squealed, hot on my heels. I opened the bedroom door, walking out into the hallway. Piper was standing at the end. She looked tired, upset, and irritated. It had apparently already been a rough morning for her. She knelt down and hugged Zacky. "How about you get your stuff together and run on up to my bus...you're gonna hang out with Uncle Shadows and everyone today. Mommy and Auntie Piper are going shopping." she told him. He hugged me goodbye and ran down the steps, pushing the door open and bolted for the guys bus. I could see Zacky pick him up through the front windsheild, a sight that brought a smile to my face. "You fucking bitch. I hate you. Grab your shit and let's go." Piper demanded. My eyes widened and my smile fell. "What the hell did I do?" I asked, grabbing my purse and following Piper outside. "You look like a fucking Goddess, as per usual, and I am resorting to wearing Johnny's pants just so I can go out in public. Can you tell I've gained weight?" she said, stopping and turning to face me. I looked her up and down for a moment. She may have gained five pounds, if that. If she had gained anymore, it was completely unobvious. "Maybe a little, but you look fine." I replied, getting into the cab with her. The mall was just across the highway but it was a busy road. There was absolutely no way in hell I was walking across it. "I hate you all. You would think one of you would have told me before my clothes stopped fitting." she snapped, shutting the door. "Your clothes stopped fitting?" I replied. "What part of _these are Johnny's pants_ did you not understand?" she asked. The cab pulled up to the mall and we got out, walking into the first store we saw, Rue 21. "They have cute jeans here." I told her. "I know, and cheap." she answered, grabbing different sizes off the rack and heading for the dressing room.

She finally found a few pair of jeans she was comfortable in, and though they were three sizes bigger than her usual size, they looked really good on her. I helped her pick out a new stripper outfit and we had lunch before I overspent in Victoria's Secret and we headed back.

Zacky POV-

The girls came back a few hours later and Zacky was asleep in my bunk. "Your woman's outside smoking if you want to go see her." Piper said, bags lining her arms, brushing past us all. "Thanks..." I replied, putting my sunglasses on and heading down the steps. "Hey you..." Detta said, grabbing my hand and pulling me to her. She wrapped her arms around me and laid her head on my chest. "Miss me?" I asked, rubbing her back. "Yes. Always. I'd like to be around you constantly but I think you might get tired of me." she replied. "Nah...not possible. I could never get tired of you and little man." I told her. "Speaking of which...where is he?" she replied, pulling away from me. "He just went to sleep." I said, pushing a strand of hair off her face. "Come with me...I wanna show you something."

Detta POV-

I had told Piper in the car that if I had a window of opportunity when we got back, that I would need some alone time with Zacky. Little Zacky being asleep was a cracked window; now to see how far we could push it open before he woke up. I pulled Zacky back to my bus and opened the door, closing and locking it behind us. "What's up?" he asked. "Right now? Nothing...in a few minutes? We'll see." I replied. My heart was racing. I couldn't believe I was going to do this, but there was no backing down. I wanted it, and I was sure he would too, as soon as he knew what was going on. "Stay here." I told him, stopping in the hallway. "O...kay..." he replied. I closed the bedroom door behind me and pulled my shirt over my head. I dug into one of the Victoria's Secret bags I'd brought in and pulled out the bra and panty set Piper had picked out and said I should wear for Zacky. She was joking. I took her quite seriously. I reached behind myself and unhooked the bra I had on with a single motion. Oh, the perks of being a stripper. I adjusted the straps on the new one and slid it on while shimmying out of my jeans. I pulled the price tag off the new pair of panties and pulled them on before opening the door and pulling Zacky in. I shut the door and pushed him up against it, pulling his face to mine and kissing him passionately.

Zacky POV-

Detta pushed me against the door so hard my hat fell off my head. "Damn, Detta." I said as she pulled away. "You ain't seen nothin' yet." she whispered, pulling me onto the bed. I pushed the bags off the bed into a pile on the floor. Where the hell had this come from? Not that I was complaining, the second she pulled me in the room and put her lips to mine I could practically feel all the blood rushing south. "You um...you do know we go on in like...an hour and a half..." I stuttered as she pulled my shirt off. "Yeah? Piper said the meet and greet is in an hour...but stage time isn't for three...either way, I think we should play a little game..." Detta replied. "Um...what...what kind of game?" I asked. My belt hit the floor. Detta laughed. I swear to God she sounded just like the girl from A Little Piece Of Heaven. Sinister, evil...but damn it, it was hot. "You'll see...the way it feels...I'm already ahead." she said, her hands sliding down the front of my pants. I bit my lip. She shouldn't have done that. That was the first time she had ever put her hands on me like that. I liked it entirely too much. "Oh fuck." I said. "Mhm...exactly." she whispered, licking her lips. I pushed my shoes off and moved farther up onto the bed.

Detta POV-

I honestly had no idea what I was doing. I hoped it wasn't too obvious. I didn't want Zacky to know I had little experience in the bedroom. I just wanted him. The last time I had sex, when I got pregnant with Zacky, had been...well...it didn't matter. I pushed the memory to the back of my mind and focused on the present moment. Zacky pulled my underwear off and threw them to the side. _Well,_ I thought to myself, _those didn't last very long._ I felt Zacky's tongue graze my thigh and my leg twitched. "You may be ahead for now..." he said, nipping my thigh gently, "but not for long." I smirked to myself. He had caught on. Hopefully he wouldn't be too incredibly late to the show...I would hate for Matt to get pissed off at him. He was being a tease. "You may get ahead, but don't you think for one second that you're gonna win..." I told him. "Oh I'm gonna win." he replied, smirking. Oh fuck. Great. Wonderful. I had just dug myself a hole. A really, really deep hole. I took a deep breath and relaxed as Zacky sat up onto his knees and pulled his jeans off. The old memories pushed to the back of my mind were banging on the door, rattling the hinges, threatening to break through. I couldn't let that happen. I needed him to take everything off of my mind. "Zacky..." I whispered as he parted my lips with his fingers. I trembled beneath his touch as the door of the room that held all of the memories from my past stopped rattling.

Zacky POV-

I guess she was so tight because it had been so long since she'd had sex. She'd told me once before it had been since she got pregnant with Zacky. That added up to be nearly five years. I don't know how she went that long without sex. I didn't want to hurt her, though. I had to be careful. She needed to be as relaxed as possible when she took me for the first time. "Relax, Detta." I said, slipping a finger, then two inside of her. She twitched at first, but relaxed as I gently moved my fingers in and out, rubbing her thigh with my free hand as I did. Her legs trembled and her walls tightened around my fingers as she neared climax. "You ready?" I asked her. "Yeah..." she replied, breathless. I almost felt guilty as I slid into her. She winced a little, but relaxed after the first few thrusts. "You okay?" I asked her. She nodded, digging her fingernails into the backs of my arms. "Fuck." she whispered, biting her lip, closing her eyes. "Zacky one...Detta, zero." I said, chuckling. "Oh fuck you." she replied, digging her nails further into my arms. "Literally." I replied. "Actually, you're fucking me...it could be the other way around..." she whispered, trying to push me over onto my back. "Uh-uh..." I said, pulling out and moving backward. I stood at the edge of the bed and pulled her by the waist toward me. "You're mean." she said, glaring at me. "Mhm...I love you." I said, kissing her stomach.

Detta POV-

I didn't reply when he told me he loved me. I wanted to, but I didn't. I bit my tongue as he entered me once more and thrust in and out until he brought me to a second climax. He was right, he was going to win this game. He hadn't even come yet, and we had been going at it for what seemed like hours. If he would just let me have my way with him, I thought. I was going to try again. I pushed on his chest and he pulled out of me. "What was that for?" he asked, breathless. "My turn." I said, pulling him down by the wrists. He knelt over me on his hands and knees. "You think so?" he asked. I kissed his neck, his arousal pressing against my stomach. "Mhm...you're all mine." I whispered. I pushed him onto his back and climbed on top, guiding him into me. I was sore already, but I didn't really care. The locked away memories were now hidden away, hopefully for good. Our hips rocked in sync with one another as I rode him, his hands on my waist, mine on his shoulders. "G'damn, Vendetta." Zacky moaned as we climaxed simultaneously. I laid down on top of him, trying to catch my breath. "Jesus Christ." I whispered. I just wanted to go to sleep. I was purely exhausted, but it was worth it. My entire body seemed to be trembling, inside and out, and my skin was sweaty and sticky against Zacky's. I looked over at the clock. He had an hour until showtime. That gave us half an hour to get cleaned up and dressed for the stage. There was a banging on the door of the bus that I had been neglecting. It was probably Little Zacky's sitter. She could wait. I couldn't even move.

Zacky POV-

I hadn't had sex that good in years, and I'd had a lot of sex. It must have been the emotional connection I felt to Detta. She laid on top of me for a good fifteen minutes after we finished, unmoving, nearly asleep. We couldn't go to sleep, though it did sound good. It was nearly show time. By the time either of us moved, I would be pushing it to make call time. A shower would have to wait. I would just have to throw some clothes on and play the set smelling like sex. I kissed Detta's forehead and sat up on the bed, searching for my clothes that were somewhere, scattered around the small back bedroom of her bus. "Do you think anyone heard us?" she asked, propping up on her elbow as I re-dressed. She was still wrapped up in the sheets, hair a mess, her face and chest still flushed. I buttoned my jeans and smiled over at her. "Who cares if they did?" I asked. She shrugged and rolled out of bed, digging in her bag for her stage costume. I placed my hands on her waist and kissed her cheek. "You okay?" I asked her once more. She turned around and smiled at me, her clothes clutched to her chest. "I'm more than okay, Zacky..." she replied. "Good...I'll see you in a few minutes..." I said, kissing her forehead and leaving her to dress for the show.

Detta POV-

I dressed in my stage outfit and ran a brush through my hair, pulling it into two long, black and purple pigtails. Fifteen minutes until the boys hit the stage. Shit. I grabbed my makeup bag and threw the bedroom door open, rushing to the bathroom to quickly do my makeup. My cheeks were flushed pink and there was a hickey on my neck. "Damn it, Zacky." I mumbled, brushing concealer over it. "What did I do, Mommy?" my son's voice came, startling me. "Shit. Zacky, you scared me...nothing, baby, nothing. Um. Where's Lauren?" I asked. "I don't know. I just got here." he said, leaning against the doorway. I looked back at him. He was dressed just like big Zacky. Baseball pants, black socks and shoes, and a t-shirt with the sleeves cut off. I couldn't help but laugh. "Who dressed you like that?" I asked him. "Uncle Syn." he replied. "Well...go get...um...nevermind. Sit down and I'll call Lauren...you may get to watch the show tonight." I told him. "Yay!" he said, jumping up and down. "Sit down, Zacky." I said, walking to the back room to get my phone. I had a text from Piper, which I skipped over for the time being. I dialed Lauren's number, but I got no answer. I was going to have to take Little Zacky out with me tonight. There was just no getting around it. I threw my phone onto the table and walked into the main part of the bus. "Come on, son. You're going to work with Mommy..."

Zacky POV-

"Zacky!" I heard from behind me. I turned around to see Little Zacky break away from his mother's grasp and run toward me. I only had a minute until I had to hit the stage. The crowd was already chanting "A7X" as loud as they could. I think Detta and I both blushed at the sight of one another. "Hey little man." I said. "Zacky, get back over here. He's gotta go on stage." Detta said, running as best she could in her heels. "It's cool, Baby..." I told her. Little Zacky hugged me around my legs as Detta caught up to us. "Zachary, let him go. He's gotta go to work. You can stand back here and watch...but when I go on stage, you better not move a muscle." she commanded. "I won't." he said, looking up at her. "Let's go guys." the stage manager said. "I'll see you out there." I said, leaning over and kissing Detta's cheek.

Detta POV-

Over the next few weeks, Zacky and I became closer than ever. He still didn't know all of my secrets though. I was too afraid to lose him to let him in on some of them. I just kept the door to my secret room shut with the key in my pocket. He spent more nights with me than he did on his own bus, and Zacky had to have him tuck him in every single night, whether he slept over with us or not. I was completely and totally without a doubt head over heels in love with him, and so was my son. He finally had someone he could look at like a father, something he had never had before, and I finally had a man in my life I could trust completely. I wasn't afraid of him at all, I was completely comfortable around him. I needed him. That's why I couldn't give him all of me. I also grew closer to Matt. He and Piper hung out with Zacky and I alot. Little Zacky loved his 'Uncle Shadow'. Before we all knew it, the tour was halfway over. We had been gone from Cali for a little over three months, and things were going great. Everything was absolutely perfect. Everything, except one little thing. I just couldn't take it anymore. I picked up my phone and texted Matt. "Hey...can you come over here for a minute? I need you to do something for me." I texted. I was shaking nervous. This wasn't good. This never happened. Hopefully it was just stress. Hopefully I was just late because I was so fucking paranoid. "Yeah, what's up? Do I need to bring anything?" he replied. "No, just you..." I sent back. I sat down on the couch and waited for his reply. I had been pacing for half an hour trying to decide what to do. Matt seemed to be my only option; I didn't want to tell anyone before I knew for sure, and I knew I could trust Matt. I had already packed my bags, ready to run. There was no way Zacky would stay with me if I was right. "Just me?" he asked. "Yes, Matt, just you. Please. It's really important." I answered. The minute it took Matt to get to my bus from his seemed like it took an hour. When he knocked, I jumped and screamed like a little girl. "C-come in." I called. "Hey Detta. What's up girl?" he asked, moving a pillow and sitting down next to me. "Matt...I...I think I'm pregnant." I told him bluntly. His jaw fell slightly ajar and he just stared at me. "Matt...I'm serious." I said. "I...uh...is that what you needed me for?" he asked. "Yes...Matt, I'm scared...I need to know...and I need your help." I replied, wiping a tear from my cheek. I was absolutely terrified. "What...um...what do you mean you need my help?" he asked. "Can you go get me a pregnancy test? But Matt, you can't tell anyone. I don't want anyone knowing anything, not until I find out for sure...not anyone, not Piper, not Zacky, not anyone. This stays between me and you." I said, tears now spilling down my cheeks. I didn't bother to wipe them away. I was scared. Matt wrapped his arms around me. "It's gonna be okay, Detta. I'll be right back. We'll figure this out. Stay here." he said. I nodded and locked the door behind Matt as he left to walk across the street to the drug store. He was a great friend. Piper had a great man. I had a great man...at least for now.

Matt returned some fifteen minutes later and handed me a small paper bag. "Thanks, Matt." I said, getting up and heading for the bathroom. I'd been holding my pee all morning. "Do you want me to stay?" he asked, leaning up against the wall. "Would you?" I replied. He nodded and I shut the door behind me. I opened the box and pulled the test out with shaking hands. This was it. My fate would be decided in the next three minutes. I took the test and re-capped it, pulled my jeans up and walked out into the hallway where Matt was waiting. "Well? What was it? Positive or negative?" he asked. "I don't know yet. I have to wait three minutes. It's been one." I said, sitting down. I held the test in my hands. I hadn't been this nervous in five years. The next two minutes ticked by so slowly. I didn't remember time ticking by this slowly when I found out I was pregnant with Zacky. Then again, Piper had me laughing the whole time to keep me from crying. That was always her thing. "Sometimes you have to laugh to keep from crying." I reached up and wiped a tear away from my cheek and looked down at the test. The sign was there, clear as day. I lost it. "Matt..." I said, through gut wrenching sobs. He knelt down in front of me. "Detta...it's gonna be okay." he said soothingly. "Matt, I'm scared. You can't tell Zacky, not yet. You can't tell Piper, or Syn, or anyone. This has to stay between me and you. Promise me." I said between sobs. "Detta..." he started. "Promise me, Matt. I have to leave. I have to figure this out. I don't know when or if I'll come back...please, just don't tell anyone about this." I begged. I was going to make my escape that night before we left the next morning. I didn't want anyone to see me leave. This was going to be the hardest thing I had ever done, and I was already starting to regret it. Part of me just wanted to tell Zacky that I was pregnant, but the part of me that feared losing him wouldn't allow it.

Zacky POV-

Something about Detta seemed really off that night. Her smile didn't seem genuine, and her eyes had lost that sparkle they usually had. There was tension in the way she touched me. She looked tired, worried, afraid...and she was silent. That never happened. Detta was always talking. "Hey...you okay?" I asked her, placing my hands on her waist, pulling her close to me as we stood outside her bus after we tucked Little Zacky into bed that night. "Yeah...I'm fine..." she replied. I wanted to believe her, but I just couldn't. Something was wrong. "Are you sure?" I asked. "Yeah...fine...just really tired." she said. "Okay...you wanna go to bed? We can go to bed." I offered. She nodded and moved my hands from her waist. "I'm gonna go get changed for bed...check on little man." she mumbled, opening the bus door. "You sure you're feeling okay?" I asked, tossing my cigarette to the ground and climbing the steps behind her. "Yeah..." she replied, peeking into the bunk her son was sleeping in. "Detta...what's the matter, baby? You've been acting funny all day...this isn't like you." I told her, turning her gently to face me. She forced a smile and kissed my lips. "I dunno. I just feel funny. I love you, though..." she said. "Want me to make you feel better?" I offered. She laughed and shook her head. "You don't have to do that." I kissed her neck. "No, but I want to. Come on." I took her by the hand and led her to the bedroom, shutting the door behind us.

Detta POV-

Normally, I would've felt better after a nice massage, hot shower, and passionate love making session with Zacky. That night, I felt seven times worse than I did beforehand. He was amazing and I didn't deserve him. When I was sure he was asleep, I slid out of the bed and grabbed my phone before slipping out into the hallway to call a cab. I grabbed my bags and snuck them out of the room, careful not to wake either Zacky. The cabbie called me back like I'd asked him to when he arrived. I took my bags to the car and stuffed them in the trunk and asked him to wait so I could go get my son. He nodded, told me it was on my dollar, and that he'd wait as long as he had to. I didn't care how many dollars I had to spend, I just had to get away. I walked back to the bus, tears pouring from my eyes, my heart breaking. I climbed the steps of the bus one last time and walked to the hallway to wake my son. "Come on...Zacky...wake up, buddy. We gotta go." I said quietly. "Mommy..." he mumbled. "Shhh...come on." I coaxed. "Where we going?" he asked. "Home. Come here. I'll carry you." I whispered. I didn't want him to see me cry. Dear God, please don't let him see my tears, I prayed silently. He wrapped his arms around my neck and I pulled him from the bunk. "Can we tell everyone bye before we go?" he asked. Tears burned my eyes once again as I forced myself to tell him no.

Zacky POV-

I woke up in the bed alone at eleven. That wasn't normal. Usually, I had to wake Detta up by bribing her with coffee or hot tea and a cigarette. Today, she wasn't even there. The bedroom door was open and the bus was silent, unmoving. Something was definitely wrong. I sat up and rubbed my eyes. Maybe she was outside or something. "Detta? Zacky?" I called, walking out into the hallway. I tripped over something in the lounge. Zacky's deathbat blanket. I picked it up and threw it over my shoulder. They had to be somewhere close by. There was no way he had gone very far without that blanket. "Detta...Zacky?" I called once more. They weren't on the bus. I went to the back room and grabbed my phone, dialing Detta's number. It rang and rang and rang, but she never answered. I hung up and dialed Piper. Maybe she'd know where she was. "Hello?" she answered. "Hey Piper." I replied, sitting down. "What's up Zacky?" she said. "Um...nothing, hey have you heard from Detta this morning? She's not here..." I told her. "No, Zack, I havent talked to her today. Maybe she took Zacky to get something to eat." she suggested. "Maybe...it's weird, though, I'd have thought she would've woken me up for that. I usually have to bribe her out of bed." I said, looking out the window to see if I could see them anywhere. Nothing. Nothing at all. Where could they be? Maybe Piper was right...but surely Detta would've woken me up or at least left me a note. Piper giggled. "So you two were in bed...together?" she asked. "Yeah. Why is that amusing?" I asked, pushing the bus door open and stepping outside. "No reason. I dont know Zacky, you want me to try to call her?" she replied. "Yeah, and I'm gonna go look for them. Call me back as soon as you know something, okay?" I answered. "Okay, can do." she said. "Thanks, Piper." I hung up the phone and set off to look for Detta and Zacky. I was worried sick, this wasn't like Detta at all. I texted Matt. They had been talking a lot. Maybe he'd heard from her. "Dude you heard from Detta?" I said. "Not since last night." he sent back. "Fuck." I said aloud, heading back to the bus.

Detta POV-

We were sitting in the Los Angeles airport waiting on my mom to pick us up when my phone rang for the third time that morning. I looked down at the caller ID and took a deep breath. Ignore or answer? I hit the talk button and braced myself. Surely by now someone had realized what was going on. "Hello?" I answered. "Zacky is looking for you." Piper said. Damn it. "I...um...is he?" I replied. "Yes he is. Now where the fuck are you?" she snapped. She was onto me. I knew this would happen. If I could have, I would've gone back. That, however, was impossible. "I'm...I'm in L.A." I told her. I couldn't lie to her. Not to Piper, not to my best friend. "Hope you had a great flight." she said before the line went dead. She was pissed and I couldn't blame her. I never should have left. "Mommy, did the airplane people find my blanket?" Little Zacky asked, poking my leg. I wiped a tear from my face and shook my head. "No, they didn't. But if they find it, they'll send it to us. For now, you can use mine, okay?" I replied, texting Piper. She wouldn't answer if I called. "I'm sorry, I had to go." I sent. Her reply came quickly. "You didnt have to do shit, you could have talked to someone, instead of leaving me and your...whatever worried as fuck." she said. "I did talk to someone." I replied. That would probably get Matt in trouble if she figured out who it was. "I'll kill him." she sent back. Yep, he was in trouble. "Piper, don't blame him. I ran. Don't be mad at him." I told her. "Yes you did, and he helped you. He's just as guilty. You just broke Zacky's heart. Hope you can sleep with that." she said. The dam broke and the tears fell. I knew that, but seeing it in words just hurt sevenfold. "I don't deserve him, Piper." I replied. " If you think that he was going to hurt you, then you're right, but he damn sure didnt deserve this. He loves you and baby Zacky. Remember that, and ask yourself who else has ever said that." she said. I shut my phone off and shoved it in my purse. She was right. Zacky didn't deserve me abandoning him, but I didn't deserve him. It was a lose-lose situation.

Zacky POV-

I climbed onto the batmobile, Zacky's blanket still draped over my shoulder. "Heard anything?" I asked Piper. "Yeah. She's gone." she replied. "Well, I know that much. Where is she? When is she gonna be back?" I conquered. "She's not. She left the tour. She isnt coming back,Zacky. She's gone." she told me. "What...quit fucking with me, Piper. Where is she?" I replied, sitting down "L.A, Zacky. She's gone." she told me. "Why would she leave?" I asked. This couldn't be real. They were all playing a big ass joke on me. Detta was coming back. She wouldn't leave me...would she? No, not possible. "You really have no idea do you? She didnt even bother telling you did she?" she replied, eyes wide. "Telling me what?" I answered. I felt like I was going to cry. I hadn't cried since Jimmy passed, and that had been nearly two years. Why would Detta leave me? Why would she take Little Zacky and just run without saying goodbye? Didn't she know how much I loved them both? "Zacky's father...he raped her. Yeah. He was a regular at the strip club, he was supposed to take her home one night and he raped her in the back alley." she explained. Raped? Zacky's father raped Detta? I clenched my fists and I felt the muscles in my jaw contract. "I'll fucking kill him." I said through gritted teeth. I was serious. "I know...he's in jail now, has been for quite some time. I can't believe she didn't tell you..." she said softly, sitting down next to me. She put her hand on my forearm. I flinched, tears threatening to form in my eyes. I blinked them away. I still didn't have an answer as to why she would just up and leave. "That still doesn't explain why she would leave." I told Piper. "She's just scared, Zacky...she loves you, and that's frightening to her...and when Detta gets scared, she runs...I know it hurts, honey, I do...but there's nothing that can be done...not right now, anyway." she said. I swallowed hard and nodded. "Yeah...just let it go, I guess." I said, standing up. I walked to the back of the bus and tossed Zacky's blanket into my bunk. There was a picture of Detta holding him on her lap, me next to them, kissing Detta on her cheek, that had been taken a few tour stops back on the wall right by where I laid my head at night. I ripped the picture from the wall and threw it on the table wher Piper was sitting before heading back to the other bus to get the rest of my things. I wouldn't be boarding that bus again any time soon. I had no reason to. I went into the bedroom and gathered what few clothes had gotten left behind on nights that I slept over. "I can't believe she would do this to me." I mumbled, turning on the bathroom light and grabbing the things I'd left in there. I bent over to pick up a shirt and my phone fell out of my pocket and into the trash can. "Damn it." I said. I pulled the phone out of the trash can, meanwhile knocking it over. "Today is just not my fucking day." I said to no one in particular. Not like anyone was listening. I picked up the trash can and the few things that had fallen out. I tossed the razors and shampoo bottles back into the can, but the box caught my eye. "Pr...oh fuck." I said, standing back up. I abandoned my things and ran back over to the bus. "Piper...I think Detta's...I think Detta's pregnant." I said, showing her the box. "Um...Zacky, that's not hers, honey. That...that's mine...I took it over there..." she said, taking the box from me and throwing it in the trash. "Oh...are you pregnant?" I asked. "No. It was a false alarm. If Detta were pregnant, I'd know."

Detta POV-

I knelt before the toilet for the third time that day in the airport. "Mommy, are you okay?" Zacky asked. "Yeah, baby. I'm just sick. I'll be okay." I replied, flushing the toilet. My mom still hadn't shown up. I wasn't surpised, though, honestly. I didn't think she would be there on time. She hated me and I was surprised she had agreed to come get us at all. She'd said she'd come get us, but just because of Zacky. We could sleep in the spare room until I found an apartment. I had no other choice. To my mom and dad's it was. "I don't like when you're sick." Zacky said, petting my head. "Me neither, baby. Let's go wait for Nanna." I replied, pulling myself up off the dirty bathroom floor. "Can we call Zacky and tell him we made it here?" Zacky asked as we sat down outside once more. "No, not right now..." I answered. "Why not?" he inquired. "Well...Mommy and Zacky aren't boyfriend and girlfriend anymore...and when a boyfriend and girlfriend break up, they don't really talk a lot." I explained. "What about Uncle Shadow? And Auntie Piper? Are they still my Uncle Shadow and Auntie Piper?" he asked. "Yes, baby. But they're busy right now. We'll call them later, okay?" I replied. He nodded and climbed up into my lap. I cursed myself for doing this to him. I regretted ever leaving the tour. I hated myself for being so damn terrified to lose Zacky. He would never come back to me now, even if I went back and begged. I made my own worst fear come true.

Zacky POV-

The first night of tour after Detta left, I was pretty numb. I don't remember much. I'd consumed way too much liquor by the time we hit the stage and I'm surprised I didn't fuck up too badly. I actually played fine, at least that's what the guys told me, and they were always pretty honest. I played fine, except for one song, Matt said. I knew without hesitation what song that was. I remember that part of the night perfectly, clear as day. We'd just finished playing "Walk" and it was time to play "Unholy Confessions", Detta's favorite song. I took another shot of Jack right as Johnny, Syn, and Abe started playing. I tossed the plastic cup into the crowd and picked up the song. "_I'll try, she said as she walked away, try not to lose you..."_ Matt sang. I was glad I had on my sunglasses and sweat was pouring down my face, or else people would've been able to tell that I was crying. Just two more songs, dude, I told myself, then you can go drink her out of your mind.

I grabbed my bottle of Jack and handed my guitar off to Matt Berry, just like always. I took a swig of the whiskey and it burned my throat, but I really didn't care. I walked to the bus alone, leaving the rest of the band behind, and climbed into my bunk, still dressed in the sweaty clothes I'd worn on stage, my bottle of Jack still in my hand. I'd taped the picture of Detta, Zacky, and I back up earlier, after throwing it on the table at Piper, crumpling it up and playing catch with myself, and shedding a few tears and saying a few choice words. I couldn't cuss at it too much, though, I felt like I was insulting Little Zacky, and that poor kid had done nothing wrong. Detta had done nothing wrong. I didn't know what I'd done wrong, and I probably never would. I was good at losing the women I loved. "I love you, Detta...I dunno what the fuck I did, but I wish I could undo it." I said, taking another drink of Jack as the bus became filled with the noise of the rest of the guys piling in. I twisted the top back on the bottle, stashing it under my pillows. That wasn't too comfortable, but I wasn't really willing to share.

"Where's Zacky?" Piper's voice asked. She was standing close. "I don't know. He took off after the show pretty quick." Matt replied. "Dude, you guys coming?" Johnny asked. Matt and Piper told him to go on without them, and soon after, only their voices remained, as Syn and Abe left as well. "I'm worried about Zack, Matt." Piper said. I listened closely. This could get interesting. "Well, I don't blame him for being upset...he loves Detta and her kid...he'll be okay." Matt replied. "No, Matt...didn't you notice how much he was drinking tonight? I've never seen him drink that much, not ever. He was completely wasted. It didn't affect his playing that much, but he got upset during Unholy Confessions. He did a shot before it and four afterward. He took off with the bottle of Jack that was sitting on the speakers...she's only been gone a day and he's already trying to drink away his pain." she said. At least Piper cared about me. The guys did too, not saying they didn't, but Piper's best friend sure didn't seem to.

"Well, he's upset, honey. That doesn't make it okay for him to get shit-faced, but maybe it's how he deals. When Gena left him he...well, he didn't drink that much...but he's just upset. He'll be fine, I promise." Matt said. "Matt, he needs her...and she needs him, whether she realizes it or not." Detta needed me, yeah right. She had everything she needed. She had herself, and her son. That was all she cared about, clearly. She'd made a good bit of money on the tour, and we'd had a good time while we were together. I was stupid as fuck to believe she loved me back, though. Clearly she didn't, or else she wouldn't have left. Fuck love, I thought. You don't mean that, I told myself. Good job, Zacky, you're talking to yourself now. I turned over and hugged a pillow close to my chest. Normally, it would've been Detta I was holding close to me like that.

I silently laid in my bunk, listening to the sounds of Matt and Piper talking. The subject went from me to Detta and Zacky, which is where I shut them out and closed my eyes. I couldn't handle any talk of them. I yanked the picture from the roof of my bunk and gave it a kiss before finally drifting off to sleep, the picture of my little piece of heaven in my hand.

-THREE WEEKS LATER-

"So do you want to come back with me tonight?" she asked me, tracing the line of my jaw with her fingernail. I turned my bottle of Jack up and drained the remainder of the contents. "Yeah girl. Let's go." I dropped the bottle on the ground and it shattered against the concrete. We walked together back to her bus, me leaning against her for support. I couldn't even tell you her name. Jessie...Carrie...something with an e sound on the end. I think it rhymed with my name. All I really knew was she looked good, and I needed sex. I stumbled up the steps to her bus. It looked and felt familiar. I'd been here before. "This is a nice bus," I slurred, following behind her. "Yeah? You like it? Wait until you see what's waiting back here for you." she replied, pulling me into the back room. She flipped on the light and I knew exactly where I was. This room was too familiar.

"Oh...I've been here before." I said, sitting on the bed. "Yeah, you probably know your way around this room really well." she said, pushing me onto my back. "Hell yeah I do," I replied. "You think you can show me what you used to do in here?" she asked, slipping her hands inside of my pants. "Uh...yeah...you want me to?" I replied, grabbing onto her breasts. Something just felt wrong about this whole situation. "Show me. Show me what you can do, Zacky," she said. "How about you show me somethin'...then I'll show you." I replied. I was drunk as fuck. That, I knew for fact. She unzipped my pants, stroking me through my boxers. "You like that?" she asked, licking her lips. "Yeah...yeah...do that." I replied.

She raked her nails gently down my hipbones, pulling my boxers down over my semi-erect cock. "Oh damn." she said, licking her lips again. "Yeah..." I moaned as she ran her tongue across the tip. "Oh God, Detta," I whispered. "What did you say?" she asked me. "Don't stop, Detta." I said. "I'm not Detta." she snapped. Not Detta? I was on Detta's bus...in Detta's bed...all of a sudden my buzz was gone and I felt sick. This was wrong, so wrong. I pushed her off of me and pulled up my pants. "I gotta get the fuck out of here," I said, stumbling into the hallway. "Where the fuck are you going?" she called after me. "I gotta go," I said, pushing the door to the bus open. Jack was disagreeing with my actions as well, or maybe he just didn't like the fact that he was alone in my stomach. I pulled myself up the steps of the batmobile and pushed past Matt and Piper, squeezing into the tiny bathroom and emptying the contents of my stomach in the shower floor.

"Zacky..." Piper's voice came from behind me as I vomited again. I couldn't really respond. I just tried to wave her away. I would be fine once I got all the Jack out of me. "Zacky...honey..." she said, laying a hand on my back. She turned on the cold water and it ran over my head, rinsing out the shower. "You okay?" she asked. I nodded, stumbling backwards into her. "Sorry," I mumbled. She shook head. "It's okay. You alright?" she asked me. I nodded, leaning against the wall. I was dizzy, and my head was pounding. I was also starving, but afraid to eat. I wanted Detta. She'd make me feel better, but she was gone. She'd been gone. I just wanted her back. "I just..." I whispered. "What happened, Zacky?" she replied. I shook my head. I didn't want to talk about it. If she knew what happened, she'd probably hate me. I hated me. I felt dirty. Even though she had left, she was still my girl. I still loved her, and I felt awful about what I'd done.

"Zacky...talk to me," she said, handing me a towel. I wiped my face off and looked up at her. "I miss Detta," I said. That was all I could manage. I missed her. I needed her. I wanted her. Clearly, no one else would be good enough. Piper looked at me sympathetically. "I know you do, Zacky," she replied. "I need her, Piper," I said. She nodded. "I know...and she needs you...maybe you should try getting in touch with her or something. Have you even tried?"

I shook my head. I had thought about it, but I'd never actually done it. I'd dialed her number a thousand times but I never could hit send. Not like she'd answer anyway, and I couldn't blame her. I didn't know exactly what I'd done wrong, but whatever it was, I deserved this. I deserved her just up and leaving. I didn't deserve her at all, especially not now. "Why not?" she demanded. "She won't take me back, Piper." I said. My throat was burning. I needed something to drink...just not Jack Daniels. "I need some water," I said, standing up. I tried to walk out into the main part of the bus, but I still couldn't walk straight. "Come on," she said, wrapping my arm around her shoulders, nearly dragging me to the couch. She handled me a bottle of water and sat down next to me. "You need the trash can or are you gonna be okay?" she asked. I swallowed a gulp of water and shook my head. "I'm alright," I said. "You need to call Detta," she said. "I can't," I told her. "Why the fuck not?"

"I just can't, Piper. I can't. Especially not now. Not after tonight," I could feel my stomach churning again. "Why? What happened?" she asked. "I almost fucked one of the strippers...I cheated on Detta, Piper. She would never forgive me," I said. "Almost...but you didn't?" she replied. I shook my head. "I was on the bed, and she was about to..." Piper looked at me, confused. I bowed my head. "Don't make me say it," I plead. "I don't think I wanna know," she said. "You don't," I said, standing up and walking to my bunk. I climbed in and pulled the curtain shut, closing my eyes, trying my damndest to block out the thoughts of what had happened earlier. The curtain slid open and Piper stared at me. "Just call her tomorrow, Zacky. Promise me you'll try. I know she ran away but she loves you. Just call her." I nodded in return, promising I would before the worst night of sleep I'd had in years.

I dialed Detta's number for what seemed like the hundredth time that day, but this time, I actually hit send. It had been a month since she'd left, and I was missing not only her, but Little Zacky, too. The phone rang three times and I was about to give up hope. I was ready to press the end button when a little voice answered the phone. "Hello?" it said. Little Zacky. I smiled to myself and put the phone back up to my ear. "Hey, little man...how are you?" I asked. "Good." he replied. "Do you know who this is?" I questioned. I wouldn't be surprised if he had forgotten me completely. "Zacky," he answered. "Yep, it's me. How are you? How's your mom?" I said. "I'm good...Mommy is okay. She cries a lot. I think she misses you," he told me. I didn't really know what to say. What do you say to a four year old that says things like that? "You think so?" I asked. "Yeah, cause whenever I ask her why she is crying, she says cause she misses Zacky Vengeance," he replied. "Who is that?" a voice came in the background. It was the most beautiful voice in the world. It was Detta's voice. "Zacky Vengeance," Little Zacky said. His voice sounded further away now, and a few seconds later, the line went dead.

Detta POV-

"Why'd you hang up on him?" Little Zacky asked me as I took the phone away from him. "Mommy doesn't want to talk to Zacky V," I said, wiping a tear from my face. "But I do," my son replied, his voice quivering. I closed my eyes, willing the tears forming behind them away. "Zachary, go play. You're not talking to him...I told you, Mommy and Zacky aren't boyfriend and girlfriend anymore," I said, opening my eyes and gathering my work clothes together. "Why not?" he asked. "We're just not...now go play with Nanna and Poppa," I said, my voice cracking. I didn't want him to see me cry, not again. He had seen enough of that. With my raging hormones and mood swings, he had seen a totally different side of me, one I never thought he'd see. "Are you mad at Zacky?" he asked. I took a deep breath and turned around to face my son. The truth was, I was angry with myself. I was angry for leaving, I was angry at myself for sleeping with him, I was angry about everything. "No...I'm not mad at him. Mommy's just tired and worn out...now please, go play with Nanna and Poppa. I'll see you tomorrow, okay?" I said, hugging my son close. "Okay Mommy...I love you...and Zacky loves you too," he said, kissing my cheek before leaving the room. I stared at him as he left and another tear fell from my lashes. "I love him, too," I whispered.

Zacky POV-

I sat with my head in my hands. Part of me wanted to skip the show that night and go find her, tell her I was sorry, and beg her for forgiveness. "What's the matter, Zacky?" Piper's voice came from behind me. Her hand slid across my back and she sat down next to me on the couch. "Just called to talk to Detta...Zacky answered. He said that Detta misses me..." I said. "She does, Zacky. How could she not?" she replied. "I scared her. She tried to stick around but she just couldn't do it...and now, my whole world is falling apart. She's gone and she took Zacky with her. I love them both...he may not be my son by blood, but I sure as hell love him like he is...and I need them in my life. I have to get them back," I told her. Piper nodded, taking my hand into both of hers. "You know what you have to do, Zacky. Whether you do it or not is up to you. Detta's out there, waiting...she wants you to come after her, but she'd never tell you, me, or anyone else that. She loves you, whether she shows it or not, and she loves the fact that you love Zacky...she needs you. Zacky needs you. She may be scared, but you're the only one who can calm her fears...now...you have to make a decision. Do you stay and let them go, or do you go, and get back the two most important people in your life?" she said. She was completely, one hundred percent, absolutely, without a shadow of a doubt correct. I had to go. "I have to go," I told her. "Yeah...you do. Now, go. I'll cover for you tonight. Go get your girl," she said, letting go of my hand. "Now?" I asked. "There's no time like the present, Zack...and another moment could be too late. Go get her," she replied.

When I got off the plane, I took a cab home to get my own car to go looking for Detta. I only knew one place to look. If she wasn't there, I hoped someone who was knew where to find her. As the sun began to set along the shore of Huntington Beach, dark clouds began rolling in, obstructing the light. I became lost in thought, trying to think of what I was going to say to Detta when I found her. I tapped my fingers on the steering wheel along with the beat of the music playing from the speakers. "That was Unholy Confessions by Avenged Sevenfold here on Sirius-XM Octane. Word is that Zacky Vengeance had to take the night off due to an illness. Violinist/vocalist Piper Profanity is covering his spot tonight. Get well soon, Zacky," the DJ said. I smirked to myself as the light turned green. I looked to my right and saw a cemetery just a short distance down the road. I made an illegal right turn and parked in front of the wrought iron gates. I stared up at the sky for a second before opening the door. "Just hold out on me for just a few minutes...I need to talk to my brother," I said.

Luckily, the gates were open. I walked in, and straight to Jimmy's grave. It had been a while since I'd been there. I knelt down in front of it, brushing the dirt off the marble headstone that bore his name. "Hey bro...how's it going up there?" I said to the stone as a rumble of thunder came from the skies. "I...uh...just wanted to come see you...it's been a while. We've been out on the road and all...been pretty busy...Gena and I finalized our divorce...you were right about her," I said. Another clap of thunder. It sounded almost like a laugh. "But um...you were also right about something else...I did find someone I can't live without. She's amazing, Jimmy. She's so beautiful...her name's Vendetta. She's Italian...amazing brown eyes...long, dark hair...dark complexion...short, like Johnny's height. She's got a bunch of tattoos, and her lip's pierced like mine. She's a stripper...that's how we met. We got a bunch of strippers to come out on the road with us, you know, for 'Scream', and me and her really hit it off. She's Piper's best friend...I'm sure you know all about Piper...and she's got a little boy. God, dude, I never thought I wanted kids, but this kid has me wrapped around his finger. His name's Zacky, too. He's almost five...really cute kid. Smart, too," I said. Thunder rumbled a little louder this time. "But uh, I think I scared her away. She packed up and took off one night in the middle of tour about a month ago...but I finally came to my senses and I'm chasing after her now...I just wish I knew where to find her," I said, readjusting the wilted flowers above the grave. "I'll bring you some more flowers soon...even though flowers aren't really your thing. I'll bring you a pair of sticks, too. I've got a few at the house..." I told him. The thunder cracked, and lightning streaked the sky in the shape of an arrow. "You trying to tell me that's the way to where she's at?" I asked, looking up to the sky. The thunder rolled once again and the lightning flashed in the same pattern once more. "Okay...lead the way, brother. Help me find my girl..."

I followed the storm clouds along the beach and wound up exactly where I figured I would. "I hope you're right, Jimmy." I mumbled, getting out of the car. I walked up to the door and paid my cover to get in. I stood back in the entrance way, scanning the building for any sign of Detta. I didn't see her, but I was sure someone knew whether or not she was there. "Excuse me..." I said to a cocktail waitress as she walked by. "Yes?" she replied, turning around. "Is Detta working tonight?" I asked. "Yeah, she'll be on in a few minutes. You want me to get her for you?" she replied. "No, no. It's cool. I just wondered if she was here or not. Don't tell her I'm here, okay? I kinda want to surprise her..." I told her. She nodded and walked away, rolling her eyes. I stood back against the wall, hoping Detta wouldn't see me when she came out on the stage. The lights went out and a song I didn't know started to play. I could tell, even in the dark, the silhouette of the girl on stage. I knew those curves. The lights came on and my breath was knocked from my chest. It had been too long since I'd seen her. She was still just as beautiful as she had been the last time I'd seen her. I silently thanked Jimmy and watched Detta as she did her job.

I noticed a guy sitting close to me watching her intently. Motherfucker, get your eyes off my girl, I thought. He got up after she was done and left. I had a bad feeling about him. I debated on going to the back to see Detta, but decided against it. I needed to keep an eye on that guy. I didn't like the way he had looked at her. I followed him out the door, standing against the wall, watching him. He got into his car and sat there, staring at the door. I walked back inside so he wouldn't notice. Hopefully I would see Detta leave and I'd be able to talk to her then. I waited and waited, but never saw her. The club was dead for the most part, there were maybe five guys sitting around at a few different tables. Several of the strippers left, but I never saw Detta.

I decided to go ask someone where she was. Someone had to know. I ran into Kevin, the sound guy she'd introduced me to the first night we met, and asked him. "I just sent her home, man. How's it been going?" he replied. "Good. I'm gonna go see if I can catch up to her. Do you know where she's staying?" I asked. "Her folks' place, over on Maple. She's workin' a second job, though. Denny's down the road. I don't think she's feeling too good though, so she may just go straight home." he said. I nodded and said a quick thanks, taking off in an almost run for the door.

I walked to my car and pulled out the GPS, Denny's...right down the road. Her parents' place on Maple...I could find those. I chose Denny's first, maybe she'd be there. If not, maybe someone could tell me exactly which house it was on Maple I needed to go to. A black car with the interior light and driver's door open caught my eye as I backed out of the parking spot. There was no driver in sight, but the bag that laid on the pavement next to it looked familiar. I pulled the car into park and got out, walking over to the mess. "Detta..." I said, in a near whisper. The thunder rumbled again, lightning flashing on the opposite side of the building.

Detta POV-

In the month since I had left the tour, a lot had gone on. I had picked up a second job, considering I wouldn't be able to strip much longer. I rarely got to see Little Zacky, and I was tolerating my parents, given the fact that Zacky and I were staying with them until I could find a new apartment for us and the new baby. I was actually glad to be leaving the strip club. Zacky's father had been released from jail and I had been told he was looking for me. I never set foot on that stage that I didn't shake with fear until I was sure he wasn't there. I finished up my shift early one night. The club was absolutely dead and I was exhausted, so Kevin sent me home. I walked out of the club and hit the unlock button. My mom was letting me drive her car, thank God. I didn't want to have to wait until Kev got off to go home. I just wanted to crawl in bed with my baby boy and sleep away the pain that I still carried with me, forget the fact that I was pregnant with the man I loved's child, and he didn't even know it. I was just opening the door of my car when a hand clapped over my mouth and an arm went around my waist, lifting me up. "We meet again, Vendetta..." the voice growled into my ear. I felt the bile rising in my throat, my eyes watering. I knew better than to scream. I knew that voice. It wasn't a comforting one. I was carried into the alley next to the club and pushed against the wall. "Vendetta...I almost forgot how beautiful you are...how have you been my dear?" he asked me, brushing his hand against my face. I jerked away. "Leave me alone." I said, my voice trembling. "Oh, Vendetta...I'm not going to leave you alone. No...I feel like torturing you, just as I've been tortured for the last five years. Now, tell me...how is our son?" he asked in a low whisper. "He isn't your son." I growled back, trying to duck away. He grabbed me by my hair though, pulling me to the ground. "You know better than to run from me, Vendetta! You put me away...and now I'm back with a vengeance," he yelled, smacking my face. Vengeance. I wanted Zacky. He would protect me. My Zacky...a tear rolled down my face as I realized how much I missed him and needed him, especially right then. I closed my eyes as the fabric of my shirt ripped and I braced myself for what was coming. "Get your hands off my girl, motherfucker," I heard. There was no way I was hearing that. He was halfway across the country. He was a figment of my imagination. "Come on, Detta. Open your eyes. It's me," Zacky's voice whispered. There was no mistaking the gentle hands that were on my face. I wasn't hallucinating, I wasn't dreaming. He was there. He helped me up and gave me his jacket to cover up. "Zacky...how did you know..." I said, tears spilling over my lashes. We stopped walking and he wrapped me in his arms, holding me as my body shook with every sob. "It's okay, Detta...let's get you home...come on, baby." he said, rubbing my back as I cried. "Zacky...I love you..." I whispered, my lips against his neck. "I love you too...let's get you home and we'll talk, okay? Where's little man?" he replied. "He's at my parents'." I replied. "Will they watch him until tomorrow?" he asked, shutting the door to my mom's car and locking it. "Yeah...I'm supposed to go to my other job after I leave here, so they don't expect me home til tomorrow afternoon anyway." I said, nodding. "Okay. Come on..." he said, guiding me to his car. He opened the door for me before getting into the car himself. He started the car, but we didn't go anywhere. "I'm really sorry about everything." he told me. I shook my head. "It's not your fault. I'm the one who left. I'm sorry...I shouldn't have done that." I told him. "No...you had every right to go. I was an asshole, I don't blame you for leaving. I deserved it. I don't deserve you...but damn it, I love you, Vendetta. I love you, and I love your son, and I want to be a part of your lives...just give me another chance, Detta." he plead. I looked into his eyes and reached over, touching his face gently. "Zacky, I love you..." I whispered. He leaned over and placed a gentle kiss on my lips. I had been longing for that since before I left. It had been far too long. He pulled away and kissed my lips softly once more. "I love you too...let's go." he said. He put the car into drive and made it to his house in record time. He let us in just as the rain began to pour outside. Thunder crashed and lightning streaked the sky. "I love storms." I told him, staring out the big window by his front door. His arms wrapped around me, his chin on my shoulder. "Yeah? Why?" he asked. I turned to face him. "Because of Matt...and what he told Piper. Chris and I were...very close...and I miss him...do you think it's possible to miss someone you've never met?" I asked. "Sure, I guess so, why?" he replied. A clap of thunder rattled the windows. "I miss Rev." I whispered. "Me too...and I've missed you...and little Zacky..." he said. I licked my lips, nodding. "We missed you too..." I said. Without warning, I was scooped up by Zacky and carried into his bedroom where he laid me on the bed. "Let's do this right this time...that is...if you want to..." he said, leaning down and kissing my forehead. I pulled his face down to mine and kissed his lips. "Make love to me, Zachary."

Zacky POV-

"Not right now..." I said, backing off of the bed. I had changed my mind. The time wasn't right for that. "Why not?" Detta asked, sitting up. "Because...I need you to hear something first...and you've had a rough night." I replied, extending my hand to her. She took it without hesitation and I pulled her from the bed and walked with her hand in hand back into the living room. "What are you doing?" she asked. "You have to hear this song...I heard it and I thought of you...I haven't been able to get it out of my mind since." I told her, picking up my old acoustic guitar and sitting on the arm of the couch.

Detta POV-

It's amazing how our minds were connected, even while I was gone. Zacky strummed the first few chords of the song and tears formed in my eyes. I had heard that song, too. I had thought of us, too. That song was us, without a doubt.

_The road turned into a snake_

_and looked in my veins and said_

_it's in your blood_

_thats when i tried to run_

_but it was way too dark_

_i got scared and ran into your arms_

_oh sweet chemical predicament_

_i can't stop, can't change the evident_

_predisposed to forget the best part_

_a story where the hero dies without regard_

_made sure that the needle was clean when i let myself fall asleep_

_and all i kept was a piece of your picture_

_it slipped from her fingers when i slid into my dreams_

_it's not as deep as it seems_

_and unfair as it may be_

_i'm just here to remind you_

_remind you not to forget to remember me_

_i know you know how it feels to make a clean break_

_my bones are your bones_

_my home is your home_

_you must be so confused_

_i got scared and ran away from you_

_oh sweet divine predicament_

_i can't hide i can't change the evident_

_we disposed the trusted photograph_

_to portray the way you used to laugh_

_do you recall and do you wed_

_such a radiant *bride*_

_you couldn't wait to see your first born take his very first steps_

_and you smiled at him cause you thought he looked like me_

_it's not as deep as it seems_

_and unfair as it may be_

_i'm just here to remind you_

_remind you not to forget to remember me_

_now i've died, you question so much_

_i don't possess the strength to answer straight_

_and no, i'm not afraid, at least not to die_

_i'm afraid to live and not remember why_

_sweet chemical indifference_

_i can't stop, can't change the evident_

_predisposed to perpetual sickness_

_i refuse to let you all be witness_

_make sure the needle is clean when you let me go back to sleep_

_and situate the piece of her picture underneath my fingers_

_it protects me in my dreams_

_it's not as deep as it seems_

_and unfair as it may be_

_i'm just here to remind you_

_remind you not to forget to remember me_

He put the guitar down and wiped at his eyes. "My singing isn't the best but...that song...it said things I couldn't say...things that I had no idea how I would put into words...I've listened to that song every single day since you left. I love you, Detta. I'm sorry I scared you. I'm sorry I made you run away...but I love you, and I don't ever want you to be afraid again." he said, hands on either side of my face. "I love you, too...I do...and you are absolutely amazing. I don't deserve you. I really, really don't. I ran away, I broke your heart, all because I was afraid you would leave me when I told you..." I whispered. "Told me what?" he asked. "I'm pregnant."

Zacky POV-

"Preg...I thought...are..." I couldn't speak because I was smiling too hard. "I'm so sorry. I should've told you. I told Matt but I made him swear not to tell. No one else knows. Not Piper, not Little Zacky...my mom and dad know...and Kevin...but no one else." Detta said, her voice quivering. "Shh...Detta. It's okay, baby...you're pregnant. It's okay...we'll be fine. I'll take care of you. Both of you...and Little Man..." I said, lifting her chin so that her eyes would meet mine. I had missed those eyes...that face...that beautiful face. She shook her head, tears falling from her eyes. "I don't deserve you." she whispered. "The hell you don't. You've been through hell and back. You do deserve me. I don't deserve you, Detta. I don't deserve you, and Zacky, and this baby..." I said, my hand moving to her stomach, "but somehow we wound up together and I fell in love with you and your son." Detta placed a hand on top of mine. "I don't deserve you at all. You're too good to me." she said. "It doesn't matter if you deserve me or not. You've got me, and I'm not leaving you...you're beautiful to me in ways I can't even describe. I love you, Vendetta." I felt for her. I hated that someone made her believe she didn't deserve me. I hated that she felt worthless. That had to change. "I love you too...can we go get Little Zacky? He'd love to see you." she replied. "Of course we can...but shouldn't he be asleep?" I asked. "He won't be. He rarely sleeps anymore. He lost his blanket so now he won't sleep unless I'm there...and I'm hardly home. I've been working two jobs...I hate it. I regret ever leaving tour...he hasn't done well with it at all...I really messed up." she said. I smiled. "Well, I found his blanket. It was on the bus. I've got it with me..." I told her, brushing her bangs from her face. "Did you? Oh my God, he's going to be so happy...thank you." she thanked me. I shook my head. "No need to thank me. Come on, let's go get him...I wanna spend time with him before I have to fly out in a few hours." I took her by the hand to lead her to the door but she stopped. "Fly out?" she asked. "Yeah...I've gotta get back to tour...we've only got a month or so left...I'll be back. You guys can stay here." I explained. She let go of my hand. "Can't we go back with you?"

Detta POV-

If Zacky said no, my pregnancy hormones were going to kick into overdrive and I was going to bawl my eyes out, right there in his living room. "I don't see why not." he replied. "Good...because I don't want to be away from you any longer." I replied, taking his hand once more. "I don't want you to be, either...now come on, let's go get little man." he said. He opened the front door and it was still pouring rain outside. "Maybe we should wait." he suggested. "Let's just make a run for it." I answered. "Are you sure?" he asked. I nodded. "Okay...on three...ready?" I nodded once again and on three we ran. Zacky slipped halfway to the car, taking me down with him, landing flat on his back, with me on my hands and knees over him, laughing. "Fuck. Are you okay?" he asked. "Yes...are you?" I replied, wiping the water from my face, not that it really did any good. The rain was still pouring from the sky and there was no sign of it letting up. "Good...now...let's go get..." he started before I cut him off with a kiss. I had always wanted to kiss someone in the rain. Who better than Zacky? I pulled away and he pressed his lips to my forehead. "Let's go." I whispered. He nodded and I got to my feet, extending a hand to help him up. "I'm soaked now." he said. "You'll be okay...you can change when we get back. Let's go get Zacky..."

Zacky POV-

It was warm and dry in Detta's parents' place. It was nice, but small, and lacked the feeling of a home. I could tell Detta felt uncomfortable there. "He's in here." she said quietly, opening the door to the first bedroom in the hallway. The light was on and so was the TV. Familiar guitar riffs drifted to my ears. He was playing my song. "Stay here..." she whispered. I nodded and stood back so he couldn't see me. "Mommy!" Zacky squealed. "Hey buddy..." she said. "You're home early...and all wet." he told her. "Yeah. I got you something tonight..." she replied. "You did? What is it?" he asked excitedly. "Well..." she said. "Mommy...what is it?" he demanded. I slowly walked around the corner and into the room. "Hey little buddy." I said, a smile slowly spreading across my face. "ZACKY VENGEANCE!" he squealed, running toward me. I knelt down and caught him into a hug. "Did you miss me?" I asked him. "YES...and Mommy did too...are you gonna be boyfriend and girlfriend again now? Are we going back on tour?" He was full of questions and my eyes were welling up with tears. I had my lady back and I had my boy back. I was going to be a father. There was no possible way things could get any better.

Detta POV-

"Ugh...nausea." I said, leaning forward, my arms wrapped around my stomach. "You okay?" Zacky asked, rubbing my back. We were on the plane, awaiting takeoff. "Mommy gets sick a lot. I told her it was probably because she missed you." Little Zacky told him. I smiled softly. My son really was fucking adorable. "Yeah? Well maybe now she'll get to feeling better since we're all back together." Zack said, still rubbing my back. It wasn't helping the nausea subside, but it felt good. "I sure hope so." I said, sitting back up. I lifted the arm rest between Zacky and I and leaned my head on his chest, closing my eyes. "Sleepy?" he asked. "Exhausted." I replied. "She sleeps a lot, too." Little Zacky whispered, leaning across me. "Comes with the territory." I mumbled. The plane took off a few minutes later and when we landed, we had to rush to get back to the venue. "Zacky I don't think I can dance tonight." I said, a hand over my mouth. I felt like I was going to puke at any second. I was sick and tired of puking. This pregnancy was exactly like my first. The first two months were perfect. The rest of it would be hell. I wasn't prepared for hell. "Babe, you don't have to. I just brought you back to be with me...not to work." he told me. I nodded. I was almost certain if I opened my mouth, I'd be spewing water and crackers onto the floorboard of the car. Just hold it in until you get out of the car, Vendetta, I thought to myself.

Zacky POV-

Detta leaned over the trash can while I held her hair back as she threw up. I felt really bad for her. It had to suck being nauseated and exhausted all the time. "You okay?" I asked her as she stood back up. She nodded and wiped her mouth with the back of her hand. "I just need a cold shower and some air conditioning...and sleep. A lot of sleep." she replied, grabbing the handle of her suitcase. "You go ahead. I'll get this stuff..." I offered. "Are you sure?" she asked. "Yeah of course. Go on." I replied. I watched as she walked ahead and climbed aboard our bus. "Can I go watch you on stage tonight?" Little Zacky asked. "Um...I don't mind, but we'll have to ask your mom, okay?" I told him. "Okay...can I go ask her now?" he replied. "No, don't run ahead. We're almost there." I said. We got to the bus and I opened the door, letting him in ahead of me. "Mommy..." he called once he was at the top of the steps. I laughed and shook my head, pulling their things behind me.

Detta POV-

I turned the water in the boys' bus all the way to cold and threw my shoes off. I needed to cool down. That would help me feel better...I hoped. The bus was quiet and empty, the guys and Piper were all gone to get ready to hit the stage. They were just waiting on Zacky. "Mommy, can I go watch Zacky on stage?" my son asked through the bathroom door. "I don't care. Just stay still and don't run off." I told him, peeling my shirt from my body. It reeked of melted floral-scented deodorant and sweat. I gagged and tossed the shirt to the side. "Gross." I said to myself. "Detta, I'm gonna go...I'm taking Zacky with me." Zack said, knocking softly on the door. "Okay..." I answered, stripping down and stepping into the shower. The ice cold water felt amazing on my skin. Damn July and its insane temperatures. At least we weren't in the desert. It was cooler than back home, but still hot, at least to me. I showered until I was shivering, stepped out and wrapped myself in a towel before stepping out into the main part of the bus to find something to put on. My suitcases were sitting up by the door but I honestly felt too lazy and tired to even walk the ten feet to get them. I opened Zacky's bunk and dug through his bag of clean clothes until I found a shirt and a pair of his boxers. I slipped them on and climbed into his bunk, leaving the curtain open so the air could blow in on me. A tattered picture, taken a few days before I left, was stuck to the roof of his bunk. I couldn't help but smile. He had never given up on us. He still loved us, even though I left, even though I broke his heart. I hugged a pillow close to my chest and closed my eyes to nap before everyone came back.

I was awoken by a loud crash. Someone had undoubtedly tripped over my bags. I rolled out of the bunk and rubbed my eyes. "Detta!" Piper said, stepping over Johnny, who was trying to untangle himself from the straps on our duffle bags. "Hey...what time is it?" I asked, rubbing my eyes. "Umm...late. We just got in. Zacky brought you something to eat...get it and come back here with me. We need to talk." she said. I stared at her as she went into the back room and turned on the light. "I brought you something to eat...do you want it?" Zacky said, holding a bag up. "What is it?" I asked. "Chicken..." he said. I wrinkled my nose and shook my head. "Not right now." I turned around and walked to the back room where Piper was. "Shut the door." she told me. I shut it and laid on one of the couches, closing my eyes. "Detta..." she said. "What?" I replied. "We really do need to talk..." she said quietly, sitting down beside my head. "Like old times, huh?" I replied, opening my eyes. "Yep...now talk...why'd you leave? Really? Be honest with me. I'm the closest thing to a sister you've got..." Piper said. She spoke softly, almost in a whisper. She was right. She was my best friend, my son's Godmother, and as she said, the closest thing to a sister I had. She deserved the truth. "I was scared. I fell in love with Zacky so fast. He's only the second person I've ever loved, Piper." I replied, sitting up. I faced her on the couch, my legs crossed. "I know, Detta...and I know it can't be easy on you...but...he loves you. He loves you, and Zacky, and how many boyfriends have you had who you can say that for? One besides him. Most of them you had to hide Zacky from, or they'd run away when they found out you had him. Zack embraced you both and cares so much for the both of you. It really hurt him when you left." I nodded, blinking back tears. "I know, Piper. I know. I didn't know what else to do, though. So much was going on at once." I explained. So much meaning I fell in love with, became intimate with, and got pregnant by Zacky all within four months of meeting him. "So much happened? Detta, you could've talked to someone. To me...to Zacky...he would've listened. He would have backed off if things were moving too quickly. He would do anything for you." she said. "Piper, I'm pregnant." I blurted out. She stared at me for a moment before speaking. "I know, Detta." I blinked. She knew? How did she know? Had Matt told her? Would Matt break his promise to me? No, he wouldn't. Would he? "How did you..." I started. "The pregnancy test. You left the box behind. Zacky found it, and I covered for you. I knew it didn't belong to any of the girls on the bus, and I knew it wasn't mine...process of elimination, honey." she said. I folded my arms across my chest. "It could've been negative." I protested. "If it had been negative, you wouldn't have run away." She was right. I wouldn't have run away had it been negative. I just would have never told anyone that I thought I was pregnant and gone forward. But it wasn't negative, and I did run away. I wanted to believe that it didn't matter anymore because I was back, but it did. It mattered because I had hurt the two most important men in my life. I decided right then that there would be no more hurting either Zacky unless it was absolutely out of my control.

Zacky POV-

Detta and I slept together in my bunk with little Zacky below us the first night she was back. Well, Detta slept. I just watched her. The new dancers had til morning to clean the back room for Detta to move back in. They bitched a little, but not like the others would have. We had decided to tell everyone together about the baby, and soon. According to her, it wouldn't be long before she was showing. I didn't tell her, but she was already starting to get a tiny bump. It was a beautiful thing. I had never seen her look the way she did. She seemed to be glowing in a way. We woke the next morning after everyone else had. "You wanna get up?" I asked her, pushing a piece of hair from her face and kissing her forehead. "No. I wanna stay here...in your arms...forever." she replied, snuggling into my bare chest and closing her eyes again. "You don't wanna get up and tell everybody the news?" I whispered. "No. It can wait five more minutes." she replied. "Come on...let's go tell em." I said, poking her side. She squealed and pinched me. "Meanie." she pouted. "Oh you love me. And you missed me picking on you." I said, sticking my tongue out. "I did...come on..." she said, rolling out of the bunk. Her hair was a mess, but she looked beautiful anyway, dressed in my boxers and t-shirt. She walked out into the main part of the bus and stood, leaning against the wall watching everyone as they talked and ate. "Zachary..." she called. "I'm comin'." I mumbled, pulling a shirt over my head. "That's what she said!" Syn and Piper's voices said simultaneously. I flipped them both the bird and kissed Detta on the cheek before pouring myself some coffee. "You want some?" I asked her, turning around. "No. I can't have caffeine." she replied, sitting down next to Matt and Piper, pulling Zacky onto her lap. "Why not?" Johnny asked, shoveling oatmeal into his mouth. He reminded me of one of the kids off that movie Annie when he ate. "Well..." she started, a smile spreading across her lips. She looked to me, her eyes sparkling. "We're gonna have a baby." we said together. I heard three pieces of silverware clatter against bowls and plates. "You're gonna be a dad?" Johnny asked me. "Yep." I said, nodding. I was almost knocked over by Little Zacky, who took off running to the back room. I looked to Detta, who looked just as shocked as I did. "I don't know what happened. He just..." she said. "I got it." I replied, setting my coffee down. I walked to the back of the bus and opened the door. Zacky was sitting on the couch, knees pulled up to his chin, tears streaming down his face. "What's wrong little buddy?" I asked him. I took a seat next to him and put an arm around him. "You and mommy are gonna have a baby...and she's gonna be the baby's mommy, and you're gonna be the baby's daddy...I only have a mommy. I don't have a daddy. It's not fair." he said, tears streaming down his face. It broke my heart to see him like that. As far as I was concerned, he was my son. I would be his daddy. I may not be his father, but I would sure as hell be his daddy if he'd let me. "That's not true, Zacky." I said, wiping the tears from his face. "It is too...I don't have a daddy." he told me. "Zacky...come here. Let me talk to you for a minute." I patted my lap. He was hesitant, but climbed onto it anyway, leaning his head against my chest, tears still streaking his face. "I know you've never had a daddy around...but that doesn't mean you don't have one. I love your mommy, and I love you. Do you know that?" I asked. He nodded, still not speaking. "I may not be your father by blood, but if you want someone to call your daddy...someone to love you like a daddy...I'm always here for you." A tear slid down my cheek as his arms wrapped around my neck. "I always hoped you would be. I love you, Daddy." he whispered.

Detta POV-

I couldn't control the tears that were flowing from my eyes. I don't even think they noticed I was standing there, that I had heard every single word. I wiped the tears from my eyes and knocked on the door. "Hey you two." I said. "Hey Mommy..." my son replied, turning toward me, his arms still around Zacky's neck. I sat down next to them, my hands folded in my lap. "You okay?" I asked Little Zacky. "Yeah. Everything's okay now..." he answered. "Good. So...you're gonna be a big brother here in a few months." I told him, a hand moving to my belly. "I know. Is it a brother or a sister?" he asked. "We don't know yet. We won't know for a few more months..." I replied. "Why not?" he asked. I smiled warmly at him. "Well, the baby has to grow so the ultrasound machine can tell whether it's a boy or girl..." I explained. "Oh...when will you have it?" he asked. "In about six months." I replied. "SIX? That's forever!" he crossed his arms across his chest, glaring at me. "Well, the baby has to grow enough inside of mommy before it can come out into the world, or else it could get really, really sick." I honestly never imagined myself having this conversation with him. I never imagined falling in love again. I always thought it would just be me and Little Zacky after...

"Mommy...Zacky is gonna be my daddy now. Does that mean we're a family?" my son cut my thoughts off. I snapped out of my trance, giving him my full attention. I looked to Zack and then back to my son. "Yeah, I guess it does..." I replied softly.

Zacky POV-

The last month of tour seemed to fly by. I guess it was because I had Zacky and Detta back with me. It seemed like her belly grew every day. She could feel the baby move, but I couldn't. It was kind of discouraging, but she assured me it wouldn't be long. "I promise you, soon, you can feel it, too. I can feel it because it's inside of me. When it gets a little bigger, you can feel it too. It just feels like little butterflies right now, I promise." she would tell me. I would rub her belly anyway, kiss it, and tell the baby I loved it, though the book I was reading said it wouldn't hear me until Detta was about twenty-six weeks. I spent most nights alone in my bunk. Some of the other girls found it awkward for me to spend the night with Detta in the back room of their bus. I looked forward to the end of the tour now more than ever, when we could go home and I could hold her in my arms every night and not miss a minute of her pregnancy. "I think I need to go shopping for maternity clothes..." she texted me late one night. "You think so?" I replied, smiling. She had been borrowing my baseball and jogging pants since she got back. She wore them more often than her own jeans. "Yeah. I'm getting bigger a lot faster than I did with Zacky." she answered. "So go tomorrow." I told her. "I will. Can you watch Zacky?" she asked. "Of course babe. Just bring him over here. You gonna take Piper with you?" I replied. "Yeah. I'm gonna go to sleep though. I'll talk to you in the morning. We love you." I smiled and told her I loved them too, shut the light out in my bunk and closed my eyes.

Detta POV-

I stood on the side of the stage, watching Zacky and the rest of the band perform one of the last shows of the tour. I never got tired of watching them, especially Zacky. From time to time, he would look over at me and smile. He looked like he had something up his sleeve, but then again, he was working. The baby seemed to love the vibrations of the music. It was kicking and punching inside of me. I laid a hand on my little bump and rubbed it. This little kid was giving me hell. Piper and I hadn't had a chance to go shopping yet, but we planned on going as soon as we could. I was getting tired of wearing my jeans unbuttoned and Zacky's pants. "So, normally, we'd pull one of you motherfuckers up on stage for this song...but uh...Zacky here had something else in mind." Matt said to the crowd. Oh fuck. I turned around and started to walk away. I was NOT going on stage. No way. "Oh no you don't," Piper said, "Zacky, go get your woman!" I stopped and turned around, pouting. Zacky was laughing as he took me by the hand and led me out on stage. "Give it up for Detta!" Matt said. "Fuck you, Matt." I said into Zacky's mic. "You gonna do the damn song or not?" he asked, laughing. "I guess so." I said. "Alright. You know the words, right?" he replied. "What the fuck do you think?" I asked. "Damn, Zack. She's fucking fiesty." Matt said. "Must be them pregnancy horror-mones." Syn said. I flipped him the bird as they started the song. I'm sure I looked fucking stupid up there. I was nervous to the point of nausea, but having Zacky by my side was helpful. "You can do it." he whispered to me. I smiled back at him and took the mic off the stand. He just had no idea.

Zacky POV-

Detta took the mic and climbed onto the ego riser next to me. I silently wished she hadn't done that, especially not in her condition. I reverted to focusing on my playing the intro of the song. Detta started off the song strong. She honestly surprised me. I had no idea she had it in her. She hopped down and stood by Piper. I looked back and Piper was smiling at Detta, who was fighting a smile. Those two were up to something. They stood back to back and screamed. "What do you say?" and the crowd went nuts. My jaw dropped and I saw Piper laugh. She knew Detta could do that. I would have to talk to her about that later.

Detta POV-

I couldn't help but laugh at Zacky's expression during and after the song. "Mommy...I didn't know you can sing like Uncle Matt...you know, when he screams..." Little Zacky said, tugging on my hand. I laughed and knelt down in front of him. "Mommy hasn't sang like that in a long time. Uncle Shadow and Daddy just wanted to be mean to Mommy." I explained. "Oh. Well, can we go to the bus now? I'm tired." he asked. "Of course we can...come on." I took him by the hand and led him down the steps and back to the bus. It was long past his bedtime anyway. As I tucked him in, I thought about the new baby that would be with us in a few months. Time was already flying. My pregnancy was nearing the halfway point and the tour was almost over. Soon, I'd be home...in my new home, with Zacky and my...our son...I went into the front of the bus and turned on the tv, grabbing a bottle of water and some crackers and sat down. I had this awful feeling like something bad was going to happen. I nibbled at my crackers while flipping channels. There wasn't much of anything on, so I settled on music videos. I was just about to turn out all the lights and head to bed when the bus door flung open and Zacky ran up the steps. "We gotta go. Piper's...there's something wrong with her." he said, out of breath. "What?" I asked, frantic. I knew there was something wrong. "Yeah, we gotta go. Get Zacky. Come on." he said. "He's asleep...I can't lift him." I said, tears forming, threatening to spill. "Shit. I'll get him...Hello?" he said, answering his phone as he pretty much ran down the hallway to get Zacky. I slipped on my shoes and grabbed my purse, shaking and nauseated. "Zacky..." I called. "Hang on, Detta. The venue is gonna let us use their van. Let's go. They're coming now." he said, carrying a sleeping Zacky in his arms. I followed him down the steps and shut the bus, not worrying about locking it. A white van skidded to a stop in front of us, Syn at the wheel, Johnny in the front with him. We climbed in and I slammed the door shut, startling my son awake momentarily. "Where's Piper?" I asked. "They're taking her in the ambulance." Syn replied. "I knew that. I should have told you that. Babe, they're taking Piper in the ambulance." Zacky said. I shook my head, tightening my grip on his hand. God, please, let her be okay, I prayed silently. "What happened?" I asked. "She just fell to her knees on stage...she was in a lot of pain...I don't really know." Zack replied. "Yeah, we're playing Bat Country, and the next thing I know, I hear a loud ass fucking noise and I look over and see Zack and Matt knelt down in front of Piper..." Johnny added. "And we all ran to see what was going on and Matt carried her off stage to the ambulance. So Zack ran to get you while I found us a way to the hospital." Syn finished. "Do you know which hospital you're going to?" I asked him. He looked up in the mirror, eyes wide. "Fuck no. Shit. Someone call Matt." he said as an ambulance sped past us. "I'm willing to bet that's them." Johnny said. "Why do you say that, Christ?" Syn asked, pulling out his phone. "Because I saw Matt's head." he replied. "Are you sure?" Brian asked, the phone to his ear. "DAMN IT BRIAN JUST FUCKING FOLLOW THE AMBULANCE." I yelled, frustrated. "Jesus Christ, okay." he said, gunning the van. "Mommy, what's going on?" my son asked sleepily. "I don't know, buddy. Just go back to sleep. I won't yell anymore, I promise." I said.

Syn pulled the van in right as the ambulance was unloading Piper. "I told you it was them." Johnny said, opening his door. Syn mimicked him while pulling the keys out of the ignition, clearly annoyed by the fact that he had just been proven wrong by Johnny. "I swear. My four year old acts more mature than you two sometimes." I mumbled, running past them. "Piper..." I called, catching up to the stretcher. I grabbed her hand and walked with them as they wheeled her through a set of double doors and into a curtained room. "What's going on? What happened? Are you okay?" I asked her, my voice shaking. I looked up to Matt, who looked stunned, terrified, and on the verge of tears all at once. I reached across Piper and rubbed his arm in an attempt to comfort him. "I uh…don't really know. One minute I was cramping, the next I was…well I don't really know how to explain it." she replied. I squeezed her hand tightly as my baby kicked me hard in the ribs. Hellraiser, as Zacky called it. She screamed, clearly in pain. I had never seen her hurting this badly. "Okay, you know what, a doctor better get in here soon or my pregnant ass is gonna go fucking drag one in here." I said. I was frustrated, angry, hormonal, and worried sick over my best friend. Piper was one person that you just did NOT fuck with, and by neglecting the fact that she was in so much pain she was screaming for some dumb fuck who cut their finger cooking dinner or had a cough was fucking with her. "I don't know yet if I even want to see a doctor." Piper cried, tears flowing heavily down her cheeks. She was clearly terrified. "This cant be happening." she said, looking up at Matt. I could see the fear in his eyes as he bent down and kissed her forehead, assuring her everything would be okay. He was so damn good to her. I'd have to thank him for loving my best friend the way she deserved to be loved at some point in the near future.

My phone vibrated in my pocket. I pulled it out, opening the text from Zacky. "She okay?" he asked. "She's in a lot of pain. Still don't know what's wrong. No doctor yet. I love you." I sent back before shoving it back into my pocket. "What can't be happening?" I asked, looking back and forth between the two. Piper clenched her eyes shut, gritting her teeth, tightening her grip on my hand. "I'm in labor." she told me, breathless. My jaw dropped and I stared at Piper for a moment before shaking my head. I couldn't have heard her right. Piper, in labor? She was pregnant? "You're...are you..." I stuttered, my free hand resting on my belly. "I didn't know I was if I am, they think I am. My water broke on stage..." she said, "I've never prepared to be a mother." I rubbed her arm. "I'm here for you, Piper. Everything's gonna be okay." I said quietly. I didn't really know what to think, say, or do. I just knew that I wasn't leaving her side unless she wanted me to. I was scared for her. Being in labor sucked. I knew that. It was painful and emotional, even with preparation, and Piper had zero preparation. This had to be hard on her.

"God I hope so." Matt mumbled. "Okay, Miss, what seems to be going on?" the doctor's voice came as he pushed through the curtain. He was way too fucking chipper for my taste. " What took you so fucking long? She's in pain here. Haven't you heard her screaming? Or was the person who cut their finger cooking dinner screaming too loud over her for you to hear?" I snapped, letting go of Piper's hand, turning toward him. Matt smiled and Piper tried to force a laugh. "Don't mind her, that's the God mom, she's pregnant too." Matt said as the doctor lifted the blanket draping over Piper and looked at her. I could see him tense up as I turned back to hold Piper's hand again. "Well ma'am, you are fully dilated." the doctor said, his voice still chipper. I was gonna cut his ass if he didn't stop sounding like Dr. Happypants. . "But I'm not pregnant!" she stated, nearing a panic attack. "Well, the baby's head that is almost out says differently. I'm going to need you to push for me now, okay?" he replied. "Oh fuck. Piper...listen to me. This isn't going to be easy. You can do it, though. Just focus." I said, taking her hand into both of mine and squeezing it tightly. My phone vibrated in my pocket again. Zacky would have to wait. My best friend was about to have a baby. Matt leaned down and kissed her forehead as she readied herself to push. She tightened her grip on our hands, screaming in pain as she gave her first push.

Zacky POV-

We sat in the waiting room of the emergency department, waiting. I could hear Piper scream and every time I did, I cringed. I felt so bad for her. "Daddy, what's wrong with Auntie Piper?" Zacky asked. He had woken up when we got out of the van and had been badgering me with questions ever since. Not that I minded, I just had to remember he wasn't Johnny, though they were close to the same height, and I couldn't talk to him the way I did my bandmate. "Um...I'm not sure. I tried texting your mom but she's probably busy talking to the doctor or something. We'll find out what's going on soon. Just sit down and be patient, okay?" I said, patting the seat beside me. He sat down and tapped me on the arm. "Is Auntie Piper gonna be okay?" he asked. "Yeah, she'll be fine...the doctors are taking care of her." I said, taking his hand into mine. I pulled out my phone and started to text Detta again, but changed my mind. She was probably cussing out some doctor or nurse. "Why are hospitals so slow? You could come in here with a knife in your heart and they'd make you wait six hours before they attend to you. God forbid someone gets a papercut though." Syn said, crossing his arms against his chest. "No kidding." I replied. Time was dragging by. We'd only been there an hour, but it seemed like way more. I looked down at my phone. It was nearing midnight and my patience was wearing thin. I was about go get up and go back there myself. I mean seriously, who was going to stop me? The triage nurses were gossiping, they wouldn't even notice me walking to the back. "I'll be right back." I said, getting up out of my seat. My phone vibrated in my hand. One new picture from Detta. "What the hell?" I mumbled pressing accept. When I saw the picture, I was instantly confused. Why was Piper holding a baby? I hit reply and walked back to my seat. "Whose baby?" I asked. About that time, the double doors opened and a team of nurses was pushing a hospital bed, Piper on it, cradling the baby in her arms, Matt walking beside her, smiling like I'd never seen before. "Question answered?" Detta asked, walking out behind them, a smile on her face too. "Um...what the fuck?" Syn said, coming up beside me. "Piper and Matt had a baby." Detta said, still smiling.

ONE MONTH LATER

Detta POV-

Matt, Zacky, Piper and I all sat around the table, our dinner long gone. Matt's parents had taken Rev, Zack's had taken Little Zacky, and it was Piper and Matt's first time out since the surprise birth of their first child. "So how did you two meet?" Zacky asked, motioning to Piper and I. I could feel my smile fade and my heart sink. Piper grabbed my hand and gave it a squeeze. "We met through Chris," she said. I bit my lip, fighting back tears. It was so hard to talk about him. He had gone far too soon, and I missed him. "You guys met through your brother?" Zacky asked her. I nodded, swallowing hard. "Yeah...Chris and I were...uh...we were dating, and he introduced me to his family. Piper and I immediately hit it off...we've been best friends ever since." I said quietly, a single tear rolling down my cheek. I shook my head and wiped it away. "It's okay, Detta." Piper whispered, rubbing my thumb with hers. "I just really miss him." I said, my voice cracking. I was going to lose it right then and there if the subject didn't change. "You need to let it out, honey." Piper whispered, moving closer and wrapping an arm around me. I shook my head. "No...I'll be fine...he's...I just..." I broke into body racking, uncontrollable, heavy sobs. I had never really mourned Chris. It just all happened so suddenly. He was always there for me. He knew everything about me, inside and out. He had been my first love. And now, he was gone. He was never coming back. I would never have my Chris back. "Detta...Baby..." Zacky's voice whispered in my ear, his arms around me snugly. "I'm sorry. I just...I can't talk about him. I just can't." I whispered. "Let's pay and get outta here, okay? I'm sorry. I shouldn't have brought it up." he said, kissing my cheek. "No, it's okay...you didn't know...I'll be okay." I said, nodding. "Baby...you're tired, emotional, and five months pregnant. Let's go." He reached up and wiped the tears from my face and kissed the bridge of my nose. "I love you." I said, pressing my lips to his forehead. "I love you too...now let's get out of here, okay? You need to relax."

Zacky paid our part of the bill and we got into the car, heading for his parents' house and then home. "I'm really sorry for breaking down back there. I just usually don't talk about Chris." I said, looking out the window, my hands cradling my swollen belly. "It's okay, Detta." Zacky said, reaching over and laying a hand on my knee. I looked to him and forced a smile. "It's just really hard, ya know? I mean we were together for a really long time. He was my first everything...and he was just...taken away so quickly." I said, grabbing Zacky's hand. "I wish I could say I understand, but I don't. I know you'll always love him, though. You never really get over your first love...just know that if you ever need to talk about him or anything else, I'll listen to you." he told me.

"You are...so amazing, Zachary. I love you so much." I said, laying his hand on my belly. He was kicking again. We had found out the day after we got home that I was having a boy. We were all thrilled. "I love you, too. And Zacky...and this baby." he said, taking my hand once more.

Zacky POV-

By the time we got off tour, I learned that Detta was full of secrets that she'd tell when she was ready. Chris wasn't really a secret, I was just surprised that with all the time I'd spent around both Piper and Detta, I would've heard that Chris and Detta had been together. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't a tiny bit jealous of Chris; he had been Detta's first love, her first everything. However, I also knew deep down that had he never been with her, she and Piper would have never met, and I would've never had Detta, Zacky, or another son on the way. I pulled into my parents' driveway, walked up to the door, and let myself in. Zacky was sitting on my dad's lap, watching the baseball game. "You ready to go little man?" I asked. "No. I wanna stay here." he replied, not looking away from the TV. "You can come back...you gotta come home tonight, Zacky. Let's go. Your mom's waiting in the car." I stated. He climbed down out of the chair and grabbed his bag, slowly walking toward me. "Sorry little man. Mom wants you home tonight." I said. "See you later, son." my dad called. "Night, Dad." I shut the door behind me and walked with Zacky to the car.

Detta POV-

After Zacky tucked our son into bed that night, I sat down next to him in his office as he worked on some things for Vengeance University. "You okay? Feeling better?" he asked me. I nodded, leaning my head on his arm, wrapping my arms around his shoulders. "Yeah. Just tired. He's been kicking my ass from within today." I replied, covering a yawn. "You can go on to bed if you want. I'll be there soon." he answered. "Zack...if I go to bed now, I'll wake up alone in the morning and you'll be sitting here still, working on stuff for VU." I replied. He turned to look at me. "I know. I'm sorry. I have to get it done, though." I kissed his lips and laid my head back on his shoulder. "So I need to tell you something, but I don't want you to get mad at me." I said after a few minutes. "What is it?" he asked. "I used to be a cutter." I admitted. He stopped typing and turned to face me. "You did?" he asked. I nodded. It was a painful memory, and I hadn't done it in quite some time. "Yeah, before I met Chris and Piper...and then right after Chris died. I cut myself when I found out I was pregnant with Zacky. That's where this scar came from." I said, rubbing the scar on my belly. Most of the other cuts had only left faint scars, which were now covered by tattoos. "Why would I be mad at you for that?" he asked, brushing my cheek with the back of his hand. "I dunno..." I shrugged. "How long has it been?" he asked. "Three years. I cut myself the day Chris died and I haven't done it since..." I answered. He nodded and kissed my forehead. "So you cut yourself when you found out you were pregnant with Zacky? Why?"

I leaned back and stared at the picture of my boyfriend and son on the desk beside me. "I knew why I was pregnant. There was no question as to who his father was. Yes, I had slept with Chris, but we were always careful. He wouldn't have it any other way." I said. "I understand that." Zack said softly. "I remember the night I got pregnant with Zacky. Chris and the rest of the band were in Texas for a show...so I asked Dave, one of the regulars, to take me home. He said he would...well, when we got ready to go, he was pretty toasted, so I told him I'd find another way home. He wasn't having that. I tried to leave but he dragged me by the hair to the alley where you found me when you saved me...and he raped me. He left me laying there, bloody and crying. I was found by a cop, who called 911, and I went to the hospital. They did a rape kit and everything...Dave went to jail. A month later, I skipped my period...I never skipped a period, ever...and I found out I was pregnant. I wanted to die. I thought Chris would leave me and that Piper would hate me. I took a steak knife and sliced my stomach open, and then I collapsed in the kitchen floor of Piper's parents' house, bawling like a baby. Piper found me, took me to the doctor. They stitched me up and that's when I told her I was pregnant. She held me while we cried together. She's the best friend I've ever had."

Zacky wiped a tear from his own cheek before reaching over and wiping them away from mine. "I'm sorry, Detta." he said. "What for? Everything happens for a reason. I love my son...he's a good kid. Do I wish I had never gotten raped? Sometimes, yes...but some days I am so thankful for it...because had that never happened, I would've never had Zacky..." I replied. "You're right...but I am sorry you went through all that. You didn't deserve it. The bad things always seem to happen to the best people." he said. "I know it...like Jimmy...and Chris. I just wish I could've met Jimmy." Zacky nodded, a smile slowly spreading across his lips. "Jimmy was amazing...so funny. I miss him every single day. I wish he was still here...but like you said, everything happens for a reason...Jimmy was ready to go." he said. "I wish I could've known him...I wish you could've known Chris. He was a great person. I loved him...I loved our friendship. I think that's what I fell in love with, is our friendship. I loved him, but not like I love you." I said, playing with his fingers. "What do you mean?" he asked. "I mean Chris was good to me. He loved me. He loved Zacky...but not like you do. I can just tell a difference. Chris wanted to marry me...but I kept telling him no. It wasn't that I didn't love him, because like I've said, I did...I just couldn't see myself with him for the rest of my life. You? I can see us growing old together..."

Zacky POV-

Detta floored me. I had been contemplating asking her to marry me for a while. I was going to do it when I went and brought her back from Cali, but I chickened out because I was afraid she'd say no. I had the ring still, it was in my suitcase. Was it too soon? I felt like the time was right. "Stay here. I'll be right back." I said. "Where are you going?" she asked. "I'll be right back. Promise." I told her. I ran up the stairs and pulled my suitcase down from the top of the closet, unzipped it and reached in, pulling out the ring box. I slowly walked back down the stairs, hoping and praying for the best, hoping and praying she'd say yes. Sure, we had only been together going on seven months, but nothing about our relationship had been slow. She was five months pregnant, living with me, and her son called me 'daddy'. I wouldn't trade anything about us for anything in the world. I loved Detta, and I didn't plan on ever letting her go.

I was shaking nervous as I walked back into my office. This wasn't where or how I had pictured asking Detta to marry me, but I was going to do it anyway, right then and there. I knelt down beside her and cleared my throat. "Detta..." She turned to me, her eyes sparkling. "Yes?" she replied. I pulled the box out and opened it, showing her the ring. "Detta, I love you. I know we've only been together a few months, but like you said, I can see us growing old together. I'm not asking you to marry me because of what you said tonight, and I don't want you to feel pressured to say yes. I don't want you to think that I bought this ring and am proposing just because you're pregnant with my child. If you say no, that's fine, but I'm hoping to God you'll say yes. You're the first woman I've ever been faithful to...and I want to marry you. I've never really and truly wanted to marry anyone in my entire life...so.. Vendetta, will you marry me?"

Detta POV-

I gaped at Zacky for a moment. Was he serious? I couldn't speak, I could only nod. "You will?" he asked. I nodded once more, choking back tears. He slipped the ring onto my finger and stood up, kissing me before pulling me up by the hand. "Come on." he said. "Where are we going?" I asked. "To celebrate." he replied. I laughed. "Isn't that gonna be kind of difficult?" I said, motioning to my belly. He stopped and looked from my belly to me. "The doctor said it would be okay." he answered. I couldn't help but to burst out in laughter. "What's so funny?" he asked. "You. You're too damn cute for your own good." I said, rubbing my belly. "Well he did say it'd be okay."

Zacky was absolutely adorable, but even when I was pregnant with Little Zacky, I had never had sex after I started showing. "I know...and I probably just completely killed the mood. I'm sorry. " I replied, walking up the stairs with him. "You didn't. I'll be careful, I promise. I won't hurt you, or the baby. Swear." he said. I laughed and shook my head. "Come on." I coaxed, pulling him into the room. He shut the door and locked it so that Zacky wouldn't interrupt. "Seriously?" he asked. "I've never done this before. Not while I was this pregnant, anyway. I didn't mean I've never had sex before. Clearly I have. Just not...I'm rambling." I said, running a hand through my hair. Zacky put his hands on my hips and pulled me to him, kissing my forehead. "It's cute though...really." he said. I shook my head. "I only ramble when I'm nervous. Nervous is not cute." I said. "Detta, if you don't wanna do this we don't have to. I swear though, I won't hurt you."

It wasn't that I didn't believe Zacky. I did, I was just scared to death. I had read somewhere that sex was one of the best ways to induce labor, and I didn't want to go into early labor. "I'm just scared...what if something happens? I know you won't hurt me, but what if...you know...what if..." I rubbed my stomach and looked off to the side. I didn't really know how to finish what I was saying. "Babe...like I said...if you don't wanna do this, I don't want to pressure you. I love you." he kissed my lips softly and sat down on the bed, pulling me onto his lap. "I'm getting too heavy for you to do that." I said, wrapping my arms around his neck. "Nah. It's cool." he said, laying a hand on my stomach. "He's actually calm right now." I replied. "I noticed."

We were both silent for the next few minutes, my mind running wild trying to decide what to do. "You okay?" Zacky asked. I snapped out of my trance and looked down at him. "Yeah...I'm fine. Just thinking...are you sure this is okay? I mean...it won't send me into early labor or anything will it?" I replied. He shook his head. "No, I don't think so. Do you want me to call the doctor and make sure before we...because I don't want you to be uncomfortable." he said. "No, no...it's okay. If you still want to, we can." I told him, nodding. "Okay...there's just one thing. There's only a few ways we can do this." he said. "What do you mean?" I asked, eyes wide. "Maybe we should just wait." Zacky said. "No, I don't want to. What do you mean?" I demanded. "I mean there's only certain positions that are safe for the baby...and for you." he answered, his cheeks flushing a light pink. I turned his face to mine. "We've had sex on stage, in your parents' house, in the bus, and all over this house, in about a hundred different positions, and you're blushing telling me there's only a few we can use now that I'm pregnant?"

Zack smirked and leaned down, kissing my belly through my shirt. "Yeah, I guess so. So, you ready?" he asked. He still had that devilish smirk that I loved so much. It made him so damn irresistable. "Well, not quite. That's on you." I said, getting up and turning off the light. "Why are you turning that off?" he asked, flipping the switch back on. "I just figured since I'm pregnant now, it won't be the same...that way maybe with the lights off, you can remember how I looked before..." I replied. Zacky shook his head and smiled. "Baby, you've never been more beautiful to me." I smiled and hugged him around his waist, nuzzling my head against his chest. "You smell fantastic." I said. "Do I?" he replied, sniffing his shirt. I couldn't help but giggle. "Mhm, you do." I replied, pulling on his shirt tail. He stuck his hands beneath mine, rubbing my bare belly. "You ready?" he asked once more. I bit my lip, nodding sheepishly. "Okay...come here." he said, sitting back down on the bed. He pulled me toward him. "This is one way we can do this...if this is comfortable for you...or..." he said, standing back up. He turned me around and gently pushed me down on the bed. "We can do it this way." He pulled my hips toward his and wrapped my legs around his waist. "What else?" I asked. He pulled my legs from around him and motioned for me to stand up. When I did, he gently bent me over, my hands on the edge of the bed, and pressed against me from behind. "This." he said in a near whisper. "You don't mean..." I started. There was no fucking way. He knew better. He laughed. "No babe...just...from behind. Not like that...we've done this before." he said. "I know...I just...we could try all of them." I suggested. "Feeling adventurous tonight, my love?" he said, turning me to face him again.

"Little bit." I replied, running a hand down his chest, tugging on the waistband of his shorts. He looked down at my hand and back up into my eyes. "You're absolutely sure about this?" he asked. "Positive. Just be gentle." I said, slipping a finger between his skin and the elastic of his boxers. He cupped my chin in his hand and kissed me gently, but passionately. It still gave me butterflies when he did that. I pulled him by the hands toward the bed, pulling him down next to me. He lifted my shirt and kissed my belly softly, sending shivers down my spine. "So what do you want do first? From behind? The side? You on top...you pick." he said. I pushed him over onto his back and straddled him, my knees on either side of his waist. "I guess I have my answer." he replied, hands on my hips. I smirked and shook my head. "No...not this one...first...you know what you have to do." I told him.

Zacky POV-

Detta laid on her back, hips at the edge of the bed as I prepared her for what was to come, strumming and tapping a slow rhythm within her. "I'm so...glad...I'm...you're a guitarist." she said between breaths. "Why is that?" I asked her, kissing her belly once more. There was something about her being pregnant that really turned me on. I cannot count the times I had to take a cold shower just after a look she would give me or after seeing her get out of the shower, soaking wet, wrapped in a towel that wouldn't quite wrap all the way around her anymore. She was more beautiful to me now than ever, and I couldn't explain it. By then, we had been together long enough for me to know how long it took to get her ready for me. It seemed to happen a lot faster now that she was pregnant, or it may have been the fact that it had been since we got back together that we'd had sex, but she was ready sooner than usual. "You never answered me." I said, pulling my shirt off. Her hands ran up my body and across the green deathbat on my chest.

"What do you mean?" she asked, nipping at my collarbone. I laughed and kissed her lips. "Nothing..." I replied. "Hmm...I love you." she said, raking her nails down my back. I bit my bottom lip, breathing in slowly through my nose as I entered her. It had been a while. I felt like I'd forgotten how she felt around me in a way. Her head lolled back as I kissed her throat, moving in and out of her. "Zack..." she whispered, closing her eyes. "Open your eyes..." I said, kissing her lips. She shook her head, moving her hands from my back to her belly. "You okay?" I asked her, stopping. She nodded, smiling. "Don't stop." she told me. I pulled back and laid my hands on top of hers. "He's moving around a lot." she said, giggling. "I feel that...are you sure you don't want me to stop?" I replied. She nodded. "Don't stop...please," she said. I didn't move my hands from her belly as I started again. There was something about feeling my son move inside of her as we made love that was a huge turn on for me. It was intimate in a way that I can't even begin to describe...it was beautifully amazing.

Detta POV-

Later that night, I rolled out of bed and wandered into one of the extra rooms. I couldn't sleep, the baby was snuggled up into my ribcage, and every time I would roll over to my other side, he would move, too. It was going to be a long night, but I wasn't going to let lack of sleep get to me. I'd had the most amazing night with my fiancee'...I smiled broadly at that word...I had an amazing son, and another one on the way. I rubbed my belly as I sat on the bed, pulling one of my old photo albums out of a box next to the bed. I wiped a layer of dust off the cover and flipped it open. Pictures of Chris and I, Piper and I, Little Zacky and myself, and many others were stuck beneath the clear protective film. I traced the outline of Chris' face with my fingertip, a faint smile across my lips. I missed him, but it was time to move on. He would be okay with me moving on. After all, it had been four years almost. From Chris, my eyes wandered to a picture of me, in the hospital, cradling my son in my arms for the first time, with Piper cheesing at my side. Chris had taken the picture nearly five years beforehand, almost to the day. I could see Kale in the background, and Piper's mom and dad...my family. The only family I really had that cared about me, minus my grandparents in Italy. I missed Nonna and Papa. I wished they could be there for the new baby's birth, but I knew it was a long shot. They were both old, and poor. I could never ask Zack for any money to help me get them to California, I just didn't have it in me. I turned the pages slowly, old memories flooding back, bringing a smile to my face. I was lost in a memory of the last summer before Nonna and Papa went back home when Zack knocked softly on the door. "What are you doing?" he asked. My son wiggled around when his dad spoke and I couldn't help but giggle. "Just thinking...looking at old pictures," I said, tapping the book in front of me. He crossed the room and took a seat next to me. "Is that Chris?" he asked, pointing to a picture of me and Chris on Little Zacky's first Christmas...Chris' last. I nodded. "Yep, that's him...and Little Zacky...and there's Piper, and Kale...and that's Regan...he's the one who...um...he shot Chris," I told him. He nodded and flipped the page. Pictures of Piper and I were placed randomly, pictures of Little Zacky on his first birthday, and on the page opposite it, was a single picture of Chris and Jimmy, taken just a few days before Jimmy passed. "Jimmy..." Zack whispered. "Yeah...Chris met him a few times...I remember they were in Asia, and you guys were, too...Chris called me in the middle of the night and told me he had met you, Jimmy, and Brian...and I remember telling him how excited I was for him. In reality, I was so jealous...especially because he met you and Jimmy. Don't get me wrong, I love Brian...but you, you were always 'mine'...and Jimmy...well, he was...I wish I could've met him...is that selfish?" I asked, tears brimming in my eyes.

"Not at all." Zack whispered, taking my hand into his. "I want to name our son after Jimmy," I said. "You want to name him after...really?" he replied. I nodded, wiping a tear from my cheek, a smile pulling at the corners of my mouth as thunder rumbled in the distance. "I do. I want to name him after Jimmy. I know Piper and Matt did, but I want to do the same. Zacky's named after you...I wanna name this one after Jimmy," I said, pointing to my belly. "So do you want to name him James? Or Owen? James Owen?" he asked. I shook my head. "Plague," I said. "Plague? Like...Reverend Tholomew Plague?" he replied. "Plague Owen Baker," I said.

Zacky POV-

Detta and I made love again after she told me she wanted to name our son after Jimmy. By the time we were finished, it was daylight and we got maybe an hour of sleep before Little Zacky woke up. "Tomorrow's my birthday." he said, sitting at the dining room table as I poured him a bowl of cereal. Detta brushed her fingers across my lower back as she walked past, smiling up at me when I cut my eyes at her. "Did you hear me, Daddy?" Little Zacky asked. "Yeah, buddy, I heard ya. I know it is. We're gonna have you a party here, okay? We'll invite over everybody, and have cake and presents and all, okay?" I told him. I heard a piece of silverware clatter to the counter and Detta ran out of the kitchen. "Mommy must be sick again," Little Zacky said, shoveling cereal in his mouth. "Probably. I'm gonna go check on her. Slow down eating, okay?" I said, leaving to check on Detta. She was kneeling in front of the toilet in the downstairs bathroom, dry heaving. "Babe, you okay?" I asked, running cold water over a washrag before kneeling down next to her. She took the rag from me and wiped her face, flushing the toilet. "Yeah. He just went a little nuts inside of me and it made me nauseated," she told me, standing up. "You wanna go eat something? Maybe that'll make you feel better..." I offered as we walked out of the bathroom. "Yeah...I hope it will. I'm starving," she said, taking my hand. "In a little bit I'll call Brian and everyone...invite them over for tomorrow...and we can go get stuff to cook out or something for Zacky's birthday...get him a cake...decorations, whatever," I told her, pulling a chair out at the table for her to sit. "That would be awesome...wouldn't it, Monkey?" she said, ruffling Zacky's hair. He nodded, still eating his cereal. "What do you want to eat?" I asked her, opening the refrigerator. "I can fix it," she said, rubbing her stomach. "I'll get it. What do you want to eat?" I repeated. "You're gonna think I'm weird," she told me. "Vendetta..."

"Zachary," she replied. "Tell me what you want," I told her. She shook her head, standing up. She walked over to the refrigerator and opened it up, pulling out a jar of pickles, a carton of eggs, and a bag of cheese. "Pickles and eggs and cheese?" I asked. "Told you," she said, pulling a bowl down out of the cabinet. She cracked the eggs into the bowl, added some cheese, and beat them before chopping up a pickle and stirring it in. "Do you know if we have any bacon?" she asked, looking in the refrigerator again. "I don't think we do," I replied. "Well shit...I mean shoot..." she said, pouring the egg mixture down the drain. She ran the garbage disposal and set the bowl in the sink. "I would've gotten you some bacon..." I told her. She pulled a pickle out of the jar and sat up on the counter, taking a bite. "No, it's okay. I'll just eat this," she told me.

Zacky and I left Detta at home to nap while we went to the supermarket for party supplies. "What do you want to have to eat tomorrow?" I asked him as I set him in the buggy. "Um...steak...and chicken," he said. "Okay, we can get steak and chicken. Anything else?" I replied. "Potatoes...and my mommy likes salad. You should get her one," he said. "Okay, potatoes, salad...what kind of cake do you want?" I asked, stopping on the produce aisle. "I always wanted a deathbat cake," he told me. "I don't know if we can get one this short notice, but we'll see if we can, okay?"

Detta POV-

The next day, my son had his first real birthday party, complete with the members of Avenged Sevenfold in attendance and a deathbat cake. "This is like his dream party, Zack," I told my fiance as we sat on the edge of the pool. "Yeah? It's what he wanted...and you only turn five once, so why not give him what he wants?" he replied, taking a sip of wine. "Are you gonna say that every year?" I asked him, laughing. "Probably...for him, and Plague...these kids are gonna be spoiled, just like Gavin and Gianna," he said, speaking of his neice and nephew. They were the only experience he'd had with kids until I came along with Zacky, he'd told me. They were his older sister, Zina's kids. He had a little brother, who was a couple years younger than me, but Matt didn't have any kids, at least not yet. His parents were absolutely thrilled that we were having a baby together and that he was finally ready to settle down. We had announced our engagement earlier, after his parents, siblings, and bandmates had arrived. "Mommy...Daddy...can I get my lip pierced?" Little Zacky asked from behind us. "Get your lip pierced?" I asked him. "Yeah, like you, and Uncle Shadow, and Uncle Johnny." he said. "I don't think so. You're too little for that, still," Zack told him. Zacky put his hands on his hips. "Then explain how Uncle Johnny got his done," he demanded. I couldn't help but lay back, holding my belly, as I laughed until I cried. Zack tried not to laugh, but failed, as he explained that, even though Johnny was small, he was still a grown up and he could do things like get tattoos and piercings.

"Zack, Detta, we're gonna go home, it's getting late..." Zack's mom said, laying a hand on my shoulder. "Thank you so much for coming...and thank you for Zacky's gifts," I said, laying my left hand on top of hers. "No problem, Sweetie. And congratulations again," she replied, smiling. My eyes wandered to my ring and I couldn't help but smile. "Thank you." I said once more. We said our goodbyes as people slowly left, until it was only Piper, Matt, Zack, myself, and our kids, who had all fallen asleep. "Now to clean up..." I said, standing in the kitchen. "Go sit...I'll do it," Zack said, taking the garbage bag from me. "Are you sure?" I asked, wrapping my arms around my belly. "Yes. Go," Zack said, kissing me, and then my belly. Plague wiggled around, tickling my insides. I couldn't help but to laugh. "What's so funny?" Piper asked. "Plague's moving around and it tickles." I told her, rubbing my stomach. "Plague?" she asked, raising an eyebrow. Zack and I exchanged a look and a smile. "Mhm. Plague. Plague Owen," I told her. "Please tell me you're gonna call him Owen," she said. I shook my head. "You named your kid Reverend..." I said matter-of-factly.

"I did..." she replied. "Yeah...so what's wrong with Plague? You know I always wanted to name my kid something odd anyway...and with Zacky it just didn't happen. Zachary Michael isn't odd at all. Now, I have a chance. His name's gonna be Plague Owen Baker," I said. Piper shrugged, sitting on the arm of the couch. "I think it's pretty badass," Matt said, laying a hand on my shoulder. "Thanks...we wanted to pay tribute to Jimmy, too, ya know? It just feels right," I told him. "I get that," Piper said. "So, you're gonna give marriage another go, huh?" Matt asked Zacky. "Yeah, but this time, it's because I want to get married. Not to satisfy some spoiled little brat because it's what she wants. I'm happy, I love Detta, and I love Zacky...and Plague, even though he's not here. Is that possible?" he replied. I smiled at him. "Of course it is," I said.

"Good...but yeah, man, I'm gonna give it another go, so-to-speak...but like I said, this time, it's real...real love..." he said, closing the dishwasher and starting it. I walked over to him and wrapped my arms around his waist. "I love you," I said. "I love you, too," he replied, kissing my forehead. "You wanna go set up Zacky's swing set?" Matt asked a few seconds later. "Yeah man. Let's go,"

Zack and Matt went out to the backyard to put the swing set Zacky's parents had gotten him together while Piper and I talked. "So...he proposed..." she said, staring at my ring. I looked down at it and back up at her. "He shocked the hell out of me. It was so random...but I'm happy, Piper. I love him. I love him so damn much...and he loves me...I know he does...he told me last night I'm the only girl he's ever been faithful to...and that I'm the only one he's ever actually wanted to marry..."

"He told you he's the only one he's ever been faithful to?" Piper asked. "Yeah," I replied, staring out the sliding glass doors at the two men as they pulled pieces out of the big box that was sitting on the patio. "Detta, did he ever tell you about that night before he came to..." she started. "Came to get me? Yeah. He did...but he stopped her. He was drunk and he didn't realize what he was doing...and besides, I was gone...I'd left him. We weren't even technically together, so it wasn't really cheating. He told me he felt horrible...that he stopped her because he felt like he was cheating on me and he didn't want to do that. I know about that night, Piper..."

"I was just making sure..." she said quietly. "I know, Piper. We're pretty honest with one another...some things come out later than others, but we know each other pretty well..." I told her. "Zack's a good guy...a great guy. He really loves you and Little Zacky..." she told me. "I know...he's wonderful, and perfect, and amazing, and...mine...I'm gonna marry him, Piper," I said, tears threatening to fall.

The phone rang, shaking me from my focus on the boys in the backyard. "Hello?" I answered. "Principessa!" the voice on the other end said. I dropped the phone, my hand flying up to my mouth. "Papa," I whispered. "Detta...what's wrong?" Piper asked, standing up. I reached down and picked the phone up quickly. "Papa?" I said again. "Si...how are you, my little angel?" my grandfather asked. "Papa, I can't believe it's you...how did you...how did you get this number? I know Mama and Daddy didn't give it to you, did they?" I said. "They did...reluctantly, but si, they did. Now, answer my question. How are you?" he said. "Oh Papa...I'm wonderful...absolutely wonderful. I have an amazing fiance, and we're going to have a baby in a few months," I said. "That your grandpa?" Piper mouthed. I smiled, nodding. "Oh, that's wonderful news. Boy or girl?" Papa asked me. "Another boy," I replied. "Ohh, a little bambino, huh? What does Zachary think of this?" he asked me. "He's excited. You know he turned five today," I said. "I know, I cannot believe he's already five. I bet he's getting big, isn't he?"

"Oh he is, Papa, and he's so smart...he starts school soon...my little monkey is growing up," I told him. "And my little principessa is all grown up! Getting married! Tell me about him...what's his name?" Papa asked. I smiled and looked out once again at Zacky. "His name's Zack...he's Italiano, Papa...half, anyway," I told him. "Oh, then he must be a good man." he replied. I laughed. "He is, Papa, he's a very good man."

I talked to my grandfather for another fifteen minutes about Zack and the things that had been going on in my life before telling him goodnight. I laid the phone on the counter and looked at Piper, a smile on my face. "Piper, I can't believe my parents gave him the number here...he said Nonna was asleep, that he'd just been thinking about me, so he wanted to call...he knew it wasn't too late here, so he wanted to call...oh my God...he said he wished that he could be here for my wedding, but they just couldn't afford it..." I told her. "I'm glad he called...and why don't you pay for them to come over? You've got the money from tour, don't you?" she asked. "I spent it all paying off old bills." I replied. "Well, maybe I can help..." she said. "No, no, don't do that...please." I answered. She sighed, shrugging. "Okay, but don't say I didn't offer."

Zacky POV-

Detta walked upstairs after kissing me goodnight, leaving Matt, Piper, and I sitting in my living room talking. They had decided to spend the night so as not to wake Rev, plus Matt had been drinking and Piper didn't feel like driving. Anytime someone had been drinking with us, they didn't drive. "So, Detta's grandpa called today," Piper said. "Her grandpa?" I replied. "Yeah, you know the one in Italy? The one she always talks about," she told me. "I know who you mean...how did he get our number?" I asked. "Detta's parents, I guess...but they talked for a good while. She wants them here for you guys' wedding pretty bad..." she told me. "Why can't they come?" I asked her. "They can't afford it, and Detta already spent her money she made working the tour on bills, she said. I offered, but she told me no," Piper answered. "Well...maybe I can do something...don't tell her, though. Did his number show up on the caller ID?" I asked. "No, but she wrote it down. It's in that black book by the phone..." Piper said, pointing. "What time is it in Italy?" I asked, looking at my watch. "Late, I think...what time is it here?" she answered. "Ten...hang on..."

I looked up the time in Italy and walked over to the kitchen counter, leafing through the pages until I found Detta's grandparents' phone number. I dialed it and hit send, a sudden nervousness washing over me. The phone rang several times before an older man's voice, laced with a thick Italian accent answered the phone.

"Mr. Gianni? My name's Zack Baker...I'm marrying your granddaughter."

Over the next few months, I talked to Detta's grandparents nearly as much as she did, but she never knew. I arranged for them to come to California for our wedding once we set the date. It would be a while, but I knew it would mean the world to Detta for them to be there for that. As time passed by and our son's birth grew closer, Detta and I also seemed to grow closer. We spent a lot of time with Matt and Piper and baby Rev. I had so much to learn about babies, and spending time with them helped a bit, but I was still nervous. Detta seemed so cool about it all, she wasn't afraid or nervous in the least.

Her due date was only a week away. I dreaded leaving her alone for even a second, fearing I'd miss something. "Zack..." she said, shaking me awake. I opened my eyes and wrapped an arm around her, pulling her close to me. "What time is it?" I asked, breathing in the scent of her hair. It smelled the same as it always did, warm sugar cookies. "Plague has kept me up all night...time is irrelevant right now. I just want you to hold me so I can go back to sleep." she said. "Well go back to sleep. I'll stay here with you til I have to get up." I told her, kissing her hair. The bedroom door creaked open just as we both closed our eyes and Little Zacky climbed up on the bed behind me. "Daddy..." he said, shaking me. I opened one eye and looked over at him. "Shhh...Mommy's sleeping. She hasn't been able to fall asleep all night." I whispered. "But I gotta go to school." he told me quietly. "Okay...hang on. I'll get up and take you...give me a minute to get up and get ready, okay? Do you have everything ready to go?" I asked. He nodded and slid off the bed, leaving the room. I was torn on whether or not to wake Detta. It was, after all, her firstborn's first day of school. It would probably be best to ask if she wanted to go...just in case. "Detta...babe..." I said, rubbing her arm. "What?" she mumbled, not opening her eyes. "I'm about to take little man to school...do you wanna get up and go with us?" I asked, pulling a shirt on. She opened her eyes and looked over at the clock. "It's his first day...I can't miss this." she said. "Well come on...he's ready to go." I told her. She threw the covers off of herself and got out of bed, holding her belly. "You okay?"

She smiled and nodded, opening the closet to find something to wear. "I swear, nothing fits anymore." she said, pulling on one of the dresses she'd been wearing most days for the last month. "Well...you have a good excuse." I told her. She brushed her hair back into a loose ponytail and put a pair of sunglasses on, slipping her flip flops onto her feet. They were the only shoes that fit, too. "Ready?" she asked me. "Yep. Let's go...oh, and by the way...I don't mind if Zacky wears what he's got on to school, but you may..." I warned her. She grabbed her camera off the dresser and turned to face me. "Why? What is he wearing?" she replied.

"Are you guys ready yet? I've been waiting for hours!" Zacky said from the doorway. He was dressed in an Angels t-shirt and jeans, which were rolled up, baseball socks, and tennis shoes. Detta giggled and knelt down to his level. "You look so cute, Monkey. Are you sure this is what you wanna wear to school, though?" she asked him. He nodded, smiling. "Okay, well let Daddy take a picture of us and we can go, okay?"

I took her camera from her and took their picture, gave Detta the camera back, and she took one of Zacky and I. "What about one with both of you? I've got a second." Zacky said. I laughed, sticking my hands in my pockets. "Come here." I said, holding my hands out. I picked him up and held him between Detta and I while she snapped the picture. We dropped Zacky off at school and went to get the pictures developed before I left Detta at home to head to the radio station to do an interview with Matt and Piper. "You gonna be okay? Do you want Johnny or someone to come stay with you so you're not alone?" I asked Detta as I got out of the car and walked into the station. "Zack, I'll be fine. I'm just having mild contractions every hour or so. It's okay. It's to be expected this close to my due date." she replied. "Okay...well call if you need me, okay? I love you...and Mom's gonna pick up Zacky and bring him home for you, okay?" I told her. "I love you too...and okay...I'll see you when you get home."

Detta POV-

I hung up the phone and rubbed my stomach, shifting uncomfortably on the couch for the hundredth time. I would be so fucking happy when Plague was born. I was sick of being uncomfortable, peeing twenty times a day, and feeling constant pressure on my pelvis. I hadn't slept well in weeks, I couldn't see my feet, and my ankles had ceased to exist. Still, Zacky told me I was beautiful every single day, and helped me do the things I was no longer able to do. I couldn't fit behind the steering wheel of the car at all, and even my maternity clothes were snug and uncomfortable. I didn't remember being that big my first time. I looked over at the clock on the cable box; it was almost time for Zacky, Matt, and Piper's radio interview with the local station. I flipped off the TV and waddled to the stereo, turning it on and sitting down on the chair by the fireplace.

"Hey yo, welcome back to 104.3 "The Beast", I'm here with M. Shadows, Zacky Vengeance, and Piper Profanity from Avenged Sevenfold. Today we're doing your questions, you call, they'll answer. First caller!" the DJ said. "Hey, so are you guys going to make a new album? You know, with Piper on it?" was the first question. "Uh…yeah probably. We have a bunch of ideas and stuff floating around right now, so we'll see when," Matt replied. I could practically hear the smile in his voice. "So, where's the weirdest place you've had sex?" was the next caller's question. Oh God. Oh God. Zacky had better not answer that question. He better not. I'll kill him, I thought to myself. "I had sex on stage one night. After the show." Zacky laughed. "Damn you Zachary." I mumbled, rubbing my belly as Plague kicked. He knew his dad's voice. Matt answered next. "Well I got head on another bands bus before."

My jaw dropped. "No he didn't! Oh my God." I said aloud, a hand over my mouth. The DJ burst out laughing. "Was it from you?" he asked. I could see Piper turning red, though she was a good half hour away. "Wait so you two are the ones who broke onto Bullet's bus on tour last year?" Zacky asked. Matt roared with laughter. "So there you have it. Weirdest place I've had sex, I got head on Bullet For My Valentine's bus. Next question. You're on with Avenged Sevenfold." he said. "So you gave M. head? How much can you deep throat Piper?" a guy caller asked. Oh hell no. Who the hell was he to ask my best friend that kind of question? "How fucking rude." I mumbled, walking into the kitchen to get a bottle of water. I sat back down in the chair and unscrewed the lid, taking a sip. "Me." Matt said.

Water spewed from my mouth. "MATTHEW." I squeaked, covering my face. I was embarassed for Piper. I imagined she was beet red by then. "Google horse cock." Zacky added. My jaw dropped, my face still covered. Zachary James Baker...I picked up the phone and dialed the station number, but the line was busy. I hung up and hit redial. I was gonna get through to that station. "So Matt, how big are you?" the next caller asked. She sounded like she was about twelve. Like she needed to know how big he was. Perverted ass children. The line was still busy. "DAMN KIDS!" I said, hanging up and hitting redial again. "I'm about 6'2"." Matt replied. I snickered. That wasn't what she meant. "No, I mean how big is your dick?" the girl said. There was a short pause. "Too big for you. Next caller." Piper said, her tone icy. Ouch. I laughed and hit redial again, this time the phone rang. "Please hold...we have a few ahead of you." the girl said. "Thanks." I replied, smirking. I was gonna get Zacky, and get him good. He would never tell anyone to google horse cock again. "Google horse cock," I heard from the speakers once more. "DAMN IT ZACHARY!" I said. Matt and Piper went back and forth a bit before taking the next call. "So what are some of your pet peeves?" the girl asked.

"When people assume my fiancee is a whore. She's not a whore…she's just a stripper…well she used to be…then I got her pregnant. Matt…pet peeve." Zacky replied. "Awww." I said to no one. That was really sweet, but I was still gonna fuck with him. Piper and Matt answered their pet peeves, talked about Rev, and someone asked Matt about something he'd apparently said a long time before that. They disappeared, according to Zacky, leaving him alone in the studio with the DJ. It was my turn. I snickered as the DJ answered my call. "Hello, you're on with Zacky Vengeance from Avenged Sevenfold. What is your question or comment?" he said. "Hey...um...so, Zacky, if you could pick one of your bandmates to have a threesome with you and your girl, who would it be?" I asked. "Umm...I don't really know...Piper, I guess." he replied. "Piper?" I answered. "Yeah. I don't think I could uh...you know...with her and another guy," he replied. "So you'd pick your girlfriend's best friend?" I asked. Was he serious? "Umm...I guess." he said. "So have you ever thought about boning Piper?" I snapped, my Italian accent slipping. "Ew...no...never. Gross...I mean Piper's beautiful and all but...wait a minute...Detta?" he said. Damn it. I'd been caught. "_Lei sarà fortunato se lei mai prende il sesso di nuovo!_" I said to him in Italian. Woah. I hadn't done that in a long time. "What did you say?" the DJ asked. "I told him he'd be lucky if he ever got laid again," I replied, holding back a laugh. "Your girl speaks another language?" the DJ asked Zacky. "Yeah, she's Italian," he replied. "Oh damn. Italian girls are pretty hot." the DJ told him. "Who are you tellin'? My girl's the most beautiful woman in the world. I love you baby!" he said. "Kiss up," I scoffed. "You love me." he teased. "Mhm. Sì. L'amo. Lei è un asino, nonostante. " I replied, once more in Italian. "You better be careful, he may have to leave the interview early if you keep talking to him like that." the DJ laughed. "I know. He likes it when I speak Italian to him." I replied. "So does she talk to you in the bedroom like that?" the DJ asked. "Ummm..." Zacky said. I burst out laughing. Now our sex life was being broadcast to all of Orange County. "Okay. I'm gonna let you guys take another caller. L'amo, Zachary." I said, hanging up the phone.

Zacky POV-

We wrapped up the interview and went our seperate ways. I picked up something for dinner and headed for the house, anxious to get home to Detta and Little Zacky. He'd be getting home soon, and the dad in me wanted to hear about his first day of school. My mom was pulling out of the driveway just as I pulled in. "Seems like Zacky had a rough day at school." she told me, rolling down her window. "Uh oh...what happened?" I asked. "Not sure, he just said he was never going back..." she replied. I sighed and nodded. "I'll talk to him." I told her. We said goodbye and I got out of the car, grabbing the groceries and heading into the house. "Zacky..." I called, opening the front door. "He's upstairs." Detta replied from the living room. "I'm gonna go check on him. Mom told me he had a rough day." I said, setting the groceries in the refrigerator. "He said kids were picking on him..." Detta told me, standing up and walking slowly toward me. She grimaced, rubbing her belly. "You okay?" I asked her. She nodded, walking again. "He's just moving down further, I can tell. It won't be long."

"Tonight?" I asked, eyes widening. "Maybe...soon, I know that. I've been having mild contractions, but they're irregular and too far apart to worry about," she replied. "Okay...well, I'm gonna go talk to Zacky...you let me know if you need me, okay?" I said, rubbing her arms. She nodded, hugging me, burying her face into my chest. "Zacky's gonna be just like us...he's gonna hate school..." she said. I couldn't help but laugh. "Maybe he won't be like his Uncle Jimmy and get kicked out in the second grade," I told her. She smiled up at me. "I sure hope not."

I kissed her forehead and made my way up the stairs to check on Little Zacky. I found him in his bedroom, knees pulled up to his chest, face streaked with tears. I sat down on his bed, moving his stuffed deathbat out of the way, and wrapped an arm around him. "What's the matter, little buddy?" I asked him. "School is stupid," he said, staring up at me. "Aww, I know it's no fun sometimes, but it's not stupid. You have to go there to learn stuff..." I told him. "I didn't learn anything today I didn't already know." he replied. He was a pretty smart kid, so I didn't doubt that. "So what happened to get you so upset?" I asked again. "The kids were picking on me." he answered. "What about?"

He sighed and wiped at his face. "My clothes. They said I was a dork. I told them my daddy dressed the same way and they said you were a dork, too..." he said. "You're not a dork, Zacky." I told him. "So why did they say I am?" he asked. "That's their opinion...you should dress how you want to. Don't let what other people think make you upset. I don't." I said. "You don't?" he asked me. I shook my head. "Nope, I sure don't. If I did, I wouldn't be where I am today. A lot of people don't like the music I play, but I keep playing it anyway...because I like it. If the other kids want to pick on you, let them...just don't let them make you feel bad, okay? I think you're a cool kid...your mom does, too...other people's opinions don't matter."

Detta POV-

I shifted uncomfortably as Zack laid next to me, sleeping soundly. Lucky him, he got to sleep. I didn't. Plague was too busy kicking my ass from within, moving, squirming, and pushing on my pelvis for me to even think about sleep. I was miserable, uncomfortable, and my belly was the size of a giant beach ball. I'm not talking about a standard beach ball, here. I mean a gigantic ass fucking ball. The doctors expected Plague to weigh around seven and a half pounds, they said. I said they were full of shit. I was going to try and have a vaginal birth. The doctors said it was risky because I'd had a C-Section before, and Zack was apprehensive about it, but I told him and the doctor both that plenty of women had done it before me. The doctor kept talking...Zack shut up. I had less than a week until my due date and I was already having mild contractions, and Plague was already turned around, ready to make his entrance into the world.

"Zacky..." I whined, shaking my fiance. "Yeah babe?" he mumbled, turning over to face me. "Will you rub my belly? Get Plague to calm down...I really need to sleep." I asked. "Of course I will." he replied. He had been so good to me the entire time, always helping me with things I couldn't do, rubbing my back, legs, stomach, shoulders, and feet anytime they needed it. After I finally drifted off to sleep, I heard the bedroom door open and my son ask if he could sleep with us. "Mama just got to sleep so let's go in your room and I'll lay down with you until you get to sleep, okay?" Zacky replied, getting out of bed. God bless that man. There was no way I could sleep with my five year old in between us at this stage of my pregnancy.

I don't even remember Zacky climbing back into bed with me. All I remember is waking up, my belly tight, the sheets soaking wet. "Zack..." I said, clutching my belly. Plague was coming. I sat up, looking around frantically for my baby's father. The house was quiet. He'd probably gone to Matt's to work on the new record some more. I looked over at the clock. It was 6 AM...no, he wasn't gone to Matt's this early. He should still be in bed. "Zack!" I screamed, my belly tightening again. Contractions were close together...really close. "Mama, what's wrong?" my son asked sleepily. "Zacky, where's Daddy?" I asked him through clenched teeth. "I don't know...Mama are you okay?" he asked. "I'll be fine...just do me a huge favor and go find Daddy." I told him. "Okay..." he replied, running off down the hallway. I laid back in the bed, my breathing labored. Oh God, please, please, have mercy on me, I plead. It had been five years since I'd felt pain that bad. "What is it?" Zack asked, running into the room. "Labor...water broke..." I said, tears welling up in my eyes. "Oh shit. ZACKY! Get your mom's bag and take it to the car. We'll be there in a minute...baby, come on. We'll get you to the hospital."

Another pain ripped through my abdomen and I stifled a scream as Zack helped me out of bed. "Do you wanna change clothes before we go?" he asked. I nodded in response. He grabbed a pair of my pants and a clean shirt and handed them to me. "You need my help, or do I have time to get dressed myself?" he asked. "Go ahead. I got this." I replied. I grabbed onto the bedpost for support and dressed myself slowly. Zack was ready and waiting, Little Zacky too. "Is Mama having the baby today?" he asked as we pulled out of the driveway. "Yeah, buddy, that's what it looks like." Zack replied. "Did you call everyone?" I asked him. "No, not yet...I will when we get there."

"You have to call Piper now." I said. "Baby, I can't really call her right now," he told me. "CALL PIPER." I said, gritting my teeth. "I can't talk and drive, I'll get a ticket." he said. I grabbed him by the shirt and pulled him over to me. "CALL. PIPER. RIGHT. NOW. I don't fucking care if you get a ticket. CALL HER. NOW!" I demanded. "Okay, okay. I'll call her," he said. He reached into his pocket and pulled out his phone dialing Piper's number. "Piper...Detta's in labor," he said. I could hear her reaction through the phone. "Yes, I'm serious!" Zacky replied, turning the corner one-handed. "Give me the fucking phone," I said, snatching it from him. "Piper..." I said as another contraction began. "I'm getting dressed right now, Detta. We'll be there as soon as we can," she said. "We're almost there...just...hurry up. I don't think this labor's gonna last very long," I told her. "Why do you say that?" she asked. "My water already broke..." I said. "Oh hell. I'll be there soon."

I hung up the phone and threw it in the floor, tears flooding my eyes. I wanted pain medicine, and soon. "Oh, Detta, please don't cry," Zack said, reaching over and grabbing my hand. "I'm just scared. It hurts," I said, trying to breathe through the tears and pain. "Baby, everything is gonna be okay. You can do this," he told me, pulling onto Main Street. The hospital was only three miles away. Three more miles, I could make it three more miles. "Mommy, it's gonna be okay..." my son said from the backseat. I held my breath as the pressure on my pelvis increased. I definitely wouldn't be in labor long.

Zack pulled into the hospital parking lot and we made our way slowly into the women's center. Thank God for pre-admittance. They got me into a room quickly, leaving me to change into my gown before they came back to hook me up to machines and check my dilation and effacing. "Well, you're seven centimeters and fully effaced," the doctor said, throwing his gloves in the trash. I dropped my head back onto the pillow, putting my legs back down. "Three centimeters to go," I said, breathless, as the door opened. "Detta!" Piper said, rushing to my side. I grabbed her hand, smiling up at her. "I'm okay. Too far progressed for an epidural. But okay," I said, nodding. She squeezed my hand and pulled a chair up by the bed, facing me. "You want me to stay with you?" she asked me. I nodded, swallowing hard as another contraction started. Zacky was standing across the room with Little Zacky and Matt, talking. I squeezed Piper's hand for the minute the contraction lasted. "Zack, why don't you get over here and hold her hand or something? You got her in this situation, you need to help her," Piper said, turning around. He nodded and approached the bed apprehensively, taking my hand into his. I tightened my grasp on his hand. "I hate you," I said. His mouth fell ajar. "Hey, I'm gonna take little man out in the waiting room, okay?" Matt said, guiding Little Zacky out of the room. He came over and kissed my forehead and then Piper before leaving the room.

"You hate me?" Zack repeated. "Yes. I fucking hate you. You did this to me. This is all your fault," I said. Another contraction came then. I grasped both of their hands and yelped in pain. "Breathe, Detta," Piper said. For the second time in my life, she was coaching me through labor. "It's almost over." she told me. I breathed a sigh of relief as the contraction came to an end. "I'm ready to push." I said. "Are you sure?" she asked. I nodded, looking over at Zacky. "Go get the doctor." I told him. He let go of my hand and quickly left the room. "Poor thing thinks you really hate him." Piper said, brushing my hair out of my eyes. "He'll be okay." I said, my eyes closed. "Yeah, he will...and so will you. In just a little bit, Plague will be here, and this will be over. I know how bad it hurts...but it's gonna be okay." she told me. "Last time, you couldn't relate. I'm glad you can, now." I replied, giving a weak smile. The doctor and Zacky walked back in a second or two later, followed by two nurses. "Yep, you're crowning." the doctor said after checking me. "What's that mean?" Zack asked. "It means that in just a few minutes, you're going to be a father." the doctor replied.

He nodded, grabbing my hand again. "Zack...while I'm not in pain...I don't really hate you. But I'm gonna say a lot of really mean things while I'm giving birth...just so you know. I love you." I said, interlacing my fingers with his. "I love you too." he said, leaning down and kissing my forehead. "Okay, Miss Holmes, on this next contraction, I need you to give a big push, okay?" the doctor said, putting my feet into the stirrups. I nodded, sitting up, holding onto Zacky and Piper's hands.

Half an hour and just a few pushes later, the doctor laid my son on my stomach, wiping him off. "Do you want to cut the cord?" the doctor asked. "Me?" Zacky asked. I couldn't help but cry as I watched him cut our son's umbilical cord before the nurses took him to weigh him and give him his first shots. "He's beautiful, Detta." Zacky said, kissing my forehead again. "He is." I replied, nodding. "Seven pounds, six ounces..." a nurse said. He was a little bigger than Little Zacky had been. "Eighteen inches long..." the nurse added. "He's tiny." I said. "He is, but he's perfect." Zack said, pushing my hair off of my forehead.

The doctor cleaned me and the room up before laying Plague in my arms again. "Do you want me to go get Zacky and Matt or do you want to wait?" Piper asked. "Just wait a few minutes...did you call your mom and dad this morning?" I replied, brushing the side of Plague's mouth with my finger. I smiled when he opened it and latched on. "Yeah, they said they would be here. Are you still going to breast-feed?" Piper asked. I looked down at Plague and back over at her. "Yeah, I think so, for the most part...when I can." I replied. "Breast-feed?" Zacky asked, eyes wide. I laughed. "I told you I was going to." I told him.

"Yeah...I just...forgot." he replied, staring at me as I pulled my hospital gown down and began to nurse our son for the first time. "I need to call Nonna and Papa." I said a few minutes later. "What time is it there?" Zack asked me. "I'm not sure...what time is it here?" I asked him. "Umm...noonish." he said. "That means it's about nine at night there...go ahead and call them. Let them know about our little bambino." I told him, smiling down at my son.

Zacky POV-

I called Detta's grandparents and talked to them for a minute before handing the phone over to Detta. I walked out into the waiting room to let everyone know she was fine, that Plague was fine, and she could have visitors, a few at a time. When I walked in, my eyes began to fill with tears. How they knew, I still don't know, but they were there. I smiled and crossed the room as Jimmy's parents stood, smiles on their faces. "Congratulations, Zack," they both said, hugging me. "Thanks...um...thank you..." I said, wiping at my eyes. "We heard you were naming your baby after Jimmy...he would be honored. We're honored." his mom told me. "Would you like to meet him? And my...Detta...my fiancee..." I asked. "We'd love to...but we can wait until your family goes in." his mom replied. "Are you kidding? You guys are family. Come with me." I said. Jimmy's parents and mine, plus Matt, carrying Baby Rev, Little Zacky, Brian, and Johnny all followed me to Detta's room. She was now cradling Plague in her arms, talking to Piper. "I brought company." I said, stepping to the side.

Detta POV-

There was no mistaking the tall man with the blue eyes and his wife with the amazing smile that were standing next to Zack's parents. "Detta...these are Jimmy's parents...Joe and Barbara Sullivan." Zack said, standing next to me. "Hi...it's so nice to finally meet you." I said, smiling, my eyes misting over. Jimmy looked so much like them. "We just wanted to pay you a visit...tell you thank you for naming your son in honor of ours...and thank Matt, and Piper as well. Jimmy would be so humbled." Joe said. "Well it's the least we could do. Jimmy was so special to these boys, and to Piper and I, though I never had the chance to meet him..." I said. Piper nodded, taking Rev from Matt.

"We'll stop by and visit again, soon...we've got to run today, but we just wanted to come say hello...and give our congratulations and thanks." Barbara said. We said goodbye to the Sullivans and Zack's parents and bandmates all took seats around the room. "Well, when are we gonna get to hold our new nephew?" Brian asked. "After Zack gets to hold his new son." Piper said. "You haven't even held your kid yet?" Johnny asked Zack, who shook his head. "Well why don't we get our first family picture then?" Zack's mom suggested. He smiled down at me and sat on the bed, taking Plague from my arms. "Come here, Monkey." I said, motioning for Little Zacky to sit on the bed next to us. He climbed up on the bed and kissed my cheek. "You see your new baby brother?" I asked him, wrapping an arm around his waist. He peeked over into Zacky's arms and nodded. "He's cute." he replied as Zack's mom snapped a picture. I laughed and kissed my oldest son. "Yeah he is, isn't he?"

"Yeah...I love my little brother. I'm glad he's finally here." he replied. "Me, too..." I said, laughing again. "Okay, picture time." Zack's mom said. We all looked up at her. "Okay, ready, one, two, three." she counted before snapping the picture. "Did you bring my camera?" I asked Zack. "I did...it's in your bag." he replied. "I wanna take a few pictures of you and Plague, and of Zacky and Plague...and Piper knows how to work my camera, so she can take some of us together too." I said, stroking my infant son's head.

Six weeks later:

Piper and I sat on the couch in the living room, chatting and joking while the boys were at Johnny's for poker night. Plague was in his bassinet asleep in Zacky's office, Rev on the floor, out like a light. It was the first time we'd had 'girl time' since I became a new mother. "So...how has your sex life been since Plague was born?" Piper asked me. I blushed and laughed. "Um...interesting." I replied. "Interesting good or interesting bad?" she questioned. I shook my head. "It's never bad with Zacky." I said. "Super." she replied, sarcastically. "Hey! You asked!" I said, throwing my hands up. "Yes, I did...but I didn't want the specifics." she told me. I shrugged. "You asked. It's been fine, though. It just...nevermind. You don't want to know that." I said, stopping myself. The truth was, it honestly felt different since I'd had Plague. I knew that would change and things would go back to normal, but I'd had Little Zacky by C-Section ,so the first time I had sex after his birth, nothing really felt different. This time, things felt way different. Not bad, just different. "Different how?" Piper asked. I shook my head. "You don't wanna know." I told her. "Tell me anyway." she said, grimacing. I drew in a deep breath and blew it out. "It just...it feels different now." I said, shrugging. "Yes, because that was so much more specific." she said. "Well...I could be detailed. It's just..." I said, searching for the words to use. "Just spit it out. I'll deal with it." Piper declared. "I'm not as...tight...as I was before...I don't think Zacky minds, I mean...he still...you know...but it's a lot harder for me." I said. I knew I was blushing, I could feel it. "Uh...huh..." Piper replied, nodding slowly. "I told you you didn't wanna know." I said. "There...just...isn't really a way to fix that I don't think." Piper told me. I looked up at her, my eyes wide with horror. "What?" I asked. "Well you're...stretched honey, you're going to stay that way unless you stop having sex for a while, and I dont mean like just a week." she told me, blushing. I nodded. "I can do that." I said. Piper laughed. "No you can't." she said. I huffed, crossing my arms. "Can too." I replied.

"You can't go a day, let alone a week or more without sex, Detta." she told me. "We went four weeks after Plague was born. I can go a week or more." I declared. "You're supposed to wait six. And I said a week or more." she replied, laughing. "Well, in my defense, it wasn't my fault. He seduced me. He used that voice...you know the one...and...I bet you a hundred bucks I can go longer than you can." I told her. "Ha! You don't even have any idea how long I've gone before. You cant win." she replied. "I went three years, Piper...think again." I said, smirking. "I went twenty-five!" she said, sarcastically. I glared at her. "Actually, it was closer to twenty-six..." she added, smiling. "I can last. I bet you money I can. Whoever gives in first pays the other a hundred bucks." I said, holding out my hand. Piper shook it. "Deal! Better go ahead and go to the bank, you've already lost." she said. "How?" I asked. She smiled evilly. "Because I know your weaknesses, and I intend to exploit him." she replied, her smile never fading. "Evil. Bitch." I said. "Hello pot, I'm the kettle, did you know you're black?" she replied. We both burst into laughter. It had been a long time since we'd had girl time. This deal was something serious though, if I wanted my old body back and that hundred bucks, I'd better swear off sex for a while. I could do it...it was just keeping Zacky at bay. That man was a sex addict.

"Curiosity, how long has it been since you and Zacky had sex? Just to see how hard it's going to be on you..." Piper asked. I blushed and looked around the room. "I dunno...earlier today sometime." She nearly fell off the couch laughing. "Oh yeah. You're fucked." she said. "How long has it been for you two?" I asked. "Nine months, give or take a week or two." she replied. I gaped. Nine months? How the hell did she keep him off of her for that long? Zacky would die of deprivation if we went that long. "How do you..." I started. Piper blushed. "Well...it's not that it's not good, cause it is, we just dont have to, but when we do...I'm going to stop. You dont want to know that..." she said.

Rev fussed a bit from his sleeping spot on the floor. "Awww...what's the matter baby?" Piper said, picking him up. She checked his diaper to see if he needed to be changed and then laid a finger on his gums. "Hungry I guess." she said, pulling a blanket over her and Rev. We were both breast-feeding the boys as much as possible. I'd breast fed little Zacky for the first six months, and planned to as long as I could for Plague. "Zack just stares at me when I'm feeding Plague. It's kinda weird." I said. "Matt does too. You'll get used to it." she replied. "Chris never stared. I don't think." I told her. "Chris was probably really good at hiding it. Zacky will get better. Matt I don't think he ever will." she laughed. "It's just funny...Zacky's fascinated by everything I do, by everything Plague does. He was so timid with him at first...but he's a great dad." I told her. He really was, he was a wonderful father. At first he had been shy, almost scared to touch or hold Plague. With Zacky, things were different. He was older when we met him and he wasn't as fragile as an infant was. "Matt just stares. You remember how we used to couldnt get him to shut up? Well now...I kinda miss that non stop chatter." she said. "Yeah. I know what you mean," I sighed, "Little Zacky's done really well, too. I was afraid he'd have a hard time with all of this...but he loves having a little brother."

"That's good. I think Syn feels a little left out now , but he loves Rev." she said jokingly. She and Syn had become really close. He was to her what Matt was to me. We talked a bit longer until the boys came home and Piper and Matt headed for home with baby Rev. Zacky showered and played with Plague a bit while I hurriedly searched for ways to fix my new insecurity. There was surgery, but there was no way I could do that without it being too obvious. Exercises and refraining from sex were our only other options. Good thing Piper and I had made that bet. I was gonna hold out as long as I could. I wanted to feel normal. I lifted my shirt and looked in the mirror on the dresser. I didn't really have much extra weight left on me, and had very few stretchmarks. Oh, the blessings of being dark-complected and the miracles of cocoa butter. I put my shirt back down and turned around just as Zacky walked out of the bathroom, a towel wrapped around his waist, water rolling down his arms and chest from his wet hair. I bit my lip. This was not going to be easy, but I was going to win that bet.

"What's wrong?" Zack asked me as he opened the dresser drawers, searching for something to put on. "Nothing. Just...nothing." I replied, sitting on the bed. "You sure?" he asked. I nodded, looking away as he dropped his towel. Damn you, Piper, I thought. I wanted him, God, I wanted him. I always wanted him. We had a strong sexual attraction to one another...but then again, I didn't want to remind myself that my body wasn't what it used to be. I crawled up into the bed and pulled the covers over me, lying down. I had forgotten how tiring having a newborn could be, and the quicker I got to sleep, the less likely Zacky was to do something else to turn me on. "You going to sleep?" he asked me. "I'm really tired. Plague was up all night last night and I expect he will be tonight, too, since he slept most of the day. I'm gonna sleep while I can." I replied, yawning. "Okay..." he said, sitting on the bed beside me. I turned over to face him and took his hand in mine, interlacing our fingers. "I love you." I said. "I love you too. You sure everything's okay? Nothing's bothering you?" he asked. I shook my head. I hated to lie to him, but I just couldn't let him know. He'd feel awful if he knew what was going on in my head. "Okay...I'm gonna go check on Plague and do a little work for VU. I'll be up here in a bit."

Zacky gave me a kiss before leaving the room to check on our son and head downstairs to his office. I rubbed my eyes, trying to keep them from filling with tears. Why was I so insecure about that? Millions of women had babies, and millions of women had sex after they had kids...did they feel like I did? Then again, they hadn't had the gaps in sexual activity like I had. Five years active, three years inactive, then three months active, a month inactive, one day active, two months inactive, four months of active sex, while pregnant, I might add, a month inactive, two weeks of active, uncomfortable, awkward, but still good sex. It was never bad, but it just wasn't the same. I picked up the phone and texted Piper. "I don't know what to do, Piper. I just don't. This sucks so bad...I want to have sex with him, but I'm scared he'll notice...what if he does? Do you think he would cheat on me? Or find me less attractive?" I sent. "There's no way in hell he would cheat on you, and I doubt he notices." she replied. "You're still gonna tell him about our bet aren't you?" I said. "Yes. I am. :)" she sent back. Great. I was fucked. Zacky would be upstairs in a matter of minutes, teasing me in some way that he knew would make me weak in the knees and then I'd be coughing up a hundred bucks to Piper. Damn it. I should've never agreed to that damn bet.

Zacky POV-

I sat in my youngest son's room, watching him as he slept. He was dark-complected, like his mom, with strong Italian features, from both of us. He had my eyes, Detta's nose, and my lips, with thick, curly black hair, more hair than I had ever seen on a newborn baby. I wondered to myself why Detta was being so distant, but blamed it on lack of sleep when I couldn't think of any other reason. I kissed my son goodnight and shut the door behind me, checked on Little Zacky, and headed downstairs to the the office to work on some paperwork for my clothing line. I had become lost in thoughts of my girl and our boys when my phone rang, scaring me shitless. "What the fuck." I said. Why was Piper calling me that late at night? "Hello?" I answered. "If I give you fifty bucks would you fuck Detta?" she asked. "Isn't that kind of like prostitution?" I replied. Of course I would do it. This was Detta we were discussing here. Given the opportunity, I would fuck her anytime, anyplace, that's just how attracted I was to her. We had a great sex life, even with a newborn baby. Honestly, it had never been better. I was more in love with her during her pregnancy and after his birth than I ever imagined possible. "Look at it as compensation for helping a friend." she replied. "Let me get this straight. You wanna pay me fifty bucks to fuck my fiancee? So do you want me to tape it or something as proof?" I asked. "Ew. No. Just do her. I'll know, trust me." she replied. "Okay...well, she's pretty wiped out tonight so I'll get her in the morning after Zacky gets off to school." I said. She sighed. "Fine. Just do it soon." she told me. "I can get it done tonight, but she's just really tired. Any suggestions as to get it done quicker?" I replied sarcastically. "Use the voice!" she said after a moment. I couldn't help but laugh. "Okay. I'll use the voice. Bye Piper."

Detta POV-

"Oh come on, Matt, there must be something you can do to seduce her!" I whined. I really didn't want to lose. "I can try but I doubt she gives in." he replied. "You. Suck." I said. "No, Piper does." he told me. I could see the smug smile on his face. "EWWWW!" I squealed. "Tell me you haven't done it to Zack." he answered. "I have not. That is disgusting. Ew. Gross!" I said, shaking my head. I couldn't sleep. My mind was running rampant, and I knew Piper had probably already called Zacky, conjuring a plan to get me to give in. I had to do something. "Okay, well, I'll try, but I can't make any promises. I'm pretty sure you're gonna lose though, Detta." Matt said. "You're a whole lot of help." I huffed. I could hear Zacky setting the alarm downstairs. "I know. You love me." he replied. "Yeah. I do. Zacky's coming to bed though, I'll talk to you later."

I hit the end button and laid the phone on the table by our bed, laying back down, my back to the door. I heard the door shut and lock. Damn it. He was going to try. Resistance was key. Tell him no, Detta, he won't pressure you if you say no. He may try to persuade you, but he would never pressure you. "You asleep, baby?" Zacky asked, climbing into bed, wrapping an arm around my waist. "No...I haven't been able to fall asleep." I replied. "Aww...why not? Plague keeping you up?" he asked, his voice in a near whisper, right at my ear. Ohh, you evil, evil man, I thought. "No." I answered simply. He moved closer. "Well what's keeping you awake?" he asked. I turned onto my back so I could see him. "Nothing. I just can't sleep." I said. He kissed my forehead. "You want something to keep you awake?" he asked, smirking. Resistance, Detta. Tell him no. "Not really." I replied. He cocked an eyebrow at me. "You don't?" he asked. I shook my head. "No." I said. I was NOT going to give in. There was no way. "Tell me you don't want me Detta." he said, pressing his body closer to mine. Damn you, Piper Davis. There was no way I could say that to him. I bit my lip and shook my head. "Okay." he said, laying on his back. I laid my head on his chest and wrapped my arms around him, closing my eyes. Ha!, I thought, victory! It worked, I hadn't lost the bet. Now, just to keep him off of me until Piper gave in to Matt. That would also give me time to get myself back in shape...back to normal.

I closed my eyes against my thoughts and tried once more to go to sleep. "So I've been thinking about our wedding." Zacky said. I opened my eyes. "Yeah?" I replied. We were almost done planning, there were just a few minor details to work out. I was so excited, so ready. "Yeah. I was thinking about the preacher to be more specific." he told me. "What about him?" I asked. "I was thinking how cool it would be if he talked like this..." he said, clearing his throat. Oh no. Oh fuck no. Hell to the no. He wouldn't. "Do you take this man..." he started, his voice deep and smooth, just like he did during "A Little Piece Of Heaven". "Damn it, Zacky." I mumbled. "What's the matter, baby?" he asked, his voice still deep. He knew what that did to me. "God I hate you right now." I whispered. "No you don't. You love me, and you love when I do that." he said, kissing my lips.

Half an hour later, I still hadn't gotten off, and Plague woke up. "Zacky..." I said, pushing on his chest. He didn't respond. Bless his heart for trying, but it wasn't working. Nothing was. "Zacky. Plague's awake." I said. "One minute. Give me one minute, Detta." he said, lifting my legs and wrapping them around him. He thrust in and out a few more times, bringing me closer to climax than I had been before. "Zacky..." I said, digging my nails into his back. Plague screamed louder. I moved my legs and pushed Zacky with all of my weight from on top of me. "I'm sorry. I've gotta go check on him." I said, pulling a t-shirt and underwear on before walking out of the bedroom. Tears filled my eyes as I lifted Plague from his crib and sat in the rocking chair, lifting my shirt so he could nurse. "Detta...you okay?" Zacky asked from the doorway. He'd pulled on his pajama pants but it didn't hide the fact that he hadn't finished. I nodded, swallowing hard, blinking back tears. "I'm fine." I replied. He crossed the room and lifted my chin so that our eyes met. "Baby, what's the matter? You've been really off today." he said. I shook my head. "I guess it's the last of the pregnancy hormones leaving my body. I just really...I wasn't in the mood I guess. I'm sorry." I said. "Don't worry about me. I just felt bad that you didn't...at all. That never happens...it's always more than once, especially now. You're sure everything's okay?" he asked. I nodded, stroking my son's head. "Everything's fine. I just wasn't in the mood tonight. Like I said earlier, I'm really tired and all...plus I think I'm about to start my period for the first time since I had him, and I know before...right before I started, I never could..." I told him. That wasn't a complete lie. I was due to start my period anyday, and whenever I got close to starting it in the past, whenever I had sex, it always took him forever to get me off. Great cover story, Detta. Maybe now, your fiance won't feel so bad. "Oh. Okay, then. Well, I love you." he said, kissing the top of my head. I smiled up at him. "I love you too. You might wanna go take care of that." I replied. He nodded and kissed my head once more, then Plague's, and went back to the bedroom.

Zacky POV-

By the time Detta came back to bed, I had relieved myself and tried to convince myself that it wasn't my fault she hadn't gotten off. It wasn't really fair when I did, but she hadn't at all. "He go back to sleep?" I asked her as she laid her head on my chest. "Mhm. After I fed and changed and rocked him...he just kept staring up at me. Zacky woke up, too...I sent him back to bed." she answered. "He didn't...he didn't hear us, did he?" I asked. "No, no...I don't think so. It's not like he's never heard it before, though. I mean really. As much as we've had sex with him in the house, he's bound to have heard us at some point." she said. "Good point." I replied. "Mhm...now, I really am sleepy. Goodnight, Zack." Detta snuggled closer to me and we both drifted off to sleep.

Detta POV-

"It was bad..." I said. "Then it doesn't count. If neither of you got off then it doesn't count." Piper replied. "Are you sure? Because I gave in and we did it, but...I just wasn't into it. I was thinking too much. It just didn't work for me. At all. He got me close, but Plague started screaming...and I'm giving you way too many details again." I said. "No, it's okay. So what are you going to do?" she asked. "Well, I researched it on the internet, and combining refraining from sex with exercise and all should help...so...I'm thinking that maybe by our wedding night, it'll be okay." I replied. "Wedding night? Isn't that like...six months from now?" Piper asked. "Yeah...so?" I said. "You know good and well you will not hold out that long. You two are way too sexual to hold out for six months. I give it one month." Piper said. "If I'm lucky. My body won't ever go back to normal...I guess I'm just gonna tell him what's going on..." I said. "No! Don't tell him. He'll feel awful. Just...maybe try other things to keep his mind off of it." she suggested. "I guess I could..." I replied. "Sure you can. Just...tell him you're not feeling well, you're tired, you don't want to, come up with something. You can handle it, girl. I know it won't be easy...but it'll be okay. Whenever you do finally have sex again, it'll probably be mind blowingly good."

Keeping Zacky off of me was easier than I thought it would be. I started my period that afternoon, so my body was racked with killer cramps and I had a migraine. Zacky let me sleep a lot and helped take care of Plague and Zacky, unless Plague needed to nurse. After he would nurse, it was back to sleep in the cool darkness of our bedroom. It was the only relief I could find for my headache. When I got to feeling better a few days later, I got up and signed up at the gym. I wanted to get rid of what little bit of baby fat was left and try to get my body back in shape. I had become accustomed to my stripper body, and a small part of me wanted that back. Crunches, lunges, squats, and the tredmill became my best friend. I called my OBGYN to ask her what I could do in addition to help fix my other problem, and she told me to do Kegel exercises. I pretended like I knew what that was and Googled it from my Blackberry. "Sounds easy enough." I said. "What does?" Zacky asked, startling me. "Nothing. When did you get home?" I replied. "Just a few minutes ago. Zacky's doing his homework. You ready to get dinner started?" he asked. "Yeah. I'll be there to help you in just a second." I said.

I changed out of my gym clothes into something more comfortable and headed downstairs to help Zacky cook. "What do you wanna eat?" he asked, looking through the cabinets. "I was thinking grilled chicken...salad...something like that. I started my new diet today." I told him. "You don't need a diet, but okay...will Zacky eat that?" he replied. "I do too, and yes. He's not very picky." I answered. "Okay...grilled chicken and salad...anything else?" he asked. "I bought some fresh vegetables. We could have those." I said. "Babe, I don't understand why you think you need diet food. Your body is amazing. You don't even look like you've had a baby." he told me, wrapping his arms around me from behind. "No, but I feel like I have, and I just want to tone up...tighten up some muscles." I said. "I understand that." he replied. He placed a kiss on my cheek and started chopping the salad ingredients. "My homework is done." Little Zacky said, laying it on the counter. "Good job, buddy. I'll check it in a few minutes, okay?" I said, smiling down at him. "Okay, Mommy. Can I go play with Plague?" he asked. "Just be careful." I replied. "Okay!"

Zacky ran off to play with his little brother in the living room while his father and I finished up dinner. We were just putting the boys to bed when Piper called. "I owe you a hundred bucks. Come get Rev." she said. I couldn't help but laugh. "Come get Rev? Damn, Piper. You plan on going all night?" I replied. "We might have to..." she winced. "What do you mean?" I asked. "I...please just come get him. We have a problem and I...please." she said. "Okay, I'll be there in a minute...sit tight."

I quickly dressed and told Zacky I'd be back, that Piper needed me, and headed for the car. When I got to Piper's house, I used my key and let myself in. "Piper?" I called. "I'm in here." she replied from the kitchen. "Feeding Rev before he goes with you...and there are some bottles ready in his bag." she said. I nodded, pulling out a chair. "So what's going on?" I asked. She grimaced, adjusting Rev in her arms. "I did something bad." she replied. "What do you mean? What happened?" I asked. She covered Rev's exposed ear. "Matt's been hard since 7 AM and I've just let him stay that way." she said. I gaped. "Oh. Ouch. Poor Matt." I replied. "I can't let him stay that way any longer but he won't let me help him." she told me. "Why not?" I replied. If it had been Zacky in that situation he'd have been glad to let me help him out. "He's stubborn." she replied, shrugging.

Matt was stubborn, that was for sure. But he had to be uncomfortable. Something had to be done. "Have you tried tying him down? I gotta pair of cuffs at the house, you want em?" I offered. Piper's eyes widened and she shook her head. "I can't do that to him, Detta. There's gotta be another way." she said. I shrugged. "It was just a suggestion. Where is he? Laying in bed? Just climb on top of him." I told her. "Like I haven't thought of that, but he's a lot stronger than me, and he doesnt want me to do it...him." she said. I thought for a minute. There had to be something she could do. "Well he can't stay like that forever, that's not normal, or healthy." I told her. "I know, Detta. I can look at him and tell he's in pain. He's just so fucking stubborn, but I gotta try." she replied. "I feel for him. And you...I know you must feel awful." I said. She nodded. " I do...I didnt even notice for the first few hours." How had she not noticed, especially with how...ew. Matt. "How'd you not notice? Did he just...hide it from you?" I asked.

"Exactly. He didn't want me to know. I guess he thought I'd be upset or something. Detta, I don't even know what to do." she said. I honestly felt bad for her. She was clearly upset and confused, and Matt was being a typical man...stubborn. " I wish I knew what to tell you...he just has to stop being so stubborn, or you have to take advantage of him. I would say get him while he's asleep but I doubt he can sleep with that..." I said. "I agree. I mean what am I supposed to do though, it's not like I can take him." Piper had a point. Matt was a hell of a lot bigger than her. He would never hurt her, but he could resist her without physically harming her. However, byresisting her, he was physically harming himself.

" I don't know...I've never had that problem...either you're gonna have to do it or he is gonna have to take care of it himself. I mean you can go to the doctor and they'd drain the...they'd take care of it." I suggested. Piper wrinkled her nose. " I can't do that to him. It would embarrass him way too much. I can't even prepare...I can't...I can't take him."

"You want me to go talk to him?" I asked. It was all I could think of. He was going to have to give in to her and let her help him, or he was going to have to do it himself. "No! Do you think it would help?" she replied. I shrugged. "I could try. Matt listens to me. I'll go talk to him."

I got up from my spot at the table and headed upstairs. "Put some clothes on or cover up, I'm coming in." I said, knocking on Matt and Piper's bedroom door. "Come in, Detta." Matt replied. It was clear he was in pain, and I'd only just heard his voice. "Matt...we need to talk. So, just listen to me. Piper didn't do this on purpose, I think we both know this. But you gotta quit being so damn subborn. Either you let her help you, you do it yourself, or you go to the doctor, where they will stick a big needle in your pecker and drain all the fluid out of it. You pick one...I suggest you let Piper help. The bet's off. This isn't even about the hundred bucks. It's about your girl sitting downstairs in the kitchen, who called me to come get your son so she could make you feel better. Just let her do it, okay?" I said. Matt stared at me for a second before nodding. "Fine." he replied. "That was too easy..." I said, glaring at him. "I called Zack for advice. He said just to let Piper handle it...you two really do think alike." he said. "Well. I'm gonna take Rev. You two have fun." I said, turning to leave. "Detta..." Matt called. "Yes, Matthew?" I replied, turning around. "Thanks."

I smiled and nodded, shutting the door behind me. "You're good to go." I told Piper as we met at the bottom of the stairs. "Really? What did you say to him?" she asked. "Just know that you're good to go. I'll see you in the morning." I took Rev from her and grabbed his bag, heading for the car. "Hey Detta...thanks." Piper said, standing in the doorway as I got into the car. "No problem. Just know I may need you to babysit for me one night...whenever I finally give in to Zacky." I said. She laughed. "Okay. I'll see you tomorrow."

I drove home and laid Rev in the portable crib in Plague's room before walking back into the bedroom Zacky and I shared. "So Matt called me..." he said. I nodded, sitting on the bed. "I know, he told me." I replied. "So...they're having sex..." he said, smirking. I grimaced. Ew. Sex. Not what I wanted to think about. "So?" I replied. "So, do you wanna?" he asked. "No. I don't. Not really." I answered. I'd done really well keeping him off of me for the past week. Just a little while longer and things would be okay...just not yet. "Why not?" he asked. There was no way I was going to tell him why. I just couldn't. "I just don't feel like it, Zacky." I said, getting up and heading to the bathroom to change. I didn't want him to see the remnants of my pregnant figure. It was gross to me. I could only imagine what it was like for him. I was just pulling my shirt over my head when he opened the door. "Are you sure you don't want to? I mean I know you just got..." he said. "No. I don't want to fucking have sex, Zachary. God, that's all that's ever on your fucking mind." I said, brushing past him. I grabbed my pillow and headed for the bedroom door. "I just want a little attention, Vendetta. You've been avoiding me for the past week. You've barely even let me put a finger on you. What the hell am I doing wrong?"

I stopped dead in my tracks and turned to face him. "You're not doing anything wrong, Zacky...and I'm not avoiding you. I'm just trying to adjust to things. I just had a baby for God's sakes...I do this and that and take care of the kids, the house, the bills, you, myself, I'm just stressed out and I don't know how to handle it. This isn't easy, Zacky. I'm just too tired and too stressed to worry about sex all the time. Things have changed, they're not what they used to be." I told him, tears welling up in my eyes. "What are you trying to say, Detta?" he asked, putting his hands on my arms. "Zacky...I don't wanna fight with you. I don't wanna talk about this, not right now. Rev's here, he and Plague are both asleep. Zacky's asleep. Let's discuss this later. I'm sorry I've made you feel like I've been avoiding you. I'm not, I swear. I love you." I said, my forehead pressed to his chest. He kissed the top of my head. "We'll talk about it later. I love you, too, Detta...I just wish I knew what was going on inside of that pretty little head of yours."

Over the course of the next few days, Zacky seemed to forget about the fact that we had yet to discuss what was wrong with me. I didn't mind, but I did feel distant from him. Everything seemed so routine, so mechanical, with no emotion. "Detta...I think we need to talk." Zacky said, standing in the doorway of the bathroom as I gathered my things for the gym. "What about? I've gotta go to the gym." I said, slinging my bag over my shoulder. "That's part of it. All of a sudden, you've joined the gym...you're avoiding me...we hardly talk...what's going on, Detta? Is there someone else? If there is, just tell me. It's not like it hasn't happened to me before." he said. Someone else? Was he insane? I would never cheat on him. No, things weren't the way they used to be. "Zacky, I would never cheat on you." I said, moving past him. "Detta, I'm serious. What's going on with us? What's the matter? We're falling apart at a time where things should be fucking perfect. We're new parents...we're getting married in a few months..." he said. I set my gym bag on the floor and tied my shoes. "I don't know. We're busy, both of us. Between the baby and everything else, we just...I dunno." I said. The truth was, my mind had been running rampant, a million thoughts crossing my mind, driving me insane. Not only did I feel physically unattractive to him, I felt like sex was all he cared about sometimes. Without it, we seemed to be falling apart completely. Was our relationship based on sex? We'd moved so fast at first...we were close emotionally, too, but that seemed to have faded away to a degree by then. Was sex our emotional connection? I sighed deeply. I stood up and turned to walk away, but Zacky grabbed me by the wrist, pulling me to him. "Kiss me." he said. I pulled his face to mine and kissed him. My gym back slid off my shoulder and he picked me up, laying me down on the bed, kissing my arms, shoulders, neck, lips, stomach. I winced when his hands slipped beneath my shirt tail. "What's wrong, Detta?" he asked, sitting up. I shook my head. I couldn't keep it from him any longer. "I just feel really insecure and unattractive lately, Zack. I don't want to have sex with you because I can't enjoy it. It's nothing you've done. It's me. It's all this...and this...and...you can't tell me you haven't noticed anything when we've had sex, Zacky. Things feel different for me. They must feel different for you, too. I just wanna wait a while...I'll do anything in the world for you, baby, but I just can't have sex with you. Not now...not for a while...that's why I've been going to the gym, so I can be more comfortable with my body...and enjoy it more."

"Baby, you're beautiful...I wish you could see that. I really, really do, Detta. You are so beautiful...I've told you before and I'll tell you again, nothing can change the fact that I think you're fucking stunning.. I love you, but above all else I respect you. I won't pressure you anymore until you're ready. You can come to me when you're ready...why didn't you just tell me sooner this was how you felt?" he asked, taking my hands into his. "You really think I'm beautiful? Even with all this..." I said, rubbing my stomach. "Stand up." he said. I stood up in front of him. "Now turn around." he instructed. I turned to face the mirror on the dresser. He lifted my shirt. "Baby...what's wrong with this? Tell me...because I don't see anything wrong. I don't. Tell me what you see. What do you want to change?" he asked. "I want to lose my baby weight...and this." I said, pinching the loose skin on my stomach. He shook his head. "You don't have to look like you did when I met you to be beautiful, Vendettta." he said. "But I'm so used to being perfect, Zacky...this isn't comfortable for me." I told him. "Detta, you are perfect. You're perfect to me...but if you think you need to work on your figure, then do it...but promise me something...you won't let it get out of hand...no crazy crash diets, or pills, or over-obsessive working out..."

"I would never do anything like that. I promise. I just want to tone up...feel normal..." I said. He nodded. "Just know that you're beautiful to me, no matter what...and when you're ready..." he said, kissing my forehead. "I'll let you know...but I feel bad...is there anything I can do...for you?" I asked him. He looked at me, taken aback. "I don't think so, no." he replied. I rubbed his arm, smiling. "Are you sure?" He nodded. "Yeah. Go to the gym...I'll see you soon." he replied, swallowing hard.

Zacky POV-

Detta laughed that sinister, Little Piece Of Heaven laugh. "Zacky...seriously, are you sure? I can skip the gym today..." she said, her hands on my belt. It had been nearly two weeks since we'd done anything at all besides kiss, and those had been few and far between. I was sure of one thing. I wanted her. No matter how disgusting she thought she looked, I wanted her. I wanted her in the bed, underneath me, sweaty, flushed red, moaning my name, but she didn't want that. She wanted me to be satisfied, though. That laugh was damn near enough...maybe if I just made her laugh again..."No..." I mumbled as I walked backward, Detta walking forward, her hands still on my belt. "Okay...if you say so...I'll be back in an hour or so, okay? Can you get Zacky or do you want me to?" she asked, going back toward the door. "I'll get him. Come here." I said, holding my arms out. She walked into my embrace and I placed a kiss on top of her head. "I love you. Don't ever forget that. No matter what...I love you."

As soon as Detta's car pulled out of the driveway, I pulled out my phone and dialed Piper's number. If she couldn't take the boys then I'd call my parents. I needed to be alone with Detta that night. I needed to make her feel loved, and beautiful...this wasn't about me. "Hello?" Piper answered. "Hey...are you guys busy tonight? I need a favor." I said. "Umm...no, why?" she replied. "Can you watch the boys for me? I wanna surprise Detta by doing something nice for her, and I just want it to be us two. If you can't take them, my parents will I'm sure, but I just..." Piper cut me off. "Zacky! I'll come get them. What are you planning on doing?" she asked. "Thanks...and I...just wanna do something nice for her...she's had a rough couple of weeks since Plague's been born and we haven't had much alone time...so...I just want to make her dinner...maybe watch a movie and just spend time with her...I need to get it done before she gets back from the gym, though, so can you hurry?" I plead. "I'm on my way, Zacky."

Detta POV-

I dropped my keys on the table by the front door. The house was dark, except for candlelight flickering from every surface imaginable. There were candles on the floor, tables, and walls , illuminating the room in a soft glow. "Umm...Zacky?" I called. No answer. "Zacky?" I called again, walking toward the staircase. It was dark, and so was the upstairs part of the house. "Zachary James..." I said, turning around. I knocked over a candle when I did, the flame extinguishing, wax running across the marble floor. "Damn it." I said, bending down, taking a towel from my gym bag, wiping it up. "Hey, Beautiful..." I heard from behind me. "Zacky...what's all this?" I replied, stuffing the towel back into my bag. He took the bag off my shoulder and laid it at the base of the stairs. "Here...go in there and change into this..." he handed me a folded piece of clothing and a pair of shoes, "and I'll wait here for you." Zacky opened the door to his office and let me in, pulling the door closed, allowing me to change in private. I had no idea what was going on. He wasn't the romantic type, not that I was complaining. It was really sweet was he was doing. I unfolded the clothes he had handed me and couldn't help but smile. An old red plaid corset dress laid in my hands, and my old, black, beat-up Converse. I stripped down out of my gym clothes and slipped on the shoes, holding the dress against me, still unzipped. "Zacky..." I said, opening the door. "I figured you may need help..." he said, motioning for me to turn around. I lifted my hair and turned my back to him. He placed soft kisses across my back, neck, and shoulders as he zipped the dress up. It was tighter around my breasts than I remembered it being. It wasn't until I turned around that I realized he was wearing the same thing he'd worn on our first date...a white button up, white jeans, and a tie with little white skulls on it. I smiled, feeling myself blush. "Gorgeous...just like always." he said, kissing me gently.

He led me through the dark living room and into the dining room. The table was set, smells of Italy filling the kitchen. "What is all this?" I asked again. "Just figured we'd have a night to ourselves...it's been a while since we've done anything, just us two. The kids are at Piper's, so we have the house to ourselves until morning. After dinner, I'll clean up and you can take a hot bath and we'll watch a movie...or whatever you want to do." he said. I stood behind him at the stove, my hands on his arms. My engagement ring glistened in the candlelight. "I love you..." I said, kissing the deathbat on the back of his right arm. He turned his head to look down at me. "I love you too, Detta." he replied.

We ate dinner together, mostly in silence, but the silence was intimate, romantic...

Once we were done, I walked up the stairs and to the bedroom, which was filled with the scent of vanilla. The bathroom lights were down and candles surrounded the tub, rose petals everywhere. I laughed and shook my head. He was too good to me. I felt almost guilty. I never really showed him any appreciation. I pushed my shoes off, walking into the bathroom and sticking my fingers in the tub. The water was still hot. How long had he been planning this? There was really no telling. I pulled off my underwear and tossed them into the hamper and pulled my hair up into a bun on top of my head. "You need help with your dress?" Zacky's voice came from behind me. I turned around and smiled at him. "You're too good to me...I have no idea what possessed you to do this...or who...or why...but it's...you are amazing."

He shook his head and took a step toward me, motioning for me to turn around like he had earlier. I turned my back to him and he unzipped the dress. I simply let it fall to the floor, not caring how I looked for the first time in a long time. I turned to face him and wrapped my arms around him, my naked body pressed against his. "Your water's gonna get cold." he said, rubbing my bare back. "I don't care." I replied. "So you're just gonna stand here...naked, hugging me after I drained our hot water tank for you?" he asked, teasingly. "Mhm...I like how it feels here in your arms." I replied. "Well...if it's okay with you...I'll still hold you in my arms...in there...if not that's fine. I'll wait til you get out."

Zacky and I stayed in the tub until the water got cold, his arms wrapped around me, an empty of bottle of wine and two glasses on the floor next to the tub. Half of the candles had burned out, most of the light that filled the room now was from the moonlight peeking through the windows. "You wanna get out?" he asked. "Since I'm freezing to death, that would probably be a good idea." I said. "You have had goosebumps for a while now." he said, laughing. "That's because you keep kissing my neck, Mr. Baker." I replied, stepping out of the tub. I wrapped a towel around me and handed him one. He wrapped it around his waist and kissed my forehead. "Let's go...get you warm." he said, taking me by the hand.

I dressed and climbed under the covers as Zacky blew out the remainder of the lit candles in the house. I was still a little chilled from the bath that had gone from red hot to icy cold. I looked over at the clock. It was nearly midnight, and for once, I wasn't exhausted or feeding a screaming infant. It was nice, but strange, a little too strange. I missed my boys. "You warm yet?" Zacky asked, climbing into bed behind me, wrapping his arms around me. "Not yet but this is helping." I said, snuggling closer to him. He kissed the back of my neck, where a ZV had been tattooed many years before. "This has been an amazing night...it brought back some memories...and created some new ones." I said, playing with the fingers on Zacky's left hand. In a few months, there would be a ring on one of those fingers. I couldn't wait, honestly. I figured that's when I would give in and we'd have sex again. Until then, it really wasn't fair for him to go without. Tomorrow, I said to myself, savor the night, just let him hold you close...it's been too long.

"I'm glad you enjoyed it." he said, his voice a near whisper. I turned over, his arms still around me. "I did...very much. I think we should spend more time like this...even if the kids are here...it's so quiet without them. I don't really know how to act. I miss them." I said. "Yeah. Me, too. I love those boys..." he replied, smiling. I kissed his lips and smiled back at him. "I think that's your sexiest quality...how you love them...you're such an amazing daddy, Zacky." I said. "You think so?" he asked. "I know so...Zacky adores you, he wants to be just like you...and Plague...he looks exactly like you. He has your eyes, your smile, your cheeks...he's beautiful...and we made him together...me and you. You've given me the greatest gifts a man can give a woman..." I said. "What do you mean?" he asked. "You've given me your love, and you've given me a child. You are the absolute best thing that has ever happened to me. I know I may get a little crazy and I'm insecure and moody, but you put up with all my antics...you love me for who I am, despite every flaw and imperfection I have...it's almost like you're blind to it all." I said.

"I am, Detta. I think you're perfect...I see no flaws or imperfections when I look at you. I see the love of my life, the woman I'm gonna spend the rest of my life with...the mother of my children...which reminds me...I've been thinking..." he said, brushing a strand of hair from my eyes. "About what?" I replied, scrunching my eyebrows in confusion. "When we get married...I wanna adopt Zacky...give him my last name. He's my son. Not by blood, but he's my son...we're all a family and it would really mean a lot to me if he carried my name. If you don't want him to, that's okay..."

I was completely taken aback. He wanted to adopt my son? I choked back a few tears and smiled, kissing his lips. "I love you so much...I don't tell you nearly enough how much I love you, Zachary. I really don't." I said. "I guess that's you giving your blessing?" he replied. "God...yes...and I still stand by the statement that I do NOT deserve you." I said.

Zacky POV-

The next night, after the boys were settled into bed, I walked into mine and Detta's bedroom to find a stripper pole in the center of the room. "Um...Detta..." I said, looking around for her. "Yeah?" she replied. I turned around to see her leaning against the doorframe of our room, smirking up at me. "What's this?" I asked. "I found my old exercise pole! I figured it would help me working out...that way I can stay here and not leave you stuck with the boys and all. Besides, I was in the best shape ever when I stripped...what could it hurt to work out using this?" she said, wrapping her hands around it. "Will...um...will...that stay...I mean...not sayin' you're..." I stumbled over my words as she let go with one hand and swung herself around it once. I hadn't seen her do that in a long time...almost a year. "What? Stay in place? Yeah. I used to have it in my apartment, and when I lived with Chris it was in the basement. I had to screw that thing into the ceiling but it won't go anywhere. I didn't think you'd mind." she replied. "No...don't...don't mind." I stuttered. What the fuck was wrong with me? "Okay. Good. Cause I'm gonna work out for a little bit..." she said. I nodded, still standing in the doorway. "Shut the door." she told me. I shut the door and leaned against it for support. I think I may have been sweating. "You're gonna...work out in that?" I asked her. She had her old stage costume on, makeup included. Why hadn't I noticed that when she was leaning against the doorframe, smiling up at me like the tease that she was. "Yeah, what's wrong with it?" she asked, turning the stereo on with the remote. "N-n-nothing...just...nothing." I replied.

Detta POV-

It was clear that he was uncomfortable. I was laughing my ass off on the inside. This was fucking perfect. Getting through the striptease would be easy...after it, well, we'd see. I'd never done what I was planning to do, and I had no idea how it would turn out. He had better be glad I love him, I kept telling myself. "So, you remember that song you told me reminded you of me a while back? That 'Pornstar Dancing' song?" I asked him. He nodded, still staring at me. "I found it and put it on my iPod..." I said, smiling. "You did?" Zacky replied. I nodded and walked over to him, taking him by the hand. "Here. Sit down." I said, pushing him into my vanity chair. He looked up to me, wide eyed. "What are you doing?" he asked. I laughed and kissed his forehead. "You'll see." I promised. I hit play on the stereo and the song started. I hadn't danced in a long time, but I was sure I hadn't forgotten. You don't forget something you did for six years that quick.

Zacky POV-

God, she was a tease. I hadn't seen her move like that, ever. Granted, I didn't pay much attention to her dancing the first time we'd met and whenever she was on stage with us, I couldn't stare at her while she was behind me. I had to focus on playing the songs, and the night I saved her from that bastard who raped her I wasn't much focused on her. I was mainly watching him. He hadn't taken his eyes off of her all night...and then he put his filthy hands on her...fucking bastard. I felt Detta's weight on my lap and looked up to see her, sitting on my lap, facing me, in nothing but her bra and underwear. "Mm...Detta, if you don't wanna...you may not wanna do that." I said. Damn it, she was a fucking cock tease. "Awww...why not, baby?" she replied, kissing my neck. "Because I can't promise you I can keep my hands off of you if you keep doing this...that dance was enough to get me, Detta...don't tease me." I plead. "I'm not teasing you, Zachary. I'm advertising...giving you a little preview..." she whispered in my ear. "Preview?" I replied. It was getting harder to breathe with every single breath I drew. "Mhm..." she said, kissing my lips. "Preview to what?" I asked her. She unbuttoned my jeans and slid her hands just below my waistband. "Like I told you before, you'll see." she replied. "God, Detta, you are such a fucking tease." I whispered. She laughed. "Zachary...Lei mi ama. You love me." she said. I nodded, it was all I could manage after that. "Don't you?" she said, pushing her hands further into my jeans. "I do...L'amo. L'amo così molto," I said.

"Awww...now you're speaking my language." she purred. Fuck. Just breathe, Zacky, I told myself. "I'm learning..." I told her. "Yeah, you are...it's cute...I like it." she said. Her hands were now completely down my jeans, wrapped around me. What was she doing? Had she changed her mind? If not, she had surely lost it, or I was going to...oh fuck...no, there is no way. Detta was now on her knees in front of me. She had never done this in the time we'd been together, a little over a year, and to my knowledge, she had never done it at all. What possessed her to do it now? I had no idea, but I didn't think it would last long once she wrapped her lips around me. Those snakebites...oh God, those snakebites on those perfect lips...I grabbed the sides of the chair as she licked her lips, preparing to take me in.

Detta POV-

I was hesitant, but I wasn't going to stop. I was going to do this for him. He deserved it. I could handle this. I hesitantly placed my lips around the tip of his erection. "Fuck, Detta." he moaned. Was that good or bad? Was I doing it right? "You like that?" I asked. "God yes. Don't stop." he replied. Don't stop...right. I wrapped my lips around him again and swiped my tongue across the tip. "God..." he growled. Oh my God, Zachary, I thought, do not fucking growl at me! At least I knew I was doing it right. I placed my hands on his knees as my head bobbed up and down, licking and sucking on his manhood. He pushed on the back of my head, causing his erection to go deeper into my throat than I could really manage. I gagged a bit and pulled away. "Don't do that." I breathed, wiping my mouth. He wasn't finished. I still had work to do. "Sorry." he replied, his tone husky, breathing labored. I licked the bead of cum that had begun to form on the tip off before taking him into my mouth again. Ugh, that taste. It wasn't disgusting, but I wasn't fond of it. I did know, however, he would probably enjoy this more if I didn't pull away when he was ready to come. I would just deal with it. This was the first and probably the last time I would ever do this anyway. I just felt like showing him some appreciation, and helping him release the sexual tension that was surely built up inside of him by then. After a few more motions, his release came and his body shivered beneath mine as I pulled away. I choked back the fluid in my mouth, my eyes watering. I wiped my mouth, sitting on my legs in front of Zacky as he tried to regain his breath. It wasn't as bad as I thought it would be, but it wasn't enjoyable. Piper could never find out about this. I would NEVER hear the end of it. "God...Jesus Christ, Detta..." Zacky said, taking my face into his hands and kissing my lips. "Was it okay?" I asked. He nodded, placing a kiss on my forehead. "It was...fucking amazing." he replied. Good, I thought to myself. He helped me to my feet and pulled me to him. "You're amazing...but I must ask you...why did you do that?" I laughed and shook my head, my hands in his. "I dunno. I just felt like doing something for you. I figured you'd like that."

"Well you figured right." he said, kissing my neck. "Mmm...don't...please." I said. His hands had found my breasts. For some reason I was already turned on, and he wasn't helping. I still wasn't ready to have sex. His hands moved down onto my waist and pulled me closer to him, our bodies grinding against one another. "I'm gonna go take a shower." I said, kissing the deathbat on his chest. "You want company?" he asked. Normally I would've said yes, but after what had just happened, I was bound to be pinned against the shower wall within minutes.

Zacky POV-

I texted Matt as soon as I heard the shower start up. "Dude...I think I'm fucking dreaming." I said. "What do you mean?" he replied. "I think I just had a dream that Detta gave me head. Detta doesn't do that." I answered. "Why are you telling me this?" he asked. "Because I can't believe it...is this real fucking life? Did that really just happen?" I sent. "How the fuck am I supposed to know? Ask Detta if it's real...shit, pinch yourself...something." he said. I pinched myself. Fuck, that hurt. "Yeah it's real." I replied. "...really? Really, Zack?" Matt said. "Yeah..."

Matt didn't text me back. I didn't figure he would. I changed clothes and went into the bathroom to shave a few minutes later, just after the shower shut off. Detta was standing at the counter, brushing her teeth. I walked up behind her and placed a kiss on her cheek. "I love you." I told her. "I love you too." she replied, spitting a mouthful of toothpaste into the sink and I couldn't help but laugh. She smacked me hard in my chest. "Ow..." I said, still laughing. "You freak." she said. "You did it." I said, lathering my face with shaving cream. "You let me!" she replied. "Detta..." I said, raising an eyebrow at her. "What?" she said, arms folded across her chest. "Baby...I love you...but you made the move. You started it...and I know this sounds bad but I wasn't going to tell you no."

"I know...and I didn't mind doing it near as much as I thought I would...just don't get used to it, okay? I can't promise you when the next one will be, if there is one." she told me, sitting on the counter, watching me shave. "You don't have to ever do it again if you don't want to. You didn't have to tonight. Not saying I didn't enjoy it, because I did. A lot..." I replied. "I knew you would...that's why I did it...and you cut yourself." she said, reaching over and wiping my chin. "Thanks." I said, rinsing my face off. "Mhm...you're welcome." she replied. "You know I could always return the favor..." I told her. She shook her head. "Uh huh...you've never told me no before." I said. "I am now." she said, pulling me by the hand toward her. She wrapped her legs and arms around me, still sitting on the bathroom counter, resting her head on my shoulder. I wrapped my arms around her waist and carried her into the bedroom, laying her on the bed. Her legs were still wrapped around me. "You not gonna let me go?" I asked her. She shook her head, smiling at me. "You know what this looks like, don't you?" I said. She giggled and nodded. "You're a tease you know that?"

Detta laughed and pushed against my pelvis. "Okay, that's it." I said, reaching down and tickling her. She laughed loudly, squirming, trying to get away from me. She removed her legs from my waist and rolled off the other side of the bed, still laughing so hard that tears were streaming down her face. "You can't get me now." she said, sticking her tongue out. "Oh yeah?" I asked, crawling toward her on the bed. "Nope!" she replied, running toward the door. She opened it up and ran down the hallway. I jumped off the bed and took off after her. It had been a while since we'd played around like this. I caught up to her and grabbed her around the waist from behind, picking her up and cradling her in my arms like she was our infant son. I opened the door to one of the guest rooms and laid her on the bed, hovering over her, kissing her gently. "Gotcha." I said.

"You may have gotten me this time, Mr. Baker, but you won't catch me again." she said, inching back. She was gonna run again. "Uh huh...you remember that night in Detroit, don't you? When I chased you all around the hotel? Then I caught you, and we made love...and then you ran again...and I caught you again...and we made love...again..." I replied, taking a step every time she would. "Mhm...come get me." she said, breaking into a run. She headed down the stairs and jumped the last three. I hopped over the banister, nearly slipping on the marble floor, but caught her once again. "I thought you said I wouldn't catch you again. You were wrong...know what that means?" I said, breathless. "That you're gonna kiss me, and tickle me, and I'm gonna hop on your back and we're gonna go up to the bedroom and you're gonna kiss me some more...and tell me how much you love me...and as soon as we fall asleep, Plague's gonna wake up or Zacky's gonna have a bad dream..." she replied. I laughed and kissed her forehead. "Pretty much." I replied. "Can we skip the tickling?" she asked. "If you want to...I like making you squirm, though."

Detta POV-

I had missed our playful games of cat and mouse. I also loved the way Zacky had said 'made love'...because that's what it had been that night in Detroit. I think that may have been the night I got pregnant with Plague, but it could've been any night. "Is that so?" I asked him, kissing his lips. "Mhm...I do...but if you don't want me to tickle you again..." he said, shrugging, letting go of me. I braced myself. He would turn around and grab me again in three, two..."Nah, just kidding!" he said, grabbing me around the waist once more and tickling my sides. I couldn't help but squeal. "Shhh...quiet...you might wake up the kids." he whispered into my ear. "Isn't it supposed to be 'shh, quiet, you might piss somebody off'?" I asked. He laughed and kissed the bridge of my nose. "You're right. I may wanna work on that before we start touring again." he nodded. "Touring? You're gonna start touring again?" I asked. "Um...yeah we are, for a few months...just found out today, actually." he replied. My smile faded. "So you're gonna be leaving us?" I said. "Yeah..." he said, sitting on the couch, pulling on my hand. I shook my head. I wanted to cry. I knew I'd have to face this at some point or another, but I didn't know how I would handle it. Zacky leaving us? Me, Little Zacky, and Plague left alone for months without their father. "Baby, you knew this was gonna happen." he said, pulling on my hand once again. "I know, but...it's just really gonna suck...will you be back in time for our wedding or are we gonna have to push it back?" I asked. "No, no, no, I'll be home a month before the wedding..." he replied. "A month! When do you leave? How long will you be gone?" I demanded. Our wedding was ten months away, meaning nine months from now, he'd be returning from tour. The question was, when was he leaving, and for how long? "Not for another couple of months...two, I think. We'll be gone between two and three months." he replied. "Zacky I don't know that I can handle you being gone...I'm so used to being with you all the time." I told him. "I know, but little man will be in school, and we can't take Plague out on the road...besides, you wanted to start school...you can't do that on the road."

He made very valid points, but I just didn't want to hear it. I wanted him there. It may have been selfish, but I wanted him with me all the time. I sat down on his lap and wrapped my arms around his neck. "I hate it...but I know you have to go. We'll miss you, though." I told him. "And I'll miss you, all three of you, but I'll be home...and I won't be gone forever, just for a couple of months...I'll call and text every day...and I'll get online and we can iChat...it'll be okay, I promise."

-A WEEK LATER-

I dropped the shopping bags in the foyer and sat Plague's carseat down before taking him out of it. "Come on little man." I said, cradling him in my arms. Zack was at the reheasal studio and wouldn't be home for hours, and little Zacky was at school for at least two more hours. "Me and you are gonna take a nap here in a minute...just after Mommy puts the groceries up." I said to him. He didn't really react. He just stared back at me with his dad's eyes. He was beautiful, just like his father. I kissed his forehead and laid him in his bassinet while gathering the groceries to take into the kitchen. The light was blinking on the answering machine; there was no telling who it was, no one ever called the house. I pressed the button and started putting the groceries in the cabinet. "Zachary, this is Maria. I just wanted to call and check on you. Your yearly appointment is coming up. Congratulations on two years clean, Zachary. Give me a call back as soon as possible."

The cans in my hand clattered to the floor. Two years clean? There was no way that's what she had said. No way in hell. He wouldn't keep something like that from me. I hit play again and leaned against the counter. The message replayed and there was no mistaking what she said. Two years clean. Tears flooded my eyes. I left the groceries lying in the kitchen and picked Plague up from his bassinet, putting him back in the carseat and headed back outside, to the car. I could barely see to walk, I didn't know how I was going to drive, but somehow I was going to. I drove to Zacky's school and checked him out early, trying to hide the fact that I'd been crying. Luckily he didn't notice. He just sat in the backseat playing with Plague. "Why are we going to Auntie Piper's?" he asked when I turned onto Matt and Piper's street.

"I just need to talk to her...you go upstairs and play when we get there, okay?" I said. "Okay." he said before returning to playing with his brother. I pulled into their driveway and opened the door, pulling Plague from his carseat and walked up to the door. I knocked lightly and waited. Piper opened the door, Rev on her hip. "Girl you know you could've let yourself in. Come in." she said, moving aside so we could come in. "Thanks. Zacky go play..." I said. He ran up the stairs and disappeared. "Uh oh. What's going on?" Piper asked. Immediately my eyes flooded with tears again. "Detta..." she said, laying a hand on my shoulder. "Zacky...he..." I couldn't stop crying. I cradled Plague against my chest so I wouldn't drop him. "Come in here and sit down. Let's talk." she replied, guiding me into the living room. We sat down on the couch and she set Rev in his swing. "Talk to me." she said, taking my hand. "I got home from the grocery store and there was a message on the machine...so I played it...and..." I drew in a deep breath again. "It was some girl...named Maria. She said she was calling to check on him and let him know his yearly 'appointment' was coming up...and then...she congratulated him on...two years being clean."

Piper's jaw dropped. She was in just as much shock as I was. "Being clean?" she asked. I nodded, tears spilling over my lashes. "I didn't know...he never told me. I never hide anything from him anymore. He knows everything about me, every deep, dark, shameful little detail about me and he hides this from me...I mean what else is he hiding from me? I don't even know what to think or do...I'm so mad...and hurt...I love him, Piper...but I just...why? Why would he keep that from me?" I had so many questions raging inside of me. I knew Piper didn't have the answer, but I had to get it out. She rubbed my arm in an effort to comfort me. Plague was becoming fussy in my arms. "I didn't even bring his diaper bag." I said, wiping tears from my face. "It's okay. You left some of his diapers and clothes over here last week and he and Rev use the same formula...I'll fix him a bottle. You stay here."

Piper disappeared momentarily and came back with a warm bottle for Plague. "Thanks." I said, taking it from her. "No problem..." she replied, taking Rev out of his swing. We sat on the couch in silence, feeding our sons. "I don't know what to do, Piper...I love him. I love him so much. He's an amazing father and he's so good to me...but I cannot imagine what would possess him to hide this from me. I know I've kept things from him before, and I know it's hypocritical of me to be angry, but this is different. I didn't tell him I was raped, or that I used to cut myself...he's keeping the fact that he was a drug addict away from me." I said, sitting Plague up to burp him. "I know, Detta...but maybe he's scared or ashamed. Zacky loves you. He would never ever hurt you or want to lose you. Maybe that's it." she suggested. "That still doesn't change the fact that he's lying to me by omission." I stated. "No, it doesn't and I'm upset with him too. He should've told you...but he didn't, and I'm sure he has a logical reason as to why he didn't tell you." she said. I knew she was right, but I just couldn't help but be angry. Drugs had ruined the lives of too many people I loved. Drugs had taken away Chris. No, he wasn't on drugs, but Kale was, and so was Reagan, and because of them, Chris was never coming back.

"I'm home baby..." Matt's voice came from the front door. "Shhhh..." Piper said. "Oh...sorry." he whispered, coming in and kissing Piper and Rev. "Hey Detta." he said, smiling warmly and waving. "Hey Matt." I replied. "What's wrong girl? You look upset. Smile, beautiful." he said, sitting down betwen Piper and I. "You're too sweet, Matt." I told him. "Well, you are beautiful. I have no problem admitting that. Piper has no problem with me admitting that. She agrees. Right, baby?" he said, looking to Piper. "Of course I do. She's my best friend. I think she's stunning." she replied. "See?" Matt said. "You're really too sweet for your own good." I told him, shaking my head. "Just me being me...now, what's the matter?" he asked. "Just...stuff. Do me a favor and don't tell Zack I'm here, okay? I don't really wanna talk to him right now." I plead. "No problem...but am I gonna have to kick his ass? Did he upset you?" he asked me, laying a hand on my arm. I shook my head. Matt had become like a big brother to me, and I absolutely adored him. He was, besides Zacky, my best male friend, and at that current moment, he was my best male friend. "You're sure?" he asked. "It's just..." I started, searching for the words as my phone began to vibrate in my pocket. "That's probably him." I said. "Don't answer it. He'll figure out where you are eventually." Piper said, laying Rev on a blanket on the floor to nap. "You want me to put Plague down there with him?" she asked, holding her hands out. I handed my baby to her and she cradled him against her gently, kissing the top of his head before laying him on the floor next to Rev.

"So, tell me what happened." Matt said, pulling Piper onto his lap. "Zacky's apparently been hiding something from me." I said. "Like what?" he asked. I went over the story I'd told Piper earlier. All three of our phones vibrated and the house phone rang, but they all went unanswered. "So did you know about that?" I asked Matt. I knew he would be honest with me. "Well, yeah, but I thought he would've told you by now. I don't like airing people's business. I can't believe he's never told either of you, but especially you, Detta. That's crazy. I'm really sorry, honey." he said, taking my hand. "It's just so hard to believe he'd keep that from me, you know? Like I told Piper, I know I've kept things from him before but I just cannot believe he'd keep something this big from me." I said, tears streaming down my cheeks. "I know, and I know it can't be easy. I understand why he wouldn't tell you, but that doesn't make it right." he replied softly. Matt may have looked tough, but he was really a big softie. The doorbell rang a few moments later. "That's probably him." I said, looking toward the entrance way. "Do you want me to get it, or do you want to?" Piper asked. "I don't want to talk to him...we'll just wind up fighting, and I don't want to fight." I said. "Then I'll get it...but I promise you, it won't be pretty." she replied, getting up and walking to the door.

Zacky POV-

I stood at the door of Matt and Piper's house, hands in my pockets, waiting for someone to let me in. Normally, I would've let myself in, but with the mood Detta was likely to be in after hearing the message Maria had left me, I decided it was best to ring the bell. Piper opened the door, instantly glaring at me. "Is Detta here?" I asked. I already knew the answer to that question, but to play it safe, it was best to act dumb. "Yep." Piper replied, crossing her arms. "Can I talk to her?" I asked. Piper shook her head. "Nope. She doesn't want to talk to you, and frankly, Zachary, I can't blame her." The door slammed shut in my face and I lifted my hand to knock but decided against it. It was probably best not to. She'd probably need the diaper bag that she'd left behind at the house, so I walked back to my car and got it out, carrying it up to the door and ringing the bell once more. Piper yanked the door open and glared at me once more. "Can I help you, Mr. Baker?" she asked. I deserved that. "I figured Detta might need this." I said, holding the bag out. She took it from me and set it down inside before stepping outside and shutting the door behind her. "You really messed up." she said quietly. "I know." I replied, sitting down on the steps. "I can't blame her for being angry...and while you may have had a good reason to hide it from her, you had just as many reasons to tell her. She had your child, Zacky. You guys are planning a wedding. Her son idolizes you...and most importantly, she feels betrayed...you better devise a plan to fix this, and soon. Now, I'm gonna get back inside before I cross the line laid forth by the girlfriends' code...but you need to fix this. I know it's not easy to talk to her when she's pissed at you, but I suggest you figure something out." Piper said. I nodded. "Do you think it's safe to come in?" I asked. "It's worth a try." she shrugged.

Detta POV-

I stood in the kitchen, sipping on a glass of wine as Matt sipped at a bottle of water. "Do you want me to go talk to him?" he asked. "No...Piper's probably out there giving him the third degree already. It's okay." I said, hopping up onto the counter. The front door opened and Piper came in, followed by Zacky. "He better not even think about speaking to me." I mumbled, downing the last of my wine before setting the glass in the sink. Matt rasied an eyebrow at me. "You just chugged wine." he said. "I did not." I replied, wiping my mouth with my hand. Zacky stood in the doorway, unmoving, silent, his eyes fixed on me. I pretended like I didn't see him. "So...how did things go at the studio today, Matt?" I asked. "Um...good...got a few songs done..." he said, putting an arm around Piper's shoulders. "That's good." I replied as Plague began to scream. I hopped down off the counter and brushed past my fiance and went into the living room, picking my son up off the floor. "Shh...it's okay, baby...Mommy's here." I said, rubbing his back. He screamed louder. I looked him over to make sure he wasn't hurt or wet. I walked around the living room, cradling him in my arms, trying everything I could think of to soothe him. "Do you need me to..." Zacky started, stepping into the living room. "No. I've got him." I replied, sitting in the rocker, gently rocking back and forth. Still, Plague screamed. Tears filled my eyes and spilled onto my cheeks. "Zacky..." I said, feeling helpless, frustrated. He walked over and gently took Plague from my arms. "Hey...Daddy's got you..." he said, kissing Plague's forehead. He instantly stopped crying. I sighed, defeated. I couldn't stay mad at him, especially not when he was holding our son. "I want so badly to be angry at you but I just can't." I said, resting my elbows on my knees, burying my face in my hands. "Hey...I'm sorry. I really, really am. I should've told you..." he said, hooking his finger around one of mine. I looked up at him, my face tear streaked. "You really should have. You could have. Would I have been upset? Of course I would have...but Zacky, I'm more upset that you hid it from me. This is something we should be celebrating and instead...look at us."

Zacky POV-

Detta had a point. I had a feeling this wasn't over. Later that night, when we were back at home and the boys were in bed, we'd argue and then make up by morning. "I know...and I have no justification for hiding it...I'm sorry. Please, forgive me. I love you." I knelt down in front of my fiancee, our son in my arms, and pulled off my sunglasses so she could look into my eyes and know I was sincere. "Zacky...I forgive you, but you know this just...I have to wonder what else you've kept from me." Detta said quietly. "I promise, this is all. I swear. I kept this from you for the same reasons you kept your secrets from me, Detta...I know that doesn't make it right, but please tell me you understand. I'm just as afraid to lose you as you are to lose me. You're my world, Detta, you, and our boys...and if I lost you, I'd have no purpose to go on. I'd have nothing to live for...I should've thought about that before I hid this from you, I know...you don't have to tell me...just tell me you forgive me...please. I'm begging you."

Detta POV-

I silently damned Zacky for being so damn cute. Damn those eyes, damn that voice, damn it all. I kissed his forehead. "You're lucky I can't live without you." I whispered in his ear. He smirked and handed me Plague so he could get up. "You wanna go home now?" he asked. "We can..." I replied, handing Plague back to him. "He really does look just like me, doesn't he?" he said, putting Plague's binkie in his mouth. "Mhm...but I think Zacky looks like you, too..and he isn't even biologically yours." I replied quietly, slipping my shoes back on. Rev was still asleep, so I didn't want to wake him. "I'll go get him and we'll go." I said, kissing my fiance's cheek. "Alright." he answered. I slowly made my way up the stairs to the game room where my oldest son was sitting in Matt's lap, playing Guitar Hero, as usual. "Come on you." I said, leaning in the doorway. "Just let us finish this song, Mommy." he said, not breaking focus. Matt was singing and Zacky was on guitar, playing "Afterlife". "Just this one." I said, turning to go back downstairs. I gave in to Big Zacky way too easily. I should still be angry at him, but I just couldn't be. Besides, I would hate for my son to know we were fighting. Every time we argued, he got upset, fearing we would be leaving again. I couldn't put him through that. Later that night, when the boys were in bed, I knew exactly what would happen; we'd argue for a bit, talk it out, make up, take care of the boys, and hope that Plague would sleep through the night tomorrow so we could rest. That was just how we worked. Arguing was never fun, it was never easy, but we always seemed to work it out. We had to. We were too afraid to know what life would be like without one another.

We loaded Plague into my car and Zacky chose to ride with his dad. I thanked both Piper and Matt for being there for me when I needed to cry before I pulled out of the driveway and followed my fiance home. My phone beeped, alerting me to a text message as I pulled up to the stop sign on their street. "Sucker." it said. Piper. I laughed to myself and hit reply. "I know, but I love him...he's good to me, and I can't really be angry at him for something I've done myself. So what he's not perfect? He's mine..." I sent back. "You two are too cute. Love you all." she replied. "Love you too, Piper. Tell Matt I said thanks again and love him. Give Rev a kiss for me." I threw my phone back into my purse as I pulled into the driveway of my home. I had yet to become accustomed to such a large house. I'd lived with my parents, and their house was nice, but not as nice as Zacky's. I'd lived in one bedroom apartments, trailers, and even in a shelter; to be living in a place as big as I was now felt like a dream. Being with Zacky was like a dream. Chris always joked with me when we were together that I was thinking about Zacky when we'd have sex, that he would always be second best to Zacky V, but that was okay, he loved me anyway. He'd tease me about leaving him for Zacky someday. I once told him I doubted that would ever happen, but if and when I met Zacky, we'd just have to see.

I never thought of Zacky when Chris and I had sex, and I wouldn't really consider Chris second best, but it was at that moment that it really made all the sense in the world. I had known for a while now that Zacky was 'the one', but it never made sense to me why Chris was gone, why he wasn't the one opening the car door and taking a baby out of the back seat that we made together, why he wasn't the one who had put a ring on my finger, and come to love me and the bastard child I had as his own. Zacky and I were destined to be together, with our children, as a family, no matter how many arguments we had, how many secrets we hid from one another. None of that mattered, as long as we had one another, everything would be okay.

Zacky POV-

I could tell by the look on Detta's face that she was completely lost in thought-probably thinking of ways to kill me. I couldn't blame her, really. I sent Little Zacky upstairs to take his bath and put Plague into his bouncy seat so I could keep an eye on him while Detta and I started dinner. It had become our nightly routine since getting back off the road. "Hey Zack..." she said quietly, as she walked into the kitchen. "What's up, baby?" I replied, checking the refrigerator. "Can I talk to you for a minute?" she asked, drawing invisible shapes onto the counter with her finger. "Yeah, what's going on?" I asked, closing the refrigerator and walking over to her. I took her hands into mine, breaking her focus on her invisible art. She looked into my eyes, a serious look on her face. "I just want you to know how much I really do love you." she said. For some reason, that scared me. Normally it wouldn't have, but in that moment, I was terrified. Was she trying to leave me...again? "What are you trying to say?" I asked her. "I'm trying to say that I came to a realization today. No matter how many secrets we keep from one another, no matter how angry I get at you, or how much I piss you off, no matter how much we get on one another's nerves, we're meant to be...me and you, and our boys. This is where I'm supposed to be, here, with you...we're a family, and I've never had a family, outside of the Davises...I don't want to lose this...ever. I want to stop having stupid fights. I think we did really well today, we didn't yell or scream or cuss at each other...I don't know why we do that sometimes, but I know it can't be good for the kids...or ourselves. Sure, I ran to Piper and cried, but she's my best friend...that's to be expected. I just want you to know that I know now, more than ever, that you are the one I'm destined to spend the rest of my life with and I wouldn't have it any other way. I love you."

Tears were streaking her perfect face as she spilled her heart out to me. I wasn't really positive on what to say. How do you respond to that? I took her into my arms and held her as she cried. "I love you, too." I said to her several times. She pulled away a few moments later, the tears gone, a smile pulling at the corners of her mouth. "So I was thinking earlier..." she said, pulling food from the refrigerator. "What about?" I asked. Detta thinking could be dangerous. "Our wedding. All the planning's done. We've just got to get the dresses and tuxes...and I don't want Piper to be uncomfortably pregnant when we get married, or a new mother. We've got the date set right now really close to her due date. Why don't we move it up?" she suggested. "To when?" I replied. I didn't really mind if we did, that was fine with me. I loved the idea of her having my last name. "Next month? I've almost lost all my baby fat and can almost fit into my dress...what do you say?" she asked, a smile on her face. She really wanted to do this, and I couldn't deny her happiness. "Sure. Why the fuck not? Why wait?" I replied. She squealed and wrapped her arms around me once more.

Detta POV-

"I'll call Piper. I talked to her this morning about it and she said to talk to you about it and see what you thought. This is so exciting. Soon I'll be Mrs. Zachary Baker." I said, hugging Zacky tightly. "We can go tomorrow and get the marriage license if you want to. What day next month are you thinking?" he asked me. "Soon...like maybe within the next two weeks." I replied. "Two weeks?" he asked. "If that's okay with you..." I added. I hoped he wouldn't disagree to that. I honestly didn't want to wait that long. I'd be willing to pack the kids up at that very moment and elope, but Piper would be pissed off if I got married without her, and I couldn't blame her. We'd always promised we'd be one another's maid of honor. "No, it's fine...two weeks...still want to have it here?" he replied. I smiled once again, nodding. "Yeah. Here...little man as the ring bearer...everything how we had it planned...just sooner. Something just tells me to move it up."

After we finished dinner and cleaned the kitchen, I called Piper to tell her that the wedding was a go in two weeks. "Two weeks? Wow. Okay. I should still fit in my dress by then." she replied. "You will. You totally will." I assured her. She was actually showing real signs and symptoms of pregnancy this time, including a growing baby bump. "I hope so. I'm so happy for you, Detta." she told me. "That means more than you can know to me...it really, really does." I replied. "Why is that?" she asked. "Because of Chris. I'm moving on and that's okay with you...it's okay with me, too...I've come to realize, finally, that there's nothing to hang onto. Chris and I had a great relationship, and I thought he was the one...but he wasn't. Zacky is. Chris was right, in a way, I guess." I said. Piper laughed. "You mean when he used to tell you he could see you leaving him for Zacky?" she replied. "Yep...he always used to tease me...and now look at me...I'm marrying Zacky...the man of my wildest dreams..." I said. "Yeah...you are. Chris would be happy for you, Detta. He loved you, and he wanted the best for you. And even though you two have your ups and downs, you guys are perfect for one another. You bring out the absolute best in the other and that's how it should be. There was always something missing with you and my brother, and I'll be the first to admit that. I am honestly happy for you. You deserve to be happy, and so does Zacky."

Two weeks later, I was standing in the guest room, staring out the window that overlooked the back yard. It was completely set up and decorated and the guests were beginning to arrive. I looked over at the closet where my dress was hanging. "You gonna put it on or not?" Piper asked, smoothing her own dress out. "Of course I am. Will you help me?" I asked. She nodded. "Of course." She crossed the room and took the hanger down off the hook, bringing the dress over to me. I took off my robe and stepped into the dress, holding it against myself so it wouldn't fall. Piper zipped it up and tied the sash around it and helped me fix my veil. "Aww...Detta..." she whispered. "Don't cry. If you cry, I cry, and my makeup will go to hell." I said, hugging her. "You look amazing. Zacky is gonna be blown away." she replied, fixing my veil again. "Where is he?" I asked. I didn't want him to see me before the wedding. "He's outside, Miss Superstition." she told me, laughing. "Oh. Okay...where are the kids?" Piper laughed again, shaking her head. "They're with Mom. She's got this under control. You worry about you. This is your day. Don't stress." she told me. I smiled at my best friend, trying not to cry. "You ready?" Matt's voice came from the doorway. "Yep. Ready as I'll ever be." I replied. Matt was one of Zacky's groomsmen, but he was also walking me down the aisle. My dad had refused, and when he did, Matt offered and I accepted. I couldn't turn him down, he was pretty much my brother. I turned around and walked toward him, picking up my dress so I wouldn't step on it. "You look gorgeous." he said, linking his arm with mine as we walked down the steps. "Thank you, Matt." I replied. "And so do you." he said, kissing Piper's cheek. We reached the bottom of the steps and I stopped dead in my tracks, my breath caught in my chest. "Papa..." I whispered. My grandfather smiled and held his hand out to me. "Come, my little principessa." he said. "Papa..." I said, wrapping my arms around his neck. How he'd gotten there, I had no idea, but he was there, that's all that mattered. "Where's Nonna?" I asked, my voice rattling. I was trying to hold myself together, but I hadn't seen Nonna and Papa in years...since right after Zacky was born. "She's out there...waiting for you. Lei è una bella sposa, principessa." he replied. "Little change of plans." Matt whispered, kissing my cheek. I turned and smiled at Matt and Piper with tears forming in my eyes. "Matt...thank you..." I said, hugging him. "Don't thank me...thank your groom." he replied. "Zack..." I whispered, looking out the back doors. "He brought your Nonna and me here, all the way from Italy...just to be here for this because he knew how much it would mean to you. He takes care of you, and your bambini. You have a good man, Vendetta." my Papa told me.

Zacky POV-

I stood at the end of the aisle leading from the back doors of my house out into the yard next to my brother and bandmates, waiting on my fiancee to make her way to me. The two ushers opened the doors as the bridal march began and Matt and Piper stepped out, followed by Detta and her grandfather, the setting sun cast a beautiful light on her. The ivory of her dress was beautiful on her olive skin, her black hair cascading in curls down her back and over her shoulders. I felt my eyes watering more and more the closer she got. Her Papa lifted her veil and kissed her cheek. In all honesty, all I can remember after that is Detta's eyes, and the way she looked at me. This was such a defining moment for us. We'd been through so much together. This was the moment it was all going to change. No more secrets, we vowed. Honesty, trust, love, compassion, understanding,dedication...we vowed to one another those would be the qualities we strived to have for one another in our marriage.

After the reception was over and everyone was gone, Detta and I sat in our living room with our kids, the house quiet. "So, I uh...I got you a wedding present." I told her. "Awww...you didn't have to. I didn't get you anything." she replied. "I know, but this I had to do...I know it's important to you." I said, standing up and walking into my office. I opened the safe and pulled out the envelope holding the four plane tickets and walked back into the living room. "I hope you have a passport." I said, handing her the envelope. "I do, but why do I need a passport?" she replied, looking down at the envelope. "Open it and find out. I got Zacky one...it came in the mail yesterday. Plague doesn't need one because he's so young, but..." I stopped as she pulled the tickets out of the envelope and her eyes filled with tears. "Italy..." she whispered. "Yeah...I figured it'd be nice to go there...visit with your grandparents and see the country. I've been. It's amazing...but I know you've never been and I remember the first night we talked, you said it was your dream to go to Italy. I want to make your dream come true." I told her.

Detta reached over and wrapped her arms around my neck, kissing my lips. "Thank you. Thank you so much. Oh my God. I love you! You are the best husband in the whole entire world." she said, tears streaking her face. I smiled at the word husband. At no point in my marriage to Gena had the thought of being her husband made me smile like it did with Detta. "We leave in the morning...when your grandparents fly out...we do, too." I told her. "God, I love you...so fucking much, Zack. You just don't know..." Detta said.

Detta POV-

As we boarded the plane, my stomach was in knots. I couldn't believe I was going to Italy. The flight was long, drawn out, and tiring, but when we finally landed in Italy, I was awake and alive, ready to see the country. Papa turned around and smiled at me, holding my Nonna's hand. "Welcome to Tuscany, my sweet bambina..." he said. "It's beautiful, Papa..." I replied, holding tightly to my oldest son's hand. Nonna and Papa took a taxi home while Zack and I took one to our hotel to settle in for the night before we really began our honeymoon the next day.

We settled in and ordered in for dinner. The boys were absolutely exhausted and so was I. The next morning, we met up with Nonna and Papa. They were going to show us around Florence. "So, does Zachary treat you well?" Nonna asked, patting my hand as we ate lunch at a little restaurant. I held her hand in mine and smiled. "Yes, Nonna, he is very good to me...he loves me, and Zacky, and Plague..." I told her. "Good. You deserve the best, nothing less." she told me. Her eyes crinkled when she smiled. "I think I've found the best, Nonna." I said. Zack and Papa were lost in conversation, Little Zacky staring at them, Plague asleep in the crook of my arm. "You have beautiful children...they have a beautiful mother...and now, Zachary has a father." she said. I nodded, smiling over at my husband. "He does. They have a wonderful father. I've been very blessed."

"I want you to know that no matter what, your Papa and I have always and will always love you." Nonna said. For some reason, I had this feeling in the pit of my stomach that she wouldn't be with us much longer. She was old, I knew that, but I didn't want to think about losing her.

Zacky POV-

We woke the next morning to a phone call from Detta's Papa. Her grandmother had died peacefully in her sleep the night before. Poor Detta was devastated, completely heartbroken. We helped her grandpa organize the funeral and extended our stay by a few days to help him out. I promised Detta that whenever the boys were older, we'd come back so she could really enjoy the country.

Detta POV-two months later

I didn't know how much longer I could take it. It had been months since Zacky and I had sex. I felt strange, and I was craving it, bad. Something had to be done. Zacky had at least gotten off in the past four months, I hadn't. That was partly my fault, I hadn't given in to him when he'd offered, but I had been feeling insecure. Fuck insecurity, I thought, I'm getting me some tonight. Zacky's mom had called that morning wanting to see the boys anyway, and I'd need a while to feel satisfied. I called my mother-in-law to tell her she could come get the boys if she still wanted to. She said she'd be over soon and I packed the diaper bag and packed an overnight bag for Little Zacky quickly. As soon as they were gone, I pulled out my phone and called Zack. "Yes, my love?" he answered. "When are you coming home?" I asked. "On my way now...why? Is everything okay?" he replied. "Yeah...the boys went home with your mom...she wanted to see them." I told him. "Oh okay. You wanna go out to dinner when I get there?" he asked. "That sounds good...dinner is good. We'll do that." I replied. "Okay...you sure everything's okay, Detta?" he said. "Yeah...I'm fine. Perfect. Gonna go get ready for dinner. I love you."

I hung up the phone and practically ran up the stairs to change clothes. I put on a strapless black and purple corset dress and pulled a pair of fishnets over my legs, slipping my feet into a pair of shiny black stilettos. I looked in the mirror and for the first time in months, I felt sexy. I smiled, I was sexy again. I swiped lip gloss across my lips, applied mascara and eyeliner, and stuck my ID and phone into a small purse before heading down the stairs. Zack had just walked in the door when I stepped off the last step. "Well hello there, gorgeous." he said, walking over and kissing me. "Non posso prendergli un più lungo.." I told him plainly. "What? I didn't catch that, babe. Speak English." he said. I didn't even realize I was speaking in Italian. "What?" I replied. "Slow down. I didn't catch some of those words, babe. My Italian isn't as good as yours." he said. I rolled my eyes, exasperated. "E 'stato quattro mesi da quando abbiamo fatto sesso, Zack. Ne ho bisogno adesso. Non posso andare un altro minuto senza di te dentro di me." I said. "Vendetta! Baby...I'm not that good at Italian...all I understood was four, sex, Zack, can't, and me. I know you don't want to have sex." he replied. Had I not made myself perfectly clear? It was English in my head, but according to him, it was all coming out in Italian. "FUCK ME, ZACHARY!" I said. I don't know if it came out in English or Italian, but he didn't hesitate in picking me up and carrying me to the bedroom. He laid me on the bed, pulling my shoes off, followed by my fishnets and underwear. My dress went up and his shirt came off, a few buttons popping in different directions as it did. I unbuttoned his jeans and he stood, pulling them off with his boxers. "Are you sure you're ready?" he asked, kissing me. "God, yes, please, Zack...I'm begging you. It's been too long. Just fuck me." I said. I had never been so direct about it.

His fingers explored every inch of my body, his mouth trailing hot kisses everywhere, his eyes bright. I knew he was going to enjoy this as much as I was. His fingers gently pushed into territory they hadn't explored in a long while. I moaned and writhed in pleasure as he slowly moved his fingers in and out, getting me ready. His lips met my thigh momentarily before parting my folds, swiping his tongue across my hot core, causing me to arch my back, nearly screaming his name as my body twitched from the electric-like currents that were rushing through my veins. "Jesus Christ," I stuttered, trying to catch my breath.

Just as I caught my breath, he took it away again. I couldn't help but think of how much better it felt when he entered me that time than it had the month or so after Plague was born.I felt normal again. The waiting had worked wonders. It wasn't the same as it had been before Plague came along, but it was better, much better. "That good?" Zack said, snapping me out of my trance. I pulled his face to mine and pressed my lips to his in repsonse. "That's not an answer." he said. Four months, and he was going to make me talk? I nodded. That wasn't going to be good enough either. He licked his lips and shook his head. "You know better than that...come on...tell me, Detta...tell me how good I am."

Zacky POV-

I never got my answer, but by the time Detta was satisfied, it was nearly nine o'clock and I'd gotten home at half past five. We showered and re-dressed before heading out to dinner. "You feel better now?" I asked her, opening the door to the restaurant. She laughed and nodded. "I do. I feel a lot better." she replied. "Good. Glad I could help." I told her with a wink. She grabbed my hand and kissed my cheek. "I love you. I'm sorry I held out on you for so long." she said. "I didn't mind waiting, Detta." I said. She blushed a bit and smiled at me. "I'm so lucky to have you."

"I think I'm the lucky one." I said into her ear, sitting down on a bench by the door to wait for a table. "Zachary..." I heard. I knew without looking up who it was. I bit my lip and rolled my eyes. "Gena." I said, my teeth clenched. "Who is this?" she asked. I looked up to see my ex, standing alone, hands clasped together, staring down at me and my wife. "This is my wife, Vendetta." I told her. "Wife?" she repeated. "Yes, my wife. We've been married for about oh, two months now...surprised you didn't hear." I snapped. I wasn't quick to anger, but she pissed me off. She knew exactly who Vendetta was. We still shared mutual friends who I'm sure shared information with Gena.

"Aww. Congratulations. I'm Gena." she said, sticking her hand out to Detta. "I know who you are." Detta snapped, her voice laced in an Italian accent. Her hands were both still wrapped around my arm. "Ooh. She's fiesty, Zack." Gena said. "Yeah, she is. One of the many, many things I love about her. She's also beautiful, sweet, funny, a wonderful mother, and faithful...something I can't say for you." I told her as the buzzer in my hand went off. "And now, if you'll excuse us, my wife and I are going to have dinner."

I took Detta by the hand and we walked past Gena, to the hostess, who took us to our table. I pulled Detta's chair out for her and sat down. Gena was still staring at us from afar. "I'm really sorry about that." I told Detta. She shook her head and grabbed my hand from across the table. "Baby, that's not your fault...don't apologize. It's okay." she replied. "I just feel like she's ruined our night." I told her. She smiled at me, squeezing my hand. "It's only ruined if you let it be. I'm having a wonderful night with my amazing husband...his ex-wife isn't going to ruin that for me."

Detta always knew what to say to make things better. Gena left my mind and I focused once again on my wife...my beautiful wife, the mother of my children, the love of my life.

When we got back home, we made love again...like never before. This time it was slow, and sweet, and Detta shed a tear or two. I kissed her until we both fell asleep, sometime after four AM. We still had a couple months until tour started, but I knew that with each passing day, the time was coming for me to leave her and the boys at home, alone, without me. Yeah, my mom and dad lived just around the corner, my sister a few miles down the road, and my little brother was an hour away, but that didn't make me any less nervous about leaving them alone.

-A few nights later-

-Detta POV-

I brushed out the two long, straight pigtails and pulled the hair forward over my shoulders, stepped back and looked at myself in the mirror. I looked good. I put on my hat and opened the bathroom door. "So, what do you think?" I asked Zack. He turned around to face me, buttoning his jersey, and stopped. "Um...damn..." he replied, licking his lips. I smiled and walked over to him, finishing buttoning his jersey for him. "You look so cute, Zack," I said, kissing his lips softly. "And you look fucking hot," he answered. I giggled and shook my head. "I know," I told him. I patted his chest and turned to go get my shoes, but a hand on my wrist stopped me. "Where do you think you're going?" he asked me. "To get my shoes," I replied. I licked my lips and smirked at him. He was so damn cute when he was horny. He looked at me for a second before letting me go. I walked into the closet and flipped on the light, digging in the pile of shoes for my old black Converse.

I was looking for the last one when I felt something pressing up against my butt. I laughed out loud and stood up. "God, Zack, really?" I asked, still giggling. "You did it," he said, wrapping his arms around my waist. He planted a kiss on my neck, then bit it softly. "Mm...don't do that...we've gotta party to go to," I said. "So? The party's just downstairs...Matt and Piper are down there, everyone else knows their way around the house. The boys are with my mom and sister. What do we have to worry about?" he asked me. He nuzzled my neck and kissed me behind my ear. "Um...nothing, but don't you think we need to get downstairs?" I asked him. He nipped my earlobe. I had to bite my lip to keep from cussing. He couldn't know I wanted him, too. We had people in our house, and I was kind of paranoid about people being in our house without us supervising. Sure, they were just a floor below us, but sometimes, some of our friends could get out of hand. "No, I don't. I think we need to get down to business, though...you, me, our bed...this costume looks good on you, but I'm pretty sure it'd look better on our bedroom floor," Zack whispered in my ear.

I licked my lips and shook my head, breaking free of his embrace. "I love you..." I said, kissing his cheek. I brushed past him and stood in the doorway of the closet to put on my shoes. Once again, Zack's arms wrapped around my waist, pulling me into him. I could feel through his pants and my skirt thatt I wasn't getting out of the bedroom for a while. "Come on, Detta...you know you want me, don't deny it," he purred into my ear. God...damn it...fuck...Jesus Christ...those were just a few of the thoughts running through my head. "So, just out of curiosity, what if I didn't want you, Zachary? What would you say to that?" I asked. That was it. I had just given in with that statement alone. He kissed the ZV tattoo on the back of my neck. "If that's the case, then I'm just gonna have to change your mind," he replied. I giggled and turned my head so that I could see him. "Right...good luck with that," I teased. "Oh baby, by the time I finish with you, you'll be practically begging me for more. They'll be able to hear you downstairs, even over the music and commotion," he told me. "You think you're that good?" I asked him. "Think? Baby girl...judging from the way you scream my name every night, I don't think. I know how good I am...but it'd be nice to have you tell me again. What do you say?"

I took a deep breath and thought about what to say back. He was in a playful mood. Playful usually meant rough with him, and when he got rough, I liked it. Given my past, I found that strange, but with Zack, God, the rougher the better. "I don't think so...not tonight, no," I said, pulling away from him. I got maybe two steps away before he grabbed me and pushed me up against the wall next to the closet. "Not so fast," he said, pushing my skirt up. I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him softly. "I love you..." I told him. He returned the kiss, rougher, harder, more aggressive. That was what I wanted. I bit on his bottom lip as his hands pushed my underwear to the side. He was wasting no time. He used his weight to push me harder into the wall. "You waste no time, Baker," I said breathlessly as he pulled his mouth from mine. He laughed and kissed my neck, nipping at my collarbone. I don't know why, but that made me whimper. "Oh yeah, you're gonna be screaming before too long. You're already whining at me," he said. I bit my bottom lip and nodded.

He lifted one of my legs with his hand, caressing my thigh. "You ready?" he asked. I nodded again. "You sure?" he asked me. I shook my head, biting on one of my lip rings. "I didn't think so," he said. He lifted me up and I wrapped my legs around him, my back still against the wall. In a swift motion, he had pulled himself out of his baseball pants and was sliding into me. I tilted my head back. This was pure ecstacy, there's no other way to describe it. I whimpered the first second or two. He hadn't prepared me at all. It was rough, raw, unplanned...and I loved it. "Oh come on, Detta, you can be louder than that. Let them hear you," he whispered in my ear. "Fuck, Zack, just..." I mumbled. I needed something to bite down on. His shoulder would be good, but I wouldn't get away with that. "What was that?" he asked. I bit my lip and shook my head as he thrust into me.

He held tightly to me, never pulling out, and sat me on the edge of the dresser. "Come on, Detta, let them all know that the real party's up here," he said. I clutched tightly to his shoulders, biting my tongue. "Come on, Vendetta," he whispered, biting my earlobe again. "Fuck..." I said, this time louder than before. "You're getting better...I think you need to be louder, though," Zack said. He thrust into me harder. "Oh fuck...fuck...Zack..." I moaned, louder this time. "Yeah? What do you want, Detta? Tell me what you want," he said. Once again, this thrust harder than the last. I grabbed tighter to his shoulders. I'm surprised my nails didn't dig a hole into his jersey. "Fuck me," I said, my voice louder. The louder I got the harder he'd go, I knew that, and that's exactly what I wanted. It was making him think I didn't want it that was the trick. "Come on, Detta, I know you can be louder than that. Say my name again, Detta...this time, I want you to scream it so loud that the neighbors come to check on you," he said. I think by this time, sweat was rolling down my forehead and chest. "Then fuck me harder, Zack," I said. I'm pretty sure everyone downstairs heard that. "Your wish is my command, Mrs. Baker," he said, a sly smile on his face. He pulled me off the dresser, laid me on my back on the floor, and, much to my enjoyment, continued to make me scream in pleasure. I remember looking up at some point and seeing that the bedroom door was open. "Oh my God," I said, covering my face. He laughed and leaned down, kissing my lips. I put my hands on either side of his face, kissing him, biting his lip rings, tangling my fingers in his hair as he brought us to a simultaneous climax. He collapsed on top of me, our bodies shaking against one another, our bodies drenched in sweat. I couldn't stop giggling. He kissed my cheek, taking me into his arms. "I love you...so much," I said. "And I love you...you wanna go again?" he asked. I smacked his chest playfully. "No! We have guests, Zachary Baker," I told him. "So, we had guests the first time, too," he reminded me. I shook my head and laid a soft kiss on his lips. "I love you, but we need to at least make an appearance downstairs. After that, we can disappear again...I promise...because I wouldn't mind a recap of that myself," I said. "Instant replays are better than a recap later, but I guess I'll have to settle," he said.

I hit him playfully once again, laughing. "You are so silly," I said. He nodded and kissed my neck before pulling himself up off the floor. He readjusted all his clothes and helped me up. "We look like we just played a double header," he said. I shrugged and took his hand, leading him out of our open bedroom and down the stairs. As expected, everyone was staring as we walked down. "What?" I asked Daisy, Johnny's girlfriend. She laughed and took a sip of her beer. "Girl, we could hear ya'll all the way down here, even over the music..." she said. I smiled and shrugged, leaning into Zack. "What can I say, he's the best," I told her with a wink. "You're so bad!" she said, laughing. I nodded and smiled. Yeah, we were, but damn it, he was so fucking good at it. "You two are some damn freaks," Brian said from behind us. I turned around and stuck my tongue out at him. He, in return, stuck his out at me, between two fingers. "No thank you, Gates, I have my husband for that, and he does a damn good job of it, too," I replied. Brian rolled his eyes and walked away.

"He's just jealous," Zack whispered. "I know he is. He wants me...but I can't blame him," I told him. "You're a cocky little thing today, aren't you?" Zack replied, kissing my neck. "Maybe a little, but you know you love it," I told him. "I do..." he said. He draped an arm across my shoulders. I spotted Matt and Piper a few feet away, Piper staring at us, her arms folded across her chest, smiling. "Nothing has changed," she said. I smiled and blushed. "Shut up, Piper," I said. "Damn Detta, you can get loud..." Matt said. I blushed deeper and nodded. "Uh yeah...the door being open didn't really help that," I said. Piper giggled, covering her mouth. "I opened the door. We came to check on you," she told me. "Well, you left it open..." I replied.

"We were laughing too hard to close it," Matt told me. "Laughing? Why?" I asked. "They all thought you were being attacked," Piper said, laughing. "Well, I did kind of attack her. Grabbed her and threw her up against the wall," Zack said, smirking. I buried my face into his chest. "Nice!" Matt said. "Thanks, dude. She liked it..." Zack said, tickling my side. "I'll bet she did. I have never heard her scream like that...and I've heard her scream a lot," Piper said. "I bet I could make her scream even louder," Zack said. My eyes grew wide and I let go of him. "Oh my God," I whispered. "I'll bet you could," Piper said, lauging. "I wanna find out," he replied, turning to me. "You wanna go again?"

I shook my head and hid behind Piper, linking arms with her. "No, I wanna hang out with Piper," I said. Matt was saying something to Piper when I grabbed onto her. I didn't quite catch onto what it was, but it sounded like he was asking if he could make her scream. "Thank God for that," she said, looking back at me. "That better not be sarcastic. Save me!" I told her. "It's not. I don't want to answer Matt's question," she replied. "Good...let's go outside, get away from these pervy men..." I said. "Agreed. We need to talk. Pervy girl talk," she said. I grabbed her by the hand and led her through the crowd of people. I turned around. I knew he was right behind me. "Don't you dare follow me, Zachary James Baker!" I told him. He laughed and hung back. "Yeah!" Piper said to Matt.

"Oh my God Piper..." I said, sitting on one of the pool chairs. She doubled over laughing. "I didn't know you could get that loud," she told me. "Shit...neither did I! He made me do it, though. He was like telling me I needed to be louder...my throat hurts!" I told her. She sat back up, her face red from laughing. "Oh damn.." she said. "I know. Oh my God. I mean it was good, but damn...I'm sore," I replied. " I've been there. Not to the...screaming thing...I'm not real verbal...oh my God...if Matt tries that shit, I'm coming after you!" she threatened me. "Me? Go after Zack, he did it!" I told her. "No, because he's going to use you as the standard for me. You were always louder than me. I'm fucked..." she said.

"I'm sorry! But when you've got him like...I can't even tell you...God...and he wants to go again. I don't think I can..." I replied. My voice was cracking. "Then tell him that!" Piper told me. "I tried telling him no earlier!" I answered. She gave me a look. "I know you Detta. You did it playfully. And the way you were fucking enjoying that...you liked it, a lot..." she said. " I did like it, a lot, fuck, I loved it, but I really did tell him no!" I protested. "Maybe out loud. You've never said no to that man in your mind..." she replied. "Well, I guess I didn't exactly tell him 'no'...I said not right now..." I recalled.

"And he waited half a minute after you said that to start fucking your brains out. It wasn't right then..." she said. "No, there was...no, there was like...okay, it wasn't long...but I...I have no argument. God...that...I think that was the best it's ever been." I said. " It sure sounded like it. By the way, you'll probably have rug burn on your ass in the morning," she said. I shrugged. "I don't even care. He's worth it," I said. She laughed again. "I'm glad you think so," she replied. I smiled and felt myself blush. "I love him. He's worth anything and everything," I told her. "Again if you say so. Me and Matt don't have random sex like that. I dont know what you're talking about. With us it's always calculated..." she answered. "That's because you guys are fucking weird..." I said. "We're not weird were just...I'm just...I'm still nervous with him okay," she said.

"You two are weird. Cute as fuck, but weird...and me and Zack, we're just...I don't know what we are...I'm crazy about him, I know that," I replied. I wish I had that random sex thing. The kind where a guy wants you all the time everywhere. I got the...lets make love kind of guy. And don't get me wrong, I fucking love it...and him, but admittedly, we're not real interesting," Piper said. I nodded, biting my lip. "Can I tell you something?" I asked her. She shrugged. "Sure."

I took a deep breath and started drawing invisible shapes on the arm of the pool chair. "I love Zack...and I love our relationship...I love our kids, and I love my life with him...but there are sometimes I wish we were more like you and Matt," I admitted. "If we could trade for a day. I love being that cute couple, the one everyone envies. I love making love, and just holding hands. Matt looks at me like I'm an angel and I'm perfect, but some days, I wish he would look at me like Zack looks at you. Lustful and like you're the sexiest thing in the whole world," she said. I laughed and shook my head. "Matt does look at you like that, you just don't notice it. He loves you, Piper, he really does. So much. And it's not that I don't know that Zack loves me...I know he does, I don't doubt that. Why else would he of married me? Why else would have come chasing after me when I ran away? I just wish we wore more...I dunno, lovey dovey sometimes," I replied.

"And I wish me and Matt were more animalistic some days. Our men need lessons from each other," she said."Ha, yeah...but you know, if they were any different, they wouldn't be themselves," I answered, shrugging. "One time would still be nice," she looked around at Matt and Zack, who were standing by the door talking to Johnny and Brian, then back at me, smirking, "ya know..."

"Yeah...I know. I know...and I mean we have our moments. I mean he took me to Italy for God's sakes. That was so sweet...except for, you know, Nonna passing away, but it lacked romance...the thought was romantic, but the trip itself, not so much. Do you want me to talk to Matt for you?" I asked her. She shook her head, eyes wide. "Want me to talk to Zacky?" she replied. "You can if you want. Oh come on, Piper, let me talk to Matt. I'll just tell him to get a little frisky," I said with a smile and a wink. "Okay. Don't tell him I want him to. He'll ask questions. Maybe we shouldn't do this. I need a drink," she replied. "Piper, you're pregnant," I reminded her. " Doesn't mean I dont need the drink," she put her hand in my face, thumb out, just like my favorite female wrestler, Maryse. We used to do it to one another and other people all the time, it was one of our little jokes. I laughed. "Did you just Maryse me?"

"Yes. Don't get smart. I'm hormonal. Just be vague with him," she instructed. I stood up and readjusted my socks. "I got this...and you with Zack...he's a little blonde sometimes...I love him...but he's a little blonde...so...you may have to be kinda blunt," I said. "Blunt I got covered," Piper said, nodding. "Wait, what are you gonna tell him exactly?" I asked her. "Just some pointers," she replied, shrugging. "Okay...and I'll tell Matt that you guys should have random, spur of the moment, make her scream sex sometime...but not so bluntly, right?" I said. "Right. Just be vague with him. Don't get technical. Maybe this isnt such a good idea," she said, her voice hitching. So, she didn't want me to talk to Matt now?

"Um...well, will you still talk to Zack?" I asked, my expression falling. I still wanted her to tell him I wanted romance. Just because I wasn't gonna talk to Matt now didn't mean she wouldn't talk to Zack, right? She blinked at me. "Talk to Matt, I'll talk to Zack," she said. So she still wanted me to talk to him? "Now? Or later?" I asked. She shrugged. "Up to you," she said. I looked to the house where my husband was talking, the guys gaping at him. He was probably giving them every single detail about our sexcapade earlier. "I'll go tell Zack you wanna talk to him," I told her.

Zack POV-

I felt a hand in mine and turned around to see Detta. "Hey baby," I said, wrapping my arm around her and pulling her into the circle of me and the guys. "Piper wants to talk to you outside," she told me plainly, wiggling away from me. "Okay...is everything okay?" I asked. She nodded and took my drink from me. "Go talk to Piper," she said. "I'll be back," I said to the guys. I opened the back door and walked out to where Piper was sitting by the pool. "I was told by my wife that you wanted to talk to me?" I said. She looked up and nodded. "You're not romantic enough with Detta," she said. "Am I not?" I asked her, sitting down. "Pinning her to a wall and telling her to scream louder is not romantic, Zack," she replied. "Well, I know that...but we have romantic moments sometimes...like that one time when she came home from the gym and I'd cooked her dinner, remember that? And I took her to Italy for our honeymoon. I tell her I love her all the time..." I said, my voice trailing off. Piper shook her head. "That's not everything. Ever give her a random massage, nothing sexual involved? Wake her up with breakfast, came home with a rose, did the laundry cause you knew her feet were swollen, or just because? Think about the little things, Zee," she said. "When she was pregnant I did the laundry...once...I fucked it up so bad...but I guess I see what you mean..." I replied.

She patted my knee. "Good, If you need any ideas just come to me. Or Matt. Zack, you have a good heart, and I know you love her, but try to make sure she knows that you can be romantic," she said. I nodded and stood up. Detta had seemed a little upset when she came to get me. I worried that I'd hurt her in some way. "Did she say something to you? Did I upset her or something?" I asked Piper before I turned to walk away. "No, trust, she really enjoyed your little get together upstairs. Just trust me, I can read my best friend," she answered. "Okay. I'll figure something out...hopefully. I'll try..." I said. "Thank you, Zacky," she said, smiling up at me. "No problem...I wish I'd known this sooner..." I said, running a hand over my head. "She's not mad or anything, I promise. But, we like to be romanced, as much as much as we like knowing you crave us all the time. Fuck us against a wall, but make sure you help us with our rug burns too," she said. I couldn't help but laugh at that. "Okay...thanks, Piper..." I said.

Detta POV-

I was sitting in a chair in the kitchen, watching Piper and Zack talk. He was so damn beautiful. I loved how the setting sun shined down on him. I heard a bottle clank into the trash can and saw Matt walking out. " Hey Matteo...come here for a second," I called after him. He turned around, sipping at a glass of what I'm sure was Jack and Coke. "What's up Detta?" he asked, walking toward me. "Um...can I talk to you for a minute?" I asked. "Sure thing," he replied, pulling a chair out and sitting down. "Um...you know...earlier...how me and Zack were...how do I put this?" I said, searching for words. "Fucking. That's probably the best term," Matt said, sipping at his drink. "Yeah, that. Maybe you should do that to Piper sometime. You know, just randomly...unplanned..." I suggested. He sat his drink down. "What?" he asked, wide eyed. "Yeah, you know, just randomly...like unexpected, mind-blowing, insane, make her scream your name kinda sex...we women like that sometimes," I said, adverting my eyes. I'm sure I was blushing. Giving Matt sex tips was so weird. He laughed nervously, stirring his drink with his finger. "I uh...I dont know if I can do that to Piper," he replied.

"Trust me, Matt...just do it, okay? She'll appreciate it," I told him. "I seriously dont think I can. I'll hurt her," he said. "I mean you don't have to be rough with her...just encourage her to vocalize herself," I answered. He looked at me, his expression changing. "Detta...in case you didnt know. I'm not good in bed, she does that, I'm really going to be useless. I mean, I encourage her, but I'm not real experienced in the whole...rough...sex stuff thing," he said. "Like I said, you don't have to be rough...trust me...even when Zack's not rough, he likes to hear me tell him I like what he's doing to me. Just talk to her. Ask her if she likes it. Tell her to be louder when she says your name or whatever," I suggested.

"Detta...I'm doing good If I can talk when we're having sex. I just dont know how to do what you're telling me to," he replied. He was so damn stubborn sometimes. "You just gotta be more confident, Matt...I mean, seriously...you remember that day on the bus when I wanted to see your...you know...and you were all cocky about it? You just dropped your pants in front of me, no problem. You can do it, Matt, just don't be scared...she'll like it, I promise," I assured. "I'm perfectly confident with anyone and everyone that isn't her. I don't care if you want to see my dick, it's her that scares me. I'm just waiting for that disgusted look. If I do do the whole...verbal...random sex business, how am I supposed to know what's part of it and what's actually her telling me no?"

I sighed and took a drink of the concotion I'd taken from Zack. "There is no way in hell you could disgust her, Matt. She thinks you're the most amazing person in the whole entire world...just trust me. Try it out. It could be interesting. You asked her earlier why she doesn't scream like I did for Zack...make her do it," I told him plainly. "I don't know how. I can ask her all day. Doesn't mean I know how to make her do it," he said. God, why was he so difficult? "So you're telling me you've never shit talked a girl in bed? Ever?" I asked. "Nope. Detta...I can count the women I've slept with on two hands still," he reminded me.

"You, me, and Piper are probably the only ones who can count the people we've been with on one to two hands still, but that doesn't mean anything. Including Zacky's biological father, I've been with three people...do you think I knew what to do at first? Just be a little cocky in bed with her, Matt. She loves cockiness in a man. Maybe this would be easier coming from a guy...Zack could help you...if you decide you wanna do it, just give him a call," I told him. "I don't feel cocky with her Detta. I feel like...I'm going to fuck up, and I can't fuck this up. And I really don't see myself asking Zack for pointers. Besides, he would have think about Piper that way, and he can't so I doubt he'd be much help. I just honestly...don't know how to do it. Are there directions somewhere?" he asked.

I smiled and shook my head. " No, I don't think so...but I promise, you're not gonna fuck anything up. She loves you more than life itself. She's pregnant with you guys' second child...I don't think there's anything you can do to fuck it up. I think she just wants to know what it's like to be looked at the way Zack looks at me sometimes...like you just want to throw her down right then and there and fuck her...all...how was it she put it...lustful? Look, I'm just saying, you're so sweet, and all lovey dovey...you guys are like the perfect, ideal couple...she just wants a little spice, just once," I said.

"Did Piper tell you to talk to me?" he asked, raising an eyebrow. I shrugged and drank down the rest of Zack's drink. "I just know her. I saw the look on her face when you asked her why she doesn't scream for you...and we were talking about Zack and I, and how I wish that he looked at me the way you look at Piper...and she may or may not have said she wished you'd be all lusty toward her just once...don't tell her I told you that, though...I wasn't supposed to..." I said. Matt looked outside where Piper was now sitting alone, staring at the setting sun, rubbing her barely-there baby bump. "I live to please that woman, and she may or may not want me to just fuck her, but I may or may not know what the hell I'm doing. I'll try, but I have a bad feeling I'm going to need help," he said. I smiled. Finally, success! "Well, you have two freaky, lusty friends who will be more than glad to help...because if she talked to my husband...which I'm sure she did...then he'll be calling you for pointers himself. You'll do fine, Matt, just...I dunno, laugh evilly when you're fucking her...she'll love that," I said. He laughed at me and shook his head. "I do that anyway," he replied.

"Well, see, you're off to a good start. Seriously, it's not as difficult as it sounds. I was once shy and innocent in bed, believe it or not. I was so quiet...Chris broke me of that. And Zack...he...I don't even know...he takes me to levels I've never been to. Just, whenever she starts making even the littlest noise, tell her to be louder. Tell her to tell you what she wants, how she wants it, stuff like that. You need me, you let me know...okay?" I said. Both of us stood up, Matt stretching. "Detta, I love you but...I'll ask Zack for pointers before I will you," he said, smiling. I looked up at him and smiled. "That's probably best. I really suck at directions...and I love you too, Matteo," I said, hugging him around his waist.

"Matt, you're all up on my woman...what the fuck, bro?" Zack said. He was joking, clearly, but I felt like being a sarcastic bitch in return. Piper was glaring at him. "That was far from romantic," she told him. God, I loved my best friend. "For your information, Zachary James Baker, I was just giving my best guy friend a hug. So," I said, sticking my tongue out at him as a finisher to the statement. "Don't offer," he replied. "You wish I would," I said, letting go of Matt. "Still not romantic," Piper chimed in. Once again, let me reiterate that I loved my best friend. Zack looked back at Piper, then at Matt. "Can I talk to you?" he asked. I covered my mouth, trying not to giggle out loud. "Our boys..." Piper said, shaking her head. "Gotta love em," I replied.

Zack POV-

Matt and I walked off and into the studio, shutting the door behind us. "Dude give me a crash course on romantics...Detta wants romance. I don't know how to be romantic," I said, sitting down. "I'll give you one in romance if you can give me one in dirty sex," he replied. Fair enough. I could do that. "Oh I got this. What do you want to know?" I asked. "Uh...Anything...I don't know what the fuck to do at all," he replied, chugging the rest of his beer. "Okay, well, first off, just catch her off guard...just like...come up behind her when she's cleaning or something. Grab her and just start making out with her...the other night, I grabbed Detta when she was cooking, set her on the counter and started kissing on her, and the next thing I know, we're on the kitchen floor, smoke detector going off," I told him. He nodded. "Okay so cleaning or something...what if she's not in the mood?" he asked. He really was clueless. "Put her in the mood...touch her, kiss her neck, bite her...but not hard, unless she likes it when you bite her hard..." I said. "I don't know if she does or not. I've never bitten her. Do women generally like being bitten?" he asked.

"Detta does. I bite on her neck or her ears, it's on. Bite her collarbone. I mean it's not even hard. It's just like you nip her with your teeth...tell her how fucking hot she is. Not beautiful, fucking hot...smokin', sexy, stuff like that," I replied. "Okay so...don't say beautiful or gorgeous. Got it. Where is the best place to do it?" he asked. "Wherever the fuck you want...like...we've done it in the office, in the kitchen, the living room, the other day, I had her on the piano. She liked that one a lot...the bathroom, the bedroom, the pool...whatever," I suggested. "The kitchen floor or table...the couch, I don't know...just wherever. It could even be in the bedroom...like at night, after you put Rev to bed, she's changing into her pajamas, perfect opportunity dude. Come up on her unexpectedly, drop a line like 'Have I told you today that you're fucking sexy?'," I said. "I'm going to fuck this up," he replied. "Nah man, you can handle it...she'll probably say something like "No you haven't" or "Is that so?" and then you can be like "Well let me tell you right now, you're fucking sexy" or "Yeah it is...", and then you can be like let me show you how sexy you are...and just lay her on the bed and start kissing her and shit, or you could just pin her against the wall like I did to Detta earlier."

"Height difference," he said. "Detta's shorter than me...just...did you never fuck Val up against the wall or anything, dude?" I asked him. "If I had to fuck Val I preferred it from behind. So no, I never fucked her against the wall," he replied. Okay, that was a no. "Just lift her up, get her legs around you, you can even pin her hands somehow..." I suggested. He shook his head. "Piper hates being held down," he replied. "Maybe you should just start off slow, like shit talking her, then," I answered. He looked up at me, almost confused. "What?"

"Yeah dude, it's not as hard as it sounds. Like...I don't mean to get too personal, but Piper seems like the quiet type," I replied. Matt shrugged, turning in the chair he was sitting in. "She is," he told me. "I know at first it may be awkard, but just ask her questions. Does she say anything at all? Ever?" I asked him. "My name...and sometimes she tells me when she's coming," he answered. "Tell her to be louder. Tell her you can't hear her. Ask her questions. Ask her if she likes it...um...ask her if she wants it harder, shit like that," I told him. It was a lot harder to explain than it was to do. "Yeah you all neglect how little of sanity I have when I'm around her. I can't talk during it either," Matt said, laughing. "Well you asked..." I replied. "I know...and you're helping. Okay, just keep talking. Maybe I should be drunk before I try this," he said.

"That might actually work. You'll have no inhibitions," I replied. "I've never fucked Piper drunk. I've never fucked Piper, not literally fucked...we've just...made love..." Matt said, rubbing his head. "I promise dude, it's not as hard as it sounds. It took me a few times to let loose with Detta. I was real careful with her at first. I didn't wanna hurt her. Then Piper told me about the preacher voice thing, and I used it on her, and we kinda got a little wild that night...ever since, it's been crazy shit, I tell you," I replied, taking a drink of my beer.

"I know what does it for Piper, but I mean...she's...when I say it she just kinda stops and stares," he said. "Yeah...was this your idea or hers?" I asked. "Hers...damn her," he replied, taking a sip of his own drink. "Yeah...I think Detta put Piper up to talking to me about this whole romance thing...I feel you though, I'm as lost as you are," I told him. "Nah man, romance is easy," Matt said. "Easy for you to say," I replied, picking up a picture of Detta and I from tour. I'd do anything in the world for that woman. If she wanted romance, then God damn it, I was gonna give her romance...somehow.

"No seriously. Find some little thing that she likes, or some little thing wrong with her and exploit the hell out of it," Matt told me. Find something wrong with Detta? Yeah, right. "Like what? And finding something wrong with her, I don't think I can, dude...she's perfect to me," I said. "That right there is a good start. Find something she doesnt like, use that. When Piper was feeling down on her weight, I put her on top. She says I'm hungry, cook for her. When you're standing with her, even if you're alone, just hold her hand. It's the little things like that that they like, bro," he said. I couldn't help but laugh. "Something Detta doesn't like about herself? Are you kidding me? She's fucking cocky. The holding hands thing I can do, but finding something Detta doesn't like about herself will be difficult," I replied, still laughing. "It's there in every girl. Have you met Piper? The only thing I cant affirm for her is sex, mostly cause I'm just as nervous as she is. But weight problems, stretch marks, scars, anything. Hell, memories. Make them know that no matter what happened in the past, they're all thats in your future," Matt said.

I nodded. I still had no idea what to do. "I wish I'd fucking known this shit months ago...she got real down about her body after she had Plague...I don't know, maybe I'll buy her some flowers or some shit like that. I've never had a chick that was into romance," I replied. "Sorry dude. I never thought I was the romantic type until I met Piper. You ever need pointers, I guess I'm the one to go to," he said, shrugging. "Gena was into money. She like gifts and things...so I bought her shit. Detta...she's into...me...before she got pregnant and we'd chill on her bus, she'd have me just play guitar for her...I could do that I guess," I said. I hadn't done that for her in ages. I kind of missed it myself. "Fuck yeah. That's great. That's romantic," he said encouragingly. "You think so?" I asked. "Hell yeah, chicks love that kind of stuff," he said. "I haven't done that for her in a while...since she was pregnant...that's been...fuck...Plague's almost five months old now," I said, running a hand through my hair. "Yeah, do that. She'll like that," he replied. "If this fails, I'll call you for more pointers. Thanks for your help, bro," I said. Matt nodded and finished off his beer. "Likewise."

"I guess we better get back to our ladies...they're probably wondering where the fuck we are and what's taking so long," I said, standing up. "Laughing at us, and our insecurities," Matt added. I laughed and opened the door to find Detta and Piper walking away quickly. "Didn't hear anything!" Detta called, grabbing Piper by the hand and breaking into a run. "Uh huh...that's because we were in the _studio,_ Detta...sound proof walls and door," I said.

The party continued on late into the night and I racked my brain trying to figure out something nice to do for my wife. I held her hand for no reason, which she seemed to like, but that just wasn't enough. We both fell asleep on the couch after everyone had left, the house still a mess from the party, Detta laying on top of me, still dressed in our costumes. "Zack...Detta..." my mom's voice came from the foyer too early the next morning. "Fuck," I grumbled. Detta nuzzled her face into my chest. "I don't wanna..." she said. "Neither do I but we gotta get this place cleaned up and ready for trick or treaters tonight, and the boys too," I told her. "Fuck the trick or treaters," she mumbled. "Morning you two," Mom said, standing at the end of the couch. "Morning, Ma," I replied. "Good Lord, Zachary...this place is a mess," she said, picking up beer bottles. "I know, we fell asleep before we could clean it up," I replied. Detta rolled off of me and stood up, rubbing her eyes. "You look so cute when you first wake up, " I said, pulling her by the hand to me. "Ew, no I don't," she replied. "Yeah you do," I said, standing up and kissing her forehead. "Mommy! Daddy! Is it time to go trick or treating yet?" Zacky asked, running into the room. "Not yet. Mommy and I have to clean this place up, and then we'll help you get into your costume, get Plague ready, and we'll take you trick or treating, then come home and hand out candy to other trick or treaters," I said, kneeling down to his level. Detta came in, carrying Plague in her arms. "Say look at me, Daddy, don't I look cute?" she said. He was already in his costume. "I just couldn't wait to put it on him," she said. "Zack, where are your garbage bags? I'll help you guys clean up this mess!" Mom called from the kitchen. "Under the sink...come here, Hellraiser," I said, standing up and taking Plague from Detta. He looked so cute, dressed as a little Zack o' lantern.

"Can I put my costume on now, too?" Zacky asked, pulling on my shirt tail. "Of course you can, Monkey, come on, I'll help you," Detta answered for me. I cradled Plague in one arm and helped my mom throw bottles and plates in the trash as Detta disappeared up the stairs with our oldest son to get him dressed. I still had no idea what he had decided to be, he wouldn't tell me and he'd sworn Detta to secrecy. Nothing I did or said would convince her otherwise, either.

Detta POV-

"Can you cut my hair like Daddy's was in the video, too?" Zacky asked me as I brushed red eyeshadow on his eyelids. "I can...do you want me to?" I asked. "Will you dye the sides purple?" he replied. "I sure will...let me see if I have any bleach and dye...I should, hang tight," I said, laying my makeup brush down and digging in the cabinet. There was one bleach kit and a jar of purple dye. "It's your lucky day, Zacky," I said, pulling them out of the cabinet. "Yay!" he said, jumping up and down. "Be still...I'm gonna have to do your makeup again after we do your hair, it's gonna get washed off," I told him. "Okay," he replied. I pulled Zack's clippers off the counter and turned them on. "Your hair has gotten so long," I said, running my fingers through it before buzzing off the sides. It was actually the perfect length to cut into the style he wanted. "Like Daddy's? His has gotten long, too," he replied. I smiled and brushed the cut off hair into the floor. "It has, yep," I said, trimming the back.

Fifteen minutes later, his hair was cut as close to the way Zack had his in the Beast and the Harlot video as possible. "Now for the dye?" he asked me, staring into the mirror. "Now for the dye," I said, mixing the bleach. "I'm not so sure about that, Mommy," he said. "You don't wanna dye it?" I asked. "Daddy won't get mad, will he?" he replied. "No, he won't get mad, baby, I promise. Be still now," I said, brushing the bleach onto the buzzed sides of his hair.

An hour later, his hair was completely done, his makeup done, and we were just waiting to put on his suit. "Daddy is gonna love this, all I need is those things for my teeth like he has, and I would be his twin," Zacky said to me. I laughed and kissed his forehead. "Yeah, you would, wouldn't you? Let's go get your suit on," I said, taking him by the hand and leading him into his room. I helped him change into his suit and headed down the stairs while he 'drew up a contract for the harlots'. Zack was holding a sleeping Plague in his arms, his mom seated next to him. "Where's Zacky?" Zack asked quietly as I sat down on the arm of the couch. "He's coming," I replied, smiling. "Why do you have purple dye on your fingers? Oh God, Detta, you dyed his hair?" he asked me. "Shh, he looks adorable...don't you say anything to him about his hair. He wanted it that way, and it'll come out," I told him.

A few seconds later, Little Zacky walked down the stairs and into the living room, holding his 'contract'. "How do I look?" he asked.

Zacky POV-

Zacky looked so much like me that it was mindblowing. No one would ever believe he wasn't really my son. My mom took pictures of him and Plague to take home and show my dad before she left. Detta and I finished cleaning the house up while Plague finished up his nap, and Little Zacky played to pass the time. "I need a shower...but Zacky wants me to wear my costume when we take him trick or treating," Detta said, sitting down next to me on the couch. "So go take a shower...I can wash and dry our costumes before it's time to take him," I said, playing with her hair. She looked over at me and smiled. "Baby, I love you, but the last time you did laundry, everything changed colors and our laundry room flooded," she replied. "I'm sure it can't be too hard to wash four pieces of clothing," I said, kissing her cheek. "One cap of detergent, not four, okay?" she replied, laughing. "One cap, for the whole load, not for each item of clothing, yeah, yeah," I said. She laughed loudly and threw her legs over my lap, turning my face to hers. "I love you, Zachary Baker," she said. "And I love you, Vendetta Baker," I replied. I kissed her lips softly, then her neck, causing her to squirm. "Nooooooo," she said, standing up, giggling. "I just wanted to give you a kiss," I said, pulling her by the hand to me. "I have to go get a shower," she said, pulling away. "You need some help?" I offered. "No! I need you to wash our clothes so we can take our boys trick or treating later, silly," she said, unbuttoning my jersey. "So you're undressing me?" I asked. "Helping motivate you to go put these nasty clothes in the wash...I'll send Little Zee down with mine...cause y'know, Plague's asleep on the couch right there, and I'd hate for you to leave him layin' there...we have marble floors," she said, turning to walk away. She was such a damn tease, but I loved it. How was I supposed to wash clothes with Plague asleep on the couch anyway? I removed my jersey and threw it over my shoulder, picked up my sleeping son, and laid him in his portable crib that we kept in the living room. "Shhh," I said, rubbing his back as he stirred. "Mommy said to give you these, and these," Little Zacky said as I turned around. He was holding clean clothes for me, and his mom's dirty ones. "Thanks buddy," I said, taking them from him. "Welcome...is it time to go yet?" he asked. I smiled and shook my head. "Not quite," I replied.

Detta POV-

After trick or treating, the boys were both worn out. I bathed them and fed them dinner while Zack handed out candy and stickers to trick or treaters who came to our door, including Johnny and Brian. It started clouding up as the sun began to set, the temperature outside dropping even more than it already had. Fall had definitely arrived in So-Cal. "Plague's knocked out and Little Zacky's laying down waiting on you to come tuck him in," I told Zack as I walked downstairs. "Well all the candy's gone and I don't feel like going downstairs looking for more stickers to hand out...I'm exhausted. I'll go tuck in LZ...then you and I can relax," he said, kissing my cheek. "And I'm gonna go up into the attic and look for my scrapbook...it's not in the spare room with the others," I replied. He nodded and took me by the hand as we walked up the stairs together. "I'll see you back downstairs," I said, leaving him at our oldest son's door.

I flipped on the light to the attic and made my way up the stairs. The door shut behind me, startling me. "Stupid door," I mumbled, running up the stairs. I flipped on the lightswitch for the main part of the attic and crossed the windowless room to look for a specific box of my things. I still hadn't found the book when the lights flickered for the first time. I hated being alone in the dark. I rummaged through the boxes for a few more seconds until the power flickered again. "Fuck it," I said aloud, turning to walk away. A loud crack sounded from the sky and the power completely went out, causing me to scream. I was frozen where I was, unable to run, not like I could see anything anyway. I couldn't even see my hands. Tears started forming in my eyes as I felt my way to the wall and sat down against it, pulling my knees up to my chest. "Oh my God, I'm gonna fucking die. I'm gonna fucking die. I don't even believe in God...Jimmy save me..." I mumbled, my body and voice shaking. A loud creak came from somewhere in the attic. I choked back a scream and buried my face in my hands, still shaking and crying. I was fucking done for. "Detta...Detta baby, say something. I can't find you in the dark if you sit there fucking quiet," a voice came from across the room. I looked up and saw a small light, which cast a shadow on the wall. "Z-Z-Zack?" I said, my voice trembling. "Yeah. Where the fuck are you? Keep talking to me," he said soothingly. More tears streamed down my face. "I don't fucking know where I am. It's dark. I don't like the dark," I told him.

"I know. The power went out, and I know how scared you are of being alone in the dark," he replied. The light grew closer and so did his voice. "Why did the power go out? Is it storming that bad? Christopher, I'm gonna fucking kick your ass!" I said, looking to the sky again as a rumble of thunder shook the house. "Piper's brother sure knows how to make an entrance," Zack said, laughing. "God, please just hurry and find me. I don't like the dark. I would've been fine had I brought my phone or a fucking flashlight, but no, I come up here all by my damn self and the electricity goes out," I whined. "About your luck, baby," he replied. "No fucking kidding. Do you have a flashlight or something? Your phone? A lighter...do I have a lighter? I don't smoke anymore, why would I have a lighter?" I rambled. The light shined onto me and I looked up to see my husband leaning against the wall, smiling down at me. "Flashlight," he said. I looked up at the sky. "Thank you, Jimmy, please kick Chris' ass for me," I said, then looked back over at Zack, still sniffling, "Zacky..."

I hadn't called him Zacky in a while, since way before Plague was born. "Zacky?" he said, holding a hand out. "My Zacky," I said, wrapping my arms around him. "You're okay babe. I got you," he whispered in my ear, stroking my hair. I sighed heavily, my body shivering against his. "Just don't ever let me go...okay? At least not until the electricity comes back on. Did you call someone about that? Are the boys okay?" I said. He kissed my forehead and took my hand into his. "The boys are fine. I called the electric company, they're busy, but the power will be back on soon. We've got candles. Everything's gonna be fine, Detta," he said. "Okay...good...just dont' let me go. I hate the dark, I'm afraid of being alone in the dark," I whispered. "Detta, you have no reason to be afraid. I'm here," he assured me. I squeezed him tightly as the thunder rumbled again.

Detta POV-Two Months Later-

The phone vibrated the table next to the bed, waking me. I looked up at the clock. Seven AM...really? Who the fuck was calling at seven in the fucking morning? We still had three hours until we all had to be awake, packed, and ready to head out. Today was the day I'd been dreading...today was the day the guys left for tour...the first tour since we'd gotten back and I'd become a mother again...the first tour since Zack and I got married. "Hello?" I answered it groggily. "Yeah, you better answer the phone!" Piper said. Her voice was chipper...too chipper. I groaned and laid back down, the phone still pressed to my ear. "Okay, get your ass out of bed, drag big and little Zacky and Plague with you and get over here. Oh and grab a credit card, and your walking shoes. We're going shopping. I have something in specific I'm looking for." Piper instructed. I rolled out of bed, holding the phone at my side and shook Zack awake. "Baby...wake up..." I said. "Fucking hell...why the fuck do I have to get up? I want to fucking sleep...what time is it? SHIT...Detta...why? Fucking...no...sleep...more sleep..." Zack said. I pulled the phone up to my ear. "Are you happy now?" I mumbled. Piper laughed. "Love on him a little bit, he'll be okay. Just don't go back to sleep! Hurry and get over here, I need you!" I grumbled a reply and hung up the phone, laying on top of my husband. "Baby...we gotta go over there...she said she needs me...besides, I heard Zacky up already, and Plague's been baby talking for an hour...I got up and changed him and came back to bed..." I said, brushing hair out of his eyes. "Why can't she need you in a few hours?" he murmered, wrapping his arms around me. "I don't know...just get up and get dressed, I guess...I'll get the boys ready..." I replied, pushing up off of him. He wouldn't let go of me. "Zack..." I said. "Where's my good morning kiss? Last one for a month and a half, you know?"

I forced a smile and kissed his lips. He tickled my sides, making me giggle. I was going to miss waking up next to him. I nipped his lip and rolled off of him, got on my feet and went to get the boys ready to go to Piper's. "Hey, Monkey, we're going to Aunt Piper and Uncle Matt's house, okay? Get dressed and get you some things to play with if you want..." I told him. "Okay...hey, Mommy..." he called as I turned to walk away. "Yeah, Monkey?" I replied. "I love you." he said, smiling. I smiled and turned back around, motioning for him to come to me. I wrapped my arms around him and kissed the top of his head. "I love you too, Zachary...I love you very much. Now, get dressed, okay? Then, you can go jump on Daddy one last time before he has to leave tonight."

I dressed Plague and packed a diaper bag to last until late into the night, setting it in the hallway with his bouncy seat, and handed him off to Zack, who was playing with Little Zacky on the bed, both of them dressed and ready to go. "I'm gonna get dressed and we'll go..." I told him. "Take your time." he replied. I heard Plague cackle as I shut the bathroom door. I smiled, but I wanted to cry. I could make him laugh, too, but there was nothing like the way his dad made him laugh. I dressed hurriedly and threw my makeup bag in my purse, brushed my hair back into a ponytail and slipped on a pair of shoes that I could wear shopping.

"Ready?" I asked, putting my glasses on. The boys nodded and we loaded the car with Zack's bags for the road, Plague's things, and a few of Zack's toys. Zack went back inside to love on Icky and Majesty for a second before we left. He'd miss them, I knew, nearly as much as he'd miss us. The drive to Piper and Matt's was nearly silent. I didn't know what to say, or how to say it. I'll miss you had been uttered a billion times, and nothing else seemed fitting. It was now eight AM, the sun shining brightly over the ocean, the waves crashing lightly on the shore.

"You going to tell me why we all had to get out of bed at the crack of dawn?" I asked Piper as Zack and I walked in the door, hand in hand. I had my infant son on one hip, my oldest in front of me, dragging Plague's bouncy seat and diaper bag, along with his small bag of toys. Matt laughed and glanced at Piper. "She'll tell you while you're out, and I'll tell Zack while you ladies are gone." Matt replied. I nodded, kissed Plague and handed him off to my husband, then knelt down to kiss my oldest son. "Yeah, my job to tell you, and for now, you get nothing. Let's move out!" Piper said. We turned and headed for the door, Rev still in Piper's arms. "You bringing him?" I asked her. "Oh...oops...no...just us...hang on." Piper replied, turning around. She took Rev back inside and I could hear the guys laughing. She returned, blushing and smiling, to the car. "Will you drive?" she asked, dangling the keys. I rolled my eyes and took them from her, getting behind the wheel of her car.

"I wish I had known you were gonna be this fucking chipper the whole time...I would've just stayed in bed and let you be mad at me for the day." I said as we turned into the mall. Piper didn't say much, she just kinda looked at me. I shouldn't be so snappy with her, I thought to myself. She was seven months pregnant, and I knew how it was to have people snapping at you when you were that big, that hormonal...and she was happy, I should let her be happy. She was my best friend.

"Are you pregnant again, because you sure are moody..." Piper asked, walking over to a rack of dresses. "No, shut up. " I snapped. Okay, Detta, calm down, I told myself. "What are we looking for?" I asked, trying to sound less annoyed. Piper laughed and held up a dress before putting it back. "Well, Matt and I decided it would be fun to get married." she replied. I gaped at her. Was she serious? My mood immediately changed. "You're playing?" I asked, a smile on my face. Piper smiled hugely and shook her head, rubbing her stomach. "Nope. You might want to get something too, Mrs. Maid of Honor." she replied. I squealed and hugged her. "I am so excited for you...and I'm sorry I've been a bitch to you today...oh my God, Piper..." I said, grabbing her hand and heading for another rack of dresses.

Matt and Piper's wedding was small, but beautiful, and really well put together for something that had only been thought of hours prior. The guys and Piper all boarded the batmobile and headed for the arena, leaving me to change and get my kids ready to go to the show to spend a little time with everyone before they had to go.

I stopped by the drug store on the way to the venue where the boys were playing and bought a pregnancy test. The more I thought about it, the more I was convinced Piper was probably right. It wasn't like Zack and I ever used any form of birth control. It was entirely possible that I was pregnant again. If I was, that would mean Plague and the baby would be just over a year apart. I hauled the boys in the store with me, hoping little Zacky wouldn't notice what I was buying. He was smart, and he wasn't good at keeping secrets. Luckily he didn't and we got back into the car, heading for the LBC arena. I had some nagging feeling, something wasn't right. I shook it off and pulled up to the gate where the guys had parked the bus, showing the guard my pass and pulling into a free space. I pulled Plague from his carseat and took Zacky by the hand, leading them to the batmobile. Zacky was waiting outside, a smile on his face, beer in hand. "Getting an early start tonight, baby?" I asked, kissing him. "Yeah. It's my first one though. Promise." he replied, offering me the bottle. I shook my head. "Not tonight. Can you go get Plague's bouncy seat out of my car, please?" I asked. "Yeah. Zacky, you wanna come with me?" he asked, ruffling our oldest son's hair. "Sure." he replied, taking his dad's hand. I smiled and made my way up the steps to what would be my husband's home for the next few weeks.

Zacky brought back the bouncy seat and sat it on the table, taking Plague from me and holding him on his lap. "I'll be right back." I said, taking my purse into the bathroom and shutting the door. I didn't feel pregnant at all. The only thing that was a tell-tale sign was my moodiness. I hadn't been sick, I hadn't had any cravings and I hadn't...I pulled my Blackberry from my purse and pulled up the calendar. My period was late. How had I not noticed? I threw it back into my purse and pulled the pregnancy test out with shaking hands. I knew Zack wouldn't mind. We had discussed having another baby later on down the road. With Zacky in school now, it would be easier, but we wanted to wait at least another two years. I peed on the stick and re-capped it, laying it on the sink before sitting on the counter to wait. I wanted to cry. I decided that if the test was positive, I was going to wait and tell everyone later. I didn't want to take away from Piper and Matt's day in any way at all. They were both so happy, and they deserved it. I heard Little Rev and Plague screech happily at once, their usual infant-language greeting for one another and couldn't help but smile to myself.

I looked down at the test and closed my eyes, blinking back tears. Pregnant. "What am I gonna do?" I whispered to myself. A loud knock at the door jarred me from my thoughts. "I'll be out in just a minute." I said, stuffing the test and packaging back into my purse. I opened the door and saw Piper standing there, bouncing on her toes. "Hurry up, pregnant lady's gotta pee." she said, ushering me out. I smiled and stepped out of her way, threw my purse on the couch and flopped down, my mind racing. Maybe I should go to the doctor and find out for sure before I tell Zacky, I thought. No, no more secrets, we had promised one another that when we got married. I was still going to wait until later to tell him, though, at least later that night, after we were in bed...together...for one last time before he was gone for a few weeks. It would be the first time we'd spent any time apart for more than a couple days at a time since I left him when I found out I was pregnant with Plague. I smiled at the thought of my boys, who were both sitting on the floor playing with their dad. My life was truly amazing. I had the best friends, an amazing husband, and two wonderful kids...and one on the way. I sighed heavily, rubbing my eyes, trying to shake the stress and worry that seemed to be weighing heavily on my shoulders. "Tired?" Brian asked, poking my knee. I smiled up at him. "Little bit. I've been up since the crack of dawn."

He sat down beside me, twisting the top off of a bottle of water and taking a sip. "Yeah, well, you've got a baby...kinda to be expected isn't it?" he asked. "He's actually really good about sleeping through the night these days...Piper woke me up." I said. "Ah...gotcha. Zack's a good dad." he told me, pointing at his best friend. I smiled over at him. "He is...such an amazing father...the boys love him so much." I replied. "And he loves them...and you." Brian said. "Yeah?" I replied. He nodded, staring at Zacky and the boys. "He loves you more than anything in this world. I've never seen him so happy. You're good for him. He went through a lot of shit back in the day and he got his heart broken...and after Jimmy died we were all a wreck. I've never seen Zack so alive...he's one of my best friends, Detta...he's my brother...and I know me and you aren't really close but I just wanted to tell you I appreciate you and everything you've done for Zack."

I had never had Synyster Gates be so sincere with me. That was the man Piper knew, the man the rest of the band knew, who I had only caught glimpses of...that was the real Brian talking. I smiled and looked back to my husband and our children as they played on the floor, my godson and best guy friend there with them. Piper sat down between us, watching as our men played with our boys. "We are so blessed." she said. "We really are..." I replied, nodding.

Zacky POV-

Something just didn't feel right about that night. I hated to be leaving my wife and our boys, but that wasn't it. I had come to accept the fact that I was leaving them for a while weeks prior. Something else was wrong, I just couldn't put my finger on it. I shook the feeling as best I could, slipping my shoes on before heading back out into the main part of the bus where my wife and sons were sitting, taking to Piper. I had a sudden urge to kiss Detta and tell her I loved her, just so she knew. I walked over to her, stopping her in the middle of a sentence, and turned her to face me. "What was that for?" she asked after I kissed her. "I love you. I just had this feeling like I needed to let you know that I love you..." I replied, letting her go. She smiled, kissing me gently once before turning back to Piper. "What about me?" Piper asked, poking her lip out. I smiled at her and hugged her, kissing her cheek. "I love you too, Piper."

I felt a little less burdened as I stepped out onto the stage that night, but I still knew something wasn't right. I kept looking to my right, looking for Detta, but since Plague was so young, we thought it was too soon for him to be that close to the stage. I would miss her being there every night with this tour. She was always there for me. It was going to be really strange being on the road without her. I turned my focus back to playing, trying to keep my mind off the sentimental things I'd miss about being home. I'd never had more reason to dread climbing aboard the batmobile to head across the country.

Detta POV-

I hated that I was missing the show, but someone had to look after Rev and Plague. They were still a bit too young to be that close to all the loud music and pyro, though they had heard plenty of it while Piper and I were pregnant. The babies were asleep, Zacky nearly out himself, while I laid on the couch, thinking of ways to tell Zacky I was pregnant. I didn't want to just blurt it out. The last time I'd told him after he saved my life, and serenaded me in his living room. This time had to be good, and I only had a few hours to figure it out. In just six more hours, he'd be walking me to the car, telling me and our boys goodbye, and we wouldn't see him for six weeks. By the time he got back, I'd be almost through with my first trimester, meaning I'd be showing. I figured I was at least four to six weeks pregnant. Pregnant...with my third child. I never imagined in a million years there would be any more after Zacky...after Chris died...I rubbed my eyes, yawning. "God, what do I do?" I asked aloud. I knew I had to tell him, I just didn't know how. I laid my hands on my stomach. "You are giving me trouble already and I just found out you're coming." I said. I decided to just tell him. I didn't see any other way.

I don't remember falling asleep, I just remember waking up to the sound of the guys climbing back onto the bus. "Hey babe." Zacky said, kissing my forehead. "Hey...how was the show?" I asked, sitting up. "Good. Where are the boys?" he asked. I pointed to the back of the bus. Both Rev and Plague were asleep in the portable crib in the back room, Zacky asleep in his dad's bunk. "How long have they been out?" he asked, sitting next to me, taking my hand in his. "What time is it?" I replied, leaning my head on his shoulder. That brooding feeling that something bad was going to happen had returned, gnawing at my stomach, nauseating me. "Nine something." he replied. "Only an hour or so. Not long." I yawned. He nodded, rubbing my arm. We had approximately an hour and a half left together before they had to leave. I didn't want that hour and a half to come and go. "I'm gonna miss you." I whispered, my eyes misting over. "I'm gonna miss you, too...but I'll call you every day, and I'll get online and we can chat on webcam...I've got my laptop..."

Zacky POV-

The things I said trying to make Detta feel better really only made me feel worse. Knowing that the only contact I would have with her for at least a month and a half would be the phone and internet drove me crazy. "I know, it's just not gonna be the same. I hate the thought of lying in our bed, alone...getting Zacky up in the morning alone...taking care of Plague all day, alone...cooking dinner, cleaning up, doing everything alone..." she said. "Well when you put it that way, it sounds much more depressing." I replied, trying to make her laugh. It didn't work. "You have no idea..." she mumbled. "What do you mean?" I replied. She shook her head. "Nothing. I just hate to think of doing all that stuff without you that we always do together...but you'll be home soon, I know." she said. I wondered then if she had the same feeling I did. The feeling that something was wrong, way wrong. I looked around the bus at my bandmates, sitting around, drinking, solemn expressions on their faces. It seemed like everyone was feeling it. A few minutes later, a loud cry came from the back of the bus. "Rev..." Matt mumbled, heading down the hallway. Plague began to cry too, Detta getting up and following Matt to the back of the bus.

Detta POV-

I picked Plague up momentarily before handing him to Zack, who had just walked into the room. I grabbed the trashcan in the corner of the room, emptying the contents of my stomach into it, the acidic, sour taste burning my mouth and throat. "Woah...you okay?" Zacky asked, cradling Plague in one arm, pulling my hair back with his free hand. "Yeah...just...I guess it was something I ate." I replied, wiping my mouth with my hand. Hello, pregnancy. Matt was still holding a screaming Rev, walking around the bus, trying his hardest to get him to stop screaming. Plague had stopped, he was simply staring up at his dad, his eyes slowly closing once more. "Are you sure?" Zacky asked, pressing the back of his hand to my forehead and then my cheeks, checking for fever. "Yeah. I haven't been feeling well all day." I replied, walking to the front of the bus, grabbing a bottle of water to rinse my mouth out with. Something still wasn't right. "Where's Piper?" I asked. "She went to call Prissy." Matt replied, still trying to calm Rev. He'd been crying for nearly ten minutes now. "Is she not back yet?" he asked Syn, who was standing, hands on his hips, staring out into the night through the front window of the bus. "Nah and I don't see her coming either. I'll go look for her." he replied, grabbing his coat and heading outside. My stomach turned, my mouth watering. I was going to lose it again. I walked into the bathroom, shutting and locking the door behind me, kneeling before the toilet. My stomach was empty except for what little water I'd just had. I dry heaved until tears streaked my face, my forehead sweaty. This was one thing I hated about being pregnant. I washed my face and unlocked the door, stepping slowly out into the hallway. Matt Tuck was standing at the top of the steps, talking to Matt frantically. Piper...hospital...ambulance...Syn's with her. I instantly became dizzy, stumbling into the wall. Matt handed Rev to Johnny as Zacky's arms wrapped around me.

Zacky POV-

We loaded the kids into the car and I drove as fast as I could to the closest hospital, hoping I was heading for the right place. Piper...Baby Shadow...Syn...so many thoughts crossed my mind as I held my sobbing wife's hand tightly, our boys and Matt and Piper's son all in the backseat of my BMW. "Zacky...hurry..." Detta said through her tears. "I'm try, baby, I'm trying." I said, looking in my rear-view mirror. Johnny was in the car behind us with his girlfriend. I pulled into the parking lot of the hospital, swerving into a space, yanking the car into park. Detta and I unloaded the two babies, Zacky holding tightly to my pants leg. "Come on." I told him, carrying Plague in my arms to the entrance to the ER. "Piper Sanders." I said, breathless, to the triage nurse. "The waiting room is over there." she replied, pointing to our left. Matt was sitting next to Syn, who was rocking back and forth, his knees to his chest, blood covering his arms and shirt. "Oh shit." I mumbled. "What?" Detta asked. I stepped in front of her, blocking her view. "Baby, listen to me...Brian...he's um...he's got blood on him...just a warning." I told her. Her eyes watered, tears spilling over her lashes as she sobbed, holding Little Rev close to her. "No, no...Piper...not Piper..." My heart broke for her. I shifted Plague to one arm, wrapping the other one around my wife, slowly guiding her to the waiting room.

Detta POV-

I walked over to Matt and Brian, baby Rev in my arms, still crying. "Matt...sweetheart." I said, wiping tears from my own face. He shifted his eyes to meet mine. "Is she okay?" I asked. He shrugged. "They haven't told you anything?" I replied, choking back a sob. He shook his head, a tear rolling down his cheek. "I love you...Piper loves you...everything's gonna be okay." I told him. He nodded, still not speaking. "Do they know what happened?" I asked, looking to Brian. He didn't move. He'd stopped rocking back and forth, he was just breathing, blinking, staring off into the distance. Poor Brian. I gave his hand a squeeze and told him I loved him before standing and kissing the top of Matt's head. I made my way back to my seat, holding my godson on my lap as Johnny, his girlfriend, Abe, and Piper's parents all slowly filed in, sitting closely together, no one speaking, all of us waiting. Every time a doctor would come in, we'd all jump to our feet, only to be disappointed. Finally, a doctor walked in and called for someone named Sanders. Piper Sanders. "Me. I'm…I'm her husband. What happened?" Matt asked. Syn moved for the first time all night then, looking up, tears running down his face. "Well sir, your wife is in very bad shape. Not only was she shot, but she was beaten as well." The doctor began. I was grateful that Prissy was holding Rev, because I had to grab onto Zack to keep from falling out. Piper, shot, just like Chris. That was all I could think of. I don't remember anything else the doctor said except for 'coma' before Matt fell to his knees. I moved forward, wrapping my arms around him as we sobbed together. More arms wrapped around Matt and myself. Someone asked if we could see her, and the doctor said one to two at a time. Matt went first as we all picked ourselves up off the floor, tears streaming, holding one another closely as we all cried together. I held Brian's hand tightly, sandwiched between him and my husband, Little Zacky holding our legs tightly.

Later that night, as I lay awake in the bed my husband and I shared, my mind was running a hundred miles per hour. I still hadn't told Zacky I was pregnant again. With everything that was going on, the news could wait. There were more important things to worry about. I worried about Piper, and wondered when she would be okay. I worried about baby Shadow, who was in the NICU at the hospital, two months premature, fighting for her own life. I worried about poor Matt, who was sitting by Piper's side as she slept. I wished the person who had done this to Piper dead. I didn't care who they were, they were heartless and in my angry mind and heart, they did not deserve to live. Tears spilled over my lashes once more as I turned over, trying to sleep. It wasn't working, but I had to try.

After sunrise, I finally gave up on sleep. I had too much on my mind, it just wasn't gonna happen. I was defeated. "Zacky." I said, shaking my husband. He'd fallen asleep long before. I'd just laid awake, watching him all night. "Hmm?" he replied. "I need to tell you something." I said. "What is it?" he replied, still unmoving. "Zack...I'm pregnant." I told him. I wanted to wait, but it was killing me holding it inside. His eyes opened and he sat upright in bed, looking around frantically. "What is it?" I asked. "I had a dream you told me you were pregnant." he said. "I did. I am." I replied. "You're pregnant?" he asked. I nodded, laying a hand on his shoulder. "I just found out yesterday...I was gonna tell you before you left but with everything that happened with Pip..Piper..." I replied, choking back tears. He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me to him. "It's okay...it's gonna be okay, Detta." he whispered, kissing my temple. "Zacky, how are we gonna handle another baby?" I said. "We'll handle it, Baby. Don't worry. It's gonna be okay. I promise. Have I ever broken a promise to you before?"

Zacky POV-

We sat in the waiting room of Detta's doctors' office and waited for what seemed like hours that afternoon. "I told you we'd be here forever." she told me, laying a hand on my arm. "It's okay. My parents don't mind watching the kids for a few hours." I replied. She nodded, staring off into the distance. With us taking care of not only our two, but keeping Rev and Shadow,once she got out of the hospital, when Matt's parents couldn't, things were bound to get a little crazy, but we'd handle it. Surely by the time Detta had the new baby, things would be getting back to normal. Piper would be fine by then, I assured myself.

"Vendetta Baker?" a nurse called. We both stood up and followed the nurse to the back where she checked Detta's vital signs and weighed her before sticking us in a room to wait. I put on the gown they left for me and sat on the table, staring at Zacky. "You okay?" he asked. I smiled and nodded. "I'm fine. Thinking about Piper." I said. He nodded and looked down at his feet. "She's gonna be okay, you know?" he told me. I opened my mouth to reply, but the doctor opened the door just as I did. "Mrs. Baker..." he said, staring down at his clipboard. "Yep." I said, still staring at Zacky. "I thought it might be you. Not many people around here named Vendetta." he said. I looked over and smiled at him. "Not a really popular name..." I said. "No, not at all. So, how are you? How are your boys?" he asked, taking a seat at the end of the table. "They're good. I'm okay...pregnant...I think." I said. "Says here you took an HPT and it came up positive, so let's see what we have going on in there." he said, pulling on a pair of gloves. I laid back on the table, taking Zacky's hand in mine as the doctor pushed on my belly a little bit before pouring a clear blue liquid on it and taking out the sonar to check for the baby's heartbeat. He ran it over my abdomen a few times before putting it away and wiping off my belly. Something wasn't right. I didn't hear a heartbeat, and I don't think he did either. Maybe it was too early, I told myself. Sometimes you couldn't hear a heartbeat if you were less than eight to ten weeks. He turned on the ultrasound machine and squirted more blue goo on my stomach. I was getting scared. What was wrong? I squeezed Zack's hand tighter.

The doctor moved his body to block the screen. After a few moments, he turned it off. "Mrs. Baker, I'm afraid I have bad news." he told me. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. "What is it?" I replied. "It seems like you've suffered a miscarriage. The embryo is implanted into your uterus, but there is no heartbeat. The baby is measuring at about seven weeks, so a heartbeat should at least be visible with the ultrasound. I'm terribly sorry." he said.

Zacky POV-

I blinked back tears as Detta lost control of her emotions. I had only known she was pregnant for a matter of hours, but that didn't matter. That was my-our-child that had been unknowingly living inside of her, and now, it wasn't living. It was dead, a mass of seven-week old tissue implanted inside of her that would never breathe, grow, walk, talk, live, or see the light of day. The doctor scheduled a surgery to remove the 'tissue' and sent us home. "I want to go see Piper." Detta said as we neared the hospital.

Detta POV-

"Babe, I dunno if she's awake..." Zack said. "Zack, I just want to go see Piper." I said, rubbing my temples. I was getting short-tempered, and I knew it was just my emotions. I was beyond upset, I needed my best friend, whether or not she was awake, I needed her. Zacky pulled into the hospital parking lot and found us a space to park. "Are you sure you want to go see her right now? You're upset enough as it is..." he asked. I got out of the car and slammed the door, walking toward the hospital entrance. "Detta..." Zacky called from behind me. I walked through the automatic doors and toward the elevators, ignoring Zacky. I pressed the elevator button and ignored Zack once again as he caught up to me. "Detta..." he said, stopping the doors from closing. "What?" I snapped, my voice cracking. He stepped in and took my hand. "Detta...do you really want to go see Piper right now? She's not in good shape. You know that...and you're already upset...you're having surgery tomorrow, you need to get home and rest." he said as the doors opened to Piper's floor. I jerked away from him and took a right, heading to Piper's room. "Detta..." he called, running after me. I turned around to face him, tears spilling over my lashes onto my cheeks. He stopped in front of me and pulled me into a hug. "It's gonna be okay." he whispered. I nodded, wiping the tears from my face. "Yeah. I just wanna go see Piper." I replied. "Well let's go." he said, taking my hand. We walked together to Piper's room and knocked softly on the door. "Come in." Matt called back. Zack pushed the door open and we walked hand-in-hand into the cool, dark room. Piper was laying there, still asleep, still bandaged, still hooked up to all the monitors, Matt at her side, feet propped up on the bed. I sighed, walking to the other side of her bed and taking her hand. "Hey Piper..." I said, sitting on the edge of the bed. She didn't respond. "Well, you were right yesterday...I took a pregnancy test and it was positive...but uh...today we got some bad news." I said, choking up again. Matt looked up at me, his brows furrowed. Zack placed a hand on my shoulder. "We lost it...we lost the baby...I have to have surgery tomorrow...but everything's gonna be okay. With me, and with you. " I told Piper. Matt reached across and laid a hand on mine and Piper's. I choked back a sob as Zack rubbed my shoulders. Not much else was said, minus goodbyes. Matt wished me luck with surgery and said he'd come see me while I was recovering. I thanked him and hugged him, trying not to cry again. He was the big brother I'd always wanted, but never had.

Zacky POV-

I was a nervous wreck as Detta went into surgery the next day. They wouldn't let me in there with her, which made things even worse. Little Zacky and Plague were with my parents still, and Matt and Piper were a few floors below us. Detta would have to spend the night in the hospital just to make sure there were no complications, but we could go home the next day. Johnny and Brian both stopped by to see us after they visited Piper that day. "How's Detta?" Johnny asked, sitting next to me on the couch in her room. Brian had left, he was too upset after seeing Piper to stick around for long. "Not sure. They haven't told me anything yet." I replied. "Oh...do you know about how long her surgery is supposed to last?" he asked. I shook my head, leaning back. "Do you want me to stay here with you til she gets out?" he asked. I shook my head. "Nah bro. It's cool. Thanks though." I said. He nodded, staring at the wall. We both stared at it for another hour while we waited on Detta to return from surgery. The room phone rang, snapping us out of our trance. "Hello?" I answered. "Mr. Baker? They're going to be bringing your wife in in just a bit. She'll be a little groggy, and in a little bit of pain, but everything will be fine. She's heading to recovery now, and she'll be there for about an hour," the doctor said. "Oh okay. Thank you." I replied. "Uh-huh. See you in a bit." he said.

I hung up the phone and sat back down, turning on the TV. The hour I waited on Detta to return dragged by. I felt like it would never end. Johnny left me alone before she came back, making me even more nervous for some reason. I texted Matt to try and pass the time, but it didn't help. We didn't have much to talk about. I sat nervously tapping my feet, my head in my hands for the rest of the hour. "Zack..." Detta's voice came from the doorway. She was in a wheelchair, being pushed by a nurse, the doctor behind her. "Baby...I've been so worried about you. How are you feeling?" I said, standing up, walking over to her as the nurse let the bedrails down. "Sore, and tired...but okay, I guess." she answered. "Okay, Mrs. Baker...you ready?" the nurse asked. Detta nodded, grimacing. "Hand." she said, reaching out for my hand. I took her hand into both of mine and the doctor held the wheelchair as Detta slowly stood, clearly in pain. "Ugh...this is gonna suck." she said, sitting on the bed. "I'm sorry, Babe." I told her, pushing her hair back out of her eyes. "I just hate the whole bleeding for two to four weeks thing..." she told me. "Yeah...I'm sorry..." I repeated. Detta curled up in my arms and drifted off to sleep a few moments later.

Detta POV-

I had Zacky stop by Piper's room before we headed down to our car. "How is she?" I asked Matt. "Good, still out, but her breathing is better. Shadow's doing good, too." he replied. I smiled and took Piper's hand. "I love you, Piper." I said, kissing my best friend's hand. I could swear I saw her smile a bit, but that could've been the pain pills. "And how are you?" Matt asked me. "I'm good, just kinda loopy from the pain medicine." I said. "Well, keep me updated, and I'll do the same for you, alright?" he answered, giving me a gentle squeeze. "I will. I love you." I told him, hugging him back. "Love you too, Detta."

Zack and I went home and I crawled into bed to sleep while he went to get the boys from his mom's house, but I couldn't sleep. I dug through the medicine cabinet to look for something to help knock me out. My phone went off, distracting me. I looked away from the cabinet, still feeling around for the bottle of sleeping pills. "Shit!" I said, jerking my hand back. My fingertips were bleeding. "Damn it." I mumbled, turning on the cold water and running it over my fingers. I knew exactly what had cut me...now just to find it. I turned off the water and got on my knees on the counter so I could see into the cabinet better. The light gleamed off the little piece of metal. I slid it into my palm and closed my hand around it. I knew that in the next few days, weeks, or however long it took for Piper to wake up, it may come in handy.

I finally found the Tylenol PM, pulled two from the bottle, and went downstairs to get something to drink them down with just as Zack walked in with the boys. "Mommy!" Little Zacky said, running into the kitchen. "Hey my Monkey..." I said, hugging him. "Do you feel better?" he asked me. "A little, but I'm just tired, and my tummy hurts." I replied. "Oh. Well, whenever my tummy hurts, you always give me Sprite. Maybe you should drink a Sprite." he said. I smiled warmly and ruffled his hair. "You're too cute." I said, swallowing the pills with a sip of water, my hand still clenched around the razorblade in my palm.

"Okay. I'm gonna go to bed." I said after a few moments of silence. I kissed both my boys and my husband goodnight and climbed the stairs to my bedroom. I opened the drawer beside my bed, pulled out my jewelry box, and dropped the razorblade into it for safe-keeping before laying down and pulling the covers up over me. I fell asleep quickly, and slept hard before I was shaken awake by a horrible nightmare.

Piper was standing there, the rain pouring down, on top of a building, holding an infant, wrapped in a bloody blanket. "Piper, don't do it!" I yelled. I couldn't see myself, but I could see her, and Matt, who was holding Rev and Shadow. "I have to do it, Detta." Piper screamed back. "No, Piper, you can't. I can't go on without you...the baby's already dead, you can't die, too. I'll have no reason to live." I screamed. "I'm sorry, Detta," she replied. Everything went black as I sat up in the bed, screaming.

"Woah, woah...what's going on?" Zack asked, running into the room, Plague in his arms. "Piper...she had the baby...she was gonna kill herself." I said, gasping for air. "It was just a dream, honey. I promise. Piper's still in the hospital..." he told me. He sat with me until I calmed down a bit. There was no way I was going to be going back to sleep, though. He left to go put Plague down and check on Zacky. Meanwhile, I yanked open the drawer beside the bed, digging in my jewelry box for the razorblade I'd tucked away earlier. I walked into the bathroom and shut the door behind me, locking it, something I didn't usually do. I started up the shower and turned on the water, shedding my clothes.

I climbed into the shower, tears already pouring down my face. It just wasn't fair. Why my best friend? Why my baby? Why so close together? Why? I punched the shower door, and it rattled in its tracks. "Fuck." I said, pulling hand away. The razorblade had knicked my palm. I held it between my fingers and pressed the sharp edge to the inside of my thigh, slicing a thin line open, letting the blood pour down my leg. I felt a little better, but not better enough. I dragged the blade across my skin just below the other cut and let the blood pour again. One more, I told myself. I sliced my leg open again, the emotional pain pouring down the drain with the water that was running over my body.

I pulled my knees up to my chin and zoned out. I hadn't cut in so long, I'd forgotten the feelings that came with it. I suddenly felt like I could breathe better. I pulled myself up off the floor and finished my shower. When I got out, I realized I hadn't brought in any clean clothes. Hopefully Zack wouldn't notice the cuts on my leg if he was in the bedroom. I cracked open the door and peeked into the bedroom. All clear, thank God. I practically ran across the room to the dresser, dug in the drawer for a pair of pants and underwear. "Whatcha doing?" a voice asked from behind me. I could've sworn it was Chris, but I knew better. I spun around, holding my clothes against my chest. "Zack..." I said, breathing hard. "Who were you expecting?" he asked, raising an eyebrow. "No one...that's why I jumped." I said, walking back toward the bathroom. "Detta...baby...you...um...you've got blood on your leg." he said. I looked down and sure enough, there was blood streaking down my leg. "Ugh...I uh...I guess I'll have to take another shower." I said. "You sure you're okay?" he called as I shut the door. I nodded, not that he could see me, and turned the water back on to rinse my leg off. I didn't want to take another full-on shower. The water had gone cold anyway. I rinsed the blood off and pressed tissue to the cuts until they stopped bleeding. I needed an antiseptic on them anyway. I knew there was some laying around here somewhere. I had a five year old. I'd be stupid not to have antiseptic.

After ten minutes of searching, I got frustrated and just poured rubbing alcohol on the cuts. Big mistake. "FUCK!" I yelled, knocking the bottle over. It spilled all over the counter and onto the floor. Tonight was not my night. "Is everything okay?" Zack asked, opening the door. "Yeah, I just knocked this alcohol over." I replied, pulling my clothes on. "Are you sure you're okay?" he asked, leaning against the doorframe. "Yes. I'm fine. I just want to sleep...I didn't exactly get a very good nap earlier." I said, turning around. "Babe, you slept six hours." he said. "Still. Not long enough. I'm exhausted." I told him. "You don't wanna eat first?" he asked me. "Not really." I replied, trying to walk past him. He grabbed me by the wrist, stopping me. "I love you, Detta."

"I love you too." I told Zack. He laid with me until I fell asleep.

Zacky POV-

The next four weeks passed by uneventfully. Shadow made a lot of good progress and so did Piper. She was breathing on her own, but still in a coma. The doctors said her brain was becoming more active and that she could wake up any day now. Detta never gave up hope, though she got really quiet and reclusive after she lost the baby. She drank a lot, sometimes too much, and I suspected she'd started cutting again, but I wasn't for sure, and I didn't want to accuse her of anything. She was going through so much. We were sitting on the couch watching a movie with the boys when the phone rang.

"Hey guys, they're letting Shadow out of the hospital today...if you wanna bring the kids to meet her..." Matt said. "Alright, cool bro...I'll let Detta know and we'll see you soon, alright?"

We got dressed and readied the boys to go to the hospital. Detta explained to little Zacky that baby Shadow was all better now and she could go home, and we could hold her and touch her now. "Is Aunt Piper better, too?" he asked. Detta looked up at me, grimacing. "Not yet, Monkey...soon..." she replied. I heard her mumble "I hope" under her breath. I took her hand in mine and kissed her knuckles. "I love you." I told her. She nodded, squeezing my hand. She was trying to hold back tears again. "Detta..." I said quietly. She shook her head, wiping her face with the back of her free hand. She let down the window and lit a cigarette, still not speaking. She'd done really well not smoking when she was pregnant and after Plague was born, but after Piper's accident and her miscarriage, it was another old habit that she'd picked back up. I couldn't say much, though, I had never quit. She coughed and handed it over to me. "Finish that off..." she said. I let go of her hand long enough to put the cigarette between my lips.

Detta POV-

I watched Zack as he took a final drag off the cigarette and put it out. We pulled into the hospital and I opened the back door, unbuckling my baby from his carseat and sitting him on my hip. "You got him?" Zack asked me. I nodded, shutting the car door and walking ahead. I had been here so many times in the past month, my body was on autopilot to Piper's room. I walked in the door without knocking, not like there was any point. Rev was in his portable crib across the room, sleeping, and Piper, sitting up in the bed, wide awake. I stopped, dead in my tracks, my mouth ajar. Why hadn't Matt told us she was awake? Where the hell was he? Maybe he was talking to the doctors about Shadow. "Detta! Thank God a familiar face. who the fuck are all these people...and kids?" Piper asked. I stammered, sitting down in a chair by her bed. "You're awake." I said, shifting Plague to sit on my lap. "No shit. What the fuck is going on? Why am i in a hospital, with a...Brian, at my bedside?" she snapped. I looked around the room. Zack and Little Zack were now standing around. I hadn't even noticed Brian standing behind me. Had he been there the whole time?

"Um...you...uh..." I stuttered. What did I say to her? She clearly remembered me...but it seemed like she didn't remember Synyster...she would've called him either Syn, Bri, or Bri-Bri, which was her pet name for him...and she called him 'a Brian'. The doctors had told us all there was a chance she'd have some memory loss. Some memory loss, they'd said...if she remembered me and didn't know who Brian was, then she'd lost years. "I what?" Piper demanded. "You uh...you had an accident..and you got knocked out...but you're awake now, and that's what matters." I told her. She looked at me, still confused. "How do you feel?" I asked. "Like I got hit by a car. Did I?" she asked, touching her face. "Not exactly...but don't worry about that right now...Zacky, come say hey to Aunt Piper..." I said, turning to my oldest son, who was sitting on the floor, playing with Rev through the mesh of the porta-crib. He got up and walked over to me, leaning on the chair. "Aunt...so you and Chris had kids...where is he anyway?" Piper asked. Oh no, she didn't know Chris was gone...I bit my lip and tried not to cry. I was saved by the sound of Matt's voice. "Time for you to meet your..." he was cooing to the baby in his arms. He looked up and stopped, staring at us all. Piper gave him an odd look. She didn't know who he was. "Piper..." he mumbled. "Um...Detta, why did Jesus just walk into my room, holding a baby? And when did Jesus get tattoos?" she asked me. Matt was kinda favoring the big guy these days, just more metal. His face was all scruffy and he looked exhausted. The hair around his mohawk was growing back, which looked kinda funny. I almost wanted to giggle, but I held it in. No one replied to Piper. Matt was just staring at her, holding Shadow. "Seriously, what the fuck is going on? Is this the rapture? Am I dead?" Piper asked, her voice cracking. "No, Piper, you're not dead." I replied, shaking my head. "Well...if I am...Jesus is gorgeous, even with the beard," she said.

Matt looked around at everyone individually and then back at Piper. "You're awake." he said. "NO SHIT!" Piper said, throwing her hands up into the air. "Ouch." she mumbled, rubbing her hand. She still had an IV for nourishment. Obviously the nurses had already had time to remove her feeding tube. How long had she been awake? "What's the year? What year is it?" Piper asked. Zack spoke up. "It's 2013." Zack replied. Piper burst into tears. Matt sat on the bed, freed an arm, and wrapped it around her. "Don't touch me! I don't even know you!" she said, wiggling away from him. He looked at me helplessly, but obliged to Piper's wishes. I handed Plague up to Brian since he was closest and sat on the bed, wrapping Piper in my arms. "Piper..." I whispered, stroking her hair. "Where's Chris? I want my brother..." she sobbed. I looked up at everyone, this time, I was the helpless one. God, I didn't want to have to tell her. I had enough trouble talking about him myself...telling her he was gone wasn't going to be easy.

Just as I opened my mouth to speak, a few short raps came at the door before it opened. My mouth fell ajar. I was angry, shocked, and just completely beside myself. There stood Kale, cleaner than I'd seen him in a long time...he looked just like he did before Chris died. He was Piper's other brother, the one who we...who I always blamed for Chris' death. I think Piper's family secretly did, too, along with Reagan...that sorry bastard. I could feel my breathing increase as Piper looked up. "Kale..." she gasped. Matt laid Shadow in Zack's arms, and I could see his muscles tense. He hated Kale, just like I did. "What are you doing here?" Matt said. "I came to see my sister," Kale replied simply. His voice sounded so much like Chris'. He favored Chris, only taller. I'd missed Kale, but I wouldn't admit that to anyone but myself.

"Kale, what's going on?" Piper asked. He opened his mouth to speak but I cut him off, standing up. "Let's go outside, Kale. Now." I said, walking out of the room. "I'm going, too." Matt said. I turned to Piper and kissed her forehead. "We'll be back. Just sit tight, okay. Don't go anywhere." I instructed. "Where the fuck am I going to go,Detta? I got more tubes than a fucking water park!" Piper replied. I couldn't help but laugh. "You'd figure out a way." I replied. She looked around at all the faces surrounding her, none of which she knew, that was clear, and folded her arms across her chest. "I'm in hell."

Matt was holding the door open, his jaw tight. "Let's go. Now." he demanded. Kale walked out and I followed, Matt behind me. We no sooner walked outside and around the corner of the building when Matt swung and hit Kale square in the jaw. Kale stumbled, but he didn't fall. He licked his lips and looked up at Matt. "After what you did you think you can just come in and think your back in her life. Fuck you, motherfucker!" Matt yelled at him. I stood between the two, Kale against the wall behind me. "Matt! Calm down! Let him explain himself and then you can do whatever you want. Jesus Christ." I said. Matt usually listened to me. I had a feeling today would be different.

"I will not be fucking calm. My wife just woke up from a coma, doesnt remember shit, and her fucking brother who tried to kill me, and maybe her gets to waltz back into her life? Fuck that!" he replied. "Matt, please. I don't like him any more than you do, and I have my own reasons in addition to yours. Now just let him talk. Jesus fucking Christ!" I yelled back. Matt wasn't used to me yelling. "You have five minutes before I finish kicking your ass. Go." Matt said to Kale, his fists clenched at his sides. I stepped to the side and looked at Kale. "Talk." I demanded. Kale looked at both of us and cleared his throat.

"I'm clean, have been since I tried to shoot you. I got out about a year ago, and my parents said not to tell ya'll, that ya'll didnt need me to fuck things up. So I kept to myself. I shouldnt be here, but I wanted to see her...I was worried." Kale replied. I looked at him, dumbfounded. So he really was clean? "You're clean? Well, my fucking God, hell has frozen over...Jesus...I need a cigarette." I said, patting my pockets. "I quit," Kale said. I laughed. "Wow, I really do need one now," I said. Matt handed me a pack of Marlboros. "So just like that, you want back in her life? You try to kill her, kill me, our unborn child in the making, and you expect me to just let you talk to her..." Matt said to Kale, lighting his cigarette and handing me the lighter. I held a hand up to Kale before he could reply. "When did you start smoking?" I asked Matt. "When Piper went into a coma." he answered quickly. I shrugged and lit my own smoke, handing his cigarettes and lighter back to him.

"I need a drink." I mumbled. "That I don't have." Matt answered. I took a long drag off the cigarette and looked over at Kale. He had the same eyes as his brother, that perfect blue. I pulled my sunglasses down over my eyes. "I think there's a bottle of Jack in the trunk of the car..." I thought out loud. "Don't let him near it, I don't want him relapsing, now is not the time." Matt said, motioning to Kale, who was silently staring at us. "Shit. That's my bottle. Ain't nobody getting near it." I replied, looking over at Matt. He rolled his eyes at me and put out his own cigarette. "Don't get fucked up just yet, okay? Piper needs us sober...she just woke up, you know?"

I stuck my tongue out at Matt. "Fine. Look, Piper wants to know about Chris. It's clear she doesn't know anyone but me and Kale right now. I guess it would probably be best if we explained it to her." I said. As much as I hated it, I knew that's how it was going to have to be. "Wait, she doesnt know who Matt is? How the fuck did she forget him?" Kale asked. I gave him a look and rolled my eyes, blowing out a puff of smoke. "She hit her head really fucking hard, dumbass." I replied. Kale shrugged. "No one told me exactly what happened, just that she was in the hospital." he told me.

"She got attacked...almost died...been in a coma for a month...Shadow was born preemie." I said. " It's been a fucked up month. Some crazy ass fan beat her and shot her, she just came out of a coma when you showed up. We dont know what she remembers and doesn't." Matt added. "But she clearly doesn't remember Matt, my kids, Zack, or Brian...she knows me and you...and she asked where Chris was..." I told Kale. He nodded sadly. "If she doesnt know who Syn, Zacky, and Matt are she's got to think she's like seventeen. She fell for them right after that." Kale said. He was right. She had to be in a teenage mindframe, meaning she'd lost at least ten years.

"Well, we have to figure something out..she's just going to keep asking about Chris and I think someone she knows should tell her...I don't know that I can. I can try...but...it's still a really hard thing for me to talk about." I said. "So we do it. The both of us. Matt probably needs to be there too. She doesnt know him, but I think she likes him. This is going to be hard as fuck..." Kale replied. "Who the fuck are you telling?" I snapped.

"I'm still not sure about this. I really don't want him near her," Matt said, lighting another cigarette. I turned to Matt, lifting my sunglasses, and gave him a pleading look. "Matt...it has to be done...I can't tell her about Chris by myself." I said quietly. He gave me a look of understanding and nodded. "Fine, but I still don't like it." he replied. "And you think I do?" I asked. "He didn't try to kill you..." Matt replied. "No, but...he was there...when...you know what, this isn't about me, or you...it's about Piper. She's fucking lost and she doesn't know anyone or anything, except me and Kale...so just put your big boy pants on and deal with it. Suck it up. You'll be there. He won't hurt her, Matt. He says he's clean. Do I trust him? No, I don't, but I have to believe in something...I have to believe this is what Piper needs right now...it's the only thing I can believe in."

Matt threw his cigarette butt to the ground and stomped out the remaining fire. "Detta, no offense, but smart ass comments arent going to make me agree any quicker, and right now she has no fucking idea who I am, and if he did do something do you really think she'd understand me protecting her? Hell no. So I know it has to happen, but...doesn't mean I have to like it," he replied. I bit my tongue. He was really starting to piss me off. I just wanted Piper to remember, and all he was worried about was kicking Kale's ass. " I don't like it either, Matthew. But it has to be done...let's just go." I said, turning to walk away. Kale walked beside me, the both of us silent. "I'm finishing this fucking cigarette. I might should hit the bottle and maybe some weed before I go in there with this fucker. Cause this...has stupid written all over it..." Matt said from behind me. I turned around. "Oh don't you fucking dare." I said. I think it may have been in Italian. "Don't I fucking dare what, Detta? Don't start with me. When the love of your life asks you who the fuck you are and who the fuck your kids are...then you can tell me what the fuck I dare to do. Until then, let me cope my fucking way." Matt pushed past Kale and I and walked back into the hospital. "God damn it. Come on," I said, taking off after him.

"Matt...Matt!" I called. He was standing in front of the elevator, tapping his foot impatiently. "What?" he snapped, turning around to face me, tears brimming in his eyes. "Matt, I'm sorry...look..she's my best friend...she's my sister...I just want what's best for her..." I told him. He nodded, the tears spilling over his thick lashes. "I do too...I'm just not sure he's a part of it. No matter what he has to offer when it comes to memories..." he replied. "But we have to try, Matt." I said, my voice breaking. "I don't know if I can try. Right now I just want to curl up and cry. My wife is fucking seventeen again. My kids don't have a mom. What do you want me to say Detta? That it's going to be okay...for the first time since she got shot...I'm not so sure."

"We just have to keep hope, Matt...don't give up on her." I told him, laying a hand on his arm. Matt sighed heavily as the elevator dinged. Kale was still standing next to me, silent. We all got in and leaned against the wall as the doors shut. " I couldn't give up if I tried. I can't lose her. I won't make it," he replied. I wiped tears from my cheeks and took a deep breath. "I know what it's like to lose the love of your life, Matt...and I know that it feels like she isn't here right now, and it has for a while, but Piper's gonna be okay. She's a fighter...I've learned that in the fifteen years I've known her..." I said.

"You lost Chris but you got Zacky. There's a difference. If she never comes back, neither will I. Detta, I dont exist without her." Matt replied. Two more floors and it was time to face the music, so to speak. "Yeah...I know...but now she wants to know where Chris is...I'm really scared to re-live it all..." I said. Reliving losing Chris was going to be crushing. I hated hearing the story of how he died. The elevator stopped a floor below Piper's and a guy got out. I hadn't even noticed him standing in there with us. "Well, then I guess for everyone's sake that fuckface decides to keep his shit in line, because if he doesn't...I'm going to jail." Matt said, motioning to Kale. I looked between the both of them and up at Matt. "You trust me, don't you?" I asked him. He smiled slightly and looked down at me. "Yeah. Most days, but I question my sanity too, so whatever that comeback was is irrelevant."

"You're not insane, Matt." I said. Ha, not insane, I laughed inside to myself for a moment. That was funny. "I am fucking insane if I'm going to let him anywhere near her after what he did. Just do it." Matt told me. Do it? Do what? "Do what?" I asked him. He looked over his shoulder. He looked more irritated now. "Don't play Detta. Get Kale and just go to the fucking room. He better not fuck this up." he told me. "I'm not playing, I really didn't know what you meant," I said to Matt. He nodded and went into Piper's room. "Come on, Kale." I sighed, walking down the hallway. I stopped a few feet away from Piper's door and turned to face him. "So...I can try and tell her, but...uhh...I may need your help." I told him. "It's going to be tough on me too. I mean I had therepy for it and all, but doesnt make it any easier..." he replied.

"Yeah, I know..." I said. He was, after all, there when Chris died...when Reagan shot him...he held him while he literally...I shut my eyes against the images in my mind. "You really think we can do this? I mean it ain't like we see eye to eye real well. And one wrong statement and Matt'll have my ass..." Kale said, cutting my train of thought off. "We have to...for Piper...she has to know." I told him. He nodded, licking his lips again. "Yeah, although honestly, it's a part of my past I'd rather forget."

I, for the first time in a long time, felt sympathetic toward Kale. "Yeah...we all have parts of our past we'd like to forget, Kale...but she thinks my kids are Chris' kids...and they're not...neither of them are." I told him. "She doesn't even know how you got Little Zacky. She's lost so much..." he said quietly. "Yeah...she has...but I'll do whatever it takes for her to get it back." I replied. He nodded. "Me too..."

We started walking to her room and I turned on my heels one more time, shaking my finger at him. "Just so you know, I still hate you...but I love Piper. She's the closest thing to family I have around here..." I told him. Kale smirked. God, he fucking looked like Chris when he did that. I couldn't handle it. "I know." he said. "Don't let Matt see you doing that. He'll snap your neck. Let's go." I said. I laid my hand on the door, Kale next to me. I took a deep breath and looked into his blue eyes...Chris' blue eyes. "Time to re-live the nightmare..." he said.

I nodded and pushed the door open. Zack and Little Zacky were gone, probably for a walk. Syn was still holding Plague, making faces at him, and Matt was situated in a chair next to Piper's bed. I crossed the room and sat next to Piper, who was holding Shadow. "Piper...we need to talk...me, you, and Kale," I told her, tears filling my eyes. She brushed Shadow's cheek with a finger. "It's about Chris, isn't it?" she asked me, a tear sliding down her cheek. I nodded, wiping away my own tears. "Yeah, it is." I replied. "Matt, you may want to take her. I've got a feeling I'm not going to be able to during this," she said to Matt. He took Shadow from her and sat back down. I took a deep breath and wrapped an arm around Piper. "You know I love you...and I loved your brother more than anything in this whole entire world..." I told her. Piper closed her eyes, bowing her head. "Loved..." she whispered. "I still do..." I told her. "Just from afar now, though, right?" she asked. I swallowed a sob and nodded. "So far away..." I whispered. A few tears dropped from my face onto my hands.

"I'm not dumb, me I'm being stupid. Tell me the clues are wrong. Please tell me I'm wrong." Piper plead. "I wish I could, Piper...I really, really, wish I could. It's been five years now..." I told her, losing control of my emotions. Piper broke down, too, buring her face into my shoulder. "How? How could I not remember that! What happened?" she asked. Kale cleared his throat and sat down on the edge of the bed. "He was shot. I was there," he said, laying a hand on Piper's leg. "What? Why?" she asked, still sobbing. I held her tighter. God, I didn't want to hear this again. "Kale..." I whispered. He nodded and looked down at his hands. "We had a band. Chris, me, and three other guys, one named Reagan... He seemed like a good enough guy, to begin with, but eventually the drugs took over, and he uh...he drug me down with him. We...we went to the house one night to steal...money and Reagan was freaking out...he uh...he..." Kale looked away, surely wiping away tears. I covered my mouth to stifle the noise from my sobs. "Chris walked in on Reagan taking his money...and uh...Reagan...shot Chris," he added, shaking his head, " I heard the shot downstairs...got there as Reagan was running...Chris was hurt so bad...I called 911, but they didn't get there in time...he died...in my arms."

"Where was I?" Piper asked. " Me and you got there too late...you had taken me to the doctor...and we'd just picked up Little Z from daycare...I was so nervous to tell Chris..that I was...and we pulled up, and there were cop cars and an ambulance in the yard..." I told her. "I...I...d-don't know...w-w-what to d-d-d-do without him, Detta..." Piper said between sobs. Tears fell faster, harder, thicker. "I know, Piper...I know. I miss him too, I miss him so much." I replied. " It's so hard to think that he's gone. We did everything together..." she said. I swear I heard Chris' voice in my ear. _Sometimes you have to laugh to keep from crying, _he said. I smiled to myself and nudged Piper. "I know. Remember the time we broke into that old warehouse?" I asked her.

Piper tried to laugh through her tears. "Yeah and we got busted by the cops. Tried to make up some dumbass excuse to tell our parents..." she added. "And the time he took us to get our first tattoos?" I said. "He never would get one himself, though," she replied, laughing a bit. "He was such a chicken shit..." I said, now laughing harder. "Yeah. That's what made him so great. He never liked pain, but stood up to everyone," Piper said. I nodded, leaning my head on Piper's shoulder. "He was amazing...I miss him every day...I loved your brother, so much..." I told her. She looked at Matt for a second and then over at me. "I know you did, but he would have wanted you to move on, and you did. Zack seems nice," she told me. I smiled and nodded. "He is. He's good to me...you think Chris would like him?" I asked her. "Yeah, I do, and Zacky is fuckin adorable. He's cute as shit," she replied.

"He thinks the world of you...you're his favorite person in the world, I think. I love that kid...," I said, laughing, "who'd have ever thought I'd be a mom, huh?" Piper nodded. "I know, Miss I-Don't-Want-Kids! You got two gorgeous ones, and so do you," she said to me, then Matt, "All these kids are so fuckin' cute. You two need to get a move on." She pointed at Kale and Brian. Kale laughed and nodded. "Sure, Piper, I'll get right on that." he said, running a hand over his head. "You're funny," Brian said, looking up at us from Plague, who was cackling like a madman in his arms. "What? I guess I'm missing something. No shock there. I'm missing a lot of shit. Anyone else dead I need to know about? Mom,Dad, Prissy?" Piper asked.

"Mom, Daddy, and Prissy are on their way here now," I told her of her-our-family," oh and Prissy is married and has a kid." Piper rubbed her temples, sighing deeply. "Did everyone have kids except me?" she asked. I shook my head. "No, not everyone. Just me and Zack, and Matt has his two...but no one else." I replied. "And where's his baby mama?" Piper asked, referring to Matt. I looked at him and back at her. "Let's not worry about that right now, okay? Baby steps, ok? Like, first off, let's get you some food. You want pizza and chili?" I asked. "Fuck yes I do. Ugh...I could never be skinny. Although I'm still jealous of your figure, especially after two kids," she told me.

I grimaced. "The last one was hard to work off, and you shouldn't be jealous. You're gorgeous," I replied. "Thanks. When I snag a guy that looks like one of these that have been coming through here, then maybe I'll believe that. Personality doesnt always get you places," Piper said. "Oh please, your boyfriends were always hotter than mine," I told her, moving from the bed to the chair. "Bullshit! My brother was a fucking ten, and Zack is an eight or so. I've seen six doctors and three male nurses on top of these two and Zack is the second sexiest man to come through that door."

I smiled. "Chris was pretty sexy, wasn't he?" I replied. "Yes...not that I want to think of my brother like that," she said. "Are we really having girl talk right now?" Kale asked. Piper and I both looked up at him. "Shut up, Kale," we said in unison. "Who was the sexiest?" Brian asked. I looked up at him. "You did not just ask her that..." I said. He blinked at me. "Yeah..." he said slowly. "Why wouldn't he?" Piper asked. I shook my head and looked at her. "Do you think he's sexy?" I asked, motioning to Brian. Not that Brian wasn't good looking, he was, but neither of us had ever found him attractive. "You're gorgeous Brian...just...so...not my type. You're a ten...for some girls. Sorry," Piper said, shrugging. I smiled and looked back at Bri again. "And I'm sure she doesn't find her own brother 'sexy'...narrow it down, Gates...hey, Matteo...she thinks you're sexy!" I said to Matt, calling him by my pet name for him. "Shut up!" Piper said, reaching over and hitting me, her face a deep pink.

"Well, you do," I said, shrugging. "Thanks, Detta...I'm sorry," Piper said, looking at Matt. He half smiled and shrugged. I hadn't seen him smile in a long time. "You love me...so, you think Zack's an 8, huh?" I asked, smiling. She nodded. "Yes, your hubby's an 8," she said, leaning back in her bed. "I'm what? What did I miss?" Zack asked, walking back into the room. I smiled at the sight of my husband and oldest son. "She thinks you're the second sexiest man to walk in the door today," I told him. He smirked and kissed my forehead. "Thanks, Piper," he said. She nodded and looked back at me.

We spent the next hour or so talking and joking. The doctors gave the go-ahead for her to try to eat solid foods, so Zack, Brian, and Kale went out after pizza and chili. I was just ready for Piper to get out of the hospital. I was looking forward to her, Matt, and the kids coming to stay with us while she got better. I had missed my best friend. I needed her.

Zacky POV-2 MONTHS LATER

I dealt the cards around the table, sipping at my bottle of Jack. "Game is five-card draw, deuces are wild..." I said, licking my lips, looking at the girls, "deuces are twos ladies. So it's guys on girls, first one to full frontal loses, which leaves you ladies to an advantage, with that said, ante up." We all pushed our chips to the middle of the table and picked up our cards. Piper had a smirk across her face. We were fucked. My hand sucked and by the look on Matt's face, his did too. Damn it, I thought to myself. "Call 'em." Matt said, laying his cards down. Oh yeah, we were fucked. I didn't have shit, and all he had to our advantage was a pair of threes. "High five!" Piper said, leaning over and high fiving Detta. "Take 'em off boys." my wife said. I unbuttoned my shirt and tossed it to the floor, sitting back down in my chair. Matt still had on a wife-beater. Cheater, I thought. "That's not fair." Piper said, glaring at him. "How is it not fair?" he asked. She stood up and smirked, reaching across the table, a handful of shirt in her hand. "Because I said so." she told him, ripping it right down the middle. I took a drink of Jack and took the cards back, shuffling them again. Matt mumbled something under his breath that sounded like "That's my girl," as I dealt the cards out. "What?" Detta asked, looking up. He smiled and shook his head. "Nothing," he replied. I looked over at Matt's card. Full house. I smirked. The girls were losing this round.

Detta POV-

"Fuck!" I said aloud, standing up to peel my shirt off. The guys had won that round. Now, it was one and one, we were all shirtless in my kitchen. Zacky was smirking over at me as I sat back down. "Deal another round. This ain't over." I said, sliding my cards back to him. He shuffled them again and dealt another round. I looked over at Piper who looked at me sympathetically. We were losing again by the look on her face. Shit! The jeans were coming off next, and that was not a good thing. That only left two rounds for us to catch up. One more round and we were as good as naked. We all laid our cards down and I instantly stood up, undoing the button on my jeans, rolling them down my hips, stepping out of them. "You fucking suck." I told Zacky, grabbing his bottle of Jack and pouring some in my Coke before picking up my new cards. I discarded two and picked up two more. Fuck yes, a pair of aces, and three twos, we had this in the bag. I looked over at Piper and winked, fighting a smile. The guys were about to drop their pants. I silently wondered to myself if Zacky had remembered underwear that morning, and hoped he hadn't. Piper and I never lost, and we weren't going to start now. "We're totally gonna beat you, you know?" I said to Zacky, staring down at my cards. He chuckled and shook his head. "Doubtful." he replied. We laid our cards down and I threw my head back in laughter, downing the last of my Jack and Coke. "Pants off, love." I said. He glared at me but stood, taking his jeans off. Damn it, he had remembered underwear. I was hoping he hadn't been wearing any. "We're still gonna beat you." he told me. I shook my head, leaning across the table. "Baby, we're one up on you...first to full frontal, remember? You'd have to beat us twice for that...do the math, baby...you're about to lose...big time." I said, smiling. He dealt us what would surely be our final round. "Ohh...mmm...yep...you're about to get naked." I told my husband, laying my cards down. "Damn it." he whined, standing up. "Awww...you'll be okay. There's nothing to embarassed about! Except the fact that you're getting naked...in our kitchen...because you two just lost at strip poker...to us girls." I teased him, licking my lips. "You wanna go settle this?" he asked. "Settle this? Baby, there is nothing to settle! We won, fair and square." I replied. He shook his head. "This was hardly fair." he said. I leaned across the table again. "Zacky...you dealt the cards. How was it not fair?" I asked. He looked down at my chest and back up into my eyes. I smirked and shook my head, picking my shirt and jeans up off the floor, heading upstairs. Zacky followed closely behind, clothes covering him. "Thank you!" Matt yelled sarcastically. "You're welcome!" I replied, climbing the stairs.

Zacky POV-

I shut the bedroom door behind me and locked it, dropping my clothes on the floor. I walked up behind my wife, who was pulling a pair of my boxers on over her own underwear. "Detta..." I said quietly. "Hmm?" she replied, pulling her bra off, tossing it into the pile of dirty clothes. "You know I was just messing with you down there, right?" I said. She turned around and smiled at me, a hand on my chest. "I know, and I was just fucking with you. It's okay. All is fair in love, war, and poker," she replied, smiling. "So..." I said, unmoving. "Yes?" she answered, looking up at me. "Nothing..." I said, shaking my head, turning away to grab my clothes. She pulled me back to her by the wrist and pressed her lips to mine. "I love you," she told me. "I love you...what was that for?" I asked, interlacing my fingers with hers. "Just because I can. I'm gonna go check on the kids. I'll be back," she said. I watched her as she disappeared down the hall to the nursery to check on Plague, Rev, and Shadow. Part of me wondered what it would be like if she hadn't lost our baby a couple months prior. She'd be nearing the halfway point of her pregnancy by then. I tried not to think about it much, but sometimes I just couldn't help it. That was our child. I pulled my pajama pants on and laid down, trying to clear my head. "Daddy, can I sleep with you and Mommy?" my oldest son's voice came from the doorway. "Did you have a bad dream?" I asked him, patting the bed. He nodded, dragging his deathbat blanket behind him, climbing up into the bed with me. "Where's Mommy?" he asked. "She went to check on all the babies." I answered, scooting toward the middle of the bed. "Oh. Okay. Night-night, Daddy." Zacky said, closing his eyes. "Goodnight, Little Man." I said, reaching over and turning out the lamp. Detta climbed in bed behind me a few moments later, kissing my cheek. "Looks like we have company." she said. I turned over to face her. "Yeah, he said he had a bad dream. I'll move him in a few minutes," I replied. She snuggled up close to me, wrapping her arms around my waist. "I love that I'm getting to re-live some old memories with Piper and all, but I hope she gets back to normal soon. I kinda miss her normal side," she said. I missed Piper, too. She just hadn't been herself for months, and the doctors said she might never go back to normal. I hoped they were wrong, though, for the sake of Matt, Baby Rev, Shadow, and Piper herself.

Detta POV-

I fell asleep in Zack's arms, my mind weighing heavily on my best friend and what all she was going through. The past four months had been torture, and while I was enjoying taking a cruise down memory lane, I missed being able to talk to her about our men, and our babies. We talked, but not about the things I needed to talk to someone about. I had so much built up inside of me that I needed to let out. I talked to Zack, but sometimes I just needed to vent to Piper. It was almost like she wasn't there.

"Detta...babe..." Zack's voice came, shaking me from my slumber. I looked up at him sleepily. "What?" I replied, squinting over at the clock. "I think you should go talk to Piper...she knocked on the door a few minutes ago and wanted to talk to you...she told me not to wake you but she seemed pretty upset." he said. I nodded and rolled out of bed, kissing his lips softly before leaving the room to find my best friend. I noticed a shadow on the wall as I walked by the nursery. I peeked in, and there was Piper, standing over Shadow's crib. She seemed to spend a lot of time in there. "So what happened?" I asked, sitting in the rocker next to Plague's crib. He was sleeping soundly, a smile on his lips. "I fucked Matt." Piper said bluntly. I looked up at her, now fully awake. "What?" I replied. "Yeah, and then he left." she answered. He left? That was weird. "Did you do it right?" I asked. Not that there was a wrong way to do it, but in the state of mind Piper was in, she was still a virgin. Piper sat down on the foot stool in front of me. "Yes I did it right." she said.

"I was just wondering. Well, what did he say before he left?" I asked. "Nothing. He just sat me down on the counter and left. I don't know what I did." she answered. That wasn't like Matt at all. He wasn't that kind of guy. "That doesn't sound like Matt." I told her. Piper's gaze moved from me to her son, who was sleeping close-by. "I wouldn't know. Detta, it just felt right. It felt like I was supposed to be with him. I don't know what came over me. " she said, shaking her head. "I'm not a virgin," she added, "But you already knew that didn't you. I don't know who I lost it to, I know it was someone strong and muscular though."

I was a bit surprised she remembered losing her virginity to Matt. "You remembered that?" I asked her. "Yeah, right before me and Matt had sex. I know I'm missing something Detta, and I know I don't want you to tell me anything about my past, I wanted time to work it out on my own, but he frustrates me so much. I feel like I'm supposed to be with him, so tell me this, am I dumb for trying to be around him?" she asked sadly. "I'll go talk to him," I said, standing up and walking toward the door. I stopped when I got there and turned around. "And no, Piper, you aren't dumb for feeling like you're supposed to be with Matt." I added.

I opened the door to Matt's bedroom and found him staring at the wall. "What do you want Detta?" he asked, glaring at me. I'm sure he had been expecting Piper. "So let me get this straight, you fucked Piper, and then just left her. Why would you do that Matt?" I asked, folding my arms across my chest. "I shouldn't have done it Detta. She doesn't even know who I am. I just fucked her, angrily, like I would have someone I cared nothing about, not like the love of my life. I can't even look at myself let alone at her," he replied quietly. "She thinks she did something wrong Matt, that she is crazy for chasing after you! You're supposed to be encouraging her to…I don't know, be spontaneous. She's supposed to want to fuck you Matt, she's your wife. Did you ever think sex may help her remember that?" I said angrily. I loved Matt, but he wasn't helping Piper any by running away from her, avoiding her. "I get what you're saying, really I do, but with the connection me and her had through sex…fucking her like I just did…" he shook his head. "It didn't feel right. She wasn't my wife Detta; she was a girl who knows nothing about me, nothing about our children, and nothing about anything that has happened between us. I want her back so bad Detta." he replied, his voice shaking. Oh God, please, Matt, please don't cry, I thought. I felt awful for bringing him to the point that he even sounded like he was going to. "You're fucking crazy Matt. You need to talk to her," I said, pointing down the hallway, "Ask her why she was so hell bent on having sex with you. Ask her what she remembers, because she remembers bits and pieces."

I left Matt alone and headed back to the bedroom to climb in bed with my son and husband. Zack was sitting up, watching TV, now alone. "Where's little man?" I asked, crawling up onto the bed and laying my head in his lap. "I put him back in his own bed. Is everything okay?" he asked. "Yeah...everything will be fine," I replied as a streak of lightning lit up the sky outside. "Looks like it's gonna storm." Zacky said. "Yep...meaning either one of the kids or Piper will probably be in bed with us soon." I replied. Since Piper's accident, she had become scared of storms again. "You really think Piper's gonna come get in bed with us?" Zacky asked. "She did a couple weeks ago. You don't remember?" I replied. He shook his head. "She did. It was you, me, and Piper, all in this bed." I told him. He chuckled and turned off the TV. "Let's go back to sleep." he said. I readjusted myself to where I was laying the right way, snuggled up to Zacky and closed my eyes just as a clap of thunder shook the house, waking one of the babies from their sleep. I knew that cry. It was undoubtedly Shadow. She was scared of the storms, just like Piper. I got up and walked out of the bedroom toward the nursery, but Matt held up a hand to me. "I got her. Let me," he said. Most of the time, I let him sleep, and I took care of the babies. It was hectic, and stressful, but I didn't mind. Piper needed me, and I was going to be there for her no matter what. I held my hands up and went back to bed, allowing the storm to put me to sleep.

The next day, Piper and I were sitting around bored out of our minds, me already buzzed like a hornet when she suggested we go to the bar. "Fuck yeah, let's do it," I replied, standing up. "What about the guys and the kids?" she asked. "Piper...it's after midnight, the kids are asleep and Zack and Matt can take care of them...let's go!" I said, pulling her up off the couch.

We both dressed quickly and fixed our makeup. I felt like a teenager again. I took two more shots of Jack before we left the house. I'd been drinking a lot since my miscarriage and Piper's accident. It made me forget my pain, just like cutting did. I hadn't been cutting as often, though. The alcohol thinned my blood out and I was scared of bleeding to death. "We should go to that bar we always used to sneak into when we were seventeen," I suggested, buckling my seatbelt as Piper started the car. "Yeah...but guess what, we don't need fake ID's anymore!" she replied, giggling. "Haha...Piper...I love you, and I know you don't remember this, but we haven't needed fake ID's in a long time, babe...we're getting really fucking close to thirty. Oh God...thirty..." I replied, putting in my Waking The Fallen CD and turning it up. "You always loved this song," Piper yelled at me as "Unholy Confessions" started playing. "It's my favorite!" I said. We both sang along. I was surprised she remembered the words.

We got to the bar and showed our ID's, got our wristbands and headed straight for the bar. "I'll take a tequila sunrise, and whatever she wants," Piper told the bartender. "You wanna pay now or start a tab?" he asked her. She looked at me and shrugged. "Just start a tab, we'll be drinking a lot more," I told her. "Go ahead and start us a tab then," she told him. He nodded and handed Piper her drink, then fixed mine. We drank and talked and danced until our inhibitions were gone. I was sitting down, trying not to fall over in my drunken stupor when I saw Zack and Matt walk in. "Oh fuck...the guys are here," I said, standing up to go find Piper. I bumped into some random guy and spilled half my drink on him. "Sorry dude," I said, pushing past him. Piper was sitting at a table, her head down, drink in hand. "Piper...we gotta go, Matt and Zack are here," I slurred, pulling on her arm. "Fuck...we're in so much trouble," she replied, standing up. She stumbled into me, knocking me into a human wall behind me. "Hello ladies," Matt said, standing me back up and walking around me to get Piper. "Oh fuck...they found us," I mumbled. "Yeah, we did, now let's go," Zack said, grabbing me by the elbow. I turned around and stood on my tiptoes to kiss him. "Hey baby!" I said. He turned his head and shook his head. "No, Detta, let's go home," he replied.

"You are no fucking fun," I told him, pulling him by the hand out onto the dance floor. "You're drunk, Detta. Let's go home. Fun's over," he replied. "I'm not drunk!" I told him, laughing. "Then what are you?" he asked. "Not drunk," I repeated. "How do I know when you're drunk then, Detta?" Zack said. "Umm...I don't know. I'm not drunk though," I told him as Scream came on. "OH MY GOD! MY JAM!" Piper screamed. She climbed on the table she had been sitting at and then onto the elevated floor with the pole that was behind it. "Piper, get down," Matt said, climbing on the table. "No!" she replied, grabbing the pole. "Woooooooo! WORK IT PIPER!" I yelled at her. "Oh Jesus Christ," Zack said, grabbing my hand, still trying to get me to leave. "I taught her that, you know," I told him, pulling him back to me. I started dancing on him to distract him. "I'm sure you did. Let's go," he said. "I want another drink," I told him. "God...damn it, Vendetta, no. You've had enough to fucking drink," he replied. I glared at him for a second before my stomach and throat started burning. Before I knew it, I was doubled over, throwing up everything I'd drank that night, all over Zack's expensive shoes.

"Okay, you know what, it's time to go," he said, pulling my hair out of my face and helping me stand up. "We can go, just as soon as I get some water to get this taste out of my mouth," I said, still slurring my words. "Fine," Zack replied, still holding tightly to my arms. He walked me to the bar and got me a water. "Can you let go of me?" I asked him. He looked at me for a moment before letting go. Just as he did, Porn Star Dancing came on. I threw my head back in laughter as I remembered the first night I ever went down on him. Suddenly, I felt like dancing.

Zacky POV-

Detta climbed up on the bar when I let go of her arms. "Detta, get down," I said, slowly walking toward her so I wouldn't fall. My shoes were still slick, covered in her vomit and God only knows what else was on that floor. "No...this is my jam," she said, standing up. The bar was soaking wet and she was completely uncoordinated, incoherent, and so drunk she was delusional. "Detta...get down before you get hurt." I said, holding my hand out to her. She pulled on my hand, trying me to pull my up on the bar with her. "Come dance with me." she said, slurring her words. "No, Detta. It's time to go home." I told her. "Oh you're no fun." she replied, still holding my hand. "Vendetta...let's go."

She leaned down, her hair falling down around her face and onto me. "I'm not leaving yet. You're ruining my fun..." she said. "Detta, you're being ridiculous. Let's go home. Now." I said. She stood back up, flipping her hair back, stumbling a bit when she did. "Oh shit..." she said, doubling over and laughing. "Get down, Detta." I said again. "Did you see that? I almost fell on my ass." she said, still laughing. "Yes, I did, and I don't think it's funny. You could seriously get hurt." I replied. I was getting frustrated, and I wasn't going to stick around and watch her make a fool out of herself much longer. She'd find her way home. I hated myself for questioning whether or not I'd be there when she returned, but I just couldn't let the kids be exposed to her drunkeness for much longer. Zacky was already asking questions, and though I knew Plague really didn't understand what was going on, I didn't want him seeing Detta like that. "I don't know why you're still standing there. I'm not leaving." Detta yelled at me over the music. "Fine," I said, throwing up my hands, "I'll see you at home, whenever you come home." I turned and walked toward the exit, pushing through crowds of people. I literally had my hand on the door when I heard a scream followed by a loud crash. My heart sank and I bolted for the bar. I knew what had happened. "Move!" I yelled, pushing past people. Matt and Piper were pushing through the crowd on the other side. "Get out of the way!" I said, pushing some girl and guy who were making out to the side.

I don't know how exactly I got over the bar, but I did. Detta was laying there, eyes closed, broken glasses and bottles around her, unmoving. "Call an ambulance..." I said to the bartender, sinking to my knees beside my wife. "Detta...Baby..." I said, pushing her hair from her face. She didn't respond. Her eyes didn't open. She just laid there. "Is she okay?" Matt asked from above me. "I don't know. Did someone call an ambulance?" I replied. I could feel my voice shaking in my throat. I was terrified, I didn't know if she was okay or not. "You need to push her onto her side in case she pukes again...that way she doesn't choke on it." the bartender said. "She hit her head you dumbass. She could've hurt her neck. He doesn't need to move her." Matt yelled at him. "Well, I'm just saying...if she vomits while she's knocked out and she's laid on her back, she'll choke. Just hold her head and I'll help you turn her body." the bartender said. "Whatever dude, just be fucking careful." I snapped, moving up and holding Detta's head in my hands. Her black hair was soaking wet, probably from all the alcohol that was on the floor, combined with the sweat that was pouring down her body. The bartender helped me turn her over as sirens grew closer. I hadn't even noticed until then that the music had been turned off.

The EMT's came behind the bar, pulling a stretcher. I stood up, backing off so they could load her onto it, but I didn't go far. I wasn't leaving her side. Piper and Matt both laid a hand each on my shoulders. "It's gonna be okay, dude. She's gonna be fine." Matt said. I nodded, breaking away from them as the EMT's wheeled the stretcher from behind the bar, one of them holding a bag of fluids above her, a bag with an oxygen tank at her side. I climbed into the back of the ambulance, grabbing her hand as the two EMT's in the back shut the doors and started talking. It wasn't until I looked down at our hands that I realized there was blood covering my hands. "She's bleeding." I said, looking up at the EMT's. The entire top half of the stretcher was now soaked in bright red blood. They checked her head. It was gashed pretty bad, they said, holding gauze on the wound, applying pressure to stop the bleeding. She opened her eyes as they pulled her stretcher out of the ambulance. "Ow...Zack...what happened?" she said, looking up at me. "You fell off the bar..." I said. "At the club?" she asked me. I nodded, swallowing back tears. "Yeah...at the bar." I replied.

"Fuck...my head really hurts." she said, reaching up to touch it. I grabbed her wrist. "Uh...don't do that." I told her. "Why not? It really hurts." she said, reaching up with the other hand. That hand didn't make it very far before the IV started pulling at her skin. "What the fuck." she mumbled. "Detta...be still." I told her. "No...I wanna fucking go home." she said, trying to sit up. "Detta! Stop!" I said, pinning her hands down by her side. "Zack, let go of me!" she said, wiggling. "No, I'm not going to let you hurt yourself worse." I replied as the doctor came in. "She keeps trying to get up." I told him as he gave me a questioning look. I knew it couldn't look good with me restraining her after she'd just taken a fall and busted her head open. He nodded and pulled a stool up behind the stretcher, pulling a light down to look at Detta's head. "Well, looks like you're going to need a few stitches, Mrs. Baker...I'm going to numb your head with an anesthetic, stitch you up, and send you for a CAT scan to make sure everything's okay and there's no internal bleeding, okay?"

I held Detta's hand while they stitched her head up and sat down next to Piper, who was sobering up, and Matt, who was zoned out, listening to his iPod, while Detta went upstairs for her CAT scan. "Talk to me," Piper said. I sighed, looking up at her. She was staring at me, a cup of steaming coffee in her hand. "I'm just worried about Detta...she's drinking way too much way too often." I told her. She nodded, sipping her coffee. "Yeah, things have gotten pretty bad. Have you tried telling her that?" she asked. I shook my head. "No, it's not like it would do any good. She wouldn't remember it if I did." I said.

Piper looked at me sympathetically. "True. You want me to try?" she asked. "Maybe...I don't know. I just know I can't handle this much longer. Zacky's asking questions, and she's missing out on important things with Plague...he started walking the other day and she was passed out, she missed it." I replied. "It's tough as fuck. I hate that she's missing stuff, so how about I try. What's the worst that could happen?" Piper offered once again. If it would help Detta stop drinking, I was all for it. I just wanted my wife back to normal. "If you wanna try, go for it. I'm at my wit's end. If she keeps this up, I'm gonna have to do something...get the kids away from her and leave, or kick her out...which I hate to do...but I just can't have my boys exposed to this. It's not fair to them." I said, running my hands over my head.

"Zacky...she loves you and she loves those kids. But I think there is just something that is driving her to do this...I wish I knew what, but if I understand things...she has no where to go if you kick her out Zack. She can change I know that, she doesnt have an addictive personality. Something has got to be seriously wrong if she's drinking this bad." Piper said. "I hope you're right, Piper...because something's gotta give."

She laid a hand on my forearm. "Have you tried talking to someone else,Zack? I mean like a close friend or something, it can't be good on you to keep everything inside..." she asked. "Um, no, not exactly...been too busy taking care of her and the kids...and Matt...he's uh...busy taking care of his kids...Brian wouldn't understand...and Johnny..." I said, shrugging. Piper nodded, sipping her coffee. "Yeah, Johnny seems sweet, but a little on the innocent side. Brian is a nice guy, but single and a player, so I get that too. You need some female friends." she told me. I couldn't help but laugh. I knew she didn't remember, but besides Detta, she was my best female friend. " I have two pretty amazing ones...but uh, one's Detta, and the other is...I haven't really talked to her in a while." I told her.

"You should call her. she could probably help more than I ever could." Piper answered. I smiled over at her. "Trust me, I would if I could...but she's um...she's a lot like you." I said. Piper smiled, uncrossing and re-crossing her legs. "She must be gorgeous, and smart, and talented too, then." she said. "She is, very...and an all-around amazing person." I replied, nodding. "Well, if you ever get in touch with her I think I'd like to meet her." Piper told me. "I think it would be really cool if you could meet her...maybe some day...but first, she has to get in touch with herself..."

"Does she have problems too?" she asked me. "Problems? I guess you could say that, but it's really not her fault. She'll be okay, though. I have faith in her..." I replied. She had no idea I was talking about her. "She's lucky to have someone who believes in her as much as you." Piper replied. I licked my my lips and sighed. Sometimes I just felt like crying for her. I could only imagine what it was like to not know anything or anyone. "You think so?" I replied.

"Hell yeah. Detta's lucky too. You're a hell of a catch. And not too bad on the eyes. You're not my type but you are Detta's." she told me. "Yeah? Thanks, Piper...I really love Detta...I guess that's why it's so hard seeing her like this..." I said. "I can see that. I'll talk to her, dont know how much good it'll do, but I'll try."

"Thanks Piper," I said, as the doors opened and the doctor pushed Detta out, sitting in a wheelchair, giggling, staring at the ceiling, "and there's my lovely, insane wife...God love her..." I said, standing up. "She's not insane." Piper defended. Matt pulled off his headphones and laughed slightly. "Yes, she is." he said.

Detta POV-

"I'm not insane, I'm not insaaaaneee...hahahaha...they did call me Almost Easy Vendetta Holmes back in the day..." I said to Piper as the doctor stopped my wheelchair. My head really hurt, but thankfully that pain medicine was starting to work. "Well, at least she remembers high school." Piper said. "I remember lots of things...just not the past few hours" I told her.

Zacky got up and walked off to talk to the doctor. "Where you going you sexy fuck?" I yelled over my shoulder. "Detta, keep your voice down! We're in the hospital." Piper said, her voice a harsh whisper. "My bad...what are you doing here?" I asked, turning back around. "You got drunk as fuck and fell off of the bar." Matt told me. "So I've heard..." I told him, rolling my eyes. "You busted your head open and here you are. That's what happened." he said. I got that much. He didn't need to reiterate.

"Yeah...my head hurts." I said. Piper rolled her eyes. "Gee, I wonder why!" she said sarcastically. "I don't know, but I do know those shots of Patron were great...weren't they, Piper?" I said, laughing. Laughing made my head hurt. No more laughing. "Now I wish I could remember." Piper said, rubbing her head, staring at Matt. "We should do it again tomorrow!" I suggested. "No, we shouldn't, because after tonight, I'm not drinking anymore, and you shouldn't be either...especially with your pain medication. It could kill you, mixing the two."

Matt put his headphones back on and looked away, silent. Even in my clouded mind, I knew who he was thinking of. "So, I won't take my medicine." I said. "You have to take your fucking medicine, your head got gashed open, Detta! It's like five inches long." Piper told me. "It's not that big." I said, touching the stitched up wound. It was a lot bigger than I thought at first. "Yes it is! Now quit being stupid. You're not just having fun anymore, you're playing with your life, Vendetta." she said, folding her arms across her chest.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?" I snapped. "I don't want to watch my best friend drink herself into a fucking coma or worse. Where are your kids Detta? You don't fucking know, because you're too drunk all the time! Give it up!" Piper said. "My kids are too young to understand what's going on. I'm just having fun...lighten up, Piper. I'm gonna be fine." I replied. She was being ridiculous. "You fell off of a fucking bar, gashed your head open, and your son...is 6 and can understand just fine. He knows what's going on and you're scaring him. You're scaring us all." Piper said. "You're just being a bitch...so what I busted my head open? It's not the first time I've gotten stitches, Piper. Me and you used to get into shit all the time...how is this any different?" I demanded.

"You weren't a mother of two when we got into shit. Or married. And I was...I don't know...I don't remember. You're on a path that is going to lead you to a really really bad place Detta. I can't lose you too." she replied. I rolled my eyes and shook my head. "Whatever." I said, trying to get up and walk away. I stumbled though, falling into Zack, who had luckily just walked up. "You see what I mean. You're being stupid. Just stay down. Or are you trying to get yourself killed?" Piper said, tears welling up in her eyes. I grabbed onto Zacky for more support. "Shut up, Piper. You're the one being stupid. I'm grown. I can take care of myself." I said. I wasn't drunk anymore. My buzz was completely gone. I was just pissed off, in pain, and exhausted. I wanted to go home and go to bed.

"Obviously not. Listen, Detta, it's your life, but I'm not going to be a part of your stupidity. Until you fix things, there is no more us." Piper said, walking away. "Fine with me. Let's go, Zack." I said, taking my husband's hand. Matt chased after Piper, leaving us alone. "They said you don't need to go to sleep for a while because you have a mild concussion." he told me, motioning to the wheelchair. "I can walk." I said, shaking my head. "Detta, sit down. I'll wheel you out there and pull the car up. I'd feel more comfortable if you'd just sit down and relax." he told me. I rolled my eyes and sat down, letting him push me to the exit. We were silent the entire way home. I slept a lot for the next few days, oblivious to the outside world.

I only had ten pain pills, and I was taking two a day. On the fifth day, I woke up with a splitting headache, no pun intended, and unfortunately, Zack and Matt were out with the kids, and Brian and Johnny never replied to my texts. I only had one option, and she wasn't talking to me. It was worth a try, though. I raised my hand to knock on Piper's door. "Come in," she called. "Can you take me to the store? I need to get my prescription refilled and I can't drive with my head hurting like this. I've already texted Johnny and Brian and neither of them answered." I plead. She looked up from the book she was reading. "Yeah, I need some shit, too." she answered.

"Thanks." I replied. Piper dressed and we rode to the drug store in silence. I handed in my prescription and grabbed a bottle of wine on the way to look for Piper. I hadn't had a drink since the night I fell off the bar. Maybe it would help my headache better than the medicine had been. I found Piper standing in the middle of the aisle, staring at the condoms and pregnancy tests. "Can I ask you something?" she asked, not looking up. "Sure thing." I replied. "Which kind of pregnancy test is the best? I mean which kind did you use?" she asked.

My eyes grew wide and I pulled off my sunglasses. I pointed to the one I always used. "That one, why?" I asked. "Cause I need it." she replied, reaching out for the box. "You...why? Are you? Piper..." I stuttered, sitting the wine on the shelf, walking to stand beside her. "I don't know yet. I think so. Shit. I'm so fucked...a married fucking man." she said, rubbing her face. "You're not fucked, Piper...um...do you want me to stay with you while you...while you find out?" I offered. Piper nodded. "Yeah. I don't know what the fuck to do. I'm so scared, Detta." she told me, her voice shaking. "I know, Piper. I've been there. Everything will be okay, I promise. Let's go." I said, my hand on her elbow, turning to leave.

"Are you getting that?" she asked, pointing to the bottle of wine. "No, I don't think so." I replied, shaking my head. "Good, it's not good for you." she told me. "Yeah, no kidding..." I replied. "Detta...what if I am pregnant. Matt's married, why would he want a baby? He loves his wife." Piper said, staring down at the pregnancy test. "I'm sure everything is fine. Your periods are irregular anyway. You're probably just skipping one. That always used to happen to you, ever since we were young." I said, trying to comfort her. "Not since I woke up in the hospital. It's been on a perfect schedule." she said, shaking her head.

"Well, um...if you are, you can tell Matt. I'll stay with you when you do if you want. I'm sure he won't be too mad. If he gets mad, then he's stupid, because it'll be just as much his responsibility as yours. He got you pregnant...if you are pregnant." I said. "That's not the point, Detta. I pressured him. Both times we fucked, I convinced him to. He's married, he already has two kids, and I've called him a rapist and everything else. I don't know why he would want a baby that came from me." she said. "Why don't we worry about that later? Let's just um...let's find out if you are, first and foremost, okay?" I told her, rubbing her arm. Piper nodded timidly as we approached the counter.

"You want me to get that?" I asked her. She shook her head, laying it down. "I got it." she replied. "You sure? I'll get it." I asked again. "It's...it's okay. It'll be okay. It will be okay, right?" she asked, looking over at me. "Everything will be fine. I promise." I assured her. "I hope you're right." Piper answered. "Have I ever lied to you before?" I asked as we walked back outside and headed for the car. "Nine years missing, remember?" Piper said, opening the car door. "What you can remember, though, have I ever lied to you?" I asked, sitting down, taking one of my pain pills out and opening my bottle of water. "No." Piper replied. I smiled and put my sunglasses back on my face. "See!" I said, lightly smacking her leg. "Oddly...not comforting." she said. "Not much is when you're panicking, thinking you're pregnant, afraid of what the daddy's gonna think. You feel like you just wanna run away and never look back, huh?" I said.

"That's exactly it. I'm terrified Detta. I can't be pregnant." Piper replied. "I know the feeling...that's how I was when I found out I was pregnant with Plague. I bolted and ran away...I thought Zacky would hate me...he was married at the time, too...but that's a story for later." I replied. "You had an affair with a married man?" Piper asked, her eyes wide. "He was in the process of a divorce. We met, fell in love, and became intimate really fast...he was my first relationship after..." I stopped. I couldn't say it. "Chris?" Piper finished. "Yeah, after Chris..." I replied, looking down at my hands.

"But Detta, Zacky was getting divorced, Matt isnt. He's waiting on his wife to come back, he still loves her, how can he possibly love me or this baby...if there is a baby." Piper said. "Piper, I had a baby by another man when I met Zacky...he didn't believe in marriage, nor did he want kids when we met. I knew that before I ever met him...and I think a part of him still loved her...so I ran. How can Matt not love you, or the baby if there is one is the real question...Matt's not capable of hatred, except toward anyone who hurts someone he loves."

"But he doesnt love me," Piper protested. "Matt does love you," I said. "Sure, in my dreams, Matt loves me," she scoffed. "I promise, everything will be fine. First things first, though, okay? Let's get inside and find out..." I said, opening my car door. The guys still weren't back. We went inside and into the bathroom downstairs, shutting the door behind us. I sat up on the counter, texting Daisy while Piper took the test. "Detta? What do I do?" she asked me, holding the directions in her hand. I forgot that she didn't remember how to take a pregnancy test. I, however, was experienced in the art of peeing on a stick. "You pee on the stick. That part," I replied, leaning over and pointing to the capped part of the test. Piper nodded, uncapping the test. "This is going to be the longest three minutes of my life," she said. "Yeah, I know. I've been there, remember?" I replied, turning back to my phone.

"I'll never know how you did this," Piper told me. "What, pee on a stick?" I asked, looking up. "No, dealt with being pregnant, especially by yourself," she answered, recapping the test and laying it on the counter. "I was never alone, except for the first month or so after I found out I was pregnant with Plague. I always had you, with Zacky, and you, Matt, and Zack with Plague," I told her. "I'm glad I was there for you. I wish I could remember it. Maybe it would help me," she replied. "I cried a lot. You always made me laugh when I'd have a little breakdown," I told her. "I don't even know how to smile right now. Oh God...if I am...the other night...I got...I don't even remember how much I drank," she said, a palm pressed to her forehead. "It'll be okay...the baby will be fine. I was two months before I found out I was pregnant with Zacky...and we drank...a lot...all the time..." I told her.

"We seemed to have had a relapse recently. I'm never drinking again," she said."Yeah, I think I'm gonna give it up, too...I had this weird dream the other night, I guess it was the pain meds...but you were lecturing me about it...and you brought up my boys...and that made me realize how much I'm risking..." I replied. "That uh...that really happened. You called me some names, and we fought, which is kinda why I've been avoiding you. On top of the sickness and shit," she told me. "Oh. I'm sorry. I really, really am," I said, looking up at her. "It had been a rough day. Looking back, it feels completely stupid," she answered. "Well, I know I had to of been fucked up. We never, ever fight. Like I said, I'm sorry," I apologized once more.

"It's okay, seriously. As long as you know the drinking got really dangerous." she told me, shaking her head. "Yeah, I do." I replied, rubbing my head. "I missed you, Detta." Piper told me as the test beeped. "You wanna look or do you want me to?" I asked. "I got it." Piper said, picking it up. She took a deep breath and looked down at the test, immediately bursting into tears. I took her into my arms and held her tightly as she cried, a few tears streaking my cheeks as well. "What am I gonna do?" Piper asked through her sobs. "Don't worry, Piper," I whispered, rubbing her back. "How can I not worry, Detta? I'm pregnant. I don't know how to be a mother," she told me, still crying. "I can help you, Piper...and I didn't either...though I haven't been a very good one lately, it's just something that comes to you...you know how, you just don't know that you know..." I explained.

"How do I tell Matt?" she asked, wiping her face on the back of her hand. "That I don't know, but I'm willing to help you figure it out," I offered. "Okay," she replied, nodding, "he needs to know eventually." I wiped her tears from her face with my thumbs. "He'll know, eventually. But, you tell him when you're ready," I told her. "I'll never be ready for that. I always wanted to wait til marriage, or at least until I was sure I was with the love of my life. I don't even know who I left behind in those 9 years. I just fucked him, on a whim. I dont even remember who I lost my fucking virginity to. There's so much I don't know, and I'm not sure if I want to," she answered.

"I wish I could tell you I understand, but I don't...but I am here for you, like I've told you a million times..." I told her. "I just wish I knew what I was to Matt before all this shit, and that I wasn't so damn impulsive." she replied. "I could tell you...but I know you won't let me." I said. "No but you could give me some minor details, hope it brings something back..." she suggested. "Well, I know who you lost your virginity to..." I said. "Who? Wait, no, don't tell me." she said, leaning against the wall.

"Do you remember anything about it?" I asked. "I remember he was strong, had very muscular arms, and he was sleeved. He had really beautiful tattoos." she answered. "Do you remember where it was?" I asked her. Piper shook her head slowly. "No, I know it was in a bed, but that's it." she said. I laughed. "I know, I could give you a few hints." I offered. "That technically does not qualify as you telling me. Okay, gimme hints." she said. "Well, it was really, really sweet. I didn't think so at first, but it was," I told her.

Piper laughed lightly. "That helps none. I take it that it wasn't like...somewhere special, then?" she replied. "Not to the average person, no. I know that you would never, ever regret it," I said. "That's good to know. At least it just wasn't on a whim," she answered. "No, not on a whim...umm...you loved the guy, a lot. For a really, really long time." I said. That wasn't a lie, she loved Matt long before they wound up together. "Well I know he wasn't my high school sweetheart, I remember high school...vividly. Like how long?" she replied.

"From the time you were...seventeen or so," I said. There was no way around that question. "The only person I can think of then is M...but he's out of my league, besides, he was with Val. He loved Val," she told me. I nodded. "Yeah, he did...once upon a time," I said. "So they aren't together anymore? She's not his wife?" Piper asked. "No, they broke up...few years back...I don't think their marriage was ever legit, though," I said. "And what about this one? Is it legit? Does he love her?" Piper asked. "Oh, yeah, it's legit...and he definitely loves her."

"I'm proud for him. I never really cared much for Val," Piper said. I laughed. "Me either. But anyway, you want more hints? Anything coming back to you?" I asked. "Yes, and no. Ugh! I hate my fucking memory! Why can't I just remember the guy or something?" Piper said, tossing the pregnancy test and box into the bag from the drug store and tying it up. "He's a good guy...very sweet, caring...tall, muscular...great smile...amazing tattoo work...great ass...really, really nice ass." I said. It was no secret that I thought Matt had the greatest ass ever. Piper giggled and blushed a bit. "You basically just described Matt," she said.

Her face went pale and she stumbled into me, grabbing onto my wrists. I knew that look. She was having another flashback. A few moments later, she snapped out of it. "You okay?" I asked, pushing her hair out of her eyes. "Oh my God," she whispered, her hand over her mouth. "Piper..." I said slowly. "You...you did," she whispered. "I did describe Matt, yes," I answered. "So he...he was...my..." she stammered. "Your first? Yes." I replied. "How did I forget that? Why didn't I remember that?" she said. "You forgot a lot of things, honey. You didn't forget completely, you just couldn't see his face. You saw other things about it right?" I said. "I saw his arms, Detta, and blood on me, I never saw his face, or heard his voice. Is that why I'm so drawn to him? Because we were close?" she asked. "Yeah, I guess that would be why."

"I can't believe I lost my virginity to Matt," she said. "Remember that time when Chris asked you if you were saving yourself for M. Shadows?" I said after a few seconds. I couldn't help but laugh. Piper blushed. "Kinda ironic now, I guess I was." she answered. "You know he's up there, laughing his ass off at both of us, right?" I said. "Yeah, and glaring at Matt." she answered. "Maybe slightly, but Matt's a good guy. I think he'd like him." I said. Somehow, with Piper, it was easy to talk about Chris. "Except for the whole cheating thing, you know Chris would never condone that. As for a father...I think he's got good daddy down already." Piper replied. "Yeah, Matt is an amazing daddy." I agreed.

"I hope he wanted another." Piper said. "Matt could have a million kids and he'd still want another. I promise, everything will be fine." I told her. "I want a boy... random I know, but I do." she said. "Boys are great. I love mine...but if I ever have another, I want a girl." I replied. "My mind has never changed...I still want four boys, and one girl." she said. "You're insane...five kids. I want one more, but I dunno if that'll ever happen. I can only hope..." I said. "Why only hope?" Piper asked. "I don't know if Zack wants another baby...I got pregnant a while back, but we lost it..it was really rough." I told her. "When was that? What happened?" she asked. I blinked back tears as I recalled my miscarriage...the main thing that had caused me to start cutting again, that had caused me to start drinking away my pain...

"Few months back..before I started drinking like I have been. I had a miscarriage. I went for my first appointment, and they just couldn't find a heartbeat. I had to have surgery and everything. It sucked really bad," I said. "I'm sorry I wasn't there with you, honey." Piper apologized. "It's okay. I know you would have been if you could've." I replied. "My 'accident' caused so much trouble." Piper said. I shook my head. "No, it sucks because you can't remember some stuff...and you got really banged up and all...but it hasn't caused any trouble." I told her. "You call repetitive drunkeness, fucking Matt, and making a sex tape no trouble? What's a troublesome week like?" she asked me, opening the bathroom door. We walked out into the living room and sat on the couch. "Me and you, in the back of a cop car, trying to figure out an alibi to give your parents..." I said.

Piper laughed. "Yeah, we didn't relive that one. Matt and Zack showed up before the cops did this time." she said. "Thank God. They're amazing guys." I said. "Yeah, you got a good one, Detta." Piper told me. The door opened and Little Zacky ran up the stairs, followed by a toddling Rev, and Matt and Zack, who were carrying the two youngest kids, who were both asleep. I don't think they even noticed us sitting in the living room. We watched them disappear and I turned back to Piper. "I do...Zack's...he's...I'm blushing, aren't I?" I said, covering my face. "Yeah, a little. It's cute, though. I do it, too." she replied.

"I love Zack...even though he gets on my nerves and drives me fucking insane sometimes...he's good to me, and he's a good dad..." I said. "He is...he loves you and those kids dearly. He didnt want to lose you to the booze, Detta. But, you had him scared," Piper said. "Yeah...I guess I should go apologize to him, huh?" I replied. "It would be nice. I guess I'm going to go...stare at Matt or something. It's weird knowing what I know now." she said. "You need me you let me know," I told her, patting her leg.

Zacky POV-

I laid Plague in his crib and tucked the blanket around him. I hoped Detta was awake when I went into the room. I needed to talk to her about everything that had been going on. I knew things weren't easy on her, but that was no excuse for the drinking she'd been doing...or the cutting. I don't even think she knew that I had any idea she was cutting again. "Goodnight, little buddy," I said, leaning down and kissing my son's forehead. "He's beautiful..." a voice said from the doorway. Detta was leaning against the frame, her favorite black jeans on, a purple plaid button up, and her old, beat up black Converse. For the first time in a long time, she looked sober. She looked like her mind was clear, her eyes not glazed over...she looked beautiful. Maybe it was all the rest she'd gotten since she fell off the bar, I don't really know. "Yeah, he is." I said, licking my lips as Detta walked closer to me. "I um...I think you and I need to talk," Detta said, taking my hands into hers. "About?" I replied.

"Me...you...our boys..." she said, looking down. I pulled her hand, still interlaced with mine up and lifted her chin. "Talk to me, Beautiful," I told her. She blinked back tears and led me out of the nursery, into our bedroom, and shut the door. "What's on your mind?" I asked, sitting down, pulling her onto my lap. She stood up, facing me, hands on my shoulders. "I just want to tell you that I'm really sorry about everything...about my drinking and the miscarriage and the accident at the bar...I know I've been acting really stupid and worrying you...but I promise, no more drinking. I'm gonna give it up...for me, and for you, and for our boys. Piper made me realize that you and my boys are far more important than any bottle of booze...I'm sorry...I am so, so sorry. I love you...please forgive me, Zack. Please," Detta plead, her face streaked with tears.

"Come here," I said, pulling her closer to me. I wrapped my arms around her waist and kissed her lips. "Listen...look at me, Detta," I said. She looked at me, her eyes filling again with tears. "I love you...I love you and those boys more than anything in this world, okay? I know the past few months haven't been easy...but I also know that you can't keep drinking the way you were...I know it won't be easy to give it up, but I'm here for you. I'm gonna support you and help you quit," I told her. She nodded, wiping her face with her arm. "I love you." I told her again. "I love you, too." she replied, her voice cracking. "Don't cry and mess up that pretty face," I said, reaching up and wiping the tears that were falling from her eyes.

"Why do you love me so much Zack? What's to love about me?" she asked. "Why? Because you're amazing. You love me for me...because you had my son...you gave me two amazing sons, Detta. What's not to love? Everything. Every single inch of you is beautiful, every tattoo, every scar..." I said, turning her wrists over and pushing up her sleeves. She closed her eyes and looked down at her feet again. I kissed the cuts on her wrists and pulled her face down to mine again. "I love you, Vendetta Baker," I told her once more. "I love you..." she whispered, her lips still touching mine.

Detta POV-

Zack picked me up and laid me on the bed, hovering over me, unbuttoning my shirt. "You wanna know what all I love about you?" he asked me. I nodded, not really able to speak. Tears were still falling from my eyes. "First off, I love your face...your beautiful, perfect face," he said, kissing my forehead, nose, cheeks, and lips, "And your eyes," he said. He kissed the corners of my eyes. "Your hair...and the way it smells," he said, kissing the top of my head before smelling my hair. "Your cute little ears," he said, kissing my ears. "This tattoo, behind your ear."

He touched and kissed the tattoo behind my right ear. "The one on the back of your neck," he said, smirking. The ZV...of course he loved that one. "And this one," he said, kissing my collarbone. "Confided in me was your heart" it said. I blew out a ragged breath as he kissed my shoulders. "Sit up," he said, rolling onto his side. I sat up and he pushed my shirt the rest of the way off, reaching behind me, unhooking my bra. I wrapped my arms around myself. Zacky shook his head and pulled my arms from around my body, wrapping them around his neck, laying me back on the bed again.

He pulled my bra off and threw it to the side. "I love everything about you." he said, kissing down my chest, between my breasts, down onto my stomach. His hands caressed my sides as he kissed my stomach. I drew in a deep, ragged breath as he unbuttoned my jeans, sliding them down my hips. So, he knew about the cuts on my wrists. Did he know about the ones on my legs? He was about to find out if he didn't already know. I'd had the lights out, much to his disdain, every time we'd done anything sexual since I'd started cutting again.

I reached up to pull the chain on the light, but he stopped me. "Don't," he told me, shaking his head. I sighed and closed my eyes as his lips brushed against my hipbones and he made his way down my thighs. The cuts were faint now, and they probably wouldn't scar too badly. "I'll never understand why you do this..." he said, kissing the cuts on the inside of my left thigh, "but I love you...and I think you're beautiful, flaws and all."

Zacky POV-

After Detta and I finished, she cried again. She kissed me and told me how much she loved me and that she didn't deserve me. It took me a bit, but I convinced her that she did, at least somewhat. "I want you to do something with me," she told me as we laid in our bed, her head on my chest, our clothes still scattered around the room. "What's that?" I asked. "I want you to go downstairs with me and throw away all the liquor bottles...all the beer, all the wine, everything. I want it gone. If I'm going to do this, I need to get rid of it all," she said. "Okay..." I replied. "First, I think we need to get dressed and go check on the boys...we've been in here for over an hour...and we kinda just left them out there with Matt and Piper...who have their own two to take care of," Detta said, giggling. "Yeah, but Matt won't care...we take care of theirs sometimes. And what's an hour? What's another hour?" I said, kissing her neck. She giggled again and kissed my cheek. "Excuse me, Mr. Baker, but we have children to tend to, dinner to cook, and alcohol to trash," she said.

"Hmm, can't that wait?" I asked her. "No, it can't. Plague will be waking up soon, and God knows what our oldest son has gotten into...he's just like you...just like his daddy..." she said, rolling out of bed, picking her clothes up off the floor. She tossed mine onto the bed and pulled hers back on and slipped out of the bedroom into the hallway, leaving me to get dressed. I was proud of her. I knew in the back of my mind that it wasn't going to be easy for her to quit drinking, but I knew more than anything that she could do it.

Detta POV-

I opened the door to my oldest son's bedroom and walked in, sitting on his bed. "What you doing, Monkey?" I said, rubbing his back. "Just about to play Guitar Hero," he said. "Yeah? Me and Daddy are gonna go cook dinner...you wanna come help us?" I asked. He shook his head. "No, I wanna play my game." he replied. "Listen...um...I know Mommy hasn't been..." I sighed, searching for the words, "I know Mommy hasn't been herself lately, but that's all gonna change soon, okay? I'm gonna start spending more time with you, and Plague, and Daddy...and less time sleeping and drinking and partying, okay?" I said, running my hands through his hair. He turned to me and smiled. "Good. I've missed you, Mommy," he said, hugging me. I hugged him closely as tears fell once more from my eyes.

The door opened and Zack walked in, carrying Plague in his arms. "Go to Mommy," Zack said, kissing Plague's cheek and setting him down on the floor. I moved from the bed to the floor, my legs spread as Plague began to walk toward me. "Come here, baby...come to Mama..." I said. I couldn't help but to cry again. He walked straight to me, a smile on his face. "Look at Mama's baby boy! You're growing up so fast..." I said, my voice cracking as I kissed my baby's forehead. "I'm sorry I've missed so much..." I whispered, kissing him again.

After dinner, I gave the boys baths and put them to bed before heading back downstairs with Zacky. "I figured we could pour it all down the drain and then go break the bottles in the street if you want to..." he said, gathering liquor bottles off the shelf into his arms. "We could...but that would be a big mess for us to clean up. We'll just empty them out and throw the bottles away," I said, laughing. He shrugged and one of the bottles slipped from his arms, shattering on the marble floor. "Ugh...God, that smells awful." I said, wrinkling my nose. "Yeah...and just think, you've been drinking that stuff, every single day." he told me. "Don't remind me." I said, gagging. How had I done it? How had I consumed so much liquor and whiskey without the smell alone making me sick? I had no idea, but I never wanted to touch alcohol again.

-Three Weeks Later-

"Piper...you wanna come with me?" I asked, grabbing my coat off the coat rack by the front door. Jimmy's coat hung there still...even though years had passed since he'd left us. "Where you going?" she asked. "To the doctor...I don't really like going alone and Zack's at his mom's..." I replied. "Gynecologist appointment?" she asked. I nodded, opening the front door. "Sure..." she replied, standing up. She grabbed for Jimmy's coat. "Um...not that one..." I said, stopping her. "Oh...okay..." she replied, grabbing for another one. It was Matt's Ed Hardy hoodie. "That one's good...the other one, though..um...that's Jimmy's...no one's touched it since Jimmy hung it there before he died..." I told her. She nodded in response. "I see," she said.

I blinked back tears. I hadn't cried over Jimmy in a long time. Why was I crying now? "You okay?" Piper asked. "Yeah...I'm just...I dunno. Thinking about Jimmy gets to me sometimes," I said, unlocking my car. We got in and rode together to the doctors' office. Fortunately, there wasn't much of a wait and they brought me to the back quickly. "We're just going to draw a little blood, run a few tests, then we'll go through the physical exam." the nurse said, rubbing the crook of my elbow before sticking it with a needle. "Ouch," I mumbled. "Sorry," she replied. "It's fine. I just hate needles." I told her. She laughed and capped the tube of blood. I knew why she was laughing. My arms were covered in tattoos, I had my snakebites, my septum, and multiple holes in my ears, yet I hated needles. Everyone laughed when I told them I hated needles.

She left, leaving Piper and I alone to wait on the doctor. "I hate doctors offices." Piper said. "I bet..." I replied. We sat and talked for about half an hour before the doctor finally came in. "Mrs. Baker..." the doctor said, opening the door. "That would be me." I answered, leaning back. "First, I'd like to discuss the results of your blood tests." he said, taking a seat at my feet. I sat up. That didn't sound good. What the hell had I done while I was drunk? "Okay..." I replied slowly. "Mrs. Baker, it looks like you're expecting again." he told me. "WHAT?" I replied. "Yes ma'am. Pregnancy test came back positive. This, of course, changes the physical exam we'll administer today...now, a few routine questions...when was your last menstrual period?"

I redressed as quick as I could after the exam, my entire body shaking. What was Zack going to say? Did he want another baby? After the way I'd been acting, I wouldn't blame him if he didn't. Sure, I'd been sober for three weeks...but we'd just lost a baby six months prior. Were either of us ready for another baby? With a six and a half year old and a one year old, could we handle it? My mind was racing, right along with my heart, and I'm sure my blood pressure was through the roof. "Just calm down, Detta," I told myself out loud. "You okay, Detta?" Piper asked, laying a hand on my shoulder. I nodded, swallowing hard. "Yeah. I'll be fine...I'm just kinda...caught off guard. I wasn't expecting this. I don't know what to do, Piper...I don't know if Zack wants another kid. I don't know if we can handle another baby," I told her.

"Zacky will be fine...you guys can handle it. You're great parents." Piper assured me. I turned to her, tears filling my eyes. "God, Piper, I hope you're right," I said. "Everything will be fine," Piper replied.

"I can't tell him, Piper. I just can't..." I said, sitting in the car. "You have to sometime...he'll notice sooner or later, Detta," Piper told me. "You haven't told Matt." I pointed out. "Good point...how about we make a deal...when one of us spills, the other has a week to tell the dad," she suggested. I nodded. "Sounds good..."

Zacky POV-

I took Plague out of his high chair and set him on the floor. "Dad...dad...dad..." he said, over and over. "Daddy's right here." I said, wiping off the tray and seat of his chair. "Mama!" he squealed, clapping. "Hey there, Hellraiser," Detta's voice came. I couldn't help but laugh when she called him by the nickname I'd given him when he was still in the womb. "How'd the doctor go?" I asked my wife after she gave me a kiss. "Umm...it uh...it went fine," she said, wiping Plague's face off. "You don't sound so sure." I replied. "Um...well..." she replied, still avoiding my eyes. "No secrets, remember?" I reminded her. "I'm pregnant," she said. "You are?" I asked. Detta nodded, picking up our youngest son. She looked like she was about to cry. "I just found out today...they said they guessed I was about three or four weeks," she told me. I smiled and walked around the table. "Why do you look like you're about to cry?" I asked. "Because I am..." she replied, laying her head on my chest. "Don't..." I said, kissing her forehead.

"Zacky, how are we gonna handle another baby? We have a six, almost seven, year old, a one year old...do you really think we can handle this? Do you even want another baby?" she asked. "Detta...you're the love of my life. Why would I not want another baby by you? And of course we can handle it...we've done a damn good job with the two we have so far...give me one good reason to why we shouldn't have another? I'm thrilled about this, to be honest."

Detta looked up at me, a smile pulling at the corners of her lips. "You are?" she asked. I nodded, brushing her cheek with the back of my hand. "I am. Very. I do have one confession, though..." I replied. "What's that?" she asked. "I really, really hope you have a girl this time." I said. She laughed and kissed my lips. "Me too," she said, kissing Plague's cheek. "Mamamamamamamama..." he babbled on and on. "Mama loves her baby," she told him. He gave her a slobbery kiss. "Awww...thank you baby..." she said, laughing. She took him upstairs and changed him before rocking him to sleep while I went to pick up Little Zack from school. My phone went off just as he got into the car. "Don't tell him yet, okay?" it said. I hit reply and told Zacky to buckle his seatbelt. "I am, Daddy," he replied. "Just making sure..." I told him as I typed a response to Detta. "I won't, promise. We'll tell him together, when you're ready."

"Thank you, Zack...I love you...so much...tell my Monkey I love him! I'm gonna go take a shower...all the babies are asleep," she replied. "K. See you in a few," I sent back. I threw the phone in the cupholder next to me and looked in the mirror at Zacky. "Your mom said to tell you she loves you," I told him. "Okay," he replied, staring out the window. "What's wrong?" I asked. "Nothing..." he answered. "What's on your mind, kiddo?" I replied. "I just was thinking..." he told me. "What about?" I replied. "Well, my friend got a new little sister yesterday. I know I have Plague, but I want a sister," he said. I almost choked on my soda. "A sister?" I repeated.

"Yeah. You know...I think it would be cool. I love Shadow and all, but she's not my sister. I think you and Mommy should have another baby," he said. What the fuck? Was this kid psychic? "Well...we'll just have to see about that. That's a big decision to make," I replied, turning onto our street. "You guys should think about it. I'm serious," he said. "I'll talk to your mom...be quiet when you go inside. Plague, Rev, and Shadow are all asleep."

He went inside quietly and sat down at the dining room table to do his homework. I ran up the stairs to find Detta. I had to tell her about what Zacky told me in the car. "Detta!" I called, opening the bathroom door. "Yeah, baby?" she said, sticking her head out of the shower. "I have to tell you about what our son told me in the car," I said, walking closer to her. "What did he say?" she asked me.

Detta POV-

I laughed so hard my sides hurt when Zack told me what Little Zee had told him in the car. He wanted a new baby sister. What was my kid, psychic?


End file.
